Cast Me Gently into Morning
by OveractiveImagination39
Summary: After Ba Sing Se Zuko is given a chance to redeem himself. With the help of Guru Pathik he sets out to open the seven chakras. Along the way he confronts painful truths about his past and himself, as well as experiencing the power of forgiveness and love.
1. Prolog: In That Brief Moment

_**Image (Zutara Comfort) for story used with permission from Tempest-in-Blue.**  
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_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters_

**In That Brief Moment**

Katara knelt down by the side of the prince who she hated so much. He had been her enemy since the first moment they saw each other. He had invaded her home and scared her people in his attempt to find the Avatar. His mind was set on that mission alone and nothing they ever did could sway him from his course. He had chased them around the world in his quest to restore his honor. On more then one occasion he had come dangerously close to succeeding. Now he lay before her close to death and his life hung on her ability to put aside all her loathing for him and use her healing abilities to make him whole again.

She honestly didn't know if she could do it. Maybe before Ba Sing Se but now… now she just didn't know. Ba Sing Se had changed everything. Her life would never be the same again. Everything she had believed had been tested and just when she began to believe that he deserved a chance he had betrayed her.

She looked at his face as he lay before her clinging desperately to life. That face; that scar. The mark of the banished prince, he had told her. The mark that had started him on his insane journey that had encompassed all their lives in its passage. She thought back to that moment in the cave deep under the city. He had seemed so vulnerable then and she had felt sorry for him. She had decided to try to help him by healing his scar. He had seemed grateful and in total submission had approached her. Closing his eyes he had surrendered himself to her care.

In that brief moment after he had closed his eyes she had entertained many thoughts. She had noticed many things. Looking at his face this close she had realized one thing that she hadn't noticed before; he was extremely good looking. From the jet black hair that was in such sharp contrast to his pale skin, to the perfect lines of his jaw and the stubborn set of his mouth. He had the kind of face that could take a girl's breath away. She had spent a moment gazing at his lips and she wondered briefly what it would feel like to press her lips upon his. To feel him respond to her with passion and love. That thought sent a tingling sensation down her spine that surprised her with its intensity.

Suddenly she desired more than anything to know what it would be like to be his. To have him hold her tightly in his arms and whisper words of love and affection. She imagined a simple life in which he cherished her and loved her as a husband loves a wife. This need was so powerful that it took her breath away and she let out a tiny gasp.

Moving her hand to his face she gently touched his scar, her thumb laying feather like against his lips. She shuddered at the sensations she felt at that moment when she made contact with his skin and she wondered if he was possibly feeling the same thing as well. In that brief moment she realized that she could love him. That if the time were right and the situation were different she could fall for him completely. She felt awed by this insight.

But then everything had changed. Aang had appeared and in her relief to see her friend she had lost the magic that had been there with Zuko. She had gone with Aang to help the Earth King and Iroh had promised that he and Zuko would catch up to them after he had explained things to his nephew. Zuko had appeared angry. His hatred for Aang was clearly visible.

As she left that cave she remembered turning back one last time to look at him. He returned her gaze and she saw a longing there that she had not seen before and in her heart she had felt the stirrings of hope. Maybe, just maybe all that she longed for in that brief moment before, would come true.

She had followed Aang out of the cave. Her heart felt light and the world seemed to hold new promise. They would win this war. With Zuko and Iroh on their side they would defeat Azula and save the city from the girl and her evil ways. And then as if on cue she had appeared and they hard started to battle. She and Aang had the princess at a disadvantage when Zuko had shown up. She felt relief at the sight of him but then he had done something that she hadn't thought possible, he betrayed her. Firing on Aang he had effectively crushed all that they had had in the cave moments before.

Her heart beat painfully in her chest as she fought his sister and when she had Azula close to defeat he had interfered. The fight had shifted and now it was she and he engaged in a battle.

"I thought you had changed." she said.

"I have." He simply replied and for a moment she wasn't sure what he had meant but she knew in her heart that all her dreams earlier had just been shattered.

All those musings earlier had been just the foolish desires of a young girl caught up in her image of a daring prince. But this prince had not come to her rescue. Instead he had betrayed her. He had nearly cost Aang his life and now his own hung in the balance.

He had been injured in a blast that had destroyed his ship as it headed for home. He was on his way to deliver his uncle to the Fire Nation when her tribes' tangle mines had blown and effectively shut down his vessel. In the ensuing battle his ship had shot a fire ball towards her father's boat. Aang had leapt forward and shot the blast back towards Zuko's ship. The ball of fire hit the ship near its boiler and the explosion that followed nearly cut the vessel in two. Zuko had managed to free his uncle from the prison hold and was on deck when the blast hit. He was sent into the water, the force causing him severe injuries.

Her father had pulled him from the water, along with other survivors. They would be held as prisoners of the Water Tribe. Of course Hakoda hadn't known who he was and it wasn't until he was laid on the beach that Sokka had made the discovery. He had wanted to kill him then but his father had stopped him.

In the end they had rescued Iroh from the water and the old man had pleaded with her to save Zuko's life. He knelt by the boy. Tears streamed down his face. "Please heal him." He had begged Katara. "Please save my nephew."

"I don't know if I can." She had replied.

"You have to at least try."

She looked at him and then sadly said, "No I don't think you understand. Let me rephrase it. I don't know if I want to heal him."

He gasped at the coldness in her voice but she blamed Zuko for that. He had taken something from her that day in Ba Sing Se and she didn't know if she would ever get it back. Watching her friend die in her arms only to be revived with the water from the Spirit Oasis, had hardened her heart. She honestly didn't know if she could look past that pain to even try to heal him.

As she gazed at his face she thought of how she hated him. He had been her enemy before and but for that brief moment in Ba Sing Se he was her enemy again. She closed her eyes and felt the sting of tears that she refused to shed. Slowly she opened her eyes and stood. She couldn't do it. She hated him.

She started to walk away when she felt the need to look back one more time and she realized that though she hated him a part of her couldn't help but love him. She walked back to him and kneeling down beside him she opened her water skin.

"It's ok Zuko. I'm going to heal you."

**A.N.** Originally this was going to be a one shot but I decided to continue so I hope you like it. Thanks for the reviews and the encouragement!


	2. Chapter 1 Against Her Will

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**Against Her Will**

**They had been flying on Appa's back for some time now and Katara was beginning to feel the strain from the past day catching up to her.** Healing always took energy from her leaving her feeling weak and in need of rest, but there had been no time for rest after she had tended to Zuko. The Fire Nation was after them yet again and they all had to clear out quickly before they were caught in another battle.

Sokka, Toph, and the Earth King had gone with her father and his men. They were headed for the southern end of the Earth Kingdom. The plan was that her brother and friend would head to Omashu and find King Bumi. The crazy old king had told Aang the last time he had seen him that he was waiting for the right moment to make his move. Katara hoped that now was the right moment. Things had become pretty desperate and they needed everyone that they could find to help them when the eclipse occurred.

Her father and his men had the task of bringing the Earth King to meet up with General Fong at the Earth Kingdom base just north of Omashu. Their plan was to gather their forces using the base as the center of operations. Once the king was settled in Hakoda planned to head north to enlist the help of the Northern Water Tribe. The hope was that with their sister tribe by their side as well as any Earth Kingdom forces they could gather, they would be able to invade the Fire Nation on the Day of Black Sun and defeat the Fire Lord once and for all.

The eclipse was eight weeks away. That gave Aang a little over a month to master fire bending before they needed to rendezvous with her father at the base. Originally the plan had not included mastering the last element; Aang had no master to teach him. But on the shore that afternoon Iroh had made a plea with the Avatar to take him and Zuko with him and had promised that in exchange he would teach the boy fire bending. Aang had not been immediate in his response. He had weighed the information along with recent events but in the end he trusted Iroh. Zuko was an entirely different story and neither he nor Katara had wanted to bring the prince with them. Iroh though wouldn't leave his nephew and Aang reluctantly agreed to take them both.

She was not happy with the decision. Though she had just healed him moments before she was still too leery of Zuko to want to have him with her and Aang for an indefinite period of time. Sokka of course had been livid. He refused to let them take the two fire benders with them. He didn't think the risk was worth it. She agreed with her brother but surprisingly her father felt differently. Hakoda pointed out that even if the Avatar could not use fire bending on the day of the eclipse he should still master it so that he could become fully realized and fulfill his destiny. The world had waited too long for his return and they couldn't let personal feelings or fears, no matter how grounded in truth, keep that from happening.

She understood what her father was saying but it didn't make taking Zuko along any easier. Still they had loaded him on Appa's back and then taken off. After just a brief time with her father she was leaving him again. The tears she refused to shed burned her eyes but she would not let her feelings get the best of her, especially in front of other people. She longed to be with her brother and father but she knew that Aang needed her more. He was still weak from the blast he took from Azula and even though the water from her amulet had restored him to life he still had a burn mark on his back that was not yet completely healed. Leaving him alone with the two fire benders would have been foolish and so she had come to care for him and protect him as well.

Now she sat on Appa's back staring at her enemy, refusing to let the sleep that she so desperately desired overtake her tired body. Iroh sat towards the middle of the bison's back. He clutched tightly to the animal's fur with one hand while the other grasped firmly to his nephew. Zuko had never regained consciousness after she had healed him. He lay on Appa's back oblivious to what was occurring around him. Occasionally he moaned in his sleep and a few times he had cried out begging someone not to leave him. Who that person was she didn't know but the words had seemed to distress his uncle. He held the boy tightly and spoke soothing words to him. His face was pale and his eyes were red from crying. It was obvious that he loved Zuko but Katara couldn't understand why. The prince had completely betrayed the old man back in Ba Sing Se. And then to top it off he was bringing Iroh to the Fire Nation to face death or imprisonment at the hands of the Fire Lord. Still Iroh was loyal to Zuko. Pleading for his life. Begging her to heal him and then take him with them.

He had told her that if they left Zuko behind Azula would kill him. In fact he had gathered information from a soldier still loyal to him on board Zuko's ship that the princess had planned to turn her brother over as well once they reached the fire nation. The plan had been to let the prince believe that he was returning home to reclaim his honor but once they docked in the port of the capital the soldiers would overpower him and deliver both Zuko and Iroh to the Fire Lord. It was never Ozai's intention to restore his son's honor. Azula had played her brother for the fool and Zuko had let her.

But none of that mattered anymore. Everything had changed when her father's men had taken down his ship earlier in the day. Whatever plans Azula had for him were history now. Zuko had unknowingly been rescued from his sister's clutches by the people who hated him almost as much as she did. Personally she thought it very fitting that the betrayer was going to be betrayed himself. Azula and Zuko deserved each other as they were both backstabbing, manipulative liars.

As she continued to watch the two fire benders she could feel her eyes start to droop. She was tired and if she wasn't careful she was going to fall off of Appa. Slowly she crawled towards Aang. He sat in his usual spot on the bison's head. Moving to the space next to him she smiled and said, "I'm fading fast. If I don't shut my eyes for a few minutes I'm going to be useless latter."

"It's no problem Katara. I'm fine and I really don't think that Iroh and Zuko are going to be any trouble. Catch a little sleep and I'll wake you if I need you." He smiled at her and she felt some of her anger from earlier leave her.

"Thanks Aang." She said and then leaning slightly against him she fell asleep.

When she awoke the sky was beginning to darken and the air had taken on a slight chill. How long had she slept, she wondered? Could it really be night already? She turned to Aang and noticed that her friend looked exhausted. Concern for him made her anxious. In her need for sleep she had neglected to consider how he felt. He was not quite well yet and could become ill if he wasn't careful.

"Aang are you ok?" she asked with alarm in her voice.

He smiled at her and said, "I could use a little sleep myself but I'm fine." He took in her concerned look and added, "Really Katara, I'm ok."

"Well we should probably land soon anyways before we run out of daylight."

"I agree with you on that. Let me look for a spot to land and we can set up camp."

She glanced back at Iroh and Zuko and noticed that the old man looked worse than any of them. He was still clutching fiercely to his nephew but his eyes were heavy and his breathing was becoming a little too steady. If he fell asleep Aang would be out a master to teach him. There was no way that he was going to hold on to Appa and the prince.

She turned back to Aang. "We should really land now. I don't think that Iroh is going to stay awake too much longer himself."

Aang nodded and eased Appa down. He found a place within a grove of trees that offered them protection and shelter. Landing the bison he hopped down and stretched. Katara looked to Iroh and noticed that he was having difficulty moving Zuko. She worked her way to where he was and holding out her hand said simply, "Here, let me help you up. You go ahead and I'll take Zuko."

"But he's too heavy for you alone to carry." The old man said.

"Believe me I've carried heavier things and besides neither you nor Aang are in any condition to be dragging him about. Please just let me do this for you?"

Iroh smiled at her and said, "Thank you Katara. Not just for this but for everything. I know that my nephew has caused you much suffering. It was very kind of you to help us."

It wasn't my choice, she said to herself. If it had been up to her Zuko would be in his sister's custody now. Still she liked Iroh and she didn't want to insult him. So she kept silent. She went to kneel behind the prince. Hooking her arms under his arm pits she went to stand. As soon as her skin made contact with his though she noticed that he was burning up. How long had he had this fever she wondered? She had healed his wounds but sometimes infection could still set in. She would deal with his fever after she got him settled in.

She went to stand, pulling him with her as she did. He let out a groan as if in pain. As she pulled him close she felt something wet against her stomach. Looking down she noticed blood on Appa's fur and she could only imagine that her dress was now wet with it as well. She gently eased him back down and rolled him onto his right side. As she moved aside what was left of his shirt she noticed a small puncture wound. She couldn't believe that she had missed it earlier but she had been rushed. She uncapped her water skin and pulled some water out. As she set about healing the wound she noticed that the sight of the injury was pretty dirty and she now understood the reason for the fever. He had an infection all right and it was because she had been distracted by her anger at him that she had missed the wound that was its source.

She placed the water against his skin and he flinched when it made contact. "Stay still," she whispered, "You've got a wound that needs healing. Let me do this and then we can get you down and somewhere a little more comfortable."

After healing him she slowly rose to her feet again. Mustering all her strength she managed to drag him to a spot that Iroh had set up for him. As she laid him down she told the old man about Zuko's injury.

"You need to get some sleep." She said after she told him, "I'll keep an eye on Zuko through the night. In the morning we can look for some herbs that may help him fight this infection. Hopefully the fever will ease on its own."

His uncle seemed relieved by her comments and gratefully fell onto his mat next to his nephew. Within minutes the fire bender was asleep.

She sat quietly next to Zuko. Aang had managed to find some wood and started a fire. Sitting across from her he asked, "How are you doing Katara? You seem… I don't know… just not yourself."

She didn't want to burden him with her feelings so she replied, "I just miss Sokka and my dad. I wish we could have gone with them."

"I'm sorry Katara but I need to do this. I never meant for you to have to suffer for it though."

"I know that learning fire bending is important to you Aang and really it's ok."

"Well actually the fire bending isn't the only reason I was not going to join you guys until later. I have some unfinished business to attend to."

She stared at him and then asked, "Aang where exactly are we going?"

He got a wistful expression and then said, "To my first home. Where I met Appa and started to learn about air bending. I need to see the Guru. We have much to discuss."

"The Eastern Air Temple?" she asked.

He nodded and said, "It's well protected and I should be able to learn fire bending in peace. Hopefully Azula knows nothing about it. Still if she comes for us we will be able to see her well in advance. We should be just fine."

So she would finally meet this guru that Aang had gone to meet when he left Ba Sing Se. She wondered what he was like. She also wondered what would happen once they arrived. They planned to stay for almost a month. She didn't know if she could take Zuko for that long but she really didn't want him anywhere near Aang while he was training.

She glanced down at the prince. Of course he had to survive this fever. Guilt nagged at her conscience. She should have seen that wound. He could die and then it would be her fault. As a healer she should have put aside everything else and focused on the task at hand.

Removing what was left of his tattered shirt she gently placed a blanket over him and began to tear strips from the cloth. She soaked them in water and then cooled them with her bending. She laid a wet cloth on his forehead. There was little more that she could do for now. Tomorrow she would look for those herbs she had mentioned to Iroh. If they could brew them into a tea for him to drink it would help him recover quicker.

She gave a look back over at Aang and saw that he had fallen asleep already. She smiled, glad that he was resting. Beside her she heard Zuko moaning again as he tossed about.

"Please don't leave me." He pleaded again. "Please don't go."

She couldn't help but feel pity for him. She reached out and righted the cloth that had fallen from his forehead. With the back of her hand she felt his unscarred cheek. He was burning hotter than before. The realization that he might just die hit her hard and somewhere deep inside of her she couldn't help but feel panic. As much as she hated him she still didn't want him to die.

"Please don't leave me." He rasped again.

The sadness in his tone tore at her heart and without thought she said softly, "It's ok Zuko. I won't leave you." Just don't leave me she thought. She shook her head as if to dislodge the traitorous thought. She didn't care for him. She wouldn't care for him. He had hurt her once and she would never let him close enough to do it again.

As she looked at his face she noticed a calm expression where before had been fear. Her words had connected with his fevered mind and she had helped to ease his pain. Suddenly the tears that she had been holding back all day started to fall. They ran down her cheeks and splashed onto his face. He never noticed and she was thankful for that. She sat back and pulled her legs against her chest. Gently she rocked back and forth letting the tears come. All the pain from Ba Sing Se; Jet's death, Zuko's betrayal, Aang's injury and near death experience, and finally parting ways with her brother and father washed through her. It felt good to let it out. It felt good to feel something besides anger again, even it was only pain.

**A.N.** Well I decided to go ahead and write this. I have had the idea for some time now but really wanted to finish the _Walls Between Them_ first. But I couldn't hold back. I will try to keep up with both, hopefully compromising neither in the process.

I took the title for this from the Sarah McLachlan song _Answer. _The verse goes, "Cast me gently into morning for the night has been unkind." That was a little too long for a title but it does sum up the story. This is all about healing - both for Zuko and Katara.

Please let me know what you think of the story and hopefully I can post again soon.


	3. Chapter 2 The True Path to Healing

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**The True Path to Healing**

**She awoke before dawn to the sound of someone screaming**. Sitting up quickly, her heart slamming in her chest, she gazed around the small campsite. She was met with equally startled gazes from Aang and Iroh. They all looked to Zuko who was tossing and turning on his mat. She reached out and put her hand to his forehead. Alarm spread through her as she withdrew her hand. She had never felt someone this hot before. If they didn't find a way to bring down his fever he may not live to see the next day.

"How is he?" Iroh asked nervously.

"He's not doing well at all." She replied rather bluntly. "We need to get his fever down now." Turning to Aang she asked, "Did you notice any bodies of water near here when you landed Appa yesterday?"

He thought for a moment and then said, "I don't remember any but I do know that we should be coming to a river soon."

"Then we need to get moving immediately. I need to bring down his fever quickly and I think the best way to do that will be to submerge him in cool water."

Aang nodded his head and then started to pack up their things. "We can be in the air in a few minutes." He said as he gathered their sleeping mats.

Iroh knelt on the ground next to Zuko. The prince was thrashing about and groaning. "Please don't leave me." He pleaded again.

Iroh smoothed his nephew's hair with his hand and spoke to him in a soothing voice. "Everything is going to be alright Prince Zuko. Just hold on. Just hold on." Tears once again streamed down the old man's face. He continued to kneel beside him until they were ready to go.

Using his air bending Aang lifted the prince onto Appa's back. She crawled up next to Zuko holding onto one arm with Iroh holding his other. As soon as they were seated Aang gave the bison the signal to go. They rose into the sky just as the sun began to rise. The sight was breath taking but she didn't have time to admire it. She was too busy scanning the land below them for the river that Aang had mentioned earlier. After a short while she finally spotted it and yelled to her friend to land Appa.

She turned to Iroh and said, "Once we land I need you to look for the Huang Qi plant. Are you familiar with it?" He nodded in answer and she continued. "We'll need the root. Once you find it you can boil it and make a tea for him to drink. It won't taste too good but right now it's our best chance to help him fight this infection."

As she finished giving her directions they landed by the river. Dragging Zuko to the bank, she slowly entered the water. It was cold against her skin and she hoped that it wouldn't shock his system too much but she really had no other choice. If she didn't bring his fever down soon he would die. Aang and Iroh spread out into the forest in search of the plant. She knew that it grew rather abundantly in the northern end of the Earth Kingdom. Hopefully they would find it.

She walked out into the water until it came to a little above her waist. She held Zuko securely against her chest with one arm and with her free hand she gently cooled his face and hair using the cloth from earlier. All the while he cried out, pleading with an unknown person not to leave him. She spoke softly to him trying to give him some comfort but she was afraid that he was too far gone to really hear her.

His breathing was very shallow and she could feel his heart beating fast in his chest. Once again she felt a feeling of panic wash through her. He couldn't die. It would be her fault. She should have caught the wound that had caused this infection. She shouldn't have let herself become so distracted yesterday. Still no matter how she felt she couldn't change her mistake she could only correct it. She knew how to fight infection and she would fight this one with everything in her. He would get better and when he did she would face him as an equal and he would be held accountable for what he had done in Ba Sing Se.

Suddenly Zuko's body stiffened in her arms jarring her back to the present. His eyes flew open but he didn't focus on anything in particular. In a voice hoarse from the fever he cried out, "Please father…I am your loyal son…please forgive me… I will not fight you… "

He started to struggle against the hold she had on him and she tightened her grip. Once again she whispered words of comfort trying to calm him but it was of no use. He continued to rant from his hysteria.

"Uncle…uncle…please I need to see…I need to know…" It became increasingly harder to hold him. Whatever he was envisioning was making him very agitated. Suddenly he screamed out loudly and pulled away from her grasp. As she lost her grip on him he went under the water. Frantically she reached for him, finally grasping his hair. She moved her hand down and finding his arm she began to pull him back to the surface. He gasped for air and began coughing violently. Regaining her grip on him she pulled him tighter to her chest.

"Stop fighting me!" She yelled out, even though she knew that he couldn't hear her. He still felt hot to the touch and she wondered if he would ever shake this fever. As she continued to hold him she felt him start to finally relax in her arms. He continued to cry out but not with the intensity of before.

She stood there holding him and waiting for the fever to lessen. All the while she spoke soothingly to him trying to ease his distress. Time passed and she began to hear noises behind her. Aang called from the shore, "Katara we found the plant you wanted. Iroh is making the tea now. Why don't you come out and dry off and we'll try to get Zuko to drink it."

Drying off sounded very nice. Her hands were getting numb from the combination of the water and her grip on Zuko. She looked forward to sitting next to the fire and enjoying its warmth. She pulled Zuko back to shore and dragged him to the mat that Aang had set up next to the fire. Using her bending she pulled the water from their clothes and then sat down next to the prince. Iroh had finished the brew and had poured it into a cup.

"We'll need to get him to sit up." He said to her. "I think he'll take the tea better from me. Could you hold him up so that I can give it to him?"

She nodded her head and went to kneel behind Zuko. She reached down and pulled him into a sitting position; his back leaning against her chest. He was still extremely warm but the fever had dropped from its dangerous high of earlier. Iroh knelt down in front of his nephew and tried to wake him.

Slowly Zuko opened his eyes and turned towards his uncle's voice. "Uncle," he rasped, sounding almost surprised to see the old man.

"Zuko, I need you to drink this tea. You've been injured and your body needs it to fight off the infection." Iroh said sternly.

"No more tea." Zuko replied. "I'm sick of tea!"

"Zuko you need to drink it so that you can get better!" His uncle replied with a little more authority in his voice.

Zuko raised his arm and ineffectively tried to push his uncle's hand away. Without thought she reached out and grabbed his hand and pulled it to his side. "You need to do as your uncle says." She stated crossly.

"Katara?" he asked. She startled at the mention of her name. She didn't think that he even knew it let alone that he would recognize her just by the sound of her voice.

"Zuko you need to drink the tea. The herb that it's brewed from will help you heal." She replied.

He responded by moving his face away from his uncle's outstretched hand. "Prince Zuko!" Iroh's voice boomed, "You will drink this now!"

Katara had never heard the old man speak so harshly before and she found herself a little intimidated by his tone. Zuko stiffened and then turned back to his uncle. Though she couldn't see his face she was sure that he was glaring at his him. Iroh held the cup up to Zuko's mouth and the prince reluctantly started to drink the bitter tea.

"This…is…awful." He said between gasps.

Iroh smiled and said, "Then it'll probably do the trick. Medicine is never meant to be enjoyed; otherwise we would never want to get better."

Zuko finished the remainder of the tea in the cup and then relaxed again against her chest. Though his fever had eased somewhat he was still exhausted. She looked to Aang and said, "We should probably get going again so we can make it to the temple before sunset."

"Oh we're a lot closer than that. We should have plenty of time. Still I agree; we should get moving. Someone could be on our trail."

Soon they had loaded up the mat, herbs, and tea pot and were back in the sky. Iroh asked her to stay with him and Zuko. He was still anxious that something would happen to his nephew and wanted her to lend a hand just in case.

For the most part Zuko remained pretty calm during the flight. With the fever at a more manageable level he was sleeping a little easier. She and Iroh sat in silence until finally her curiosity got the best of her and she asked, "Who is he calling for; when he asks for someone not to leave him?"

Iroh looked sad and in a soft voice he replied, "His mother. She and he were very close. Ursa was his defender and champion. He loved her very much."

"What happened to her? He mentioned that he lost her to the Fire Nation. What does that mean?" she asked further.

"She disappeared when he was a young boy." Iroh started. "No one knows exactly what happened or at least no one who knows is talking. Zuko won't even confide in me the full details. All I know is that the night my father, Fire Lord Azulon died Ursa vanished. Some say she killed him but I find that hard to believe. Ursa was a gentle woman. The only way she would have acted in violence towards another would be if they threatened her children. And I doubt that my father would have done that."

"I can't believe that no one knows what happened to her. I mean she was the wife of the future Fire Lord. People would want to know why she was suddenly gone." She stated

"You have to understand royalty in the Fire Nation," Iroh replied, "We are likened to gods. The people don't question the decisions we make or the things we do. Ozai did not need to explain Ursa's disappearance. In fact the whole thing was over shadowed by Fire Lord Azulon's death. By the time the people were done mourning his passing, Ursa was all but forgotten."

"That's horrible." She simply responded.

"What was truly horrible was that without her in his life Zuko was truly alone."

"But he had you." She said.

"Not immediately following her disappearance. I was returning from my failed campaign on Ba Sing Se. I had just lost my only son to the war and I was shamed by my inability to take the city. When I heard of my father's death I was shocked. Of course not as shocked as when I learned that my younger brother had been crowned Fire Lord. In my grief I decided not to return home. Instead I wandered the Earth Kingdom for some time learning about the people and their ways. I realized many things during my self imposed exile and gained a new appreciation of the different cultures. It was a few years before I finally returned home.

In my absence my brother had continued the war but at a much more aggressive pace. He craved power and in his quest to dominate the world he had little time for his son. I took the boy under my wing and began to teach him the things he would need to know to one day take his father's place."

"So Zuko will be the next Fire Lord?" She asked.

Iroh grew quiet for a moment and then responded sadly, "When Zuko was banished at fourteen his father told him that he needed to find the Avatar and return him to the Fire Nation. If that had simply happened then yes, Zuko would be the next ruler after his father's passing. But after the Fire Nation's attack on the Northern Water Tribe and subsequent defeat Ozai viewed Zuko as a complete failure. He sent Azula to capture him and take him home as a prisoner and she almost succeeded. Now that he is a wanted fugitive I don't believe that even returning the Avatar will place him in his father's favor again."

"I take it that Zuko doesn't share your point of view on that." She said with bitterness in her voice.

"For a time I thought that he was beginning to understand but I was wrong." The old man answered. "I can only hope that now he will begin to see the truth."

Katara stared at him in disbelief. "How can you still believe in him? He completely betrayed you back at Ba Sing Se. If my father and his men hadn't interfered you would be on your way home to face death."

"I love him like a son, Katara. When you have children of your own one day you will understand. You have to be forgiving and you have to let people rise above their mistakes…"

"Well his mistake almost cost Aang his life!" She said heatedly.

"Yes, it was very unfortunate but Zuko can be a rash young man and Azula presented him with the one thing he couldn't resist – restoring his honor and returning home."

"So his honor is more important than the fate of the world."

"The situation is very complicated. There is a lot more to this that you don't know. But I want you to remember one thing when you condemn him for turning on me and on you: Azula is a very persuasive person. She has a true gift for speech. She can make a person believe anything she tells them. Don't forget she managed to turn the Dai Li against their leader. Her promise of power and control made them betray Long Feng. Zuko was like putty in her hands. She had been manipulating him her whole life. She knew just the right words to say and he fell for her lies because he wanted so desperately for them to be true."

"Well it doesn't excuse what he did."

"No it doesn't. But it sometimes makes it easier to forgive someone for their wrongs when you understand the motivation behind them."

"I will never forgive him for what he did." She said with resentment in her voice. She turned away from Iroh unable to look at him anymore.

They sat in silence for some time when Zuko began to show distress. She turned back again to Iroh and he said simply, "I think he's having a dream but I don't believe that it's a pleasant one."

_**He was back beneath the city of Ba Sing Se**. A feeling of dread coursed through his body and he sensed that he was not alone in the eerie green tunnels. Someone or more precisely something was down there with them. He scanned the area looking for the intruder but he could see nothing._

_"Show yourself!" he yelled with more courage than he felt._

_He heard a rustling sound and then an intense heat filled the area. Behind him he felt the moist warmth of something breathing; something very big. He dare not turn around. _

_"Zuko you failed again." Came the sinister voice of the creature behind him. "I should have killed you while I had the chance."_

_He knew that voice. He had heard it before during his illness after he freed the Avatar's bison. It was the Blue Dragon. It was Azula! Without turning around he started to run. He had to escape. There had to be a way out. He could feel the dragon close behind him. His heart beat painfully in his chest as he pushed himself to run faster._

_"It's no use running. I will catch you. I have always been better than you at everything."_

_Her words frustrated him and he momentarily lost sight of where he was going. He tripped over something on the ground and fell. She was on him in an instant. Rolling over he started to back away from the approaching dragon. It grinned menacingly at him and spoke again, "Your time is up Prince Zuko. I am tired of playing with you. It's time to join Mother forever!"_

_The dragon prepared to strike when suddenly a man appeared between him and the beast. He was a very old man with skin that was darkened and weathered from constant exposure to the sun. His head was bald he had a huge white beard. Zuko couldn't see his face as the old man's back was to him._

_When he spoke it was with a calm authority. "You will not harm this boy."_

_The dragon laughed menacingly at the man. "And who is going to stop me – you!"_

_He made no reply. The dragon became angry at the man's lack of fear and drew its head back ready to release a blast of flames. Zuko covered his head with his arms and turned away. As the dragon released its breath he could feel the heat fill the tunnel. When the blast ended he was amazed that he was still alive but even more amazing was that the old man was standing still in the same place as before completely untouched by the flames._

_The dragon became enraged. "Impossible!" It yelled at the man._

_The old man never flinched. He calmly stated, "You should leave now."_

_The dragon let out a howl and then in a great explosion of blue fire disappeared. _

_The old man then turned to Zuko and smiled. "I have been waiting for you." _

_Zuko looked at him in confusion, "But I don't know you."_

_The man responded, "We have much work to do. Work you began in Ba Sing Se. Work that you thought you had finished. We will see each other soon and then you will have a chance to redeem yourself; a chance to put your past behind you so that you can truly fulfill your destiny."_

_With that the man disappeared. Zuko found himself alone in the tunnel when suddenly the walls were gone and he was floating in the open sky. Ahead of him he could see a group of buildings that he knew were one of the Air Temples. Though how he knew was a mystery since he had never seen one before. As he stared at the temple he heard the old man's voice call to him. _

"_Soon; soon we will meet and then you will face your toughest decision yet, whether to live as you are or become who you were born to be."_

_He felt himself falling at that point and let out a scream. He landed on something soft and furry. Beside him came a voice, "It's ok Prince Zuko, you are safe."_

Opening his eyes he saw his uncle. The old man smiled at him. With the dream still fresh in his mind he said, "I have to go to an air temple. Someone is waiting for me."

His uncle looked over his head in the direction of another. Turning he saw Katara. She had an odd expression on her face. Their eyes met and held momentarily before she looked away. The looked from earlier was replaced with one of hostility.

Thinking back to the old man's words from the dream he knew that he could not live as he was. He no longer wanted to be viewed with loathing and disgust. He wanted to be free of his past. Most of all he wanted Katara to look at him with the tenderness in her gaze that she had shown him in the cave in Ba Sing Se.

He closed his eyes and rested. He was so tired. He would sleep for now. Soon he would meet the old man and then he would complete what he started in Ba Sing Se.

**A.N.** Thanks to all who have reviewed this story. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will try to write soon. I came up with the idea after the season finale. I think Zuko would benefit greatly from a little personal time with the guru so hence the story.

I think that in my story he realizes what Katara was offering in the cave and desires that closeness. Unfortunately she is still too wounded in her heart to accept him **_yet._**

Please let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 3 The Long Road Ahead

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**The Long Road Ahead**

**The Eastern Air Temple loomed in the distance**. The sight was magnificent and Katara thought that it must have been absolutely splendid a hundred years ago before the Fire Nation attacked it. She was amazed by its size. The Southern Air Temple seemed small in comparison. She knew little of this temple only that Aang lived here as a small boy and that this is where he received Appa.

She looked to Iroh and saw that he was staring in awe of the temple as well. Apparently he had never seen one before. The attacks by the Fire Nation were way before his time. She could tell that aside from his worry about his nephew's health Iroh was excited about this trip. She gathered that he had an appreciation for the all the elements and this was something that he longed to see.

"We're almost there." Aang yelled from atop Appa's head. "I'll land in the main court yard and then we can find shelter and set up camp. Guru Pathik should be somewhere on the grounds. I'm sure though that he will find us before we can find him."

She knew Aang was eager to see this Guru again. She guessed that they had much to discuss. Though she had brought Aang back to life they were both a little anxious to know if the Avatar cycle had been broken or if Aang would ever be able to reach the Avatar state again. She hoped that this Guru had the answers.

She looked down at Zuko. He had fallen back into his fevered sleep after waking briefly from his nightmare earlier. His waking words still haunted her. He had mentioned needing to go to the air temple and that a man was waiting for him there. Could it have been a vision that he had had. Did Guru Pathik really intend to meet with Zuko as well? Part of her wanted to believe it but another part of her felt that Zuko must have heard her and Aang talking last night and his fevered brain made up the story as a result. Either way they would know soon enough.

Aang brought Appa down gently and they slowly made their way from the beast. Katara pulled Zuko from the bison's back and laid him on a mat that Iroh had prepared. Once he was settled they unpacked the rest of their meager supplies. Aang had gone off into a building that looked like stables and then came back to report that the roof was intact and that it would make a good shelter. They could easily light a fire without worry about the smoke and the high ceilings would help to keep them cool during the heat of the day.

They relocated their belongings along with Zuko to one of the stalls within the stable. It was very roomy and they would all fit well inside. When the task was completed Iroh went about starting a fire and took out some more of the Huang Qi root to brew some more tea for Zuko. Katara arranged their sleeping mats and took out some food to make a simple meal. Tomorrow she would have to scavenge the grounds to look for suitable things to eat.

Once Iroh had the tea brewed he asked her to help him with Zuko. This time Iroh decided to prop the prince up and let her give him the tea. From behind he called to his nephew. Zuko started to stir and then opened his eyes. He looked at her with a puzzled expression and then said, "You're still here."

"Well I've got no where else to go." She replied coldly.

"I thought you were a dream." He responded and then asked, "Where is my uncle?"

"Right behind you Zuko." The old man said gently. "Katara has some more tea for you to drink."

"No more tea." He stated emphatically. "That stuff earlier was horrible."

"Well that horrible stuff is keeping you alive." She said with agitation in her voice. "You have an infection. Without this tea you won't be able to fight it properly."

"I don't want any." He whined.

"If you don't take it you could die." Zuko simply turned away at that statement. Infuriated she said, "I didn't go through all the trouble to heal your sorry ass just so that you could give up and die. You need to drink this tea."

He turned and glared at her. "I didn't ask you to heal me."

"No but I did." Iroh interjected. "And believe me she was not too willing to help. Yet in the end she agreed. Katara saved your life."

"You should have let me die." He responded bitterly.

"Such words of despair from one so young." Came an unfamiliar voice from behind them.

They all turned to look at the person who had voiced the comment. Before them stood the oldest man that Katara had ever seen. He was bald like Aang but had a long, flowing, white beard that encompassed most of his face. His eyes spoke of much wisdom but also of kindness. She felt a certain sense of calm just by looking at him.

"Guru Pathik!" Aang exclaimed as he jumped up and ran over to the old man. "I was hoping you would find us."

"Ah Aang my young student, I see you have made your way back to me. Though I sense that things are not as they should be. We have some unfinished business to attend to, do we not?" The Guru said.

Aang bowed his head and said quietly, "I should have listened to you. Now I need to set things right."

The old man rubbed Aang's bald head and said, "It's alright young avatar. We shall discuss it all. But first I want to meet your companions." He looked at them with interest.

As his gaze fell on her Aang said, "This is Katara."

"Ah Katara the water bender. Yes I have heard much about you. You possess a true strength that is sorely lacking in most people today. You have done well keeping your friends together."

She blushed at his remarks and said simply, 'Thank you."

He then turned to Iroh. Aang spoke up and said, "This is General Iroh. He is going to teach me how to fire bend."

The guru bowed to the old man and said to Aang, "I am glad to see that you are embracing all aspects of your abilities. It is good to see that you have chosen so wisely in your teacher." He then spoke to Iroh, "I sense that you have a true appreciation for all the elements. Maybe in time you too could be a guru."

Iroh chuckled at that statement and said, "As much as that holds a certain appeal to me I have other responsibilities at the present time."

With that the guru looked to Zuko and then nodding said, "Yes, yes you do."

Katara noticed that Zuko sat there completely still. His expression was one of shock and possibly fear. Though she couldn't understand why he would be afraid of this gentle old man.

The guru continued to gaze at him and finally said, "So I see that you too have made it here, young prince. Have you given any thought to my offer?"

Katara felt a little light headed at that statement. She had wanted to believe that Zuko had been hallucinating earlier but the guru's words proved otherwise. Zuko too had a weird expression on his face she noticed. Maybe he had doubted the validity of his vision as well.

When he replied he sounded far away like he was caught up in his dream again, "I have given it thought. I accept your offer. I want to finish what I started in Ba Sing Se. But this time I want to do it right."

She wondered what that was about when the guru responded, "Then I do not want to hear any more self pitying statements like the one earlier. Listen to your uncle and Katara. It is the only way to mend your body." Zuko grimaced and the guru continued with a little more authority in his voice, "The task ahead will be a difficult one. It will require that you are strong physically so that you can heal spiritually. The toll it will take on your body will be tremendous. You must be ready and the only way to do that will be to follow the instructions of your healer. You owe her that much for saving your life."

Now it was her turn to make a face. She did not want Zuko to feel indebted to her. In fact she wanted nothing more than to be free of him. The feelings he caused within her were too confusing. The sooner he was gone the better.

The guru turned back to Aang and said, "Are you ready my friend? We have much to do."

Aang nodded and bowed. The guru smiled and then placed his arm around her friend. Slowly they walked off to another location within the temple. She hoped that Aang would find the answers that he needed. She hoped that he would be able to tell him if the cycle was truly broken or if the waters from the Spirit Oasis heal the rift as well as his body.

**Zuko lay propped against his uncle's chest**. He followed Katara's gaze as she watched her friend leave. The love in her expression tore at his heart and stirred that familiar jealousy that he had for the Avatar. He wished that she would look at him with just an ounce of that affection but he had killed any chance of that back in Ba Sing Se. She would never forgive him for what he had done and he honestly couldn't blame her.

As she turned back to him her gaze became hard again. Holding up the tea cup from earlier she said simply, "Well you heard the guru, you've got to do as I say." This brought a small smirk to her lips. "You know this actually could be fun." Then pushing the cup forward she said, "Drink up Prince Zuko."

He could feel the rumble of laughter start in his uncle's chest as his own mood turned sour. No matter how badly he felt for what he had done before, there was still a part of him that could not stomach taking orders from her. He glared at her with contempt in his eyes. This only made her smile more. Apparently he was giving her just what she wanted. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath and exhaled. Gaining a little more control he braced himself for the bitter medicine.

She brought the cup to his lips and he reluctantly drank the noxious mixture. Gagging on the brew he had to stop frequently to keep it down. Finally he managed to finish the tea. He sat back against his uncle; the strain of the simple act had exhausted him.

"I'm tired." He stated.

"Then you should rest." His uncle replied. He helped him back to his mat and Zuko closed his eyes. Sleep quickly overtook him.

When he awoke again the sun was beginning to set in the sky. He could smell a meal cooking on the fire and almost on cue his stomach started to growl. He scanned his surroundings and couldn't see his uncle anywhere. The old man must have gone off exploring the temple. He then focused his gaze in the direction of the fire and noticed Katara sitting there quietly stirring the pot of food. Her face was calm and serene and he lay silently looking at her. All those months he had spent chasing her and her friends he had never really given her much thought aside from the fact that she had become a very worthy opponent. She had grown a lot in her abilities since he had first come across her in the South Pole.

In fact it wasn't until he was trapped with her in the cave beneath Ba Sing Se that he had even looked at her as something more than the Avatar's friend. She had been so angry at first, yelling at him and blaming him for all of her troubles. Then she had done something he hadn't expected; she had cried. He found himself at a loss at the sight of her tears. She was grieving for her mother. That was something that he could understand. He had lost his mother too and the grief clung to him like a second skin. Not a day went by that he didn't think of her or miss her. He confided this to her and in that moment he could see all the walls that she had constructed between them start to crumble. He guessed that she had never really viewed him as much more then her enemy and the discovery that he too suffered loss seemed to bond them.

After that they had talked and she had offered to heal his scar. He wanted to desperately believe that she could do it so he let her try. Of course before she could begin his uncle and the Avatar had appeared. As soon as her friend appeared he was forgotten. He felt so much anger at that moment and he wanted nothing more than to attack the monk where he stood but his uncle had held him back. Katara left with the Avatar and he was left with his uncle and a monumental choice.

When he had caught up to Katara and the Avatar as they fought with Azula he still hadn't quite made up his mind yet as to what to do. But when he saw them it was as if something snapped within his brain. His hatred for the boy overwhelmed him and his need to prove himself to his father once again blinded him in his decision. He chose to fight with Azula. Hardening his heart he cast aside everything he had found in that cave with Katara. The pain of that combined with his betrayal of his uncle haunted him ever since. If he could do it all over again he would change his actions but he didn't have that luxury and now he had to live with his decision for the rest of his life.

As he continued to stare at her she looked up and locked eyes with him. He felt his face flush from the embarrassment of being caught. Her serene expression from moments before evaporated and she once again viewed him with disdain.

"So you're finally awake." She stated. He remained silent and she continued, "Would you like something to eat? It's just a simple stew made from vegetables but it should fill you up."

"Food would be nice." He replied.

She set about scooping some of the stew into a bowl. She then approached him and set the bowl next to him on the ground. "I guess you're still too weak to sit up on your own?" she asked.

He bristled at the question. He hated being weak and he felt that she thoroughly enjoyed his predicament. He would love nothing more than to prove her wrong but he honestly didn't have the strength to do it. He quietly replied, "I could use your help."

Working together they managed to get him up and she propped him against a wall near his mat. Facing him she lifted the bowl of stew and prepared a spoonful for him. It bothered him to be so dependant on her but he had no choice. Opening his mouth he let her feed him the meal. For such simple fare it tasted very good. "This isn't that bad." He stated.

"Well I'm sure it's nothing like the food you're used to, growing up in a palace and all." She shot back.

"It's been a long time since I've eaten food like that. In fact for the last few months I've had to eat whatever I could forage in the woods."

She remained silent at that remark and continued to feed him. When she spoke again it was whisper soft. "I guess things have really changed for you and your uncle."

"They have." He simply replied. Once again they grew silent.

After he had finished eating she spoke again, "Why does the guru want to see you? You said that you wanted to finish what you started in Ba Sing Se. What does that mean?"

"A few weeks ago I developed a fever. It was some type of spiritual illness. My uncle said it had to do with a critical decision that I had made. I was faced with a choice. I guess I chose wrong. The guru has offered me a chance to redeem myself. A chance to resume that spiritual journey and follow my destiny."

"I guess he's putting a lot of faith in you. Hopefully you won't turn on him like you did your uncle." She replied.

He grew silent at her remark. It still hurt him to think back to what he had done to his uncle but he didn't like having it thrown in his face by her. When he finally spoke his voice was cold, "You know I made a mistake in Ba Sing Se. I regret it very much but I can't change what I did. The guru is offering me a chance to figure things out and I am not going to turn him down. I am tired of being scorned all my life. I'm ready to face my demons and put them to rest. So why don't you just back off and let me be."

She drew in a sharp breath and her face turned red with rage. "I'd love to back off but I'm stuck with the job of babysitting you while you recover!"

"I never asked you to baby sit me. Believe me the last thing I need right now is you in my face reminding me of what a horrible person I am."

She grew silent at that and looked away. He had no idea what she was thinking after his outburst and he really didn't want to find out. Slowly she stood from her place next to him. She took his bowl and walked back over to the fire. Sitting down she began to stir the pot.

Her silence began to wear on him and he regretted yelling at her. Looking at her he saw that her eyes were glazed over and he realized that he had been unfairly harsh with her. She was angry and justifiably so. He wanted to make things right but he had no clue as to how to do it.

"Katara." He called out to her. She continued on stirring the pot; her head down. "Katara, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. You saved my life when you didn't have to and you nursed me to health when you really didn't want too and I have shown you nothing but ingratitude."

She finally looked up at him. A single tear rolled down her face and she quickly wiped it away. "I hate you for what you did to me and to Aang. I don't think that I will ever forgive you. So save me your apologies and leave me be."

Her words stung. The shame that he had been living with for the past week overwhelmed him and he found it hard to breath. He had truly messed up and he wondered if even this guru was going to be able to fix the damage that he had done.

**A.N.** I hope Katara doesn't come off too harsh but I think that it's going to take her some time to get over her friend being killed in front of her. Zuko's going to really have to be patient.

I honestly have no idea where the series is going with the whole Avatar cycle so I will have to make a guess and hope it sounds believable.

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please let me know. Your imput really does help me in my writing.


	5. Chapter 4 Letting Go

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**Letting Go**

**It had been almost three days since they had arrived at the Eastern Air Temple before Aang returned from his visit with Guru Pathik**. Katara had been anxious the whole time he was away. Anything could have happened to him. He was still weakened from his battle with Azula and the wound on his back had yet to heal completely. Having him away from her watchful eyes was very difficult for her to deal with.

Of course she also had Zuko and Iroh to contend with while he was gone. The old general wasn't so bad; in fact she rather enjoyed his company. It was the prince who had her agitated. After their argument the first night at the air temple neither one had much to say to the other. He spent most of his time sleeping and eating. She preferred it that way since she had no desire to spend any time with him. His angry words the other night had stung but it was her response to him that upset her the most. When she was around him she became a different person. She felt uncomfortable with the rage he created in her. It bothered her to hate someone so much. Holding a grudge was nothing new to her but to hate another person as much as she hated Zuko was overwhelming and just a little bit frightening. Part of her hoped that he truly would change with the guru's help. At least then she might be able to let some of this bitterness go before it completely consumed her. Another part of her though wanted to see her feelings justified. Wanted the world to see that he was still a jerk and would never change. These conflicting desires were driving her crazy and she was glad to have Aang back to add a little balance and comfort to her new life.

But as Aang approached her that morning she knew that things were not going to return to any semblance of order like she had before. Her friend looked tired, which was to be expected, but he also seemed older; like he had aged years internally while he was away. When he drew closer she stood and smiling at him opened her arms and embraced him.

"I'm so glad you're back Aang." She said as she held him close. "Is everything alright?"

He pulled away and gave her an odd look and then said, "I've come to an understanding of my future and my destiny." He then looked around at Zuko's sleeping form and Iroh busy making tea and continued, "Maybe we could go somewhere else and talk for a while."

"Sure Aang, whatever you say." She answered growing a little nervous by his withdrawn air.

They walked away from the stables and out into the morning sunshine. Aang remained quiet for some time and she left him alone waiting for him to feel comfortable enough to talk. After a few minutes they came to a spot that overlooked the mountains that surrounded the temple. The drop from this point was frightening but the view was spectacular. She could never grow tired of the beauty of this place and she could see how the Air Nomads could spend their lives here in quiet contemplation.

Aang stopped walking and turned to face the view. Looking out over the mountains he began to speak. "Katara I have not been completely honest with you about my last visit to this temple." He grew quiet, gathering his courage and then continued, "When I started my journey with Guru Pathik I understood that I had to open all seven chakras in order to tap into the Avatar State whenever I wanted to. If I did not complete all seven I would not be able to access the Avatar State at all. I agreed to that but in the end I left before I completely finished what I had started."

She looked at him as he gazed into the distance and asked, "Why? Why did you leave if you knew it would jeopardize what you had started?"

"I was having difficulty with the last chakra, the thought chakra. In order to tap into the energy of the cosmos I had to let go of all my earthly attachments. As a monk I had no problem with that. After all I had learned to do without material possessions from an early age, but there was one thing, or more precisely person, that I was not prepared to give up." He turned to her at that point and his expression was so weary that it broke her heart. "Katara, I couldn't let go of my feelings for you."

She gasped at that declaration and said in a quiet voice, "Your attachment to me. Why should you have to abandon our friendship?"

He looked at her for a moment before answering. "It wasn't friendship that I wanted. Not deep down in my heart. Katara I have had feelings for you that go way beyond friendship. I have loved you for a long time; maybe since we first met. I didn't want to let go of those feelings and I hoped that you felt the same way for me. Because of that I couldn't open the last chakra."

She stood there stunned by what he had said. They had always been close and she did love Aang but things were so crazy right now that she had never thought of him in any other way than just her friend, her best friend but still just a friend. She had had feelings for Jet and even though she hated to think back on it she had had feelings for Zuko as well, though those were very fleeting. In fact other than after her reading with Madam Wu she hadn't really entertained romantic thoughts about Aang. But here he had been harboring feelings for her all this time.

"Aang, I don't know what to say…"

"You don't have to say anything." He cut her off. "I know now that I couldn't fulfill my destiny if I didn't let you go. In fact I even tried before I left the first time to let go but as I began to tap into the cosmic power I had a vision of you in trouble and I couldn't stay. I couldn't let you go and I couldn't connect. I left the air temple to return to Ba Sing Se and because of that I put my future as Avatar at risk."

That statement hit her like a blow to the gut and suddenly she found it hard to breath. Everything that had happened beneath Ba Sing Se was her fault. He had risked his life for her and had paid a high price because of it.

Aang continued talking, "When we were at the height of the battle with Zuko and Azula I realized that I had to let you go. Faced with that many Dai Li I knew that we could never win the battle unless I could access the Avatar State. So I let you go and I connected with the energy of the cosmos."

"And then Azula shot you down with lightening." She simply stated.

"Yes, she did. If you hadn't healed me with the water from the Spirit Oasis I would have died and the Avatar Cycle would have been broken." He gazed deepened as he started into her eyes. "Katara, you saved the world that night. You kept the Avatar Cycle from ending."

"But it was my fault that you returned."

"No Katara it wasn't. I came back on my own free will. You are not to blame for what happened."

Tears started to stream down her face as she asked, "So can you still connect with the Avatar State? Can you access your past lives? Is the cycle still unbroken?"

He turned and gazed back out at the mountains in the distance. "Yes I can still connect to the Avatar State. Guru Pathik and I worked to reopen the chakras that I had closed by leaving before. I was able to connect to the cosmic energy around us but the Avatar State itself has been greatly weakened. My ability to connect with my past lives has been damaged and I need to repair it."

"But how do you do that?' she asked.

"Through meditation and contact with the spirit world. I need to center myself again to mend the pathways to my past lives. I need to start over again and let go of everything that ties me to this earthly plane. I have already managed to reestablish my link with Avatar Roku. As my spiritual guide he will help me to repair the link and fix the cycle completely."

"So by letting go do you mean letting go of our friendship?" She asked afraid of his answer.

He turned back to her and said, "No Katara we can still be friends. I just had to let go of my affections for you. I need to let you go as well. Our destinies are intertwined but it was never meant for you and me to be anything more than close friends. There is someone else for you. A powerful bender, as Aunt Wu predicted. Your true destiny lies with him, not with me."

"How do you know all of this?"

"I have had glimpses of the future. In order to understand my destiny I had to see yours."

"So you know who this person is?"

He looked away again and replied, "Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you. Life should be lived in the moment. Nothing is ever certain and you may not embrace your future as you are now. You must grow with it. When the future becomes the present you will be ready for it and you will accept it."

She stared at him completely perplexed. What he was saying to her was more than she was ready to hear. Suddenly she felt like a small child. He had gained so much insight while he was away. That knowledge had aged him well beyond his twelve years and she felt saddened by that. Her carefree friend was gone and she wondered if he would ever return.

They stood in silence for quite some time when Aang finally spoke again. "For the next few weeks I will spend my time either training with Iroh or meditating on my own. I won't see you that much except to eat and sleep." As he noticed her tears he continued, "Katara this is really for the best, for both of us. I need to be focused and you need to heal. That past few months has been very hard for you. This temple is the perfect place to renew your spirit and embrace your future."

With that he reached out and hugged her. She clung to him tightly already feeling alone. All the people she loved were now separated from her. She was on her own in this strange new place and she was afraid.

"Katara," he whispered to her, "Don't close your mind to all possibilities. Life as we knew it is gone but if you open yourself to it, the future could be even better."

She smiled at him with a confidence that she didn't feel. He was leaving her and she wasn't ready for that. She needed him and regardless of what he said she was not ready to embrace her future with someone else. The next month loomed ahead of her like some dark nightmare and she wondered if she would recognize the world when she awoke.

**Zuko awoke to find Katara gone and his uncle sitting by the fire drinking tea**. He felt better physically than he had in days and he wondered when he would start this journey with the guru. He was eager to begin. The last three days with Katara had been very uncomfortable and he wanted nothing more than to escape from her condemning glare. Maybe time away from her would help them both to calm down and relax. It was something to hope for even if he didn't feel confident that it would happen.

He sat up and turned to his uncle. The old man smiled at him and said simply, "The Avatar has returned."

"When?" he asked.

"This morning while you were sleeping. He went off with Katara to talk. They've been gone for some time now."

So the Avatar was back. It was just a matter of time before the guru would come for him. For the first time in years he found himself thinking about something other than capturing the boy. In fact the desire to return him to his father was almost nonexistent next to his need to redeem himself.

"Have you seen Guru Pathik?" He asked.

His uncle smiled and replied, "Aang returned on his own but I am sure the guru will be here soon."

As if on cue the old man came walking towards them. He had a warm smile on his face that made Zuko feel at ease. "So young prince I see you are feeling better." Zuko simply nodded at the man. "Are you ready to start down the road to your true destiny?"

Finding his voice he said, "Yes I am."

The Guru smiled even more and said, "The road you must take will not be easy. You will have to face many truths about yourself and your life that will be very painful. But if you stick with it the results will be well worth the cost."

"I understand." He replied and got up to his feet. "Can we start now?"

Both Iroh and the Guru laughed at his eagerness. "I guess that now is the time then. Let us go."

Iroh stood and approached Zuko. Opening his arms he embraced him in a tight hug. "Take care nephew."

With that simple statement he let go of him and walked back over to his tea pot. Zuko turned and quietly followed the Guru. He was surprised to find that he was still tired from his illness and even the simple task of walking left him winded. Guru Pathik seemed to take this in and stopped. Searching some bushes he pulled out a large stick.

"Here, why don't you lean on this as you walk? It won't do you any good if you collapse from exhaustion before we even begin."

Zuko gratefully took the walking stick and they continued on in silence. After some time the old man spoke. "Have you ever heard of chakras, Prince Zuko?"

He contemplated that for a moment and then replied, "Doesn't it have something to do with energy within your body."

"Ah I see that you have a little better knowledge than the Avatar. This is good. And yes it does have to do with energy within your body. The chakras act like a wheel. They spin and draw in the life force energy of the universe to keep the spiritual, mental, emotional and physical health of the body in balance. When they become blocked by negative energy within our lives they cannot function properly and you lose your stability."

You have seven chakras and you must work your way through each one, purging them of the forces that keep them closed. When you have opened them all you will be able to unite yourself to the Cosmic Forces within the Universe and your mind, body, emotions and spirit will be in complete balance. At that point you will understand your destiny and you will posses the ability to fulfill it.

Of course once you start your journey you cannot stop. Each chakra must be opened in order from the base of your spine to the crown of your head. If you stop for any reason you will remain blocked."

Zuko thought about all of this. He was willing to do what it took to change his life. "I understand." He replied.

"There is one more thing," Guru Pathik said. "Your ability to fire bend has been sorely compromised by the battle going on within you. As you begin to unlock your chakras you will slowly gain back your abilities but until you complete this journey you will never possess the ability to bend with any great strength. Who you are and what you are capable of doing depend entirely on finishing this task."

Zuko felt as if he had no choice. His bending was already compromised. He had felt that in Ba Sing Se when he agreed to return Uncle to the Fire Nation. If he didn't repair the damage to his chakra he would lose whatever he had left.

"I want to do this. Please."

The guru stopped walking. Zuko noticed that they were in a large room decorated with images of all the different bending arts. The guru turned to him and simply said, "Then let us begin."

**A.N.** I hope you enjoyed this chapter. From here out it will follow a pretty predictable pattern - to a degree because Zuko and Katara will also spend time interacting.

Just a side note - This story is purely fictional and as such I need to say that I don't adhere to the eastern philosophies presented here as anything more than philosophies. I personally believe that the path to "enlightenment" lies with God not self. And from what I understand for some that is the goal of opening the chakras - a sense of communion with a greater power or God. Because this story is set within this culture and their beliefs I hope to present it as accurately as I can and so I will research the subject in the effort to do so. I believe that the charcters within this story are all very spiritual in their natures and each one is on a journey that will truely challange them.

That said I look forward to writing the next chapters when I find the time. Just out of curiosity I would love input as to what you all perceive as Zuko's various 'blocks'. I have an idea for guilt but would always welcome feed back as the lines between guilt and shame seem a little blurred.

Thanks again for the reviews.


	6. Chapter 5 The Earth Chakra

_I would like to credit Avatar Spirit for all phrases that are italicized. (I felt it best to go strictly from the text of the show when using actual words in flashbacks.)_

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**The Earth Chakra**

Zuko took a meditative pose and tried to relax. His mind was racing with so many thoughts and he found it hard to focus on the task at hand. Guru Pathik also sat down and after a few moments spoke.

"The first chakra that you are going to open is the Earth Chakra. It is located at the base of your spine. This chakra will draw down spiritual energy and cause it to assume a physical form. Within this lies a great spiritual potential waiting to be awakened. This is the energy that will travel from your root and up through your body as you open the various chakras. Once you begin this journey it could become dangerous for you to stop for any long period of time. Because of your recent illness I think it will be best to take time to rest between the various chakras but never for too long. You must finish what you start and you must stay focused to the task at hand."

Zuko nodded his head in understanding and the Guru continued. "This chakra deals with security and survival. The things that we fear tend to block this chakra. I want you to search yourself. Seek out what it is that you fear."

Zuko closed his eyes and tried to focus. He sat for some time trying to let go of all the thoughts swirling through his mind. Let go, he kept reminding himself. Clear your mind. Focus on your fears. Suddenly images began to take form and he could see them play out as if they were just occurring for the first time.

He was back in the Fire Nation. Once again he and his family were called before his grandfather. Azula had demonstrated her newest fire bending techniques. He could hear her taunting him.

_"You'll never catch up!"_

He could see himself practicing hours at a time but he knew that she was right. He would never catch up. He would never be as good as her. This understanding caused him great anxiety. What if he wasn't good enough? What if his father wasn't confident enough in Zuko's abilities to name him the next Fire Lord?

He could remember his father's face every time he tried and failed. That disappointment stung but it also made him feel afraid. He never knew for sure where he stood with his father.

Once again Azula's voice came back to taunt him.

_"Dad's going to kill you… really he is… Grandfather said dad's punishment should fit his crime. 'You must know the pain of losing a first born son, by sacrificing your own!'_

He remembered calling her a liar but deep in his heart he doubted his convictions. Could his grandfather make such a request and more so would his own father carry it out? The fact that he had to question that was scary in itself. A parent was supposed to protect you but his father wasn't such a protector. Zuko always felt that one misstep could prove fatal where his father was concerned.

He did fear Fire Lord Ozai. He feared him in a way that went way beyond a respect for his father's authority and position as a disciplinarian. He feared for his life and he knew that if he didn't do everything just right his father would come down on him harshly.

He had proved that at the agni kai that had changed Zuko's life forever. If his father could carry through on such an attack there was no doubt in Zuko's mind that he would also carry through on a death sentence if he felt warranted in his actions.

Still for all that he feared his father there was a part of him that knew that if he had to face him again he would at least have a chance in the fight. He had learned a lot from his uncle during his years in exile. Iroh was a true master and Zuko suspected that the old man was even more powerful than Azula. Having his uncle as a teacher had definitely given him an edge that he had not had three years before.

But even with that edge he felt deep in his heart that he was not as good as Azula and that he may never be. She had a ruthlessness to her that he had never experienced in another human being. She cared for no one except herself. People were nothing more than pawns to be used to further her needs and desires. And one thing he knew that she desired was the throne; his throne. Azula had always believed herself to be superior to him. She was a better bender and she assumed she would be a better leader as well.

His banishment had given her a way to the throne that she had never had before. Of course the existence of the Avatar had changed all of that for her. It became clear when she found him after the battle at the North Pole that she would stop at nothing to keep him from returning home with his honor. If uncle had not interfered she would have killed him.

Suddenly the image of her standing above him on the deck to her ship came into his vision. He could feel the paralyzing fear that gripped him as she went through the motions to create lightning. She was going to kill him and he was too afraid to react.

That realization struck him hard. She could kill him and she would kill him if he didn't watch his back. Unlike her father, Azula had a good reason to want to see him dead. He stood between her and the Throne to the Fire Nation. If he died, especially as a traitor, she would inherit everything.

It became apparent to him at that moment why he had sided with her beneath the city in Ba Sing Se. He feared her and he feared that she would kill him. If he sided with the Avatar and lost he would be forever remembered as a traitor to the Fire Nation. She had played to those fears moments before the fight.

_I expected this kind of treachery from Uncle, but Zuko, Prince Zuko...you're a lot of things, but you're not a traitor, are you?_

And then she left him to decide for himself. Side with uncle and join the Avatar or follow her and redeem himself. Like he really had a choice. Of course at that time he thought he did. He left that cave ready to take her on but when her saw her and saw the Avatar the old fears returned. So many emotions coursed through him but he knew that it was fear of her that finally swayed his decision. He couldn't afford to lose. He couldn't take the risk that he would die in shame.

So he had fought by her side. He turned his back on his uncle and joined Azula. She had manipulated him again. She had told him what she knew he needed to hear to side with her and he had fallen for it. But that was the way she was. She had a way about her, a charisma, that swayed people to whatever cause she was fighting for. And her greatest cause was furthering her own ambitions. Of course the one person who stood in her way was himself. He knew in his heart that she would do everything in her power to keep him from the throne. Even kill him.

But he couldn't defeat her. Her old taunts from their childhood came back to haunt him. He would never catch up. He would never be good enough. She would always be the superior of the two and she would always have father's approval.

"I will never be as good as Azula." The sound of his voice startled him back to the present. He had not realized that he was speaking aloud. He opened his eyes and stared at Guru Pathik.

The old man stared back and spoke softly, "You should not measure yourself against others. Your strengths and weaknesses are unique to you alone. You must use those strengths to your advantage as well as recognize your weaknesses so that you can compensate for them."

"But Azula is a prodigy. She has a confidence about her that I will never possess."

"Your beliefs in your own abilities with grow stronger as you open your chakras. But for now you must face your fears. You must understand that though they are grounded in some truth you are letting them cloud how you see the world. You are letting your fears control you and influence your decisions."

"But Azula wants to kill me. She has tried it before and I know that she will try it again."

"Your fear for your survival is a natural instinct. She poses a threat to you but if you let your fear continue unchecked it will soon overwhelm you and in the end it will keep you from defending yourself. As long as you hold onto it she will always control you and she will eventually succeed in killing you. You must let it go. You must surrender those fears so that you can live."

Zuko closed his eyes again and thought of what the guru had said. He knew that the old man was right. He must let go. He sat for sometime in meditation over all he had learned. After some time a vision began to form in his mind. Once again he was back under Ba Sing Se. The Blue Dragon was chasing him. Like before he found himself cornered. He turned and faced the dragon. It grinned at him and prepared to strike. Suddenly a calm came over him and he looked the dragon in the eyes and smiled.

"You can't harm me. I'm not afraid of you anymore. You have no power over me." He said confidently. The Blue Dragon reared up and let out a roar. He could feel the heat of its breath on his face but he stood firm. The dragon howled in anger and then vanished.

Zuko opened his eyes with a start. He could feel a tingling at the base of his spine as an energy that he had not felt before began to uncoil. He looked at the guru in confusion and the old man smiled.

"It would seem Prince Zuko that you have opened the Earth Chakra."

He felt himself smiling weakly. He had done it! Still even though he could feel the energy in his body he was surprised at how tired he was. He gazed about and noticed the shadows on the walls around him. The sun was setting. He had lost all track of time while he had been meditating. The day had flown by in what seemed like a matter of minutes.

"We should return to your camp so that you can rest." Guru Pathik said. "Tomorrow we will continue."

Zuko nodded and started to rise to his feet. He was stiff from sitting so long and walking was a little difficult. Leaning on his walking stick from earlier he slowly made his way back to camp.

**A.N.** I would like to thank all who replied to my request for information but I would like to extend a special thanks and acknowledgement to Wren Sharpbeak for all of her help with the different chakras. Her information and insights were great! I look forward to applying them more as future chapters unfold.

I would also like to say that for the purpose of this story Zuko will not open all his chakras in one fell swoop from start to finish. I plan for him and Katara to interact as he begins to change. I have used the excuse of his illness to play into that.

I hope that you enjoy the chapter. I am keeping these chapters short so that I can update quicker. I have taken on another creative project that should be completed in nine months - but unfortunately the first three months leave me completely exhausted and nauseated! It should pass within the next few weeks and then I can get back to my normal writing routine.

As always please let me know what you think of the story. Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 6 Bitter Sweet Dreams

_I do not own Avatar or any of it characters._

**Bitter Sweet Dreams**

**Katara sat by the fire preparing the evening meal**. She had been alone for some time now. Iroh and Aang had been gone for most of the afternoon and Zuko had left earlier in the morning. She hadn't minded the solitude but now that the sun was starting to set she began to feel a slight bit uneasy. The air temple was a beautiful place during the day but at night her mind began to dwell on what had happened here one hundred years ago and she began to get scared. She wished that someone would join her soon. Almost as if in response to her request she heard the sound of someone approaching. Looking up she saw Zuko coming her way. His footsteps were heavy and he was leaning on a walking stick for support. He looked exhausted but on closer examination she noticed something else. He seemed more confident than when she had seen him last. It was if he had regained a little of his spark that he had lost since Ba Sing Se. As he drew closer to camp both he and Guru Pathik stopped walking and looked at her.

"Good evening Katara. I see that everyone has left you alone to enjoy the beauty of this temple." The guru said pleasantly.

"Aang and Iroh left after lunch to begin lessons on fire bending." She replied.

"Ah, that is good. That is good." He then turned to Zuko and said, "I will see you again tomorrow. Get your rest so that you will be prepared." With that he bowed at the prince and Zuko did the same in return. The guru then left and Zuko stumbled over to his mat.

He lay there on his back with his eyes closed taking in deep breaths. His face looked flushed and she instinctively got up and went to his side. Kneeling down she put the back of her hand to his forehead to check for a fever. As her skin made contact with his he opened his eyes and grabbed her hand.

"What are you doing?" he asked startled.

"You looked flushed. I was checking to see if your fever had returned."

He released her hand and sat up. "I'm just tired. It's been a long day."

"Well maybe you should eat something and then get some sleep." She ladled out some stew for him and brought him the bowl. He took it and thanked her. As she returned to her place by the fire she said, "I should brew some more tea for you as well. You really should keep drinking it until you completely get your strength back."

"If that tea is your way of getting back at me for all the rotten things that I've done to you in the past then you are succeeding." He said.

She couldn't help but smile at that remark. She looked up at him and noticed that he was smiling as well. The intimacy of the moment made her blush and she quickly turned away. They sat in silence until the tea was ready. She poured him a cup and offered it to him. Grimacing he took the drink and finished it quickly. Handing the cup back to her he lay back down on his mat.

"I don't mean to be rude," he said, "But I'm exhausted." As if to prove his point he let out a big yawn.

"You should sleep. I'll be ok."

She had barely said the words when she noticed that his breathing had evened out and he was fast asleep. She went back to her earlier place by the fire and sat back down to eat her meal. As she ate the stew she thought back over what had just transpired between them. This evening had been the first civil conversation that they had had since their time alone in the cave beneath Ba Sing Se. Not that they had said much. Still she was surprised by how easy it had been and she wondered what had happened to the hostility that she had been feeling for the past week.

Her mood must have been due to her conversation with Aang this morning. She was still feeling deflated by everything he had said. She realized that she really wasn't ready to let him go yet. Though she had never seriously entertained romantic feelings for him she still relied on him as a friend. For almost the past year her life had revolved around him and now she was just expected to let him go. It had only been a few hours and already she felt so alone without him.

Looking up from her meal she glanced at Zuko. For the next month she was stuck with no one except the prince for company. Maybe that was the true reason that she had let her anger go for tonight. She was tired of fighting and she knew that he was too. It would do them both some good if she let go and tried to be cordial to him. After all everyone deserved a second chance. And besides if she held onto her anger the next month would be a miserable one for all of them.

_**Katara found herself back in the cave beneath Ba Sing Se with Zuko. **She was about to heal his scar. He stood there submissively waiting for her to try. She pulled the stopper off of the amulet and released the water into her hand. As the water took on its familiar blue glow she applied it to the scar. Zuko stood absolutely still. She could tell that he was holding his breath in anticipation. Slowly she removed her hand from his face. He opened his eyes and looked at her with a worried expression._

_"Oh Zuko," she said excitedly, "It worked. The scar is gone!"_

_He put his hand up to his face and felt his cheek. As soon as he felt the smooth flesh tears sprang from his eyes. Dropping his hand he stepped forward and hugged her tightly to him. "Thank you Katara. Thank You so much."_

_It was at that moment that Aang and Iroh entered the cave. She ran to Aang and hugged him tightly. Suddenly she heard Azula's voice behind her. _

_"You're not going to side with the Avatar just because the water tribe girl healed your scar. Come with me Zuko I can offer you so much more. I can help you restore your honor. I can end your banishment. Just help me defeat the Avatar."_

_She turned and looked at Zuko. He seemed to be wrestling with his thoughts. "Don't listen to her!" She yelled to him._

_He looked up at her and with regret in his voice said, "I'm sorry Katara but I have to do this." With that he shot a fire blast at Aang._

_In an instant they were engrossed in a battle. They fought hard but in the end they couldn't defeat the two fire benders. All seemed lost when Aang went into his Avatar State. As he rose into the air a bolt of lightning flashed and Aang was struck. She ran to him where he lay on the ground and turned him over. There was a burn mark in his back from where the bolt had entered. She noticed that he wasn't breathing. She needed to save him. Reaching for her amulet she realized too late that it was empty. She had used it on Zuko and now Aang would die._

_She looked up and noticed Sokka and Toph. Where had they come from she wondered. Her brother looked at her and simply asked, "Why? Why did you let him die?"_

_Tears were streaming down her face as she looked at her friend lying dead in her arms. It was all her fault. He should have never come back for her._

_She felt a hand on her shoulder and then heard a voice, "Katara, it's ok. You're having a bad dream."_

_It was Zuko. He was calling her. She brushed off his hand in anger but he only held her tighter._

_"Wake up Katara." She could feel him shake her. "You need to wake up."_

Suddenly she opened her eyes and took in a deep breath. Zuko was kneeling next to her, his hand on her shoulder. He had a look of concern on his face. Still dazed from sleep she reached her hand up and touched his scarred cheek.

"You still have your scar." She said somewhat relieved.

He removed her hand from his face and said, "You never healed it Katara. Remember, the Avatar and my uncle came in before you got the chance." He sat back on his feet and looked down. She suddenly felt bad for mentioning it. She sat up and reached for his hand. He looked up at her and she could see the hurt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," she began, "In my dream I had healed your scar but then when Aang was injured by Azula I couldn't save him because I had used the water from the amulet on you." She felt tears run down her cheeks and she let go of his hand to wipe them away. "If Aang had died it would have been my fault."

"How would it be your fault? You weren't the one who shot him with lightning." He said in reply.

Her guilt overwhelmed her and she said in a whisper, "He came back for me. He should have stayed here at the temple but he returned before he opened the seventh chakra because he had a vision that I was in danger. It's my fault."

Zuko looked stunned by her revelation but said, "Katara you can't blame yourself for a decision that he made. He knew the risks when he left and he knew the price that he might have to pay if he didn't finish what he started here with Guru Pathik. You didn't ask him to come back and I can't believe that you would have wanted him to if you had known the truth."

She knew what he was saying was true but she still couldn't help but feel remorse over what happened. The grief that she had been dealing with for the last few days came to the surface again and she took a few breaths to calm herself. The last thing she wanted to do was fall to pieces in front of him.

After a moment she said in a hoarse voice, "I don't want to lose anyone else. I don't think I could bear it if something happened to Aang. Losing my mother was hard enough. I don't want to lose my best friend." She choked back a sob and then continued. "All the people that I love have been separated from me. Even when I left the South Pole to travel with Aang I still had Sokka with me. Now he's gone with my dad and Toph with him."

"You'll see them again though." He interrupted.

"I know I will but I still can't help but worry about them. What if something happens? What if they get hurt and I can't help them. I mean Aang almost died and I was there with him but now the people I care about are far away. I won't be of any good if they need me."

"Katara you can't expect to always be there to protect them. We're at war. People get hurt and people die. If you try to take on the responsibility of keeping those you care about from harm you'll go crazy."

The tears she was trying to keep at bay began to fall freely but she didn't care anymore. "I don't want anyone else that I love to die. I'm afraid for them and for myself. I feel so alone now and they're only separated from me by distance. If they were to die and I could never see them again…"

She couldn't talk anymore. Her fears at losing all the people she treasured overwhelmed her. With the dream still fresh in her mind she found it impossible to remain calm. She could feel her stomach start to tighten and she felt an odd tingling sensation in her fingertips. She suddenly found it hard to breathe which made her panic even more.

Pulling her knees up to her chest she wrapped her arms around her legs. She tried to let go of her worries but she couldn't. It was at that moment that Zuko spoke and she realized that she had completely forgotten that he was there. "Katara you need to calm down or you're going to make yourself sick."

"Too late," she replied with a weak smile, "I already feel miserable."

He put his hand on her shoulder and looking into her eyes he said, "You know it's perfectly natural to worry about the people you love. No one wants to see those closest to them get hurt but you can't let your fears for their safety consume you or you won't be able function."

"But I don't want to lose them…" she began but stopped as she choked on another sob.

Suddenly she felt his hand move to her back and he began to rub it as he said, "You need to face the fact that you could lose them. There are no guarantees in life, Katara. But you can't live your life terrified that something might happen."

She knew he was right but she still found it hard to relax. She sat there quietly for some time. The rhythmic motions of his hand on her back started to help her to calm down and she let out a deep breath. "I'm sorry," she said starting to feel a little embarrassed by her loss of control. "I just really miss my family and the last few weeks have been very difficult."

"You don't have to apologize. It's ok to feel scared once in a while." He said as he pulled his hand from her back. She was surprised to find that she missed the warmth of his touch now that it was gone.

He sat back again and continued, "I guess we should try to go back to sleep."

"I don't know if I'll be able too." She said before she could stop herself.

He looked at her for a moment and then said, "If you want me to I can sit up until you fall asleep."

Once again her mouth betrayed her as she replied, "That would be nice."

He smiled slightly and said, "Go ahead and lie down. I'll wake you if you start to have anymore nightmares."

Unable to think of a response she laid down and closed her eyes and tried to sleep. She was amazed to find that she really was tired. Secure in the knowledge that she had someone looking out for her she started to drift off to sleep.

Opening her eyes one last time she looked at him and said simply, "Thank you."

With that said she promptly fell asleep.

**Zuko sat for some time gazing at Katara as she slept**. The evening had been a strange one to say the least. For the past week Katara had had nothing but harsh words for him but tonight things had been different. She was still distant but the hostility of earlier seemed to be gone. He hoped this was a permanent change but with girls you could never tell. Not that he was very experienced with the opposite sex. But one thing he did know was that they were prone to mood changes for absolutely no reason at all. Still if Katara was willing to let her guard down he wasn't going to complain.

When he had returned from his time with the guru he was so tired and the last thing he wanted was a fight. He lay on his mat with his eyes closed waiting for her attack but none ever came. In fact she surprised him with her concern for his welfare instead. And then when he made that comment about the tea she had actually smiled. That simple reaction caused him to smile in return. It had felt good to make her happy, if even for a brief moment.

Of course his exhaustion had quickly gotten the best of him and he had fallen asleep only to be awakened by her moaning in her sleep. He had gotten up to wake her figuring that he could interrupt the dream and then she would simply fall back asleep but that wasn't the way it had played out. She had been terrified by her dream and the more she talked the more he realized that the dream was just a mirror for her real fears.

He had always pictured her as a formidable opponent not to be easily dismissed but tonight he had seen a different side to her; a vulnerable side. Her nightmare had taken its toll on her and she had fallen to pieces. Of course he had been at a complete loss as of what to do. The girls that he was used to, Azula and her friends, never showed weakness. They never cried about anything. He wanted to console Katara but he didn't know where to even begin. It was then that he remembered his mother and the ways that she would comfort him when he was afraid or sad. Following her example he reached out for Katara and rubbed her back trying to soothe away her anxieties. He had expected her to shrug him off but when she accepted his comfort he continued. He found that it felt good to be able to help her deal with her fears and in the end she had been able to relax and finally fall back asleep because he had helped her.

This thought made him smile. All his life he had taken from others. It felt good to be able to give something back especially after all that she had done for him. Satisfied that she was fast asleep he started to rise from his place beside her. He glanced over at his uncle and saw that he was still sleeping. He then looked to the Avatar. To his surprise the boy was wide awake and staring back at him. When their eyes met the young monk rolled over the other way giving him his back. Zuko wondered what that had been about and why the Avatar hadn't come to Katara's aid himself if he had been awake.

As he lay down on his mat he found that he was too tired to ponder the question at length. Maybe tomorrow things would make more sense. He only hoped that the new day would not see an end to the truce that he and Katara seemed to now share.

**A.N.** I had some time off early in the week so I got most of this written then. I hope you enjoy the chapter.


	8. Chapter 7 The Water Chakra

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

_All quotes in italics are from Avatar Spirit (Transcripts from the series)._

**The Water Chakra**

**Zuko awoke to find the sun just starting to rise**. The morning was still and calm. As he gazed around the camp he found that he was the only one awake. Katara lay on her mat exhausted by her dreams the night before. He didn't want to disturb her so he quietly went about stoking the fire back to life and starting some water to boil for his medicinal tea. He figured that Katara wasn't going to back down any time soon about his drinking it so he might as well beat her to the task.

As he waited for the water to boil he sat and stared into the flames and reflected on the insights that he had gained the previous day. Opening the chakra had been an odd experience but he definitely felt better as a result. He was eager to continue and wondered when Guru Pathik would arrive so that they could begin with the next chakra.

He prepared his tea and started to drink it unaware of the faces he was making as he attempted to down the noxious mixture. From across the way he heard a quiet chuckle as the guru approached him with his own drink in hand.

"A good cup of tea is meant to be enjoyed. You may want to rethink that blend unless you're drinking it as some form of penance."

Zuko looked at the old man and tried to smile. "This is supposed to help my body recover from the illness I experienced due to my injuries. Uncle claims that no medicine that is worth its weight should ever taste good. I guess this one is really powerful"

The guru laughed again and then raised his cup towards him and said, "If you really want some good 'medicine' you should try this stuff. It really clears the mind…and the room after awhile."

Zuko took a sniff of the drink and recoiled in disgust. "That smells horrible. What is it?"

"A blend of onion and banana juice. It is a true delicacy!" the old man replied. "Want a sip?"

Zuko made a face and said, "I think I'll stick with the tea. Suddenly it doesn't seem so terrible."

This elicited another laugh from Pathik. When he had regained his composure he looked around the camp. "I see that you have risen before the rest."

"My uncle and the Avatar returned after I had fallen asleep and Katara was troubled by bad dreams. I didn't want to disturb her."

The guru gave him a look that he didn't quite understand and then said, "Well if you are done with your lovely tea we could get going on our day. Are you ready to open the next charka?"

Zuko gulped down the rest of tea and then rose quickly to his feet. "I'm ready." He said and grabbing a few nuts for breakfast said, "I can eat these on the way. Let's go."

The guru smiled and nodded his head. They slowly made their way from camp. Zuko took in his surroundings a they walked the grounds of the temple. In the early morning light it looked truly magnificent and Zuko thought he could understand just why the Air Nomads could give up everything and spend their lives here. It was so peaceful. For a moment he could put aside all of his problems and be at peace. It was a feeling that he knew wouldn't last for long as he still had much work to do before this journey was done.

**The guru led him to a cavern inside of the mountain**. A waterfall entered in near the ceiling and cascaded down over the various rock ledges that jutted forth from the walls. The sound of the water as it worked its way down was almost hypnotic and he found himself slowly relaxing even more.

They walked out onto a rock that shot out against the waterfall but was far enough away from the water as to keep them from getting wet. The guru sat down in a meditative pose and motioned for Zuko to join him. He too sat in a similar position and then waited for the old man to speak.

Guru Pathik looked at him and said, "Today you will open the water chakra. It is rooted in pleasure and is blocked by guilt. I want you to search your heart and find what it is that causes you the most regret."

Zuko closed his eyes and sat in silence. As he listened to the rhythm of the water he could feel himself slowly start to disconnect from the present. His mind drifted back over the past year as images began to appear randomly into his consciousness.

Suddenly he was back in the South Pole. His ship was pushing its way forward through the ice and water towards the small village where the Avatar and his companions were hiding. He could hear the ice as it met the steel of the hull and then shattered into pieces. He knew that he would stop at nothing to gain his prize and the destruction of this little community was just a consequence of that desire. He could see himself leave his ship in search of the Avatar. The people of the village were terrified of his presence as they should be he thought. He was the Prince of the Fire Nation. He was as close to a god as these peasants were going to get.

Their fear fueled his need to prove himself. He knew that today the Avatar would be his and he would finally return home with honor. This was his greatest victory in his young life but then it was snatched away from him before he even had a chance to leave those frigid waters.

His vision suddenly shifted and he was in Kyoshi. The villagers had been reveling in the Avatar's company but they soon regretted it when he and his soldiers unleashed their fury on the village. He could smell the scent of burnt wood as he saw the buildings engulfed in flames. All a necessity of war he rationalized. These people knew the risk that they were taking in housing the Avatar. Now the time had come to pay for their mistake.

Zuko could feel the disappointment again as the Avatar escaped. The pattern that was set in the South Pole continued to follow him for the rest of his travels. He was doomed to chase but never successfully capture the boy.

Once again his mind shifted and he was aboard his ship again. There was a storm approaching but he didn't care. He was so close to the Avatar and nothing would stand in his way. He put his desire to capture the boy above everything, even the safety of his crew. But that night something had changed. He realized that his current way of thinking was wrong. Sanity returned for the moment and he began to feel the beginnings of remorse for his actions.

Up until that point he hadn't really seen any of his actions as wrong. After all fire was the superior element and his nation was winning this war. It was inevitable that people would lose to him if they got in his way. They shouldn't defy him. He represented the Fire Lord, even if he was banished, and he deserved their respect as well as their fear. But the night of the storm he saw himself step over a line. It was the first time he had witnessed disappointment in his actions from his uncle. Iroh had kept silent about many things that Zuko had done but he could not defend the prince's actions in the face of the storm. In the end Zuko had asked for his uncle's forgiveness and his uncle had given it without hesitation. It was the first time he had apologized for his actions but it would not be the last.

The images in his mind raced as he witnessed many of the events of the past year play out before him. None of these conjured up guilt though. The person he was then didn't feel remorse for his actions. In fact it wasn't until he left his uncle and went out on his own that he started to understand just how his actions and that of his nation were affecting the rest of the world.

Still though all the lessons that he had learned during his exile couldn't quench his need to find the Avatar and return him to the Fire Lord. The chance to return home was always present in his mind, affecting every decision that he made. Suddenly he could see himself standing beneath Lake Laogai facing the Avatar's bison. His uncle had found him and confronted him, forcing him to face his desires head on. He thought he knew what he wanted. He thought he knew what his destiny was but he hadn't really thought it through. In the end he had released the beast from its prison and unwittingly started on a spiritual journey that he was still struggling with today.

All along the way his uncle had fought by his side encouraging him to grow and become the man he was destined to be. But Uncle's vision of who he should be was ultimately not the same as his. Seeing the old man with the Avatar had stirred something within Zuko akin to hatred. He still felt inadequate in the boy's presence

His uncle had expected him to follow the boy. "_You are not the man you used to be, Zuko. You are stronger and wiser and freer than you have ever been. And now you have come to the crossroads of your destiny. It's time for you to choose. It's time for you to choose good!"_

To choose good: Had Zuko's actions up until that time been bad? Had he truly fallen so far from the respectable life that he craved so much? He had thought hard about his uncle's words but he had been interrupted by Azula.

She presented him with everything he wanted; a chance to return home with honor and finally have his father's love. It was so tempting, so easy. Iroh though pleaded with him not to listen to her.

"_Zuko, I am begging you, look into your heart and see what it is that you truly want."_

What he truly wanted: If only he knew. Azula offered him a chance for redemption in the eyes of his father. Iroh's path was that of uncertainty. He could understand now how his fears played a part in his decision to side with his sister but it was also something more. He wanted to be Fire Lord. He deserved to rule his nation and he deserved his father's love and respect. Azula's path was the easier of the two. He wasn't ready for the demands that Iroh was placing on him. Honestly he didn't know if he would ever be.

So he had followed Azula and betrayed Uncle. He could feel the rush as he faced the Avatar, confident in his abilities to finally take the boy. With Azula on his side he would be invincible! His heart raced as the adrenalin pumped through his body. All his past failures faded away and for a moment he felt like the great bender that he was born to be.

But then Azula had shot the boy down with lightning and as he approached Katara and the Avatar, ready to take his prize, his uncle had stepped in and fired upon him. It took a moment for that fact to register in his mind. His uncle, the man who had followed him into exile three years earlier was standing against him. It was the first time in his life that they had fought on opposing sides; the first time that he had felt Uncle's angry stare aimed in his direction. When all was over he could see the disappointment on his uncle's face and started to feel ashamed of what he had done.

His euphoria over defeating the Avatar was short lived. Azula though gloated about their victory. They had taken Ba Sing Se. The Earth Kingdom had fallen to the Fire Nation. For him it was a hollow victory. He had betrayed Uncle, the one person who truly believed in him.

Azula saw it differently. He could hear her words from that day in his mind like it was just happening, _"…He betrayed you. Zuko, when you return home, father will welcome you as a war hero."_

Everything that he thought he wanted was going to be his. This was what he had desired for himself and yet when he finally had it he found that he couldn't enjoy it. What good was having his honor restored if Uncle wasn't there to share in it with him?

His guilt over this weighed heavy on him and he clutched his chest as he struggled to breathe. The enormity of his actions pressed in on him and he cried out from the pain.

"I betrayed Uncle…"

He opened his eyes and found himself back in the present. The guru sat staring at him with concern in his eyes. He found himself panting. Deep down in his gut he felt a tightening. The discomfort was almost unbearable.

"…He believed in me and I turned my back on him."

The guru spoke in a soothing voice, "This may be true young prince, but you must come to terms with your actions and accept that they happened. Your uncle has forgiven you, has he not?"

Zuko thought back to their time on the ship before the Water Tribe attacked. Uncle had forgiven him but he was not ready to hear it. He couldn't bear to have his uncle say those words because he still held onto the guilt.

"Yes, my uncle forgave me soon after it happened."

"Then you must forgive yourself. You will never be able to be the man you are destined to be if you hold onto this guilt. It will eat at you until there is nothing left. Life will become empty and you will find no pleasure in it."

"But I can't … I don't want to."

"Punishing yourself like this will not change the past. Learn from these decisions so that you do not make the same mistakes again but forgive yourself. It is the only way to move forward."

Zuko closed his eyes again. The old man was right. He needed to let it go. His mind drifted back in time again and he found himself aboard his ship facing exile. His uncle stood beside him as they watched the only home he had ever known fade from his sight. It had been one of the saddest moments of his life and his uncle had been there for him.

He could remember Iroh's words as they lost sight of the shoreline, "Though you have been banished never lose sight of who you are. In your heart you carry with you the people of your nation. Their hopes and desires rest in you. You are truly a prince and you will always be a man of honor. Learn from what has happened here and never regret what you have done. And remember my nephew that I will always be here for you. No matter what happens I will always love you."

He felt tears run down his face at the memory. He had buried those words of long ago in the far recesses of his mind. But now he wrapped himself in their strength. Uncle loved him and nothing he would ever do could change that. If Iroh could forgive him then he owed it to him to forgive himself.

He inhaled a deep breath and released it along with all the guilt that he had been feeling. The pain left him and he felt lightness to his being that wasn't there before. Deep within him he felt the odd tingling sensation that had started dissipate as a warmth spread through him. He opened his eyes and looked at the guru. A smile was on the old man's face and Zuko couldn't help but return it.

"It seems that you have forgiven yourself. The second chakra is open."

A sense of calm spread through him. He had done it. He had let go of the guilt that had plagued him for weeks. Looking around he saw that it was still daylight. He looked forward to returning to camp. He was eager to see uncle and tell him the news. He missed speaking with the old man. He had forgotten just how important Iroh was to him and he vowed that he would not take the old man for granted any longer. Iroh's path was certainly harder than Azula's but in the end he knew the rewards would be well worth it.

**A.N.** A big thank yo to Wren Sharpbeak for her help and guidance in the formation of this chapter - I hope it meets with satisfaction.

Also thank you to all who have reviewed. It is so nice to get imput on the story.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It was written in pieces but I finally got the energy to finish it! (I don't think I've been awake at 9:00 at night in weeks!)

I've got some vacation time coming my way the next two weeks so aside from laying on the beach I plan to write. I hope to crank out some more soon.


	9. Chapter 8 Two Sides of the Same Coin

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**Two Sides of the Same Coin **

**Katara had spent her day exploring the stables of the air temple**. She hoped to find a new saddle for Appa and after much searching finally managed to do so. The object though was too heavy for her to carry alone so she decided to leave it be until they were ready to leave this place. When that time came she could just simply walk the animal to the saddle and place it on him there.

She felt pretty accomplished as she made her way back to camp. After days spent mostly with her own company she was beginning to get used to the quiet. Still it would be nice to have someone to talk to. As she came closer to their campsite she was surprised to see Zuko sitting by the fire. Even though he had left early this morning she hadn't expected him for a while longer. As she walked up to him he looked up at her and smiled. Another surprise; she had never seen Zuko smile in any way except for a cocky smirk when he was getting his way. But lately she had started to see genuine smiles on his face and she began to wonder just what all this chakra stuff was all about.

"Care for some tea? I just boiled some water." He said as she sat down on the opposite side of the fire from him.

"Tea would be nice. Are you sure you know how to make it though?"

He gave her a look and then said, "I spent over a month working in a tea shop in Ba Sing Se; I think I can manage."

She smiled and said, "Ok then I guess I'll have to take your word for it." And then after some thought she added, "You know you should really be drinking the Huang Qi tea that we got for you."

Once again he gave her a look and held up the root in question. "One step ahead of you. I figure the best way to keep you off my back is to just go ahead and drink it on my own."

"Ah, such wisdom for one so young." She joked.

This brought another smile to his face as he replied, "It must come from the company I keep. First my uncle and now Guru Pathik. You're the only person without white hair that I get to spend any time with."

Well there was Aang but she realized that in the week that they had been together he had had absolutely no real contact with her friend. It was probably better that way. Aang needed time alone with Iroh to master fire bending and Zuko needed to focus on his chakra stuff. Being apart would do them both some good.

Zuko prepared her tea and handed it to her. She took a sip and was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn't that bad. Of course Iroh made the best tea but she couldn't expect that talent to run in the family. She looked up from her tea at him and noticed the grimace on his face. This made her laugh and he looked at her and said, "I said that I would drink it willingly but I didn't say that I would enjoy it."

"Well no problem there. It's pretty obvious what you think of the tea." She replied.

He finished the rest of his tea and placed the empty cup on the ground next to his mat. Rising to his feet he put his arms up over his head and stretched. "I've been sitting all day. I think I need to go for a walk before my muscles freeze up on me." He started to leave and then turned back around. "Katara" he started, "would you care to join me?"

Going for a walk with Zuko was really not what she had planned for the afternoon but she could tell by the look on his face that he wanted company. Why not, she thought. "Sure." She replied and got to her feet. "A walk would be nice."

He waited for her to catch up to where he stood and then they continued on together. They walked for a while in silence before he spoke again. "The guru took me to this place today that you'd probably like."

"Really and why is that?" she asked.

"It was a cavern inside the mountain and it had all these waterfalls that started near the ceiling and made their way down through and opening near the bottom. The sound of the water hitting all the different rock formations was very soothing. It would make for an excellent place to meditate."

"Sounds nice." She simply replied.

"I could take you there if you want. It's not that far from here. Would you like to see it?"

"Sure why not."

He smiled again, this time more to himself. Again she marveled at the changes in him. This chakra stuff must be pretty powerful. Turning to him she asked, "Zuko, what exactly is it that you do with Guru Pathik? I mean I know that you're supposed to be opening chakras but what exactly is that?"

He continued walking but explained, "Chakras have to do with energy… "

**They came to the cavern just as Zuko was finishing explaining the earth chakra**. Katara had seemed interested enough and he was amazed to find that he actually enjoyed telling her all about it. As they walked inside they both stopped for a moment to take in the sight before them. Katara took in a sharp breath and the smiled as she let it out. He couldn't help but grin to at her pleasure from seeing such beauty. He knew she would like it and he was glad that she had come along with him to see it.

"This place is amazing!" she said and then walked toward the ledge where he had sat only a short while ago with Guru Pathik. "So why did he take you here?"

"The second chakra is the water chakra." He simply replied.

"Well that makes sense. So what is the water chakra all about?"

"It's rooted in pleasure…" he began and then paused.

"What Zuko? If it's rooted in pleasure then what is it blocked by?" She asked.

"Guilt." He replied. "The water chakra is blocked by guilt."

"Wow, I would have thought that would take you a lot longer than an afternoon to open." She blurted out.

He could feel anger start at her remark and asked, "Just what is that supposed to mean?"

She looked at him and stated, "Well it's just that you've done some pretty nasty stuff to us over the last year. I would think that you would have a great deal to get off your chest, that's all."

His pleasant mood from earlier completely vanished. How dare she sit in judgment over his past actions? She had no right to decide what he should or shouldn't feel guilty about.

Letting his anger get the best of him he lashed out, "You know you have some nerve saying that."

"Well it's true." She replied defensively. "You've been horrible to us. Trying to capture Aang at any moment; chasing us all over the world. And what about my home? You nearly destroyed that when you ran your ship into it. Then you go and threaten my grandmother…"

"I never threatened your grandmother. I've never even met her."

"The old lady that you grabbed and said would be about as old as the Avatar…"

"Oh please… I did not threaten her."

"Then what would you call it?" she fumed.

"I was just using her as an example. I never harmed her."

"You were shooting fire everywhere. Who knows what would have happened if Aang hadn't surrendered." She yelled at him.

He was having a hard time containing his temper. "You are being ridiculous. All those things happened a long time ago. I was doing my duty to the Fire Nation. I was hunting the Avatar. It's not like I would have shown up and invited everyone to tea. We're at war in case you've forgotten. People get hurt. Homes get destroyed. It's all part of it."

"So you feel absolutely no guilt about what you did! You think that treating people like that is just fine…"

"Like I said earlier I was hunting the Avatar…"

"So that makes is ok? You nearly destroyed our village."

"I did what I had to do; what I was trained to do. And besides you shouldn't have been harboring the Avatar."

"You can't be serious." She said her voice starting to rise. "You can't really be trying to place the blame on us."

He felt a slight bit embarrassed by his excuses but she had him on the defensive and he was starting to feel flustered. His point was getting lost as his tongue became tied. "I didn't mean it that way. It's just that at the time I didn't feel that I was doing anything wrong. Your village was harboring the Avatar and the Fire Nation was seeking him to…"

"To what?" She interrupted again. "To destroy the only chance the rest of the world had at peace. To further the annihilation of other cultures and peoples. That fact in itself should keep you up at night. Your nation has done great atrocities to the world and you were more than willing to step up and add to those. You should be ashamed but apparently none of that bothers you."

"You're twisting my words. If you would just let me explain…"

Again she cut him off, "There's nothing that you could say that could explain your actions. I just can't believe that I was letting myself start to trust you again. I should have learned my lesson in Ba Sing Se. You'll never change. You're still the same person you were when I first met you. You may feel a sense of relief with all this chakra stuff but quite frankly I don't see it making any real difference."

"You have no idea what you're talking about." He said in a very cold tone. "If you would just let me get in a complete sentence…"

"I've heard enough. I need to get away from you. I thought I could try to be nice but I would rather spend the next month alone than in your company!"

With that said she started to leave. As she made her way past him he shot out his hand and grabbed her arm. "You are not going anywhere until I have had a chance to say my peace."

Her eyes met his with a deadly glare. With lightning quick speed she raised her free hand and pulled the water from behind her. Suddenly he could feel it wrap its way around his neck and then start to freeze. The force was just tight enough to make his breathing strained. In almost a growl she said, "I suggest you let go of my arm before I tighten my grip any further."

"Go for it!" He returned in raspy voice. "Silence me if that makes you feel better. But personally I think that you're just afraid that if you hear me out you may just see how pigheaded you're being. Maybe the truth is too much for you."

Her eyes narrowed more and he could feel the water freeze even tighter around his neck. He was having difficulty breathing but he refused to let go of her arm. "There are no words that you could say that could change my opinion of you."

"Then… hear…me… out." He gasped.

She stared a moment more and then released the water from around his neck. He took in a deep breath and then let her go as well. Rubbing his neck he looked at her and said, "I want you to understand where I am coming from."

"Fine, spill your guts." She replied almost sarcastically.

Zuko stared at her for a moment trying to collect his thoughts. He needed her to understand. He wanted her to trust him, to be on his side. He was so tired of fighting his battles on his own with only Uncle to give him support. All his life he had been a loner. He just wanted a friend. And just when it seemed like she was starting to give him a chance he was screwing it up again.

Drawing on what he had learned over the past few days he began to speak, "Katara before I begin I need you to understand that everything I have done was because I just wanted to return home."

**Katara looked away**. She had heard all of this before. He wanted to return home; he needed to restore his honor. This was nothing new. Still she said that she would hear him out so she remained silent.

He continued on, his voice taking on a far away quality and she could tell that he was getting caught up in his memories. "When I was fourteen my father banished me from the Fire Nation. I lost my honor, my home, and all that I held dear that day. The only way that I could return was to bring him the Avatar. Of course no one had seen the Avatar in over a hundred years. Many people thought I was crazy. They thought that my father had sent me on a fool's quest and that I would never return home. But I wouldn't listen to them. I would find him.

I can still remember the last time I saw my home. I was standing on the deck of my ship, my uncle beside me. It had only been a few weeks since the agni kai and the burn on my face had yet to fully heal. The pain was blinding but I refused to go below deck. As I watched my homeland fade into the distance I could feel an ache in my chest that time could not heal. The only way to stop the pain was to find the Avatar. He was the only hope I had at returning to my previous life and I clung to that hope with every fiber of my being. I vowed that I would find him. I would prove everyone wrong and I would return home with honor.

I searched for two years in vain never even catching a glimpse of him. It was as if he had fallen off the face of the earth. But still I kept at it. I had the resources of the Fire Nation at my disposal and I planned to do what ever it took to bring the Avatar home. Then after all that time he appeared. I can still remember the rush I felt when I saw the beam of light in the South Pole and knew that it was him. My exile was coming to an end; I could feel it in my bones. Two years of searching. Two years of humiliation and ridicule were about to be a distant memory. I was going home."

He grew quiet again and she could feel her heart start to go out to him. Against her better judgment she could feel stirrings of compassion. She squeezed her eyes tight and looked away. She could not let him get to her. He had hurt her and the people she loved. She couldn't let herself be swayed by his story. She couldn't forgive him.

Zuko continued on, "When I came across your village I was prepared for war. I knew that the Avatar had had over a hundred years to master the elements and I fully expected a battle. My adrenalin was pumping and I was ready to fight but he wasn't there. When I grabbed your grandmother I was furious. Your village was harboring the greatest enemy of the Fire Nation and my only chance to return home. My actions were justified in my mind. I wanted you to feel fear. I wanted you to give up the Avatar. But then he gave himself up and after two long years I was returning home victorious.

But you know the story. Every time I came close to capturing him he managed to escape. My chances of returning home became less and less with each passing day until finally it became futile. Uncle and I became fugitives of the Fire Nation. Any chance of going home was eliminated after the North Pole. But I couldn't accept that. I was too far gone in my need to go home that I refused to believe what was clear in front of me.

In Ba Sing Se Azula offered me a chance to redeem myself in the eyes of my father and I believed her. I turned my back on Uncle and everything that he had taught me because I wanted so desperately to believe her. I betrayed the only person who had ever truly believed in me. He had given up everything he had to follow me into exile and I threw that away for a chance to return home. When I looked into his eyes after you had escaped he turned away from me. His disappointment was clear in his actions. It was at that moment that I finally understood how low I had sunk in my quest for the Avatar."

He grew silent again and then closed the distance between them. Standing just inches from her he placed his hand under her chin and forced her to look up at him. In a whisper soft voice he said, "Katara it's not that I don't feel bad about what I've done in the past. It's just that until that moment I never fully realized what I was becoming; what I was willing to throw away in the slim hope that my father would restore my honor."

Dropping his hand he continued to hold her gaze. "I'm sorry if my actions hurt you. It's just that for so long I saw you as an obstacle in my way. You stood between me and my prize. I never saw you as anything else. Not until we were imprisoned in the cave in Ba Sing Se."

He broke eye contact and looked away. Softly he spoke again. "I know that we were alone for a brief moment in time but I felt a connection with you. I saw you as someone other than the Avatar's companion. I began to feel a hope different from that which capturing the Avatar brought me. You made me feel like I could leave my past behind me and forge a new destiny; one of my own choosing."

"But you chose to follow Azula." She stated coldly. The pain of his betrayal still fresh in her mind.

He looked up again and she could see the regret in his eyes. "I thought that I was ready to change but when faced with the reality of the situation I began to doubt myself. I followed my sister because in my heart I still believed that I could return home and restore my honor. What she was offering was more than I could resist."

His words rang familiar in her ears and she thought back to a conversation with Iroh before they arrived at the temple. He had said almost word for word the same thing. Azula knew just how to manipulate Zuko and he had played right into her hands. Suddenly all the pieces from the past year started to fall into place. She remembered something that Sokka had said at the North Pole; _if we know anything it's that Zuko never gives up. _It wasn't that Zuko wouldn't give up it was that he couldn't. Everything he held dear depended on him returning home with Aang in tow.

She found herself torn. The things that he had told her made her feel compassion for him but yet she was still so hurt by what he had done. Before she could stop herself she felt tears start to run down her cheeks. Horrified by her weakness she turned away from him and closed her eyes. It was then that she felt his hand cup the side of her face as his thumb moved across her cheek to wipe away her tears.

"Please don't cry Katara." He said in a soothing voice. He moved his hand and then wiped away the tears on the other side of her face. "I wish I could take back what I did in Ba Sing Se but I can't. I can only promise to never hurt you like that again."

Opening her eyes she turned to face him and said, "Your words are no good to me. I can't believe you… no, I _won't_ believe you. I was a fool to trust you once. I won't let it happen again."

He stepped back. On his face she could see the pain that her words had inflicted. Softly he said, "I'm so sorry."

She almost regretted her words but she had meant them. She couldn't let herself trust him again. As she stared at him she remembered something else that Iroh had said to her about forgiveness. _Sometimes it makes it easier to forgive someone for their wrongs when you understand the motivation behind them. _She now understood what he meant.

Looking intently at Zuko she said simply, "I forgive you for what you have done but I can't forget it. I can't trust you." Her voice cracked with emotion that she didn't even realize she felt. She turned away from him and started to leave. Looking back one more time she said softly, "I can't do it Zuko. I'm sorry."

And with that said she left him standing there. The look on his face tore at her heart. It had only been a few short weeks ago that they had shared that time imprisoned together. Before he betrayed her and Aang to Azula she would have trusted him with her life. Now all that was gone. She could feel her tears begin again in earnest, almost blinding her. She wanted to trust him but she couldn't. She also knew that it wasn't just Zuko that she couldn't trust. Her own heart was becoming her enemy and she knew that if she let him get too close it would betray her as well.

**A.N.** For what started as an easy chapter, this one turned out to be a real bear. I rewrote it about three times trying to get it just where I wanted it. I always get anxious when I let Zuko talk for too long. It seems out of character but then this is a departure from the story anyways. He's going to change so I guess he can be long winded in his explanations

I hope you like it. Please let me know what you think.


	10. Chapter 9 The Fire Chakra Part I

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**The Fire Chakra (Part I)**

Zuko awoke early the next morning. He hadn't slept well the night before and found that he was eager to find Guru Pathik and get started opening the next chakra. It wasn't so much opening the chakra that appealed to him as much as getting away from camp. After his conversation with Katara back at the cavern the previous afternoon he found that he just wanted to be anywhere other than with her. When he had invited her for a walk he hadn't anticipated getting into an argument or feeling so rotten as a result. He had been trying to be nice. He wanted to make it up to her for everything that he had done in their past but he just messed things up again. Now he felt like any gains that they had made over the past few days were gone. He began to wonder if it was even worth the effort. If she couldn't trust him then they would never be able to have even the most civil of friendships.

He rolled over on his mat and started to get up when he noticed Katara was already awake and sitting up on her mat. She had a tea cup in her hand and was gazing into the fire. She looked as bad as he felt and he realized that he wasn't the only one that had a bad night.

Sitting up and facing her he asked, "Have you been awake long?"

She jumped slightly at the sound of his voice and dropped the tea cup onto the ground in front of her. In a startled voice she exclaimed, "I didn't realize that anyone was awake."

Moving over to where she sat he picked up her tea cup and wiped it off. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Here let me get you some more tea."

He sat back down and prepared her another cup. Handing it to her she smiled weakly and said simply, "Thank you."

Growing quiet again she sat and sipped her tea. Her silence was starting to make him feel anxious so he poured himself a cup of tea to keep himself busy. Finally unable to take the awkwardness anymore he said, "My uncle and I had a nice talk last night when I returned to camp."

Still staring into the fire she replied, "That's nice."

They sat in silence for a while longer before he attempted a conversation again. "So Katara, are you hungry?"

"Not really but there's still some fruit that I collected yesterday if you want something to eat."

He went to the basket and pulled out a few plums. The supply was getting low and he began to wonder what they would do for food when it was gone. Returning to his mat he asked, "So are there any fruit trees around here or do we need to scavenge somewhere else for food soon?"

Looking up at him she said, "Aang said that there used to be lots of trees with various fruits and nuts here when he was a boy. I figured that I would go looking today and see if I could find any of them."

"You know it's too bad that meat doesn't grow on trees." He said half jokingly. She gave him an odd look so he tried to clarify. "I mean you do a good job with what we have but I would give anything for something other than a vegetarian diet."

Suddenly a huge grin broke out across her face and she started to laugh. He wasn't sure if she was laughing with him or at him but he didn't really care. The sound of her laughter made it worth it either way,

After a minute she settled down and wiping the tears from her eyes said, "I'm sorry it's just that that sounded just like something Sokka would say. Of course if meat did grow on trees he would have a whole orchard full of them."

Her expression turned wistful at that statement and he knew that she was missing her family. Looking at her he said, "You'll see them again soon."

She looked at him and was quiet for a moment and then said, "Thank you."

That threw him off and he looked at her questioningly. She smiled and then said, "You've been very nice to me this morning when you really didn't have to be. I appreciate it."

He bowed his head at her comment and then looking back up said, "I don't want to fight with you Katara. I really don't."

She stared at him for a moment and then said, "I know and I'm sorry. This is all just very hard for me. I need time."

He simply replied, "I understand."

They sat in silence again but this time he didn't feel so uncomfortable. The sun began to make its way into the morning sky and it wasn't too long before he heard the familiar foot steps of the guru approaching. Rising to his feet he turned and bowed low to the old man.

"Good morning Guru Pathik."

The guru smiled pleasantly at him and returned his bow. "Good morning young prince. Are you ready for today?"

Zuko nodded his head in reply. The guru then looked to Katara and said, "I see you have company this morning. And how are you Katara?"

She smiled in return and said, "I'm fine."

"Ah good, good." The guru replied. "Do you have plans for today?"

"I'm just going to go looking for food."

"Oh there is much to choose from here, if Momo doesn't eat it all first." He joked.

She laughed and looking over at the sleeping lemur said, "You never know with Momo. He does have quite the appetite. But I think we'll be ok."

The guru smiled and then bowing to her said, "Well I don't mean to be rude but Zuko and I need to get going. There is much to discuss today."

She nodded her head in understanding. "I'll see you when you return."

Zuko gave her a quick smile and then left with Guru Pathik. They walked a short way from camp before the old man spoke. "I see that you and Katara are getting along better than when you first arrived."

"I don't know, yesterday we had an argument. She forgave me for what happened in Ba Sing Se but she doesn't trust me." He said and then sounding a little more dejected than he meant to he continued, "I don't know if she ever will."

"Ah, trust is a tricky thing. Once you have lost it, it can be very hard to get it back."

"But I apologized. I promised I wouldn't hurt her again but she doesn't believe me."

"Well if you betrayed her with your actions you cannot expect for her to believe you just by your words alone. You must show her that you mean it by how you act and what you do. Time will be your greatest ally. If you really want to gain back her trust you will need to give her time."

He thought about that and realized that the guru was right. In fact Katara had said it herself: _your words are no good to me. _Last night those words had wounded his pride but now he had a better understanding of them. Still he wondered if she would ever get over what happened back in Ba Sing Se.

Voicing his doubts he said, "I don't know if all the time in the world will be enough for her to believe me."

The guru surprised him by chuckling and then saying, "Time is a tricky thing. For those with patience a hundred years can pass in the blink of an eye. But somehow I don't see Katara that way. She does not like to be in conflict with others. She may want to resolve this quicker than you think. Have faith in her."

He was amazed to realize how much he did desire to gain her trust. It was important for reasons that he couldn't begin to understand. Still he would do as the guru said; he would have faith in her and hope she could come to believe that he was sincere in his apology.

**They walked on in silence**. Occasionally Guru Pathik would remark about a particular sight or sound. After some time he led Zuko to a room inside the main building. On the walls were murals depicting life within the temple.

The guru stood in the center of the room and turning to Zuko said, "I have never found a place in all my years as happy and as peaceful as here at this temple. This was where the children would come when they were ready to begin their training. They would learn about their culture and the philosophies that made the Air Nomads such a great race."

Zuko looked at the images around him. He had never given much thought to life in an air temple. Of course all he had ever been taught about the air benders was that his great grandfather completely destroyed them in the victory that started the whole war a hundred years earlier. He had never pictured children at the temples. For some reason that was left out of the history books. It disgusted him to realize the magnitude of what had occurred here.

He was lost in his thoughts when Guru Pathik spoke again. "This temple is where Aang met Appa. He was schooled here until they both were ready to make the journey to the Southern Air Temple which would become his permanent home."

Zuko stared at him for a moment and then asked, "Why have you brought me here? Does the next chakra have to do with the element of air?"

"No, it actually deals with fire." The old man replied. "I just like this room. It makes me feel calm. My memories are all happy ones as I look at the various drawings on the walls."

The pictures didn't make Zuko feel happy. In fact they made him uneasy. His nation had destroyed the Air Nomads. This room just made the horror of it all very clear to him.

"Well enough said. Let us take a seat and begin." The guru stated as he sat in the familiar pose of the last few days.

Zuko followed suit and joined him on the floor. For the first time since this began he felt a sense of unease creep into his being and he wondered just what this next chakra was all about.

The guru looked at him and then said, "As I said earlier this chakra is known as the fire chakra. It deals with will power and is located in the stomach."

Zuko thought back over his training with Uncle. "My uncle says that the power from fire bending comes from the breath. The breath becomes energy in the body and that energy spreads out through the limbs and is released as fire."

"Very true." The guru replied. "This chakra deals with energy and breath. Not just the air we take in but the breath that is life itself." He paused again and then continued, "This will also mark a transition from base to higher emotions. The task ahead of you will become harder as you look deeper inside of yourself. You have much to do today if you are to unlock this chakra."

Zuko stared at him and then asked, "If it deals with will power then what is it blocked by?"

"The fire chakra is blocked by feelings of shame."

"But I don't understand. Didn't we just work through this yesterday? I don't see the point in going through things that I regret again." Zuko said a little irritably.

The guru sighed and said, "You misunderstand, guilt and shame are not the same thing. Guilt is a painful feeling of regret over something that you did; an action that went against your own internal values. You knew that it was wrong to betray your uncle because he loved and cared for you all these years. You felt regret for turning your back on what he taught you for a chance at restoring your honor and regaining your position within the Fire Nation.

But shame is different. It is a painful feeling about oneself as a person. It affects how we view ourselves and is caused more by a violation of social values. How others react to us can cause us shame until eventually we begin to become our own judges finding fault with the things that we do. Shame can be even more destructive than guilt. You must deal with your shame before you destroy everything that you are trying to achieve."

Zuko could feel himself becoming annoyed. Lashing out he said, "But I don't feel any shame. I am a prince of the Fire Nation. I am royalty. I have nothing to be ashamed of."

"I think that you are still not grasping what I am trying to tell you. You may be a prince and you may feel a great deal of pride because of your status but that does not mean that you don't feel shame. Pride is not the opposite of shame."

"That's what my uncle has told me." He replied bitterly.

"Well your uncle is a very wise man. Right now you are reacting to what I have said with anger. That anger is more a result of shame. Search your feelings. Anger, resentment, despair… these are all feelings that can be rooted in shame."

Zuko grew quiet and stared at the old man before him. He was feeling resentment all right. This exercise seemed pointless and he didn't see way he should have to waste his time going over things in his past that were better left there.

He started to rise saying, "I'm not going to do this!"

The guru replied in a harsh voice, "Then you will be throwing away all that you have accomplished so far. If you walk away you will never be able to fire bend with any real force."

Zuko glared at Guru Pathik and said, "I don't _want_ to do this!"

"That is exactly why you need to do it."

He stared at the man for a long time and then slowly sat back down again. He could feel his heart beat start to accelerate and he tried to take deep breaths to calm himself.

The guru said softly, "Close your eyes and relax. Try not to focus on the task at this time. Just focus on your breathing."

Zuko did as he was told and soon he found himself relaxing. As calm settled over him he opened his eyes and looked at the guru.

The old man said simply, "Now you are ready to begin."

**A.N**. First off - I have been trying to upload this for four days without success. Augh!

Anyways, I broke this chakra up into three chapters as there was much to write. This chapter sort of softened out Katara's mood in the previous one. Many people remarked on her "attitude". Yes she was not very nice but she is very conflicted in her feelings and is fighting an attraction to someone that she feels she should hate. I tried to show that here. I hope it worked.

Also, I find that when I write the guru the voice of Yoda keeps popping up in my head. I don't want to write him that way. I also don't want him to seem overly involved in Zuko's love life. I do feel that he has kind of taken Iroh's place for the moment but he and Zuko are dealing with some heavy stuff so there would be bonding of some sort.

Last of all I felt that because of the nature of Zuko's shame that he would try very hard to resist exploring his past in regards to these memories. He was abused by his father in a very traumatic way so that is why I had him fight it at first.

Hope you liked it and thanks to all who reviewed. I took it all to heart and appreciated it greatly. Now on to Part II!


	11. Chapter 10 The Fire Chakra Part II

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

_All words in italics are direct quotes from the series and used thanks to Avatar Spiirt._

**The Fire Chakra (Part II)**

**Zuko sat in silence as the guru began to lead him through the task**. "Search your feelings Prince Zuko. What is it in your past that has caused you to feel weak or insecure? Look to the events that have fostered your own self doubt or created a sense of unworthiness within you. These things will help you to understand your shame and eventually unlock this chakra."

Closing his eyes he focused on his breathing again. Slowly he let his mind drift over his past. His childhood passed before his eyes and he searched for times when he felt disappointment or rejection. Suddenly he was back in the palace. He was with his father and Azula. He had been practicing a new move all week and he was ready to perform for his father. As he stood ready to perform he could feel his father's harsh gaze on him. His need to please Ozai overshadowed everything else and he found himself trying too hard once he began his task. The movements were jerky and his bending was not as good as when he practiced with his master. When he finished he could feel his father's displeasure before he even looked up.

His sister snickered beside him and then said, "Let me show you what I have learned father."

With that said she started on her forms. Her efforts were flawless and when she finished her father grinned and said, "Well done daughter."

Oh how he longed to hear words of praise like that from his father but never in his life had they come. As far back as he could remember he had always failed miserably at fire bending in his father's eyes. The pain hurt him to the core but it also drove him to try harder and do better. But no matter how hard he tried and no matter what he mastered, Azula was always there to make his victories seem like failures.

He suddenly found himself in the throne room watching Azula perform. Her words echoed in his head, "_You'll never catch up." _

He feared in his gut that she was right; he would never catch up to her. He would never be good enough. Once again he tried and he failed. His father's disappointment was clear and Zuko felt completely inadequate. He only wanted to please Ozai but he couldn't do it. He wasn't good enough.

Once again images from his youth raced before his eyes; failure after failure. He could feel the despair that this caused within him. His memories settled on one event in time; this one more recent. He was back at the North Pole. Having captured the Avatar he found himself unable to return home. The frustration at having succeeded in his quest but not being able to follow through unleashed a fury inside of him.

He remembered his words at the time mirroring the anguish that he felt inside. "_I finally have you. But I can't get you home because of this blizzard. There's always something. Not that you would understand. You're like my sister. Everything always came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy and everyone adores her. My father says she was born lucky. He says I was lucky to be born…"_

The pain of those words still haunted him. He sometimes wondered if his father wished that Zuko hadn't survived his traumatic birth. It was obvious that he saw Zuko as a disappointment. Still he loved Ozai and continued to do everything in his power to prove that he was worthy of love in return.

He let these painful memories wash through him until he came to a point when he was about fourteen. All his failures up until that point had been nothing compared to what was to come. As he started to relive that fateful day he found himself resisting again. His eyes shot open and he stared at Guru Pathik.

"I don't think I can do this." He said in a shaky voice.

"Have faith in yourself Zuko. You can do this. It will not be easy but when you have finished you will be free of this shame forever."

Zuko continued to gaze at the old man. He could feel his heart rate speed up again as he thought about what he was about to relive. A cold sensation seeped into his body and a sense of dread permeated every pore. He knew he had to face this part of his past but he was afraid. Still it had to be done. Closing his eyes he tried to relax and let the memories come again.

After a few minutes he started to feel heavy as if in a trance. His chest felt as if a weight were resting there pinning him down to face his past. This time there would be no escape. His will was strong and he would deal with this no matter what the cost.

Soon he found himself back in his father's war room. His generals were all gathered to discuss various military plans for upcoming battles. Zuko could see himself sitting beside his uncle. He looked so eager and excited to be there. But then he heard talk of sacrificing new troops to win a certain battle against elite earth benders. He knew in his heart that that was wrong. Those men deserved to fight honorably in a fair battle. It was cruel and unjust to use them as simple bait in a plan to lure the earth benders into battle. Unable to hold his tongue he spoke out. He could see all the faces turn to look at him. They condemned him for his actions.

Suddenly he was back in his own body; not just a witness to the past but an actual participant. He could feel his father's angry glare on him and he didn't have to look up to know that he was disappointed. By speaking out he had failed again and he could feel the shame rush through him. All he wanted to do was please Ozai but he only managed to dissatisfy him time and time again.

The scene shifted and he was in the battle arena ready to fight the agni kai. He could feel the shock and horror as he turned and faced his father. He had never thought that it would be his own father that he would fight. His legs turned to jelly and he could feel his stomach tighten. He prayed that he would stand firm and not shame himself further by becoming ill in front of all of these people. He started to plead with his father.

"_Please, father, I only had the fire nation's best interest at heart! I'm sorry I spoke out of turn!"_

His father only replied_, "You will fight for your honor."_

Prostrating himself on the floor in front of his father he pleaded_, "I meant you no disrespect. I am your loyal son."_

"_Rise and fight, Prince Zuko!__  
_Zuko remained bent forward. Looking up at his father with tears running down his face he cried out_, "__I won't fight you."__  
_His father looked disgusted and said_, "You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher."_

With that his father pulled back his fist. As he released his hand Zuko could see the flames blazing. The blast aimed in his direction. Time slowed down as he watched with something akin to fascination as the flames shot towards his face. He couldn't believe that it was happening and a part of him denied what was about to take place. Suddenly the flames reached his face and he screamed out in pain. He could feel his flesh start to burn. He could smell the sickening stench. But most of all he could hear the roar of the crowd.

He lay on the floor writhing in pain and around him the crowd cheered. He felt the humiliation creep into his being and realized that the physical pain was nothing compared to the indignity of the reaction of those around him.

The man he was now struggled to break free of the trance that trapped him in the past. His chest heaved painfully and a flush crept through him. He screamed out and clutched his face but still he could not seem to wake himself from the state he was in. He could hear the guru uttering words to soothe him but he couldn't respond.

"Prince Zuko these are only memories. You need to pull back from the pain. You are safe here in the present. Relax."

But he couldn't relax. He couldn't breathe either. His throat constricted as the pain enveloped him. He lay on the floor of the battle arena unable to escape from the past. He felt himself slip out of consciousness. He could hear the guru calling to him from far away but he couldn't break free of the trance he was in. All around him it became black and all he could feel was a throbbing in his head as he lost touch with the world.

**Zuko awoke to the sound of Guru Pathik's concerned voice.** He opened his eyes and saw the old man hovering over him. "What happened?" he asked still dazed from sleep.

"You became too involved in your past. The painful memories overwhelmed you and the line between the past and the present became blurred."

Sitting up he rubbed his temples and tried to clear his head. "I was back at the agni kai. My father… he wanted to teach me respect. I haven't let myself relive that day in that kind of detail in all the time since it happened."

"Traumatic events like that are hard to revisit. I would guess that is why you resisted it so much. But now that you have gone there you can begin to heal."

Zuko stared at the guru. "I don't know where to begin."

"You must go back to each event and understand how you felt and why. Start with your earlier childhood struggles. Unlocking those will make what happened more recently easier to deal with."

He thought for a moment and then said, "When I was younger I tried very hard to please my father through my fire bending but he was always disappointed in me. As I progressed in my training I couldn't help but feel anxious whenever he would watch me. I knew he was judging me and I knew that I would come up lacking in his eyes. I could never succeed. And to make matters worse my sister was always there showing me up and making me look like a fool."

"I have heard about your sister before. Even Aang was afraid of facing her. She is a force to be reckoned with and a very powerful bender. All the hard work in the world may not have ever given you the edge you needed to become better than her. Still everyone has their weakness just as we all have our strengths as well. Though your skills may not be as advanced as hers you possess other talents that in the end may make you stronger and superior. Chances are she knows that. Her taunts may be her way of keeping you from focusing on your strengths. As long as you let shame hold you back you will never defeat her."

Zuko had never thought of it that way. He had just seen himself as inferior. He had backed down from her time and time again because he doubted himself yet he was a good bender and an even better fighter. His skills were diversified. He did not have to rely on his bending itself to defend himself. He had proved that repeatedly in his battles over the last few months. And under Uncle's tutorage he had become even stronger as a bender.

This realization gave him a new sense of confidence. He may not possess her natural talent but he had a drive and determination that would carry him far. And more importantly he had a soul, something he doubted Azula possessed. Her cold and calculating ways may aid her in battle but it would not win her the war.

This small victory was short lived as he came up against his father's disapproval and the agni kai. Looking back over that fateful day he started to pick it apart moment by moment. Everything always came back to his stand against the plan to sacrifice the new division of soldiers. Thinking it over he came to one conclusion, if he had to do it again he would still speak out in defense of those men. What was being proposed that day was wrong and he would never be able to live with himself if he had remained silent. Whether he showed disrespect or not was not the issue. In his heart his honor truly hinged on defending his people. It was just not in him to sit back and let such an injustice occur.

Suddenly his mother's parting words came back to him, "_Remember this Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are." _

He had always thought that she had meant to remember his heritage; the fact that he was royalty. But now he understood the truth behind her words. She understood the type of man his father was and she knew that Ozai would try to crush that part of Zuko that cared for those around him. She had been pleading with him to stay true to his values because in adherence to those values he would find his honor.

He took in a deep breath at that realization and looking at the guru said in an awed voice, "I never lost my honor. Everything I did was just and right. I remained true to my values even though it came at great cost. I have no reason to feel shame for my actions."

The guru smiled at him and said, "You can now see the truth young prince. This is what others have known all along. You _are_ a man of honor."

Zuko couldn't help but smile in return. He had dealt with what had been a very painful part of his life and in his excitement he waited for the rush of energy that showed him that he had indeed opened the chakra. But after a few moments nothing came.

Looking at the guru in confusion he said, "I don't feel any different. I don't think that I opened the chakra."

"That would be because there is something else that brings you shame; something that has been overshadowed all these years by the pain of your father's rejection and disappointment in you. You will need to search deeper within your heart to find what this is."

Zuko looked at him with a stunned expression. "How could there be something else? Wasn't this experience painful enough? I can't do this again. Something must be wrong here because I know that there is nothing else!"

The guru replied in a calm voice, "If you had faced all that brought you shame you would have opened the chakra. There is still more work to do and you will need to draw on your new found faith in yourself to carry you through this."

Zuko could feel the anger begin to creep in again but that was quickly replaced by despair. Whatever this was it was obviously going to cause him more suffering than the previous exercise. Part of him was afraid but a greater part of him knew that he would have to do this. He had come too far today to turn back now.

"Ok, I am willing to try." With that he sat back in his familiar pose and prepared to face whatever lie ahead.


	12. Chapter 11 The Fire Chakra Part III

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

_All words in italics are direct quotes from the series and used thanks to Avatar Spiirt._

**The Fire Chakra (Part III)**

**Zuko sat for some time focusing his energy on searching for the root of what was blocking this chakra**. He began to grow frustrated as time passed by and he gained no knowledge or insight. Opening his eyes he took in the sights of the room. He was aware again of the murals on the walls around him. He still felt unease at the sight of these pictures but he now found that he could not tear his gaze away from them. He looked from one scene to the next. All of them depicted a happy, serene life within the temple.  
Again he found that he was saddened by the presence of children at the temple. When he thought of war he automatically thought of trained soldiers and experienced benders facing off against each other. But here at the temple it had not been like that. The people who died here a hundred year ago were not just adults but children and young children at that.

As he continued to stare at the pictures he found the images start to change. He rubbed his eyes thinking that maybe it was exhaustion playing tricks on him but as he looked up again he noticed that it was not his imagination. The people within the pictures were no longer happy and full of life. What he saw now were the charred remains of hundreds of people. They stared at him with vacant, lifeless eyes. In his mind he could hear them accusing him, "You did this to us; your people, your nation, your ancestors. This was all your fault!"

"No!" He screamed out at the voices. Falling back on his hands he started to scramble away. "I am not to blame for what happened here. I wasn't even alive when the Fire Nation attacked."

The voices were silent but the images remained and he recoiled in horror from them. Quickly he shut his eyes to try to blot them out but they wouldn't go away. He tried to calm himself but it was no use. His mind could not handle what was happening. Maybe the stress of this day had been too much and he had lost his mind.

Slowly he opened his eyes. He prayed that the images would be back to normal; that maybe this had all been some horrible dream. He looked again at the mural and to his relief it was as it was when he first arrived. He let out a pent up breath in relief but found that that was short lived.

The room around him was somehow different. Everything seemed fresh and new. It was as if the past hundred years had faded away. He looked down and noticed that his clothing had changed. He was dressed in a garment much like that of the Avatar. He noticed his hands. They were not his hands but the chubby hands of a young child.

Panicked he looked to the guru but the old man was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly he heard explosions around him. There were fire benders here. But how could that be? The Avatar said that they would be safe here. Had Azula found them? His mind tried to grasp what was happening when a adult air bender came running into the room.

Running towards him she yelled, "Pavan you must leave quickly. Find your bison and go. The Fire Nation has come for us."

Instinctively he understood that he was this boy. He was Pavan. He didn't understand how or why this was happening but he did know one thing, he needed to get to his bison. The animal had been given to him just last week and he needed to protect it with his life. As he rose to his feet a blast of flame shot through the room. The woman in front of him flew through the air landing by his feet. He stared at her lifeless body. What was happening? He heard someone approaching and looked up. Coming towards him was a fire bender. He couldn't see the man's face because it was hidden behind a mask. Fear seeped into his very core and he found he couldn't move. The soldier pulled back his arm and somehow he knew what was coming. His fear broke and he took off running.

As the blast blew by his head he could feel the heat scorch his skin. Not bothering to look back he kept running. He knew where he was going. He had to get to the stables. He had to protect his bison. Around him he could hear the screams of other air benders as they met a similar fate as the woman from earlier. He blocked the cries as he ran for his life. He could feel his lungs ready to burst from the effort but he knew if he stopped he would die.

He rounded a corner and came to the stables at last. The fire bender from earlier was on his heels. Finally he came to the stall which housed his bison. The animal was hunched back in the corner of the stall and he knew that it was afraid.

Catching his breath he said, "Its ok… I'm…here now. I'll… protect… you."

He approached his friend and extended his hand to pat the animal's head. He heard the blast but his mind couldn't register what was happening. All of a sudden he felt an intense heat spread through his back. The force of the blow sent him sprawling at the bison's feet. He heard successive blasts being fired and noticed the hay around him catch on fire. He could hear his bison cry out in pain but he couldn't move to comfort the beast. Somewhere in his young mind the realization that he was dying began to take root. Tears streamed down his face as he thought that he had so much more to do. He would head to the Southern Air Temple soon to begin training. Soon he would become an air bender. Maybe he would even get to train with the Avatar. But none of that would happen. As the flames licked his flesh he began to scream.

**Zuko opened his eyes at the sound of his voice**. The pain from the fire was excruciating and he had screamed out from it. Looking around him he was back in the room he had started in. His breathing was hard and labored as if he had truly run a great distance. He could feel the tears as they streamed down his face and he wondered just what had happened a moment ago.

The guru sat across from him with an odd expression on his face. "I see you are back with me again."

Zuko became even more confused. "What do you mean? I've been here all along, haven't I?"

"Physically your body was here but for a while your spirit had traveled elsewhere."

"How can that be? I've never experienced something like that before."

"When you were sick back in Ba Sing Se you came into contact with the spiritual realm. That is how we were able to communicate before you arrived here and I would suppose that that is how you were able to travel outside of your body just now."

"But I wasn't just outside of my body." He replied in a shaky voice. "I became someone else. A small child here at this temple back before the war. For a moment I lost touch with who I was." And then in a whisper of a voice he said, "I lived this boy's last moments before his death."

The guru grew quiet for a moment and then said, "You have been given a special insight as to what really happened here one hundred years ago. This is not without a purpose. You must use the knowledge that you have gained so that you can figure out just what it is that you are keeping from yourself. What is the true source of your shame?"

Zuko tried to steady his breathing. The experience had been so real and terrifying. He had always viewed the Fire Nation victory over the Air Nomads as just that A great military victory. He had never given thought to the thousands of lives that were lost. He never let himself believe that his nation could do something so horrible. But his vision had shown him just how sickening it really was.

Closing his eyes he tried to relax and focus his thoughts on the war. He felt that somehow that must be the key to why he was unable to open this chakra. Once again he found himself back in his father's war room. That fateful moment he had spoken out in defense of the soldiers had changed his life forever. But seeing it now without regret or shame he realized something else. That day was the first time that he began to have doubts about whether this was truly a just war. Until that point he had never questioned the Fire Nation's need for conquest. The other nations were barbaric and backwards. The Fire Nation yielded not only strength but possessed the technology to ensure a better way of life for all. It was their duty to see that the rest of the world became as civilized as they were. But were they truly civilized? Sacrificing their own citizens to win a battle. To him that seemed barbaric.

He thought back to the Earth Kingdom village that he had visited some months earlier. In his mind he could hear the taunts of that thug Gow and his fellow 'soldiers' as they reported the fate of Lee's brother.

_Just thought someone ought to tell you, your son's battalion got captured. You boys hear what the Fire Nation did with their last group of Earth Kingdom prisoners?_

_Dressed them up in Fire Nation uniforms and put them on the frontline unarmed, way I heard it. Then they just watched._

Their words had enraged Lee's father Gansu but they had also infuriated Zuko as well. Of course he now realized that his anger was for a completely different reason. It bothered him that these were the tactics that the Fire Nation had stooped towards to win the war. It was inhumane and without honor.

In his time spent on the run the past few months he had seen much to attest to the lengths that the Fire Nation would go to ensure victory and he had also witnessed the fallout of these actions.

He could see Song talking about her past. _When I was a little girl, the Fire Nation raided our farming village. All the men were taken away. That was the last time I saw my father._

And then later she had shown him the burn marks on her leg from that day. He knew the pain from being burned but he was a bender and it went with the territory. She was a young girl, an innocent. Yet she had been caught up in the war by force against her will and for no other reason than Fire Nation Conquest.

His thoughts shifted and he thought of the others that he had met in his travels. Lee's family had been torn apart by the ravages of the war. His brother was most likely dead and who knew what would happen to his father. He then remembered Jet. He had been driven to the point of madness by the Fire Nation. His need for revenge clouding his view of the world.

And of course there was Katara. Her words that day beneath Ba Sing Se still tore at his heart. _You have no idea what this war has put me through; me personally. The Fire Nation took my mother away from me._

She had lost her mother to the war and from what he had gathered her father had been off fighting for some time now. He remembered the day he had come across her village. They were defenseless against his forces. If he had wanted to he could have wiped them out. Of course if he had been Zhao or Azula that would have been exactly what would have happened. Somewhere along the way the people in power had grown too superior with it. They lost sight of everything but victory. People became just pawns within their plans.

As he thought about this he remembered something else that Katara had said that day. Something that hurt him even more_. You're a terrible person, you know that? Always following us, hunting the Avatar, trying to capture the world's last hope for peace! But what do you care? You're the Fire Lord's son. Spreading war and violence and hatred is in your blood._

Her last few words haunted him. Was spreading war and violence and hatred in his blood? Was he just like his father? Had he become what his mother had begged him not to? Suddenly everything fell together for him. He was not like his father and he didn't want to be. Yet everywhere he went people were always comparing him to Ozai. It was like with Lee. He and his entire village stood behind Zuko until they found out who he was. Then they drove him out of town. It didn't matter what good he had done. He was Fire Nation and therefore he was evil.

And then there was Jet. He had been all for Zuko joining his band of Freedom Fighters until he discovered that he was a fire bender. After that he tried everything in his power to expose Zuko and have him thrown in jail.

He felt as if he was always in conflict with himself. There was the man he wanted to be. The man he truly was in his heart. And the man that his father had tried to force him to be. Now he understood that he couldn't be that man. He couldn't be like his father or his ancestors before him. He longer saw the justification for this war and he realized that all he really wanted was peace.

His drive for capturing the Avatar had always been the need to restore his honor and return home. He never gave thought as to what his father planned to do once he had the young monk in his clutches. But after his vision he realized that the boy would not live to see the end of the war. Fire Nation victory depended on the Avatar failing in his mission.

Understanding dawned on him as he realized that the reason he was still unable to open this chakra was because he had been unable to face the true shame he felt deep in his heart. He was ashamed to be Ozai's son: it wasn't that he didn't love his father but that love had driven him down a path that would destroy the balance of the world. The pain and suffering that he had witnessed in his exile would only be the beginning if Ozai's plans were carried through.

He thought back to his argument with Uncle beneath Lake Laogai.

"_I know my own destiny uncle."_

"_Is it your own destiny? Or is it a destiny someone else has tried to force on you?" _

"_Stop it Uncle. I have to do this."_

"_I'm begging you Prince Zuko! It's time for you to look inward, and begin asking yourself the big questions. Who are you? And what do you want"_

He saw that Uncle was right. He was following a destiny that his father was forcing on him. He realized now that it was not the destiny he wanted. He did not want to be responsible for such pain and suffering. He did not want to see people like Katara destroyed in the name of Fire Nation victory. As much as he disliked the Avatar he realized that he didn't want to see the boy die at the hands of his father either.

Back beneath Ba Sing Se his uncle had said that he was at a cross roads of destiny. That he had a choice to make. Uncle had said that Zuko was stronger and wiser but he just hadn't been ready then. Now having faced what brought him shame he realized that he didn't have to follow the path his father had laid out for him. He was ready to choose his own destiny and that destiny was one of peace.

In that instant of recognition he felt a rush of energy course through his body and he realized that he had finally let go of the shame that had plagued him for so long. He was truly free to choose his destiny and follow that path. He no longer needed to bend to his father's will because he controlled his own fate. He was in charge of his destiny and he possessed the will power to see it through.

Opening his eyes he looked at the guru and smiled weakly. This battle had been long and hard. Never in his life had he struggled as he had to open this chakra and he was proud that he had faced it and met with success. Still the victory was bittersweet. He had relived many painful moments from his life and experienced horrors that he wished he hadn't. He felt sorrow for the small child whose life he shared a moment of before his deathHe also felt a profound loss as he realized that his father was not quite the man he had envisioned him to be.

He had much to think about. Looking around him he noticed that it was dark outside. The guru smiled and said, "This has been a long and difficult journey. It took you much of the day to accomplish. I suggest we head back to camp so that you can rest."

Sleep sounded good. The power he had felt earlier when he opened the chakra had seemed to dissipate as his exhaustion took over. Getting up he started his way back to camp. With the guru beside him he walked silently still thinking over all that had occurred. Tomorrow he would have much to deal with. Everything that he had believed about his life had changed and somehow he would have to convince Katara and the Avatar that he was sincere in his desire for peace. Somehow he would need to convince them to let him join them on their quest to defeat the Fire Lord and end the war.

**A.N.** _**This chapter was the brain child of Wren Sharpbeak! She gave me this idea back when I asked for feedback a while ago. I had always believed that Zuko didn't see eye to eye with his father but the idea that he was ashamed to be Ozai's son was very intiguing. I hope I did her idea justice.**_

I hope the beginning wasn't too weird. I wanted it to help Zuko break through his block and it tied into why the guru really chose the room.

I hope to post again soon but life is getting quite hectic at the present. I do need to write for my other story so I have a chapter going on that one but I will return to this soon. The next chapter should offer a little more Zuko and Katara interaction - on a more pleasant level! Also Katara will get a little 'therapy'time with the guru as well.

Please let me know what you think. Reviews are always appreciated!


	13. Chapter 12 Moving Beyond the Past

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**Moving Beyond the Past**

The sun was quickly making its way into the sky as Katara found herself putting away the dishes from their morning meal. Iroh and Aang had left some time earlier to practice fire bending and once again she found herself alone with Zuko. He had yet to wake and she didn't expect him to for awhile. It had been late last night when he had returned to camp. She had woken to the sound of his body falling exhaustedly onto his sleeping mat. Judging by the position of the moon in the sky she knew that it was late, or to be more exact very early in the morning.

She couldn't help but wonder as to why this chakra had taken him so long to unlock. It seemed to her that he was opening them at a pretty brisk pace. But the last one had been different. She was surprised to find herself worrying last night when he hadn't returned by dinner. She had grown accustomed to their routine and found herself wondering if maybe the real reason he hadn't returned was that he was still mad at her for how she had treated him the previous day.

Having had time to cool down she now found herself a slight bit embarrassed by her outburst in the cavern the other day. He had been very kind to her the night before when she had had her nightmare and then again that afternoon when he brought her to the waterfalls. She should have tried harder to be nicer to him but when he had mentioned that the water chakra was blocked by feelings of guilt she couldn't help but blurt out her response. It was rude of her and she wished that she could blame it on too much time with Sokka. But she knew that it wasn't Sokka who was to blame. It was her own lack of self control.

Being with Zuko was very confusing for her. He had always been their enemy and it was hard for her to see him any differently especially after what had transpired between them back in Ba Sing Se. She had believed in him then; had wanted to give him a chance. But he had turned on them and sided with Azula and the sting of that betrayal still hurt. Yet here he was trying to change. She knew that his time with Guru Pathik was exhausting. Aang had confided in her just how much energy it took to open the various chakras. It was a very demanding process and required a great deal of humility. If Zuko was serious about this journey then he would have to face some pretty nasty demons. And from what little she knew about him he had a lot of demons to contend with.

The knowledge that he was trying to change made her feel guilty for not giving him a chance. She wanted to but she was afraid. It was hard to explain but she had felt so drawn to him back in Ba Sing Se that it frightened her. He was her enemy and yet she was surprised at the ease in which she had forgiven him. But he had let her down. Now she feared that if she let herself trust him again he would turn on her just like before. Or would he? Maybe his time with the guru really could make the difference. Maybe if she gave him the chance he would truly join in the fight with them and help defeat the Fire Lord and end the war.

Now that was wishful thinking, she thought to herself. She doubted that Zuko would ever want to fight with them to bring down his own father. Still back in Ba Sing Se he had mentioned something about being free to choose his own destiny. Maybe if he opened all his chakras he would follow a path that would end the war. Maybe his destiny lay in peace.

Sighing she shook her head to clear it of these wistful thoughts. She was placing upon his shoulders her hopes for the future. Who knew what he truly wanted. She wondered if he even knew. Maybe he would help them but judging by his past actions she would be a fool to put too much faith into that belief.

Finished with her task she sat back to rest for a moment. More than likely she would spend the day alone since he was obviously tired from the previous day's activity. As she sat debating what she would do with her time Guru Pathik came walking up to their camp. She looked up and smiled at the old man and said simply, "Good morning."

He returned her smile with an even bigger one and responded in kind. "Good morning to you Katara."

She looked to Zuko and then back at the old man and said, "I don't think that he's going to be up for anything today. He hasn't moved since he returned this morning."

"Oh I would say not. The prince had a very exhausting day trying to open the last chakra. He will need plenty of rest not only for his body but also his soul. Much was accomplished yesterday but that kind of progress comes at great expense. It will be best to let him be."

He smiled again at her and she wondered why he had come. Voicing her question aloud she asked, "If you aren't going to work with Zuko today then why are you here." He laughed at her statement and she found herself blushing furiously at her rudeness. "I'm sorry," she stammered, "That came out wrong. I didn't mean to sound like I didn't want you here."

"Well that is good because I came to see you young water bender!"

She looked at him quizzically and replied, "You came to see me?"

"Yes I did. You have been here for well over a week and I have yet to get to talk with you. And after all that the boys have told me about you I felt that I would be missing out on something very special if I let you leave this place without spending any time together."

This revelation made her giggle. She knew he was speaking of Aang and Zuko but it was funny to hear them referred to in that way in the same sentence. Looking at him she said, "I can't even imagine what they have told you." In fact she didn't know if she wanted to hear what Zuko may have said especially after the other day.

He laughed heartily and replied, "Both boys have much respect for you. You have shown them great care and kindness and they are much indebted to you."

That statement caused her to look away. She knew that she hadn't shown Zuko much kindness at all over the past week. She seriously doubted that he felt anything towards her except resentment. "Maybe Aang feels indebted to me but I don't think Zuko would share in those sentiments."

The guru was quiet for a moment and then said gently, "Whether you realize it or not you have given the young prince a second chance. By healing him you have afforded him the opportunity to make amends for his past. For that I think he is very grateful to you. He may not say as much to you but that is his way. Sometimes one does not need to use words to convey their true feelings. Someone like Zuko speaks more through his actions. His true feelings are often kept hidden but if you look closely you will see them as clear as day."

She thought about that for a moment. Maybe the guru was correct. After all he had spent much more time with Zuko than she had. Looking up at him she found that she had no reply to his statement. Suddenly she felt awkward sitting there. Seeming to sense her discomfort he put out his hand to her and said, "How about we go for a walk. It is truly a beautiful day and there is much to see here at the temple. I am sure that the young prince will not even miss us if we wander off for a while."

She smiled and took his hand. A walk sounded nice. It would probably do her some good to spend some time with the old man.

**The guru led her to a part of the temple that she hadn't explored yet. **They crossed over a bridge that led them to another mountain peak that bore more structures that made up the temple. Stopping at a balcony that looked down on the buildings below he turned to her and stated simply, "The air temples have such a majestic quality to them."

She nodded in agreement and walked over to the ledge and looked out at the view. It was truly breath taking and she wondered, not for the first time, how much more beautiful this place would have been back when Aang lived here.

They stood gazing at the sights for a few moments when the guru spoke again. "The Air Nomads were such a unique people. They had such a simple approach to life and cherished all living things. The sense of community here was like no other place I have ever been. It was as if their whole community was one large family and their bonds of love were very strong. Aang grew up with a great sense of belonging and it has been difficult for him to reconcile to his family being gone."

He grew quiet and Katara thought about what he had said. She responded in a soft voice, "When Aang brought us to the Southern Air Temple we didn't know what we would find. We knew that the Fire Nation had killed all the air benders but Aang held out such hope that they had survived that I couldn't bring myself to crush his dreams. Yet when we got there it was obvious what had happened. And then we found Gyatso..." she grew silent and when she spoke again her voice was hoarse from holding back her tears. "Aang was devastated by Gyatso's death. It was the first time that we had ever witnessed him go into the Avatar State. It was a pretty scary sight to see but more so because I knew that he was in so much pain. I could understand his pain though because I had felt the same way when I lost my mother and I told him so. In fact Sokka and I both told him that we were his family now and that we would protect him no matter what. That seemed to help because he came out of the Avatar State at that point." Growing quiet again she tried to regain her composure. After a moment she said, "I always hated when he went into the Avatar State because I knew that it was pain that usually triggered it and I hated to see him hurt like that."

"It always is hard to see the people you love in so much pain." The guru replied. "But Aang is a very lucky boy. I think that the spirits were looking out for him that day you found him in that iceberg. He is very lucky to have such a loyal and loving friend. It is because of your love that I believe he has been able to move towards his destiny."

"But Aang is the Avatar. He has always been strong enough to face the future." She replied.

"All the power and talent in the world is not enough to face what is to come this summer. Without love Aang would never succeed. It is your unconditional love for him that has helped him to follow his true path and work towards fulfilling his destiny."

She felt herself blush and replied, "You give me too much credit."

"Oh no Katara, it is you who underestimate yourself and the power of love. Unconditional love is the greatest thing that we have. Without it we are lost. It is that love that allows us to try, knowing that we may fail in the attempt. Without it we become fearful of our every move and doubt our talents and abilities. We begin to see our worth measured only in our successes. Life loses its joy and we become tortured souls feeling lost and undeserving of love or even happiness. Your acceptance of Aang, your unconditional love for him, has made him strong and has given him the hope and drive that he will need to face the Fire Lord."

She remained silent at his words. She hadn't done anything special. Loving Aang came naturally to her. She couldn't help but want to protect and encourage him. He was her best friend and she loved him like family. Finally she spoke, "Loving Aang has been easy."

"Has it been?" He asked. She looked at him quizzically and he continued. "I am sure there have been times when young Aang has tested your patience. Has he not hurt you over this past year?"

She thought about that. "Well of course there were times when he's driven me crazy. He's still a child after all. He does things that can be exasperating and sometimes quite aggravating but we all have our moments. I mean my brother drives me nuts but I don't hold that against him. I still love him just like I still love Aang."

Guru Pathik smiled at her statement and said in a pleased voice, "That is exactly why unconditional love is so powerful. It frees us from worry and brings a sense of peace and security. It is a sad person who measures his self worth and ability to be loved buy how perfectly he lives his life. Everyone deserves to be loved just as they are faults and all. That is what the Air Nomads strove towards and that is why Aang has bonded so well with you and your friends. He recognizes that love and responds to it with great joy. In fact I would go as far to say that it is love that will truly save this world, for it is love that drives us all towards peace."

She stared at him in amazement at what he had said. Tears streamed down her face but she didn't even notice. Love had always come easy to her. Her family and her village had been centered around love and community. She had never felt unloved around her people. In fact it wasn't until she had lost her mother to the Fire Nation that she had ever experienced hatred; their hatred for her people and then her own hatred for them. The feelings that the Fire Nation stirred in her had made her uncomfortable. She did not want to feel that way. Too many times this past year she had been witness to the pain that hatred and the need for revenge had brought to those caught up in it.

Suddenly she found her thoughts travel to Zuko. She had been so conflicted in her feelings for him since they had arrived here. Hating him took so much energy and she didn't want to keep up the battle with him anymore, but loving him the way that she loved Aang seemed impossible. He was so temperamental and irritating. Being around him was like walking on eggshells. She never knew when he may explode or more so when she would. In her heart she knew that it was she who was resisting peace with him. She was holding a grudge and she wasn't ready to let it go. Not yet; maybe not ever.

Turning away from the guru she looked out over the mountains before her. She thought back to Ba Sing Se. She had lost much in that city. She had also faced many painful things from her past. Running into Jet had been hard for her but then Aang had insisted that they trust him in order to find Appa. She hadn't wanted to give him a chance. He had hurt her before and she didn't want to be hurt again. And so she had held back her forgiveness. Now she wished she hadn't. Jet had died protecting Aang. He had sacrificed his life so that the world could still have a chance at peace. It pained her to leave him behind but it pained her more to know that she had never let him know that she had forgiven him.

Now she was faced with a similar dilemma. Zuko had abused her trust as well and the result of his actions had nearly cost Aang his life. But he was trying to change just as Jet had tried to start his life fresh. He too was looking for forgiveness. And once again she couldn't give it. She reflected on what the guru had just said. Everyone deserved to be loved, even Zuko. But could she love him. Could she forgive him like she had forgiven Aang or her brother all the times they had done stupid things?

She could feel her stomach knot up. She hated to be so rigid but she was afraid. When all was said and done she was afraid. She didn't want to be hurt again. She wanted to feel at peace but she knew as long as she held back her forgiveness that peace would never come. Decisions had to be made and quickly. She silently prayed that she would find her way. That when the moment was right she would trust her heart and let go of her fears. Loving Aang had been easy. Why did loving Zuko have to be so hard?

**A.N.** I wrote this chapter to soften the previous one between Zuko and Katara but more so to set the stage for their next encounter and the following chakra. I think that Zuko's need for unconditional love is what drove him to do everything that he has done in the series and though he gets its from his uncle he is so blinded by his need for Ozai's love that he can't see it.

I also wanted the seed planted in Katara's mind because she will deal with this in the next chapter. I also want to clarify that I am not talking romantic love at the end of this chapter. That will come but Zuko needs to be accepted as he is - faults and all - before he can even begin to deal with that kind of love.

Thank you to all who responded to the last series of chapters. I am glad to see that so many people enjoyed them so much. Hope you enjoy this one and I will try to post soon.


	14. Chapter 13 Acceptance Part I

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**Acceptance (Part I)**

**Zuko awoke to the feel of the sunlight on his face**. Slowly opening his eyes he gazed around camp only to find it deserted. Uncle and the Avatar must be fire bending he thought but where was Katara? He sat up slowly and grabbed his head as a sudden bout of nausea swept through him. Opening the fire chakra had been difficult and he was left feeling exhausted even after sleeping for hours.

Moving slowly he rekindled the fire and put a pot of water on to boil. Fortunately they had run out of the Huang Qi yesterday morning and he found himself actually looking forward to a cup of Uncle's jasmine tea. As he waited for the water to boil he thought back over the past day. He had resisted facing his past knowing that reliving it all would be very painful but he had not been prepared for the discoveries that he had made as he progressed through the chakra. It amazed him that he had been harboring feelings of shame about being his father's son. He had always looked up to his father but after he was exiled things had started to change. Now he realized that he did not want to follow in his father's footsteps. The knowledge was freeing but at the same time he felt hollow inside. Facing all the things that brought him shame had hurt more than actually living them. He may be free of his shame but he wondered just how long he would feel this new pain.

He sat in silence preparing the tea when Katara came back to camp. He looked up at her and smiled weakly and she returned his smile with one just as strained. He wondered where she had been and was about to ask when she spoke up instead. "Guru Pathik came by this morning."

"Really? Did he want to work on the next chakra with me?" He asked.

"No, actually he came to see me." And with that said she sat down on her mat opposite the fire from him. "He said that you would be too tired after yesterday and that he had come to see me instead." Her expression took on a far away look and she continued, "We went for a walk. He shared some interesting thoughts with me. I have a lot to think about."

She grew quiet and he waited for her to speak again. Finally when it became obvious that she was finished talking he said, "Would you like some tea?"

Looking up at him she replied, "No thank you." And then grew quiet again. After a few more moments of silence she decided to speak once more. "Zuko about the other day..." She paused and started to fidget nervously with her hands. "I was way out of line to speak to you like I did. Sometimes I just blurt things out before I think them through. I shouldn't have made fun of your feelings and I'm sorry."

He sat stunned at her admission. He admitted that her words the other day had infuriated him but he wasn't immune to saying things when he should just keep his mouth shut. "It's ok Katara. I deserved it."

"No you didn't!" She stated emphatically. "You were trying to share with me something that was obviously difficult for you and I just threw it back in your face. I should have been a little more respectful of your feelings."

Her statement left him feeling a slight bit embarrassed. A few months ago he may have expected an apology; heck he would have demanded one. But now he just felt awkward. Not knowing how to respond he simply replied, "Thank you."

That brought a smile to her face and he felt better knowing that he had said the right thing. Again they sat in silence until she spoke up. "So... that last chakra must have been pretty difficult... I mean it took you a lot longer to open than the other chakras."

He thought about that and replied, "It was very... complicated. There was a lot more to it than I would have first believed."

She looked at him for a moment and then said, "You know there's something different about you today than all the other times you've come back from the seeing the guru."

"I don't understand." He answered.

"Well it's just that in the past you always seemed sort of... I don't know... elated I guess. Even when you've been tired you still seemed energized. But today you seem... weary. Like you wrestled a platypus-bear and lost."

That brought a small smile to his lips and he replied, "I feel like I wrestled a platypus-bear." And then looking down he said in a quieter voice, "Opening that chakra was harder than anything that I have ever done before. Even though I was successful I felt deflated."

"Now I don't get it." She replied. "Why would you feel deflated?"

He continued to look down knowing that the pain of the past day's memories would show clearly on his face. "I had to confront a lot of things from my past that I really didn't want to relive again. It was very hard to do and exhausting. Some things in life are better left alone." And without thought he brought his hand up to his face and touched his scar.

Suddenly he could hear Katara get up from her mat. Looking up he saw her approach and then sit down beside him. Having her this close made him feel uncomfortable but when she spoke he soon regretted ever opening his mouth to begin with.

In a whisper of a voice she said, "Zuko, what was this chakra about? More so what was it blocked by that caused you so much pain?"

He looked away from her not sure if he could face yesterday's memories so soon but wanting to share his feelings with someone. In a hushed voice he replied, "Shame; this chakra was blocked by shame."

She sat quietly for a moment and then said, "Shame? That's not something I would have thought would give you trouble. You always seemed so proud to me... like you bowed to no one... you know royalty and all."

He smiled a bittersweet smile and then turning to face her said, "Being proud has nothing to do with it. Shame is simply a reaction to how I perceived things that happened in my life. I knew that I would struggle with this chakra and I almost backed out... but my desire to see this through outweighed my resistance to reliving the most painful moments in my life."

He could tell that she was thinking over what he had said and was carefully considering her next words. When she finally spoke her voice was very hushed and he could tell that she was a slight bit uncomfortable. "The other day you said that your father banished you shortly after the agni kai. You said that your burn had yet to heal... I just wondered... did that have something to do with this chakra? I don't know what an agni kai is but I figured it had to do with your scar."

He sucked in his breath at her question. He hadn't quite expected her to ask that. Still he had mentioned it to her so he did owe her an explanation. Looking away again he replied, "In my country a person's honor is his greatest asset. It is the one thing that we all share in common. Rich or poor, nobility or commoner, everyone values his honor." He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts and then continued, "When one person calls another person's honor into question it is very serious. An agni kai is a duel, or more specifically a fire duel, in which the two people involved battle to prove their honor. It ends when one of the combatants dies or surrenders in disgrace."

She made a face and replied, "That's so cruel."

"It's the way of my people. It's how we've done things for generations."

"But you said you were fourteen when you were banished. Isn't that young to fight in a duel that could result in death?" she asked.

"If you're old enough to challenge another person's honor then you are old enough to fight." He answered.

She seemed to stiffen at the coldness in his voice. After a moment though she asked, "Zuko, why were you involved in an agni kai? And why didn't your father try and stop it?"

He remained silent, unsure if he really wanted to go through all of this again. Running his hands through his hair he let out a sigh and then bowed his head. A sense of anxiety seemed to wash over him as he contemplated what to say or if he should say anything at all. Suddenly he felt her hand on his arm and as he looked up into her eyes she smiled reassuringly at him and said, "I'm sorry Zuko. I don't want to bring you any more pain. If you'd rather not talk it's ok with me."

That simple gesture gave him all the resolve he needed. He found that he did desire to share this with her. He needed to be open with her and he wanted desperately for her to understand. Gathering up his courage he slowly started to recount the story of that fateful day in his father's war room.

**Katara sat stunned listening to his story**. She had always thought the Fire Nation brutal in their dealings with the other nations of the world but to sacrifice their own people to take a tactical advantage was absolutely heinous. "I can't believe that that general would propose such a plan but then to punish you for speaking out against it... that's just wrong."

"Remember I was just a kid. I was wrong to speak out against the general. My uncle warned me beforehand that these men did not like to be challenged but I couldn't help myself. I reacted from my gut and didn't think about the consequences until it was too late."

"Yes but what about the consequences for all those men in that division? They were facing certain death. I mean back at the North Pole when we were facing the Fire Nation Navy we knew that there was a chance that we would die but we took that chance. We had a choice in the matter. But to blindly go into battle trusting that your superiors are looking out for you and then have them betray you to gain an advantage over the enemy is completely unfair. If anyone should have been disgraced that day it should have been that general for proposing such a plan."

He grew silent at her remarks but she noticed a slight smile grace his lips. Finally he responded, "I used to feel great shame over what I did. By speaking out I started something that changed my life and my destiny. My honor ended up being at stake as well and when I lost the agni kai I lost so much more than I could ever have imagined."

"So you had to battle the general because of what you said?" she asked.

"I thought so and I was prepared for it but when I faced my opponent that day it wasn't the general at all."

He grew quiet and looked away. Katara waited for him to continue but he remained silent. She wondered just who he had to fight but she knew who ever it was it was a source of great pain for him. She felt bad for him. He had stood up for his people and was punished for it. Seeing him in so much pain reminded her of that time when Aang had confided in her about his shame over running away from the air temple and leaving his people to face the Fire Nation alone. It had been hard for him to relive his past and she knew that this was just as hard for Zuko. Back in that cave she had comforted Aang and helped him to come to terms with his feelings. In her heart she knew that Zuko needed comfort too.

Reaching out she took his hand in hers and lacing her fingers through his she gave it a squeeze. He turned back and looked at her with an expression of wonder on his face. In that moment she realized that the last thing that he expected from her was compassion. How many times in his life had he faced pain and sorrow with no one to turn to for reassurance? How many times did he have to deal with his troubles alone?

Looking into his eyes she smiled and said, "You know you were right that day. No matter who you had to battle to prove your honor you were right."

He held her gaze and responded, "By opening the chakra yesterday I let go of my shame over that day but the pain of what happened still hurts. If I had faced the general and lost it would have been one thing but it didn't happen that way." He looked away and then said softly, "It was my father. When I turned and faced my challenger it was my father."

Once again he grew silent. She too was at a loss for words. How could his own father face him in a duel? Father's were supposed to protect their children not harm them. No wonder he felt so much pain. Instinctively she tightened her grip on his hand causing him to turn back to her. What she saw made her heart break for him. Never in her life had she seen someone so tortured by their grief. For the first time the mask of self control was gone and she saw a side of Zuko that she never knew existed under that cold exterior.

Not knowing how to respond she simply said, "I am so sorry."

He stared at her for a moment more and then said, "I never expected it to be my father but by speaking out in his war room I had disrespected him. I had no choice. I would have to duel him."

"But to fight your own father... that must have been horrible." She whispered.

"I couldn't do it." He said softly. "In the end I couldn't fight him. I begged for mercy. I pleaded with him. I told him that I had meant no disrespect. But he wouldn't hear any of it. He told me to fight and when I wouldn't he decided to punish me." His hand went to his scar again and the ugly reality of it all hit her hard.

"Your father gave you that scar?"

"By refusing to fight I dishonored myself. My weakness was punished. The scar is my mark of shame... _was_ my mark of shame. I don't see it like that anymore. I know now that I never lost my honor that day but still... it hurts to know that he could do that to me... his own flesh and blood... his own son."

With that he bowed his head. She sat quietly taking in what he had said. Looking down she stared at her hand in his when suddenly a horrible realization took root in her heart. His words came back at her painfully. _I begged for mercy. I pleaded with him. I told him that I had meant no disrespect. But he wouldn't hear any of it. _His father had shown him no mercy. Katara always envisioned the Fire lord as a terrible person and knowing what he had done to his own son did nothing to change her opinion of the man. But understanding dawned on her and she realized that she had treated Zuko no better than his own father. He asked for her forgiveness on several occasions since they arrived at the air temple but she had refused to give it to him. She had wanted to punish him for what he had done. She had wanted him to suffer and so she had withheld her forgiveness. True forgiveness. Just like his father she had shown him no mercy.

She had never felt smaller in her whole life than at that moment. Softly she spoke as tears began to roll down her face, "I'm so sorry Zuko. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok Katara. It's over with. You don't have to feel sorry for me."

"No, you don't understand." She replied. "Since we arrived here last week you asked for my forgiveness and I refused to give it. I'm no better than your father..."

Turning abruptly he let go of her hand and reached up to grab her by her shoulders. In a harsh voice he said, "You are nothing like my father! You have every reason to resent me. I have done nothing but hurt you since the first time we met. Even after all of that you healed me. You gave me a second chance to change my life and I am very grateful for that."

"But you deserve mercy. Everyone deserves to be forgiven their wrongs..."

His grip on her shoulders lessened and his voice softened as he spoke, "Katara you have shown me more compassion and mercy today than I have received from anyone in a long time."

She looked up at him and said sadly. "I don't want to hold on to these feelings any more. I want to forgive you and I want to trust you... it's just hard to do."

Her words brought a bittersweet smile to his lips as and he said in reply, "I don't ever want to hurt you again like I did in Ba Sing Se. I want to have your trust but I am willing to wait." Releasing her shoulders he ran his hands down her arms and then taking her hands in his said, "I need to get up and walk. Would you like to come with me?"

Returning his smile she said, "I would like that very much." And as they got up and started to leave camp she felt the tightness that had formed in her chest earlier start to fade. Walking hand in hand she realized that she felt strangely comforted by his presence and she began to think maybe loving Zuko wouldn't be so hard after all.

**A.N. **This was originally supposed to be one chapter but it got too big. The next part is necessary to the story so please bear with me.

Just a little clarification - love in this stage of the story is still very platonic even with all the touching. Zuko needs to be shown compassionate love and Katara is not quite ready yet to move on to anything else.

Also Uncle has shown Zuko unconditional love all his life but Zuko doesn't quite see it yet. Just wait for the next chakra.

Hope you enjoy. Part II is hopefully on the way soon!


	15. Chapter 14 Acceptance Part II

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**Acceptance (Part II)**

Zuko and Katara walked hand and hand through the grounds of the air temple. Neither of them spoke. He assumed that she was lost in her thoughts just as he was after their discussion earlier. His hollow feeling from opening the chakra had lessened somewhat and he knew he owed that to Katara. When he had confided in her about his past he never expected her to be so understanding and so... caring. It had been a long time since he had felt just a simple touch during his times of sorrow. In fact after his mother left there was no one to offer him any physical comfort. By the time his uncle had returned from the war he had hardened his heart so much that he refused the old man's gestures of affection. And after a while Iroh had stopped offering them.

But today Katara had broke through all of the defenses that he had built to protect his heart. Her simple act of touching his arm and then holding his hand helped him to face the story of the agni kai more than any words could have. Now she had said that she was willing to try to trust him. That declaration gave him a strange feeling in his stomach and kept bringing a smile to his face. He wanted nothing more than to repair the damage he had done weeks ago in Ba Sing Se and now she was willing to give him a chance.

Instinctively he tightened his grip on her hand and she looked up from her thoughts and smiled at him. They stopped walking and took a look around. In front of them was another opening to the stables.

"It looks like we managed to walk the whole exterior of the building." Katara remarked. The stables were massive. He figured housing so many creatures would take a considerable amount of space. Their camp was at one end and only accounted for a minute part of the whole building. Staring at the opening she asked, "Do you want to walk back through the building? I can show you the saddle that I found for Appa."

"Sure." He answered and they entered inside. As they progressed further into the stables he felt an uneasy feeling start to creep over him. An odd sense of déjà vu gripped him and he realized that he had been here before. This was the path that he had run last night during his vision. Suddenly he felt a flush spread through his body and his hands started to feel tingly. An unreasonable fear came over him and he wanted nothing more than to get out of there.

Before he could bolt though they came upon the stall that he had entered in his vision. Suddenly the sense to flee left him and he became rooted to the ground. Unable to move he stared at the sight that greeted him. The stall itself was empty but he could see scorch marks from where the fire had consumed the young child and his bison. His body went numb as he took it all in and the realization that Pavan had really existed made him feel a sorrow so profound that he found it hard to breath. Beside him he could hear Katara calling to him but he couldn't respond.

He felt her let go of his hand and grab his shoulders. "Zuko look at me. What's going on? What's got you so upset?"

He looked at her and finally found his voice. "I've been here before... last night... I had a vision... I saw a young boy... no I _was_ the boy." He stopped to gather his racing thoughts and then blinking he looked at her and said quietly. "I lived the last moments of this child's life. He died when the Fire Nation attacked the air temple." He grew silent again and then whispered, "He died in this stall. He was protecting his bison and a Fire Nation soldier killed him."

He heard her suck in her breath and then say, "That's horrible."

He replied more to himself, "He was just a child." And then moving away from her he walked around the stall running his fingers over the marks on the walls. "This temple housed many children. I never knew that. I just always pictured the battle with the Air Nomads being between benders. I never thought of the women, children, or..." But he found he couldn't continue. What kind of monster was his great grandfather? How could he order the extermination of an entire race?

Katara spoke, her words mirroring his thoughts. "Aang is just a child himself yet Fire Lord Sozen was prepared to kill him. Why should it be so surprising that he would kill all the other children as well?"

Turning back to her he said, "The history books that I read as a child told of the great victory that started the war. It was written about with words of glory and praise for our troops but it was never mentioned at what cost that victory came. I knew that we had eliminated the Air Nomads but I never let myself truly realize what that entailed. Facing it yesterday was horrifying. I understood that boy's fear... I felt his pain."

"I can't imagine how terrifying that must have been... for you to relive it but also for this child to face death in such a horrible way."

"All to eliminate the Avatar." He said softly. Then remembering stories from his youth he said, "My great grandfather was rumored to have not gotten along too well with Avatar Roku. From what I've heard he wanted Roku to help him defeat the other nations of the world but he refused. After Avatar Roku died my great grandfather waited for the next avatar to be born and to mature. But then he discovered the comet and realizing he could use the power from that he launched his attack. By striking the Air Nomads he planned to eliminate the Avatar as a threat, at least for a while.

And it seemed to have worked. Sozen believed that he had killed the air bending avatar. In time he figured that the Fire Nation would again eliminate the next Avatar in the cycle. When my grandfather Azulan took the throne he searched for the new avatar amongst the Water Tribe. He figured that enough time had passed and that the next avatar would be mature enough to start training."

Katara stared at him in shock. The understanding of what he was implying was clear on her face. In an awed voice she said, "All those raids... all those times that the Fire Nation invaded my home... they were looking for the Avatar?"

Silently he nodded his head. She clenched her hands into fists and stated angrily, "That Fire Nation ship that was frozen in the ice outside of my village... that was from your grandfather's first attack."

"Well technically my grandfather never left the fire nation but yes that would have been from the raid that he ordered."

In disbelief she said, "All these years they were looking for the Avatar amongst the water tribe. No wonder my grandmother was so leery of us going near that ship." She grew silent and then as more thoughts ran through her mind she said, "We used to be a great tribe. We could have rivaled our sister tribe to the north but slowly our benders were killed in the raids until almost no one was left. When my father went off to fight the in the war he took our warriors with him as well as any benders that had survived. There was no one to teach me to water bend..." Suddenly she sucked in her breath and looked at him with renewed horror. "My grandmother always discouraged my bending. All these years I thought it was because she didn't want me to go away but in reality she was trying to protect me."

"Even if the Avatar had been reincarnated into the Water Tribe he or she would have been close to one hundred years old by now."

"Yes but the fear from those raids still held on in her heart. She lost her daughter, my mother during the last raid. She had a right to be afraid."

He bowed his head as he listened to her. His nation had done so many terrible things in this war and he couldn't justify any of it. As he thought about what she said she spoke up again and asked, "Were you looking for the Avatar amongst my people? Is that why you were in the South Pole when we found Aang?"

Looking back up he said, "No, I never believed that he had died. I was looking for an old man; an air bender. My journey had taken me to many places but fate always seemed to draw me back to your home."

"So it was just a fluke that you were there that day." She replied.

He thought about that and then said, "I wouldn't call it a fluke. At the time I thought it was luck but now... now I think there may have been more at play. Maybe I was supposed to find the Avatar... but not for the reasons I originally believed."

**Katara stared at Zuko**. "What do you mean by that?" she asked.

He hesitated for a moment and then said, "When I found him that day all I cared about was going home. The Avatar was just a means to an end. Our destinies were intertwined only because he was the key to restoring my honor. But now I realize that I never lost my honor. The need to return Aang to my father is gone." He grew silent and seemed to become slightly agitated. Looking away from her he said in a whisper of a voice, "Back in Ba Sing Se my uncle asked me to search my heart and find what it truly was that I wanted. He encouraged me to seek my own destiny not the one my father was forcing on me." He paused for a moment before continuing. Turning to look at her he said, "Maybe I was supposed to find the Avatar and help him return to the Fire Nation so that he could end the war."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was he really talking about joining forces with Aang to defeat the Fire Lord? Did he really want peace? "Zuko are you saying that you want to help Aang end this war?"

"This war is wrong. I realized that that day in my father's war room but I was so blinded by my need to restore my honor that I pushed it aside for three years. But now... now after living my life as a fugitive I have seen many things that have rekindled my feelings of doubt. The Fire Nation cannot continue on the path that they are on. The kind of power that they posses has only led to abuse and suffering. It needs to end."

"I can't believe that you're saying this. I mean, it's just that you have always fought us every step of the way... you're the Fire Lord's son... I know that coming to that decision could not have been easy."

Looking down he said, "For years my uncle has tried to get me to see the truth about the war. He figured out after the siege at Ba Sing Se that the price of victory was too costly. It took losing his son to show him the truth. He wanted to spare me such pain. But in the end my own rash behavior and need to prove myself to my father created a hell that I couldn't escape. But it was in that pain and despair that I found my way. I know now that I can't continue down that road."

She stood staring at him in shock. To hear him talk like this was something that she never truly thought she would experience. He was turning his back on everything he held dear to do what was right. She realized that she had always had Aang and Sokka on her side in her battles for peace. In fact there were many people who were willing to help but Zuko had no one except his uncle. He stood alone in his decision and yet he was willing to go on.

Speaking softly she said, "You know it takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing."

Looking up he said, "I don't feel very brave. In fact I've never felt so... I mean... it's just that making my decision was one thing but now what do I do? Where do I go? I've burned too many bridges over the last year. Who would really want me on their side?"

With that he turned his back to her and hung his head. When he spoke again his voice was strained. "After all I'm nothing but a banished prince. No friends. No home..."

Her heart went out to him. He seemed so alone. How long had he lived without someone to love him? Or more precisely how long had he gone without affection from the person that he desired it the most, his father. In her mind the words that Guru Pathik spoke only hours before came back to her. _Unconditional love is the greatest thing that we have. Without it we are lost. _It was obvious to her that the Fire Lord's love came at a great price. Zuko had suffered tremendously at his father's hands and the scars from his life went much deeper than the one he received at the agni kai. For him love had to be earned. It was not something given freely.

In that moment she saw just how different he and she were. Love was something that always existed for her. She could always rely on the people closest to her to help her and to forgive her. But Zuko didn't have that luxury. Again the words of the guru came back to her. _It is a sad person who measures his self worth and ability to be loved by how perfectly he lives his life. Everyone deserves to be loved just as they are faults and all. _Suddenly she realized that her conversation with the guru hadn't been about Aang at all. It had really been about Zuko. Aang had her love and he had known love all his life. Zuko on the other hand was alone except for his uncle and she realized that that wasn't enough. He needed acceptance from other people as well. He needed acceptance from her and eventually Aang, her brother, and Toph if he was going to continue on in his convictions.

Reaching out she placed her hand on his back and said, "Zuko, you could come with us. You could join us and help bring an end to this war."

Slowly he turned and faced her. His expression was hard for her to read. He was obviously battling within himself to maintain control. For all he had been through he was still very proud.

This thought made her smile. He really was trying so hard to change. Stepping forward she placed her arms around him and gave him a hug. He stood stiff for a moment and then slowly she felt him return the gesture. As his grip tightened she could feel a slight tremble run through him and she knew that she had done the right thing. He needed love. He needed someone on his side. Without that he would never be able to face the hard times that lay ahead.

They stood embracing for some time before he finally found his voice. In a whisper he said simply, "Thank you."

Instinctively she held him tighter. She wasn't sure how it had happened but they both had changed. The feelings that she had buried since Ba Sing Se came flooding back and she realized that the bond that they had formed there had never truly been severed. They were connected in some way; she just wasn't sure how. Still she felt in her heart that even though his destiny may be tied to Aang's, hers was tied to his. And amazingly instead of scaring her that thought brought her comfort.

**A.N. **Just a few things about this chapter. The story about Roku and Sozen was just speculation based on things that I have read. The idea of searching for the next avatar in the cycle was something that seemed plausible and drew the chapter in the direction that it needed to go.

I hope this chapter worked well with the other one. I have thought it out so many times in my head but putting down into written form was harder than I thought. I don't want Zuko to seem pathetic but I do want him to be somewhat shattered. His life is slowly be taken apart and put back together in a very traumatic way.

Also a lot of this talk about love will come back in the next chapter as Zuko tackles the next chakra.

Thanks again to all my reviewers. Your imput is always appreciated!


	16. Chapter 15 The Air Chakra

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters_

_All quotes in italics were taken from story transcripts available through _

**The Air Chakra**

**Zuko sat awake on his mat**. The sun had yet to rise in the sky but he found that he couldn't sleep. His mind raced with so many thoughts that it was impossible to rest. In the course of a short few days so much had changed. He had faced many things but none as surprising as his time spent with Katara yesterday. He had wanted to make peace with her and he realized that he needed to work with her and the Avatar to end the war but in the end he had found it so difficult to express that to her. Somehow she had figured it out; answering the question before it was even asked. She had offered her friendship and the chance to belong. She had done so before back in Ba Sing Se but he had screwed that up. The thought of messing up again and losing her affections, possibly for good this time, scared him.

As he sat caught up in his thoughts he didn't notice the guru approach until the old man sat down next to him on his mat. Seeing the man suddenly appear beside him startled him and he jumped. This caused Guru Pathik to chuckle softly. "Lost in our thoughts are we?"

Zuko blushed and replied, "A lot has happened since yesterday. I just needed to clear my head."

"Well I hope you haven't taxed yourself too much. We have another chakra to work on today and I have a feeling that you will need all your energy to focus on the task at hand."

This did not bode well, he thought to himself. Still he would rather get on with it. "Maybe we should go now then." He said.

"Ah rushing out before your morning meal? Are you sure you don't want to eat first?"

Remembering how twisted his insides felt the last time he didn't think eating would be the best thing. "I'm not that hungry now. I'll eat something when I return."

The guru smiled and said, "Well then let's go."

They walked for some time in silence until they came to a balcony that overlooked the mountains surrounding the temple. Sitting beneath the shade of a large tree the guru motioned for Zuko to do the same. Joining the old man he assumed his usual meditative position and waited for the guru to speak.

"The next chakra that you are going to work on is the air chakra. It is located in the heart and deals with love. This chakra is blocked by grief. I want you to think back over your life and examine the losses that have brought you suffering. It is important that you face these things so that you can finally let the pain from them go."

Zuko took in a deep breath and released it. He was still shaken by the last chakra and the thought of living through more painful memories was not very appealing to him. He looked up at Guru Pathik and the old man smiled reassuringly at him.

"It is natural to resist visiting those things that bring us sorrow but you must face them if you are to ever to move on."

Zuko nodded his head and closed his eyes. Resisting the last chakra had done nothing but bring him more frustration. He knew that the best thing to do was to let the memories come and deal with this head on. As he sat there he cleared his mind and focused on his past.

Suddenly he felt a warmth envelope him and he felt safe and secure. Opening his eyes he saw his mother standing before him. She was smiling at him and offering encouragement. Reaching out her hand she gently brushed his cheek. "It's ok my son. Trust in your heart and believe in yourself and you will get through this."

He reached out to touch her but she vanished. "Mother!" he called out. "Mother please come back." But she was gone. The loss was almost as hard to bear as the first time she left. He closed his eyes again to block the pain. Images from his childhood started to play out in his mind. He could see his mother and him playing happily in the palace gardens. She always had time for him and he loved those moments when she would play hide-and-seek or other such games. Sometimes Azula would even play and the three of them would laugh together. His mother always seemed to have a way to keep his sister in check.

But as time went by Azula withdrew from her mother's affections and she began to find ways to taunt him instead of play with him. His mother remained close and their relationship changed and became something more. He knew that she would be there for him when he couldn't live up to his father's demands. Whenever Azula would master some new technique and he was left to feel the failure his mother would offer him encouragement and he would find the strength to continue on.

Her love never came at a price. She accepted him as he was because she knew that he tried so hard to do well. His failures didn't bother her because she knew that in time he would learn and grow and eventually master what it was that he was struggling with. He loved her so much and when she felt joy he too felt joy. When she felt loss he too was saddened to see her so distressed.

The images in his mind shifted again and then settled on the moment when his mother tearfully told him about Lu Ten's death. The news shocked him but her grief overwhelmed him. It was also the first time in his young life that he had lost someone close to him. The idea that those he cared about could suddenly be gone was very frightening and he worried about his mother and his family. What if something happened to one of them?

Of coarse it wasn't long before he had to face that fear. He could still remember his mother waking him and speaking in hushed tones, "_Zuko, please, my love, listen to me. Everything I've done, I've done to protect you. Remember this Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are." _ And things had changed. His life was never the same again. Without his mother around there was no one to protect him from his father's wrath; no one to defend him against Azula; no one to love him.

Once again his eyes flew open and he stared into the serene face of Guru Pathik. He was stunned to feel tears streaming down his face. Softly he spoke, "My mother... she disappeared... I loved her so much... it was as if a part of my soul was taken away when she left."

"She loved you as well; maybe one of the few people who you have ever felt truly cared about you?" the old man responded.

Zuko looked down and said, "She left because of me. I don't know all the details but I know that she did something to protect me and it cost her everything."

"Who would she have to protect you from?" the guru asked.

Zuko looked up and in a strained voice replied, "My father."

Guru Pathik held his gaze and said gently, "Not all people are capable of love. Sometimes they are so blinded by their desires that they lose sight of what is truly important. Your mother knew what mattered most and she gave up everything to protect her child. Your father for whatever reasons couldn't understand that."

He looked down again and whispered, "If I had only been a better son..."

Unable to finish he grew silent. The guru spoke up again. "Would that have really made a difference? Were you really such a bad child? I wonder, how could your mother have loved you if you were so unworthy of affection?"

"Because she just did." He simply replied.

"Ah!" the old man replied. "She just did." With that he let out a soft chuckle which caused Zuko to look up. Smiling the guru continued. "That is the key to love Zuko. She loved you for no reason at all. She just did."

"But my father..." he started but couldn't continue.

"That is something that you must face. Losing someone we love is heartbreaking. But there is something even harder to bear and that is never having someone's love at all."

Zuko shut his eyes tightly at the guru's words. They cut him deeply and he knew the direction the old man was pointing him but he wasn't ready to go there. Not willing to give credence to his deepest fears he shut himself off from the thoughts swirling around in his mind.

"I should have tried harder. I should have been stronger." He started but stopped as the memories of his past started to break through his resistance. He felt the heaviness weighing on his heart. As early as he could remember his father was always disappointed in him. Nothing he ever did was good enough. No matter how hard he tried he always let his father down. Still in the back of his mind he knew that if he just kept trying eventually he would win his father's affections.

As his mind raced through all the disappointments in his young life it finally settled on the words spoken by Zhao after his first encounter with the Avatar. Zuko could see himself confronting the older man, taunting him. He knew that he could find the Avatar if just given more time and he was tired of being underestimated by the commander.

"_You can't compete with me. I have hundreds of warships under my command, and you... you're just a banished prince. No home. No allies. Your own father doesn't even want you."_

"_You're wrong. Once I deliver the Avatar to my father he will welcome me home with honor and restore my rightful place on the throne."_

"_If your father really wanted you home, he'd have let you return by now, Avatar or no Avatar, but in his eyes you are a failure and a disgrace to the Fire Nation."_

Zuko had denied the man's words ignoring the pain they caused him. Instead he reacted with anger and challenged Zhao to an agni kai. The possibility of losing didn't matter. He just wanted to prove that the commander was wrong. But even victory couldn't take away the sting of the man's words and the hurt lingered long after that day. They echoed in his mind driving him forward. He _would_ capture the Avatar and he _would_ earn his father's love.

But it never happened that way. Time and again he tried and time and again he failed. Each day that passed brought him further from home and the pain of his disgrace haunted him. Every encounter with Zhao only drove that point home. Up until their final fight in the North Pole the man belittled him at every turn.

_You should have chosen to accept your failure; your disgrace! Then, at least you could have lived!_

But it had been Zhao that had died and Zuko was left adrift upon the ocean with his uncle. He had never felt such deep despair as during those weeks at sea. He knew that time was running out and now he had no resources to hunt down the boy. In his heart he began to seriously question his father's love for him. For years he had put up with the ridicule from others and he found it increasingly harder to push aside their remarks.

As long as he had access to the resources of the Fire Nation he felt secure that he could earn his father's affection. But after the North Pole even that had been taken away and he found himself a fugitive. Cutting his ties with his nation had hurt him deeply but he had no choice. Leaving behind his last link to his past he was forced to abandon his identity and become a refugee.

Through it all though he held onto the belief that his father loved him; he had to. To believe otherwise would be too painful. But now he was staring his greatest fear in the face. Could the guru be right? Could it be that his father never loved him?

"No!" he yelled out loud. "My father loves me. I know that he loves me. If I just try hard enough..."

He found himself grow silent. His words sounded pathetic to even his own ears. All his life he had tried to justify his father's actions but he couldn't any longer. As he opened each chakra he began to see the events of his life in a whole new light and he found that he could no longer deny what was so obvious to everyone else.

Closing his eyes tight against the pain he found himself flooded by images from his past. He saw his father's disappointment at his shortcomings. He could hear the cruel remarks made as he failed yet again to master some of his most basic moves. Nothing he ever did could make his father happy.

Suddenly Azula's taunts from the day that his father challenged his uncle's birthright came back to him. _Dad's going to kill you. Really, he is... I heard everything. Grandfather said dad's punishment should fit his crime. _

'_You must know the pain of losing a first born son, by sacrificing your own!'_

He had denied it then but her words always haunted him. Would his father have killed him if his mother hadn't stepped in? He couldn't believe it. No, he wouldn't believe it. His father would never hurt him let alone kill him. But then a few short years later his father had hurt him. In the agni kai he had begged for mercy but his father was relentless. He burned and disfigured him to teach him a lesson. At the time he had buried his fears and resentment. He rationalized what his father had done by repeating the same words that he had used his whole life to deal with his pain. If only he was a better son... if he tried harder his father would love him... if he captured the Avatar he would be worthy again to be called his father's son.

But now those words rang hollow in his ears. He had been a good son and he had always tried hard to do his best. He realized now that capturing the Avatar would never change the situation. His father didn't love him. For whatever reasons he couldn't give Zuko what he desired the most – his love.

Suddenly his eyes flew open at the horrible realization. Looking at the guru he said weakly, "My father never loved me."

With that he felt his stomach tighten up and he bent over as the need to retch overtook him. It was as if this new understanding was so vile that his body couldn't contain it and he actually began to vomit. Hunched over on all fours he continued to heave until nothing came up but bile.

Shaking and weak he could feel the sweat cover his body. Gently he eased himself back onto his knees. Resting his hands on his thighs he gasped for air. Tears streamed down his face and finding his voice he whispered, "He never loved me... he never loved me."

Looking up at Guru Pathik he asked, "Why? Why couldn't he love me? Why couldn't he just love me?"

Ashamed by his emotions he bowed his head. Reliving the agni kai had been traumatic enough but these feelings were killing him. He felt as if his heart had been wrenched from his body and in its place was an empty, open wound.

Softly he whispered, "I would have done anything to earn his love."

He felt the guru's hand on his shoulder as the man gently said, "Nothing you could have done would have been enough. Your father closed off his heart to love for reasons that you or I may never understand."

"But he loved Azula." He replied in a choked voice.

"Did he really love your sister? I think that if you look deep enough you will find that he used the same twisted manipulations with her as he used with you."

"But he was always proud of her. She could never do wrong in his eyes."

"That might just be your answer. Maybe she couldn't do wrong. Maybe it was just luck that made her so good at fire bending and that skill kept her safe from his scorn. What she believed to be love was never love at all."

Zuko sat quietly thinking about what the guru said. His words made sense but they did little to ease the pain in his chest. Thinking aloud he said, "It still hurts."

"I can imagine it would. A parent's love always seems a guarantee in life but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way. Your mother loved you very much. So much in fact that she was willing to give up everything to protect you. In fact I would say that it was that love that helped you to face your mistakes and try to change. Without her example you would have ended up just as closed off as your father; unable to love or be loved in return."

Zuko stared at the guru. He was silent for a moment and finally said, "All that this has done is make me feel worse. How am I supposed to open this chakra? How am I supposed to move beyond all of this?"

The guru replied, "Let your mother's example of love be your guide. Search your heart and look for those who truly love you. In your life there are people who have filled in the hole that your father has left behind. It is in recognizing their love that you will be able to find the healing that you will need to move beyond this and open the chakra again."

Zuko found himself at a loss. After his mother had left there had been no one to offer him love and support. His father was consumed by his duties as Fire Lord and what little time he had had for him before was now eaten up by meetings with military and government officials. He found that the skills he possessed were not enough to gain his father's attention let alone favor. When his father did have time for him it was clear that he was not happy about his son's progress. The cold words became unnecessary as his disappointment was clear on his face. Zuko found himself more and more a failure, unworthy of love. This was made worse by Azula's continued advancement in her abilities. His father's words of praise for his sister only drove the point home as to what a miserable son he was.

He soon found himself tuning out during those times in his life. Hardening his heart to the taunts and the harsh words of criticism from his family he built a wall between himself and those around him. The warmth that his mother had encouraged in him was gone and to his horror no one seemed to care. He knew that he had no respect from the nobles and the military leaders that milled around the palace. They looked at him as a spoiled little kid with nothing better to do but whine and give orders. But that wasn't how it was. Inside he was dying for attention and most of all love.

But no one seemed to take notice of him. In fact it wasn't until his uncle's return that he found an ally of sorts within the palace. He had always enjoyed his uncle's company before and the older man had a way about him that made Zuko feel important and cared for. But the man who returned from his self-imposed exile was not the same man that he had known before the defeat at Ba Sing Se. Though his uncle still possessed his odd sense of humor and gentle demeanor he seemed to have lost that edge that had made him such an imposing military leader.

Zuko heard the whispers of the people around the palace. They all thought that his uncle was daft. It was rumored that the loss of Lu Ten was too much for the old man and that he had lost his sense of reality. His father tolerated his uncle out of respect for him as the eldest in the family but he knew in his heart that it gave his father joy to see the old man diminished in the eyes of the people. His father had never hidden his dislike for his brother.

Still Zuko couldn't help but feel drawn to Iroh and his uncle soon became his mentor and confidant. The old man would seek him out after his studies and they would spend times walking the palace gardens or having tea together. Zuko was never big on tea but he enjoyed listening to Iroh's stories and found comfort in the knowledge that the old man enjoyed his company.

But everything changed when Zuko challenged that general in his father's war room. Uncle had warned him to keep quiet but when Zuko had been punished for his disrespect his uncle remained silent. He never once reminded him of his earlier warning. He simply stood by his nephew and offered him his love and support. And when the time came he followed Zuko into exile rather than remain in the Fire Nation without him.

Suddenly he realized that his uncle was offering him love; a love very much like that of his mother. Iroh gave it freely and never asked for anything in return. Of course Azula tried to undermine this by telling him that Iroh was crazy in his grief and just saw Zuko as a poor substitute for his own son Lu Ten. The words hurt him deeply and he tried to blow them off but they always were there in the back of his mind, even after the agni kai. He couldn't help but distance himself to some degree from the old man because he was afraid that his sister was right and that eventually Iroh would realize that he would never measure up to his cousin.

But Azula was wrong. Zuko could see that now. Iroh missed Lu Ten and often talked about him but his relationship with his nephew was different. He knew that Iroh could have walked away at any time. After all he was only his brother's son. Uncle had no reason to stay and Zuko realized that over the years he hadn't really given the man many reasons to put up with him. He knew that he could be impatient and when he became frustrated it was usually his uncle who bore the brunt of his wrath. But still Uncle stayed.

Suddenly Zuko thought back to the attack at the North Pole. He remembered Iroh's concern as he prepared to leave to find the Avatar. The old man was worried for him and with good reason; after all he had almost frozen to death in his attempt to secure the boy. His uncle's parting words came back to him, "_I'm sorry, I just nag you because, well, ever since I lost my son__I think of you as my own.__"_

His uncle's declaration had been hard to hear at the time. It had overwhelmed him to think that Iroh could love him so when he had given him no reason to feel that way. It also scared him. His own father had rejected him because of his failures. What If Iroh one day decided that he too had had enough of Zuko's shortcomings and decided to turn his back on his nephew? He knew that the pain of that would be too much to bear so he continued to keep his distance.

Still Iroh stayed true in his words and actions. He never held back on speaking the truth even when Zuko didn't want to hear it. When Azula had presented him with the false opportunity to return home it had been Uncle who had seen through her lies and told Zuko so.

"_Did you listen to Azula? Father's realized how important family is to him. He cares about me."_

"_I care about you. And if Ozai wants you back__ well, I think it may not be for the reasons you imagine."_

"_You don't know how my father feels about me. You don't know anything."_

"_Zuko, I only meant that in our family things are not always what they seem."_

"_I think you are exactly what you seem: a lazy, mistrustful, shallow old man who has always been jealous of his brother."_

His uncle's words had hurt him because deep in his heart he knew that they were true. He regretted his cruel reply but at the time he had reacted from pain and had lashed out at the one person that he knew would take it. And Uncle had taken it. He could have left Zuko to suffer the repercussions of his rash actions but instead he came with him. Once again he was looking out for him just as he had done before when they had faced exile after the agni kai.

Iroh had stood by Zuko through it all; following him as he went from banished prince to fugitive. They faced all these obstacles together and Uncle never complained; never blamed Zuko for his change in lifestyle. In fact Iroh seemed to embrace their misfortune. He took the opportunity to teach Zuko more and more about life even though at times he didn't want to hear it. And when Zuko could bear it no more and decided to go out on his own his uncle had let him.

It was in that memory that Zuko found what he had been looking for. Iroh loved him enough to let him go. He knew what was best for Zuko; always believed in a different path than he was on but he was willing to let his nephew make his own decisions. And when Zuko would return weary from his battles with his self or others his uncle had been there to take him back. Through it all he never criticized him; never lectured him on his mistakes. He simply accepted him and loved him.

Even under Lake Laogai, when his uncle pleaded with him to follow his own path, he never threw his mistakes in his face. Instead he used them to drive his point home and to show his concern for his nephew. Iroh wanted what was best for Zuko and he was no longer willing to sit back and let Ozai or Azula play him for a fool. But in the end Zuko had betrayed him. Turning his back on everything that his uncle had done for him and had taught him he chose to believe Azula. The need for his father's love had blinded him to what had been in front of him all along.

His eyes suddenly grew wide and he stared in amazement at the guru. He had had a father's love for years now he just couldn't see it. Iroh may not have sired him but he was more a father to him than Ozai ever was. He gave Zuko his love and never asked for anything in return. He stayed with him through all the obstacles and hard times and never complained. Loving Zuko had been enough.

Zuko could feel the tears make their path down his cheek again only this time they were bittersweet. Speaking softly he said, "My uncle loved me like a son. He has been more a father to me than my own father." He voice cracked as he spoke and he paused to regain his composure. Eventually he spoke again. "I have not shown him the same courtesy though. I have treated him unkindly over the years."

With that he bowed his head in shame. In a gentle voice the guru spoke, "Love is not a contest. It involves give and take. Sometimes we need love more than we can give it in return. It does not diminish the value of our own love or mean that we are incapable of the emotion. Your uncle realized that you needed healing and time. He gave you his love and continues to give you his love because he knows that in time you will mend your heart. If you were to ask him though I am sure that he would cite many times that you returned his affections and may not have even been aware of it. It is obvious to those around you that you do love Iroh even if you may not be able to see it at times. But rest assured he is well aware of your feelings for him. But even if you were unable to show them he would still continue to love you. His affection for you is as much a part of him as his need to breathe air."

Zuko looked up at Guru Pathik and said, "I do love him. I don't know where I would be if it hadn't been for him."

The words had barely left his lips when he felt and incredible rush of warmth envelope him. Before him he could see his mother smiling again and then beside her started to appear the faces of other people in his life both living and past. He could see Lu Ten standing proud next to her. Beside him was the girl Song who had cared for him and his uncle many months before. He could see Lee and his family as well and even though they had rejected him because of who he was they had showed him kindness and had allowed him to express care and concern as well. Next to him appeared Jen the first girl he had ever kissed. Her gentle demeanor and compassion had helped him to realize that he could find simple pleasure just from doing for others.

And last of all appeared Katara. Images from the previous day flashed through his mind and he reveled in the comfort that her acceptance had given him. She had found it hard to forgive him for his past actions and truthfully she should still feel resentment but yesterday she had put aside her bitter feelings and had consoled him in his grief. Her actions had brought about a healing that he never would have believed possible and left him with a desire to do the same for her.

As the images cleared from his mind he returned his gaze to that of the guru. The old man smiled at him in a reassuring way. Speaking in almost a whisper Zuko said, "I want to see my uncle. There are things that I need to say to him."

The guru nodded and said, "We should go find him. I am sure that he will be eager to see you as well."

Rising slowly to his feet Zuko became the journey back to camp. The sun was starting to set in the sky and he found himself once again amazed at how quickly the time passed while he worked on these different chakras. Though he was tired and sore from the ordeal today he found that he had to keep himself from running the distance to the campsite. He was impatient to see his uncle and in the back of his mind he found a need to be with Katara again as well. This desire surprised him but also brought him peace. For the first time in his life he felt accepted and cared for and he found that he was excited to be able to return the feelings in kind.

_**A.N. **__I would like to dedicate this chapter to my daughter who has helped me to understand just how challenging but rewarding loving and adolescent can be. I have a new appreciation for Iroh (and even more so for my own parents). Also I have new insights into just how hard being a teenager can be - I am glad to be beyond that stage of life!_

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wanted it to be powerful because it was so emotional for Zuko I hope that I conveyed that accurately.

I found it interesting that Toonzone selected Iroh to be one of its top five father figures in an animated series. Of course we all know just how cool he is even without the award!

I hope to update a little more regularly as I am on my summer break but I have much to accomplish in my daily life before work resumes in August. I would like to complete this story before my October due date so I will try to write as often as time and family permits!

The response to this story has been overwhelming and very heart warming. Thank you all for the reviews. This story started out as just an idea to put to paper and has become so much more to me. I really am glad to see that so many people enjoy it! Thanks again.


	17. Chapter 16 A Father's Love

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters_

**A Father's Love**

Zuko made his way quickly back to camp. The eagerness to share all that he had discovered that day spurned him on to keep up the brisk pace. But as he drew closer he felt his steps slowing down and his excitement start to falter slightly. As always he had rushed into this riding the crest of the powerful emotions that he was feeling but as he came across his uncle he found that he wasn't as sure anymore. Old fears began to creep in and against his will he could feel himself beginning to doubt his earlier convictions.

It was at that moment that his uncle looked up at him and smiled. "Ah here comes my favorite nephew!"

The smile and his light hearted words gave Zuko all the reassurance he needed and he felt suddenly renewed in spirit. In a teasing tone he replied, "Uncle I am your _only_ nephew."

"Which makes it all the easier to favor you." The old man replied and then returned to tending the fire.

Looking around the camp he noticed that he and his uncle were alone. "Where are Katara and the Avatar?" he asked as he sat down across from his uncle.

"Katara had something that she wanted to show Aang. They should be back soon. If you're hungry there's still some fruit left."

The mention of food reminded him of just how empty his belly was and he gladly accepted his uncle's offering. Quietly eating the fruit he watched his uncle as he prepared a pot of tea. Looking up Iroh asked, "Would you care for some? It has been a long day and I have been waiting for this chance to sit and enjoy some tea since after lunch."

Zuko smiled and replied, "Tea would be nice."

His uncle gave him an odd look and asked, "Really? You're not just trying to humor me? You really want some tea?"

"Is that so hard to believe? Yes, I would like some. I find that after the past couple of days I would like nothing more than to sit with you and drink some tea." He replied.

This brought an even bigger smile to the old man's face and Iroh poured him a cup and then sat down. "So I take it the past few days have been draining? I have not really had much of a chance to talk with you since you opened the water chakra."

Zuko looked down into his cup of tea and gathered his thoughts. Looking back up at his uncle he said, "I never realized that it would be this hard. The last two chakras have been exhausting. I want to change but if the next few chakras are as difficult as the past two then I don't know if I'll be able to do it."

"Don't sell yourself short." His uncle replied. "Change is never easy and the harder you have to work for it the more you will appreciate its rewards."

"Well I'm definitely not a stranger to hard work. Nothing ever seems to come easy to me." He said sounding a slight bit more petulant than he meant to.

"Standing tall in the face of adversity is what has probably given you the strength to come this far. I have faith in you Zuko. If you want it bad enough I know that nothing will stand in your way."

"Thank you Uncle." He replied softly.

"You're welcome. Now how about you tell me a little bit about what you have discovered."

Taking a sip of his tea he thought about the last two chakras. After a moment he began to relate to his uncle all that had happened as he had worked his way through the fire chakra. He talked of the agni kai and of his realization that he had never truly lost his honor. Watching Iroh as he spoke he could tell that he was pleased with Zuko's discoveries.

He paused for a moment to take a sip of tea and it was then that his uncle spoke up, "So by letting go of your shame about the agni kai and your banishment you were able to open the chakra?"

"Not exactly," he replied, "There was more to it that I had never really thought about before. Or more so had not wanted to face for some time now."

"Really?" his uncle began, "I am curious to hear what that would be."

Zuko looked away unsure of how to begin or of what his uncle would think of him and his plans for the future. To most it would appear that he was turning his back on his nation; that he truly was a traitor. But then Uncle had been at odds with Ozai and the military for quite some time now. If anyone would understand it would be him.

Facing his uncle again he spoke in a soft voice, "For years I have done all that my father has asked of me. I have been his loyal son even after my banishment. But I realized that by being loyal to my father I was not being loyal to myself. Who I am and who my father wants to me to be is not the same person. I cannot follow the path that he has set out for me. Trying to live that way has already proved disastrous. What I did in the war room that day was just proof of it."

He grew silent for a moment and then gathering his courage he said, "I can no longer support this war. All around me I see death and destruction. Peoples' lives have been torn apart just to satisfy the Fire Lords' need for power. No one has been left untouched including our own people. I am not like my father. I do not desire world conquest at the expense of my people." Bowing his head he said, almost under his breath, "I am tired of people judging me because of him."

They both sat in silence at that remark. Finally Iroh spoke. In a voice full of compassion he said, "There is nothing wrong with wanting to be your own person. And you are right; you and Ozai are not alike in your view of the war or the care of our people. Paying for the sins of our ancestors is not easy but you have a chance to change things. You can set the Fire Nation on the road to peace."

Looking up he said, "I have decided to help the Avatar to bring about an end to this war. I know that it may seem as if I have turned traitor to my country but I don't see that I have any other choice in this."

His uncle replied, "We always have choices Zuko. It's just that sometimes the person we are at the time can not see what those choices are." He paused for a moment and then continued with a great sadness to his voice, "Sometimes fate steps in and changes things to such a degree that choices you never even considered before begin to make perfect sense and suddenly seem like the only solution because they are the right answer."

Iroh bowed his head and Zuko noticed a tear run down his face and fall from his chin to the ground. Suddenly he understood what his uncle was referring to and he asked gently, "Like the way that losing Lu Ten changed your view of the war?"

Looking up his uncle smiled a bittersweet smile and replied, "Yes. Losing Lu Ten completely changed my life. I had never thought about the war or its cost in human lives until I lost my son. I did my duty to the Fire Nation by leading them into war. I was confident in my abilities as a leader and a warrior so much so that I began to believe myself to be invincible.

"But then my beloved son was killed and the reality of the war hit me hard. He was my only child. He was my life. And in an instant he was gone. Holding his lifeless body in my arms I realized that the cost of war was too high. Suddenly I saw the men under my command as something more than soldiers. I saw them as somebody's child. I knew that back home they had people who loved them and cared for them and wanted them to return safely. I couldn't let any other parent suffer as I had and so I pulled out of the battle.

"Of course there were many who opposed my actions. My commanding officers were livid. We were on the verge of the greatest victory since the destruction of the Air Nomads and I was running from the battle. In the eyes of the military Ba Sing Se was my greatest disgrace but in my soul I knew that it was my greatest victory. I was given a chance that day to change my destiny and I took it. As painful as it was I grabbed hold of it and followed it where it led me and my life has never been the same. As an old man I can now appreciate the changes in my life; even though it came at great cost. My only regret is that I had to lose my son to see my destiny, to understand the truth of this war."

Zuko thought about what his uncle said. He had never understood before just how profoundly Lu Ten's death had affected Iroh. He had been so caught up in his own suffering that he never thought about those around him. Looking at his uncle he said, "Lu Ten's death changed all our lives."

Iroh stared intently at him questioning with his eyes. Zuko continued on not quite sure of what to say. "When Lu Ten died we were all saddened greatly. It was a horrible loss and my mother and I were very distraught when we heard the news. But my father... well he saw things differently. He looked upon Lu Ten's death as an opportunity. Requesting an audience with Fire Lord Azulon he planned to make his case. After we were dismissed my father stayed behind and pleaded with Grandfather. He mentioned with Lu Ten gone that you no longer had an heir but that he had two healthy children. He asked him to revoke your birthright and to use him as his humble servant."

Iroh's face hardened slightly at Zuko's recollections but he simply said, "That sounds like something Ozai would do. He never made it a secret that he coveted the throne or that he thought he would make a powerful leader."

Zuko nodded his head and continued. "Grandfather did not share in my father's plans. He grew very angry and refused to deny you what was yours. He told my father that you had suffered enough in losing Lu Ten but that his suffering had only begun." He paused for a moment and then said, "Azula and I were hiding behind one of the curtains and we witnessed it all but at Grandfather's outburst I became afraid and ran away. She stayed behind and listened. Later she found me and told me what had happened. But you know Azula, she never tells things as they truly are..."

He found it hard to continue. The pain of that day still haunted him even after all he had been through this past week. His uncle spoke up at that point and asked, "What did Azula tell you Zuko?"

Looking at his uncle he said, "She woke me from a sound sleep and told me that my father was going to..." He swallowed hard and looked away.

"Zuko what was your father going to do?" his uncle said with a little more authority in his voice.

In a rush he let it all out, "She said that he was going to kill me. She told me that Grandfather had demanded that he know the pain of losing a first born son by... by sacrificing his own."

He heard his uncle gasp and then looking up at him he noticed a pained expression on the old man's face. "I can't believe that my father would demand that of Ozai."

"I couldn't believe it either. I told Azula that she was lying but she insisted that it was the truth. She continued to taunt me until mother came upon us. That shut Azula up real quick but my mother dragged her away and demanded to hear the entire story. I fell back into a restless sleep plagued by visions of my father coming at me intent on killing me.

"I don't know how long it had been before my mother came back to my room but she woke me and in a hurried voice explained that everything she had done she had done to protect me. It was like a dream. I fell back asleep and when I awoke she was gone... and Grandfather was dead."

His uncle stared at him with disbelief. "I can't believe it... no I can believe it I just don't want to." With that he stood and turned away from Zuko. In a voice choked by tears he asked, "All these years you lived with this pain, this horrible secret?"

"I didn't know what to do. Mother was gone and father took the throne. Nothing made sense anymore and I no longer had anyone at the palace to turn to for help or guidance. When you returned I didn't want to burden you with it. You had suffered enough already. Besides by then I had built up so many defenses around my heart. The pain of losing my mother as well as my father's obvious dislike of me drove me inward. I didn't want to open myself up to anyone."

Iroh turned back around. His expression was so sad and Zuko regretted sharing this news with him. The last thing that he wanted was to bring his uncle more pain. Rising he walked over to his uncle and said, "I am sorry for bringing you more sorrow. It was not my intention..."

Suddenly Iroh reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders. "No Zuko, you have done nothing wrong. For years I had wondered about what happened. When I found out that my brother had taken the throne I realized that there was nothing for me back home anymore. I wandered the other kingdoms of this world searching for answers and purpose in my life. In my quest I learned many things but in the end I realized that I was wrong about one thing; there was something... or more precisely someone of great importance back in the Fire Nation. I knew that my brother was a harsh man and I never agreed with the way he treated you. One night I realized that by abandoning my home I was abandoning you. My life had been lived but yours had scarcely begun and I couldn't leave you to face Ozai... to become just like him.

"But when I returned I found life very different. I had not known about Ursa. If I had I would have come sooner. And when I found you... well you were right you had hardened your heart but even so I could still see traces of the boy I loved so much. There is a goodness in you that Ozai could never truly erase. And now... after we have been through so much...I see that goodness coming forth... I see you becoming the man I always knew you could be and that makes me so proud."

Zuko stared at his uncle in awe. Suddenly he became aware of the tears that had started to run down his own face. In a strained voice he said, "All my life I have tried to please a man who did not want my affections. I tried to make Ozai love me but I realize that he never truly did. He may have fathered me but he was never a father to me." A small smile began to form on his lips and he said with love, "You are more a father to me than he. You have shown me more affection and understanding in the last three years than he has shown me in my whole life. I love you uncle. I know that I have not shown you that love in the past but ..."

He never finished the declaration as Iroh grabbed him in a fierce hug and held him tightly. They stood silently in that embrace for some time until Uncle released him just enough to look at him and said, "Love given freely does not seek constant affirmation from those it is given to. I knew you loved me even if you could not express your feelings. I was content to find it in the small things that you would do; things that you weren't even aware of. But to hear it like this... I would be lying if I said I wasn't moved. I love you like a son Zuko and I am so glad that I have you in my life."

Smiling in earnest he replied simply, "So am I Uncle. So am I."

**A.N.** I don't know why but I hit an incredible block on this chapter. I started it three different times and still found myself avoiding it like the plague. I just wasn't sure about how to approach the scene betwen Zuko and Iroh but I finally drew my inspiration from _The Avatar State_ when Iroh meets up with Zuko on the way to Azula's ship. The look of genuine relief and joy on Zuko's face was what I wanted to convey here.

Also I know that some people have felt that Zuko has been a little OOC and in this chapter he does cry again but if you have ever been through a similar life experience where everything about your life has been radically changed and you have no choice but to change with it you can attest to how emotionally draining it can be. Having been there I can honestly say that there were times that I couldn't pour a bowl of cereal without falling to pieces.

I would say that Zuko should be getting a slight reprieve with the next two chakras so the story should take on a happier note. For my Zutara shippers out there there will some interaction in the next chapter and then hopefully a little fluff down the road.

Thanks again to all who review this story. You have been an incredible help! Hope you enjoy.


	18. Chapter 17 Redefining Boundaries

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**Redefining Boundaries**

_Katara found herself back home in the South Pole. She was with her family sitting around the fire telling stories. It was her mother's turn and she was very excited because mom always told the most romantic stories. Looking at her mother she smiled giving her all her attention. But as her mother told her story Katara began to have a strange feeling in the back of her mind. Something wasn't right. And then she remembered that her mother was dead. She couldn't be telling her a story. She couldn't be with them around the fire at night because she had been taken from them. _

_As soon as she realized this the dream started to fade and she yelled out a desperate plea, "Please don't let this dream end. Please let me stay a little longer with my mother."_

_But it was no use. Whatever magic had been in place was gone and she found the scene around her start to disappear into darkness._

Opening her eyes with a start Katara looked around her only to find that she was not back home but still at the Eastern Air Temple. She could feel a sadness creep into her being and she thought maybe if she tried hard enough she could fall back asleep and recapture the dream from earlier. Just a few more minutes with her mother, that was all she wanted. But it was no use. She couldn't fall back asleep and she couldn't shake the image of the dream from her memory.

Finding herself now too restless to sleep she decided to get up and go for a walk. She had no idea how late it was. Everyone else was asleep so she moved as quietly as possible so as not to disturb them. Making her way out of the stables she walked a short distance until she came to a clearing. Looking up into the night time sky she was awed by the brilliance of the stars. Up here in the mountains she felt as if she could simply reach out and touch them. Sitting down on the ground she leaned back on her elbows and gazed at the sight around her.

As she watched the spectacle before her she could feel the tension start to leave her body. Thinking back to her dream she couldn't help but miss her mother. It had been six years since the raid that took her life and yet Katara couldn't help but feel the pain fresh in her heart. She wondered if she would ever get over the loss of her parent. People had tried to console her by telling her that time would ease the pain but she found that that was far from the truth.

She missed her mother and as time went by she found that she needed her even more. Things had changed so much in her life over the past year but it was the things inside of her that were changing that troubled her most. She was almost fifteen and soon she would be considered of marriage age by her tribe. She was on the verge of becoming a women and yet she still felt like a little girl inside. Her emotions raged like a storm inside of her and she needed someone to talk to. She needed a woman. She wanted her mother.

Traveling with Sokka and Aang had been exciting but it could be frustrating at times as well. They were so different from her and those differences only aggravated an already tense situation. It was so confusing to love them so much but at the same time want to strangle them. Sometimes she felt like a keg of blasting jelly. One false move and she was going to explode. She knew that her brother had enough sense to stay away when she became so volatile but sometimes even distance couldn't bring her relief.

And now Sokka was gone and she was left with only Aang. Having Iroh around helped slightly. The older man had a way of comforting her just with a simple smile or a few kind words. But Iroh had insisted on bringing Zuko with them and that had been such a source of irritation for her that she didn't think that she would be able to contain her temper at all. But somehow even that situation had changed. She wouldn't have believed it possible, or for that matter wanted it to be possible, but Zuko was different. Working with the guru to open the various chakras had brought about a transformation in the prince that was hard to ignore.

But for her this change also brought about new feelings; confusing feelings. His story yesterday about the agni kai that had left him disfigured and led to his banishment had torn her heart in two. He had suffered so much at the hands of his father that she was amazed that he had the ability to go on. But that was his way. He never gave up or backed down from a challenge. Maybe that was why he was gaining so much from his experiences here at the air temple.

But as he moved towards realizing his destiny she found herself more perplexed by the situation. Before it had been so easy to deal with him; he was their enemy plain and simple. It was easy to hate him and easier to fight him. But now those lines had become blurred. He was no longer her enemy and that meant that she had to find a new category to place him in. She didn't know if she felt comfortable calling him friend but where did that leave him? He was definitely more than just an acquaintance, but a friend, someone whose company she would seek out for comfort or camaraderie, she just wasn't sure.

More unsettling was this strange desire he stirred up in her. Today when he was away from her she found that she actually missed his company. And when she returned this evening to find him with Iroh she felt a sense of excitement down in the pit of her stomach. Being with him lately brought her back to the time beneath Ba Sing Se before he betrayed her trust. She found herself being pulled towards him. It was almost an attraction but yet the thought of that scared her. She could not be attracted to him. He was so moody and temperamental and besides that he was Zuko. Liking him like that would be way too weird.

At the thought of it she let out a slight laugh. Me and Zuko she mused, that would be funny; kind of like oil and water. Way too incompatible to get along. Still maybe... no, no way... she was not going to even entertain those thoughts. Determined to change her current mindset she sat up and took in a deep breath. Letting it out she slowly rose to her feet and stretched. Sitting for so long had made her stiff. Turning to head back to camp she let out a startled scream as the object of her musings was standing only a few feet away from her.

Blushing she said, "You scared me to death! What are you doing out here?" Her words sounded harsh even to her own ears but he had startled her and she had reacted accordingly.

Zuko backed up a few steps. He looked almost embarrassed and when he spoke he faltered slightly. "I woke up and saw that you were gone and I was... well you know... it's not really safe to be out here at night alone... so I thought I would look for you... in case something happened."

He winced at his own explanation and that simple gesture tugged at her heart. It was things like that that made her question her feelings for him. He was worried about her but yet he couldn't bring himself to admit it. Not outright anyway. And that inability to express himself had him all flustered. She couldn't help but chuckle softly. He could be so arrogant at times but yet at this moment he stumbled to find the right words.

In a gentler tone she said, "I was feeling restless and couldn't sleep so I figured that I would go for a walk to clear my head. Instead I ended up star gazing. Sometimes I just need a little time alone to think things through."

"Oh, well if you want to be alone..."

Actually she found that she didn't really want that at all. She hadn't gotten to spend any time with him today and she felt a need to talk. "You know Zuko I think I've spent enough time tonight by myself. If you'd like to stay I could use some company."

At this she noticed a slight smile come to his lips and she knew that she had made the right choice. "Sure I can stay... if you want some company."

"If you don't mind though I do need to walk around to get some of the kinks out of my muscles."

"No, that's ok. I find that I spend way too much time sitting with the guru. Walking would be a nice change."

Turning away from camp they walked in silence for a while until he finally spoke. "So, any reason why you're feeling so restless tonight?"

"I had a dream about my mother and I couldn't fall back asleep. Sometimes I just find that I miss her so much."

"I know what you mean I miss my mother too. Especially after today. Opening the chakra brought back a lot of memories of her."

This piqued her curiosity and she asked, "What was it about?"

"Love." was his simple response.

"Love?" she asked.

"Yes love. It was blocked by grief and I found myself thinking about my mother and how much I missed her."

"So this chakra was pretty straight forward. I mean it wasn't like the last one." She paused as he gave her a quizzical look. "I only say that because you seem in better spirits than yesterday."

"I wouldn't say that it was easy. I actually found it just as difficult. Mourning my mother was just part of it."

He grew silent and she wondered about the other losses he had experienced. She imagined that it had a lot to do with his father. Stopping she turned and faced him. "You've lost a lot in your life."

"No much more than anyone else. You lost your mother."

"Yes but I still had a father who..." She stopped suddenly catching herself before she spoke but the damage was already done.

"What? A father who loved you." He replied bitterly.

Reaching out she placed her hand on his arm. "Zuko I'm so sorry. That came out all wrong. I didn't mean it that way."

"But it's true." He said. "At least I realized that today. All my life I had been trying to earn his love when I shouldn't have had to. He doesn't love me; he probably never did."

Pulling away from her he walked to the edge of the balcony that they had come to. Looking out over the mountains below he said, "I discovered today though that I've had a father's love for quite sometime now only I didn't see it until today."

She walked up to stand next to him. Remaining silent for fear that she would say something else equally as hurtful as her earlier blunder she waited for him to continue. After a moment he said, "Three years ago my uncle followed me in exile. He gave up everything to come with me. He has been my teacher all these years but he has also been something more. Today I understood that. For the first time I could see how much he loved me and how much he had done for me. He has been more of a father to me than Ozai."

"Your uncle is a good man."

Turning to face her he said simply, "Yes, he is."

At that they both turned and faced the view. They remained silent for some time. He didn't seem to mind the quiet and she felt comfortable enough just having him there. The night air was cool and as she gazed out at the moonlit view a soft breeze blew gently by. It was just enough of a chill to make her shiver slightly.

Turning to her Zuko asked, "Are you ok?"

She smiled and said, "It's a little cool out here tonight." And then realizing that she was more warmly dressed than he she asked, "Aren't you cold in the slightest? How come you're not shivering?"

He smirked at her and said simply, "Fire bender."

"Oh come on that's just a myth... isn't it?"

He let out a small laugh and said, "What you don't believe that all fire benders are hot blooded?"

Without thinking she gave him a backhanded slap across the arm, something she had done many times to Sokka when he was trying to annoy her. "You're making fun of me." She laughed.

He continued to smile but turned his gaze back towards the mountains. "Well I guess you can't always believe what you hear."

"So I guess not all fire benders are hot blooded... just you."

"I don't know, I guess I just run warm by nature. Maybe it's a guy thing."

She thought about that. Sokka didn't seem as bothered by the cold as she and Aang traipsed all over both poles with only his air bending clothes to keep him warm and never complained. "You know you may have something there. I mean my brother could sweat in a snowstorm."

He turned to her again and said, "That's just gross."

She laughed at that and then said, "Well you were the one who brought it up."

He grew silent for a moment and then said, "You know there actually is some truth about fire benders being able to regulate their body temperature."

She gave him a look and said, "Oh really!"

"Yes, actually it's called the Breath of Fire. It's a technique that we use to warm our bodies after exposure to extreme cold. I used it in the North Pole after I swam into the city."

"Are you crazy? That water could kill you after only minutes of exposure. I can't believe that you would do something so foolish."

His voice lost its teasing edge and he said, "At that time I would have risked everything to capture the Avatar. Honestly I never thought about the chance that I could die from the cold."

Staring at him she was stunned by the depths that he had gone to to capture Aang. "I can't believe that you would risk your life like that."

"It wasn't much of a life. I hated my banishment and I was tired of being seen as a disgrace."

Looking in his eyes she asked, "You don't think your life is so worthless anymore, do you?"

Returning her gaze he said, "No. My time here has shown me many things about my life. I don't need to live by the terms that my father laid out for me anymore. I'm following my own path and that has given me a new sense of purpose."

She smiled at that and giving him a hug she whispered, "I'm glad." And then pulling back slightly she said, "It would bother me if you took such risks now. I would hate for something to happen to you."

He bowed his head at her remark and she imagined that he was a little embarrassed by her concern. Still she didn't regret voicing her opinion. She would be bothered if something happened to him. Thinking back to earlier tonight she realized that maybe they were becoming friends and surprisingly she found that she liked that idea.

Trying to ease his discomfort she said, "Maybe we should head back to camp and try to get a little rest before morning comes."

He nodded his head and fell into place silently walking beside her. Stealing a glance at him she thought maybe they weren't so different after all. That thought caused her to blush and then smile. Her life had been pretty weird for some time now. Maybe the idea of her and Zuko wasn't too out of sync with everything else that had been happening.

* * *

**A.N**. Okay I've moved past my block but I can't garuntee this kind of speed in the future. I had not envisioned this chapter this way but when I went to write it it just came out like this instead. I kind of like it better.

Just a few things - I read somewhere that Katara's mom died around the time that Zuko's mom disappeared so I went with that timeline. I don't know how true that is but it's fiction afterall so I'm going with it this way. Also I added a little fluff to balance out the serious aspects of the chapter.

I hope you enjoy this one and I will try to post soon.


	19. Chapter 18 The Sound Chakra

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

_All quotes are from the series and taken from Avtar Spirit._

**The Sound Chakra**

Zuko wasn't sure what time it was when he awoke, but he could feel the warmth of the sun on his face. Still holding on to the last vestiges of sleep he lay still with his eyes closed. In his mind he played back his walk with Katara only a few short hours ago. Their time together last night had been nice. He found that he enjoyed being with her more and more with each passing day. Just walking in silence felt right. But then he had surprised even himself by teasing her about being cold. And she had played along with him, joking and laughing. All his life he had been so reserved. It felt good to loosen up and have some fun.

As he thought more about it he realized that he had never really had any friends during his childhood, and after his banishment there had only been Uncle for company. Katara was the first person that he could relate to and feel comfortable around. She knew just how horrible and temperamental he could be, yet she accepted him. The guru was right about her; she didn't enjoy conflict. And in her desire to have peace she had given him a chance; a chance that he did not want to screw up. Gaining her friendship was as important to him as opening these chakras, and at times it was equally as hard. But he knew in the end it would be worth it.

He continued to lie still with his eyes closed when suddenly a shadow blotted out the sunlight directly above him. Opening his eyes he stared directly into the smiling face of Guru Pathik.

"Augh!" he yelled and then quickly scrambled backwards and sat up.

"So sorry, young prince, I didn't mean to startle you. I just wasn't sure if you were still sleeping." The old man responded pleasantly.

"I wasn't really asleep but I wasn't quite ready to wake up either." He replied honestly.

The guru sat back and said, "Usually you are up before the sun, but today it seems as if the day has started without you."

"I was up late." He replied, not wanting to elaborate further.

The old man glanced over to Katara still asleep on her mat and said, "It would seem that our water bender must be suffering from the same problem. Maybe you were both fighting insomnia together."

Zuko couldn't help but blush with embarrassment at the guru's remarks. Looking around camp he noticed that his uncle and the Avatar were already gone. He and Katara were the only ones left sleeping. Looking at the guru he said simply, "We were just talking and lost track of time."

Guru Pathik chuckled at that reply and said, "It is good to see that you two are getting along. I take it that she is beginning to trust you again?"

"Yes, I guess you could say that."

"Ah, that is a good thing; a very good thing." The guru replied, and then rising to his feet he continued, "So Prince Zuko are you rested enough to begin your work of opening the next chakra?"

Zuko rose to his feet as well. Walking over to the basket of fruit that Katara had gathered the other day he grabbed some breakfast and then said, "I'm ready."

The guru smiled and said, "Then let's be on our way."

They walked in silence for some time but Zuko didn't mind. His thoughts drifted back over the last two chakras. Both had been emotionally draining and part of him was a slight bit apprehensive about what today's chakra held in store for him. He wasn't quite sure how much more battering his spirit could take, but he was so close to completing this task that he didn't want to stop now.

Before long they came to a large room. The ceiling was gone and light streamed in through the opening. The guru sat down in front of a huge statue of an Air Nomad Nun. Smiling at Zuko he nodded his head indicating that he should sit as well. After Zuko was comfortable the old man said, "This is where I brought Aang when we worked on this chakra weeks earlier."

Zuko looked around and settling his eyes on the enormous statue he said, more to himself, "I always pictured the air benders as monks. I hadn't really thought about the women."

"Some of the greatest benders to ever live were women. The Air Nomads were very open to that truth. Unfortunately many other cultures do not embrace that belief even today."

Zuko reflected on the old man's words. He understood the truth in what he was saying. Still gazing at the statue he said, "In my country some of the best benders are women. Some believe that it is because they can control their passions and thus control the element with more precision."

"I have heard that before. I do believe that there is much truth to the differences in the sexes and their abilities to bend. Women can be very fierce and protective and that can make them very powerful. But sometimes that can also make them very dangerous."

Zuko thought back to Azula and said, "My sister has always been good at fire bending. It always came easy to her." He paused for a moment and then continued, "She has always had so much control, even from an early age. Control has never seemed to come easy to me but I don't think that has anything to do with being a man."

He turned and looked at the guru and the man replied, "You have had many disappointments in your life and I think that your chakras have been blocked for some time now. Letting go of all of these negative feelings will definitely affect your bending. Give yourself some time to heal your spirit. Open the chakras and then see how much control you have over your bending."

Zuko nodded at the old man and then asked, "What is the chakra that we are going to work on today?"

Guru Pathik replied, "Today we work on the Sound Chakra. It is located in your throat and is rooted in the truth. It is blocked by lies."

Zuko looked at him and said bitterly, "My whole life has been about lies. I don't know if I could recognize the truth if I hit it head on."

The guru responded, "True you have had to face many untruths on this journey but this chakra is not blocked by lies that others tell us, but by the lies we tell ourselves."

"Lies we tell ourselves?" he asked.

"Yes, the lies that you create to deal with or excuse the events or truths in your life that you are not ready to face at the present time."

"Like believing that if I captured the Avatar my father would restore my honor and welcome me home." He said with sorrow in his voice.

"Ah, at one time there may have been some truth to that, but I do not think that your father ever truly believed that you would find the Avatar. He may have restored your honor but ..."

"It still wouldn't have changed the fact that he didn't love me." He replied flatly.

"That is probably true. Facing that truth was difficult but you have seen through the lie and by understanding that you can undo the damage that it has brought to your life. You are no longer its prisoner, and are free to make decisions with a clear conscience."

Zuko understood what the guru meant but it didn't make the discovery of his father's true feelings any less painful. Feeling suddenly overwhelmed by the task at hand he said, "This chakra could take a lifetime to work through. I don't even know where to begin to sift through all the lies."

"You already have begun the process. Whether you were aware of it or not, you have been uncovering lies all along. In order to open each chakra you have worked through the various defenses that your mind has put in place to protect you from the pain of the truth."

"But if I've been uncovering lies as I go, why do I need to work this chakra? What could be left to learn?"

"That is for you to figure out. Obviously you are still holding on to beliefs that hold you back and prevent you from opening this chakra. You must meditate and reflect on your life so that you can discover what they are."

Zuko become frustrated at the guru's explanation. How was he going to figure this out when he had no idea as to what he was even looking for? He could feel impatience getting the best of him. He was tired of having to work so hard to figure these things out. He wanted answers now!

Facing the guru, he realized that nothing was going to get accomplished if he just sat there brooding. Closing his eyes he took in a deep breath and then released it. He spent quite some time just trying to relax enough to open his mind, but eventually he felt calm. He emptied his mind of all the thoughts that were distracting him and focused instead on his breathing. In and out, in and out; just let it go.

Suddenly in the silence of his mind he heard his uncle's voice clear as if he were sitting there with him, _"__You are impatient. You have yet to master your basics. Drill it again!__"_

He found himself back on his ship sailing through the cold waters of the South Pole. Uncle was berating him for his insistence on working the more advanced sets of fire bending, but he needed to learn them. Time was running out and soon he would face the Avatar. He needed to learn more than the basics if he was to face him and win. But his uncle couldn't see that.

Uncle saw him as impatient. In fact he had heard that from all his teachers for most of his life. But they couldn't understand. He had to get better. As a young child he was already behind in his abilities in comparison to Azula.

The scene shifted and he could hear his father's voice dripping with pride, _"__She's a true prodigy. Just like her Grandfather for whom she's named."_

He could see Azula's smug smile as she approached him to sit down after demonstrating her latest fire bending moves.

"_You'll never catch up." _She whispered in his ear.

Her words goaded him on. He had to prove himself. He had to show his father and Azula that he was good enough; he would catch up. He just needed time. But there wasn't ever enough time. Of course he was impatient. He spent his whole life trying to catch up to his younger sister but it was no use. She always remained the better bender.

"_There's always something. Not that you would understand. You're like my sister. Everything always __came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy and everyone adores her."_

His words spoken to the Avatar came back in his mind. She was a prodigy. Life was easy for her since the day she was born. He always had to work for everything and still that wasn't enough.

Maybe that was why he resented the Avatar. Sure the boy stood between him and his honor, but his bitter feelings ran deeper than that. Aang was like Azula. He had become an air bending master already and he was only twelve years old. His skills were exceptional. In the short time that Zuko had known him he had already learned water and earth bending as well, and now he was learning to master fire. By the time Zuko was done opening all these chakras, the boy would probably be better than him at his own element.

"It's not fair!" he yelled out. Startled by his outburst he opened his eyes and looked at the guru.

"What's not fair, Prince Zuko?"

"I've worked hard all my life to master fire, and the Avatar will probably surpass me before I get finished with you!" he replied angrily. "I need to open this chakra. I need to get through this so that I can resume my training. I need to master fire now!"

The guru continued to stare at him and then in a calm voice responded, "Your impatience does not serve you well in that goal."

"I have no choice," he said hotly, "I need to catch up. I need to get better and I can't do that sitting here with you!"

"You will never catch up if you abandon all that you have accomplished so far with these chakras."

Zuko digested the man's words and took a deep breath. Relax, he told himself. Just relax and focus. In a whisper of a voice he said, "I need to be better. All around me are people who are extremely skilled benders. I need to be able to keep up with them. I need to be as good, if not better."

"It is obvious that your need to prove yourself is very important to you," Guru Pathik began, "but I find it interesting that this is the path your reflections have taken you down. I wonder just how this is related to this chakra."

Zuko felt his anger rise again. Lashing out he said, "You're the guru. You're supposed to have all this great wisdom and knowledge. You tell me."

The old man smiled sadly and said, "Your impatience and anger are clouding your ability to discern the truth. I cannot do that for you. The most important lessons in life are those that we learn on our own."

Closing his eyes Zuko reflected on the man's words. Relax, he reminded himself. Look for the parallels. Somehow this is all related. Somehow this all makes sense.

As his breathing grew steady once more he emptied his mind and waited for the answers to come. Out of the silence his own words from earlier came back to him, _"__All around me are people who are extremely skilled benders. I need to be able to keep up with them. I need to be as good, if not better." _

Why was this plaguing him now? What did any of this have to do with lies? All of this was the truth. He faced it every day of his life. There were always people better than him; always someone that he needed to prove himself to.

His thoughts shifted suddenly and he was back at the Fire Nation shipyard having his vessel repaired after his first encounter with the Avatar. He had been back and forth with Zhao and the commander had discovered the truth about his findings in the South Pole.

"_So, a twelve-year-old boy bested you and your fire benders? You're more pathetic than I thought._

"_I underestimated him once, but it will not happen again."_

"_No, it will not, because you won't have a second chance."_

"_Commander Zhao, I've been hunting the Avatar for two years and I..."_

"_And you failed! Capturing the Avatar is too important to leave in a teenager's hands. He's mine!"_

Zuko could feel all the rage from that moment wash through him again. Zhao considered him a failure. He openly mocked the prince and showed him no respect. It was that attitude that had finally pushed Zuko into challenging the older man to an agni kai. Zhao had laughed at him and even his uncle questioned the wisdom of his decision. Still Uncle had supported him and stood by him when the time came.

Zuko had not been so anxious since he faced his father but he refused to back down. Facing Zhao he fought hard and in the end he had defeated the commander. But that was only the first of many times that he had done so. For all his efforts and resources the commander had only captured the Avatar once, and even then Zuko had managed to steal the boy away from him.

Even blowing up Zuko's ship had proven futile for the older man. Zuko's determination and drive propelled him forward and he played Zhao for the fool all the way to the North Pole. It still gave him a thrill to remember the expression on the then admiral's face, when he fought him during the siege. Zhao was overconfident and that was his downfall. Zuko could have taken him that day if the Water Spirit hadn't gotten him first. In the end Zhao never did get the better of him. For all his apparent lack of talent and skill he had still bested the man.

Maybe he wasn't as bad as he originally believed. He had handled Zhao at every turn. He had even captured the Avatar with out the resources of the Fire Nation at his disposal. Even Azula hadn't been able to that. She had chased the boy for months now and had come up empty handed. In fact it was only with his help that she managed to corner the boy and kill him. Or so she believed.

"_I need you Zuko. I've plotted every move of this day. This glorious day in Fire Nation history. And the only way we win is together."_

He knew now that her words were only a ploy to trick him into betraying Uncle. But as the battle between her and the Avatar progressed it began obvious that she truly did need his help. He had rescued her from defeat on two separate occasions. In fact Katara would have defeated his sister if he had not stepped in and helped out. That made him smile; the great Azula almost taken down by a water bender not much older than herself. Katara had proved herself to be a master; more a prodigy than even Azula. But to his credit he held his own against her both in Ba Sing Se and in the North Pole. Katara was good but he proved an equal match. He possessed power and strength and in the end he had gotten the best of her almost every time they fought.

Once again he questioned his earlier belief. Was he really that bad? He had held his own against many worthy opponents. Maybe his desire to prove himself _had _clouded his ability to see the truth. He was a good bender. He may not have been a prodigy like Azula, or the Avatar and Katara for that matter, but he had mastered many skills since that day at the South Pole. He had become a very competent bender. But more so than that he had proven his ability to survive and adapt in many adverse situations. In fact for the past few months he had to rely on his skills with the broadswords to survive. He wondered how Azula would do if faced with similar circumstances.

Opening his eyes he looked at the guru and said, "I've been holding myself back all these months. By believing that I wasn't good enough I was keeping myself from realizing my full potential. I am a good bender and I can hold my own with all these others around me."

As he spoke the words he felt a familiar rush course through his body. Surrendering to it he felt a satisfaction that he had never experienced before. He was not the failure he had always envisioned himself to be. He was a worthy opponent and even if his father couldn't see that he knew it to be true.

The guru smiled and said, "That truth has been hidden for some time now. By listening to others doubts you had let yourself believe that you had no true talent. You had let their taunts map out your future instead of following your heart. Now that you know the truth you are free to trust your own instincts. Faith in yourself will truly make you a powerful bender."

Zuko bowed his head and replied, "Thank you."

"It was your own hard work that opened that chakra."

Looking back up he suddenly felt guilty about his tantrum earlier. "I'm sorry for yelling at you before. I should have shown you more respect."

The old man reached out and placed his arm on Zuko's shoulder. "I have heard worse over the years. It is during tirades such as that that your true feelings get a chance to be expressed. Though I appreciate that you are man enough to apologize."

Zuko smiled at him. He was relieved to find that this chakra, though hard, had not left him as drained as the others. His new found confidence made him feel almost light headed.

"I think that we should call it a day and stop here." Guru Pathik said. "Why don't you return to camp and enjoy what is left of this day? Maybe explore the temple a little bit?"

That sounded good to him. Besides maybe he would be lucky and Katara would be free to explore with him. That thought made him smile. It was funny how their situation had changed. Months before he would have cringed at being alone with her but know he found himself looking forward to it. Life certainly had a funny way of working out.

* * *

**A.N.** As I wrote this story my original beliefs about what this chapter would entail changed. Zuko has uncovered many lies over the course of the story and I believe that this one was important to the direction of this story. I was honestly blown away during _Crossroads of Destiny _by Zuko's growth as a bender, and even though he seems confident when he fights I still think that he feels inferior to those around him. I wanted to bring out those feelings because it will affect him as this story concludes. 

Thanks to all who reviewed. What a great group of people you are! And to Steamboat Ghost - I tried to work on my commas - hope it shows! Also to Tearainy - Zuko does not need to give up Katara to open the last chakra but it will still be difficult!

Hope you enjoyed this. Please let me know.


	20. Chapter 19 A Little Fluff

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**A Little Fluff**

As Zuko entered camp he was disappointed to find that Katara was not there. In fact he found to his horror that the only other living thing present was the Avatar's bison. He had not gotten close to the animal since they had arrived, partially because he honestly was afraid of the beast, but also because he still felt awkward after their encounter under Lake Laogai. Gathering up his courage he walked over to the basket that held the fruit that Katara had gathered. The animal was lying dangerously close by and Zuko didn't want to give it any reason to attack him. As he bent down to retrieve an apple, the bison let out a grunt and then started to stand. Zuko jumped back, apple in hand, and stared at the animal.

"It's ok," he said, trying to remain calm. "I'm just getting something to eat."

The bison snorted at his comment and Zuko could feel the warm, moist air from the animal's breath wash over him. Slowly, as not to startle the animal, he took a few steps back.

"Nice flying bison. Good boy." He began. "That's right; I'm just getting some food. I'm not going to hurt you or anything. I'm just hungry."

Part of him felt like a complete idiot for even having a conversation with the beast, but then he never was a great animal lover, especially the big furry kind. Still he didn't want to become the bison's dinner either.

Suddenly he heard the sound of laughter coming from behind him and he cringed as he realized that Katara had returned to camp at that moment. As if she could read his mind she said, "Don't worry Zuko, Appa won't eat you. He's strictly a vegetarian."

As if to prove her point the animal snorted again, and making a grunting sound nudged Zuko's arm with its nose. Zuko couldn't help but jump at the action, which only made Katara laugh louder. Embarrassment began to seep through every pore in his body. He would not let her think that he was afraid. Trying to be brave he said, "I know that. In fact I was just going to give him this apple."

With that he held up his hand and offered the fruit to the beast. Appa made another grunt and then opened his mouth to take the apple. Zuko held his breath and prayed that the animal wouldn't eat his arm as well. Suddenly he felt the bison's moist tongue as it encompassed his hand, and then in an instant it and the apple were gone. Pulling back his hand he sighed with relief.

Katara giggle again and said, "See, that wasn't so bad."

Zuko turned and glared at her and then returned his gaze to the bison. "I wasn't afraid. Appa and I have an understanding. I have no reason to fear him." And then to make sure she believed him he reached out his hand and patted the animal's head.

"Well I'm glad that you and Appa are friends, but I've got to warn you that Appa has his ways of showing affection and if you're not careful he may..." Before she could finish the beast opened its mouth, and to Zuko's horror, licked him from his feet all the way to his face. This caused Katara to laugh even harder as she finished her statement. "... lick you."

Turning he glared at her once more. She stood there laughing so hard that she had grabbed her sides in an effort to contain herself. After a moment she gained enough control to walk over to where he stood and facing the animal she reached out and stroked its face.

In a voice dripping with affection she said, "Ah, you like Prince Zuko, don't you Appa. Yes, such a good boy, showing his affection for the prince. Yes you are!" With that she rubbed her head against the bison's fur. "Good Appa. It was so nice of you not to eat Zuko. Yes it was!"

"Very funny!" he said. In an effort to rid himself of the animal slobber he started to shake his hands vigorously. Of course it was a losing battle. He was dripping wet with bison saliva.

Katara turned to him and tried to suppress a laugh. Her efforts only produced a very unladylike snort instead. Still rubbing the bison's fur with one hand she said, "Wow, as if you didn't smell before, now it's going to be unbearable!"

He stared at her and said, "I don't stink!"

"Oh really, have you gotten a good whiff of yourself lately? It's not exactly the best of aromas. But hey, I'm sure that Appa's slobber will make a big improvement."

"You know I'm not the only one that probably stinks around here."

She grinned and said, "I don't stink!"

"Sure you don't."

"I don't!"

"Oh yeah?" he said angrily.

"Yeah!" she replied, hands suddenly on her hips.

With that he walked right up in front of her and moving his face to within inches of hers he took a deep breath. Stepping back again he looked at her and said incredulously, "You smell like... like soap!"

"Well that would be because I like to use soap when I bathe."

"You have soap! All this time you've had soap and you didn't share."

"I shared. Aang and Iroh have managed to keep clean. You seem to be the only barbarian in the group." She said with a smile.

Zuko couldn't help but get angry. Trying to calm down he reminded himself, _I wanted to spend time with her. I really enjoy her company_. But that wasn't working Suddenly he felt her hand on his arm and she said, "Zuko I'm just teasing. Yes, I have had soap for some time, but I only found a place suitable for bathing the other day. In fact that's where Aang and I were last night. I was planning on showing it to you today."

Slowly his anger turned to embarrassment. This kind of teasing was going to take some time to get used to. Looking down he said, "Yeah, I knew you were teasing. I was just playing along."

"Of course you were." She said, and when he looked up she was smiling a smile that said that she knew he was full of it. "So anyways, your royal stinkyness, are you ready to get clean?"

"Lead the way." He replied. As they left camp he kept repeating to himself_; you want to be with her, you want to be with her, you want to be with her..._

* * *

Katara was still smiling as she and Zuko made their way through the temple grounds. She still couldn't get the image of Appa licking the prince out of her mind. The look on Zuko's face was hysterical. Still she had to get a hold of herself because she knew that Zuko's pride wasn't going to be able to withstand the teasing much longer.

Trying to change the direction of her thoughts she started to tell him about how she had discovered the pools of water that were ideal for bathing. The area was inside a cavern similar to the one he had shown her after he had opened the second chakra, only this water came from a source somewhere underground causing it to be a lot more calm, just perfect for bathing. Though it tended to be colder than she would have liked, it was much more preferable than remaining dirty.

As they entered the cavern Zuko walked over to the water's edge and tested it with his foot. Shivering slightly he said, "It's a little cold."

"But it's better than be covered in bison slobber." She returned.

Nodding his head he watched her as she went to sit down on a rock nearby. After a moment he said, "Do you mind?"

"Huh?" she asked. To this he made a motion with his hand indicating that he wanted her to turn around. "Oh." She replied and turned away smiling at his modesty. Waiting until she heard him enter the water she said teasingly, "You know you sure are modest for someone who has spent the past two weeks walking around in nothing but his pants."

"It wasn't my choice. If I remember correctly you were the one who tore up my shirt to use for rags." He returned.

Turning back around she said, "Your shirt _was_ rags when we fished you out of the water."

"Well, its not like I'm the only guy walking around here half dressed. I mean Aang is just wearing pants and Guru Pathik has less on than either of us."

To that she started to laugh and replied, "True. You know I think that I have seen more naked male chests in the last two weeks than in my entire life."

He started to grin and said with humor in his voice, "Just be thankful that my uncle hasn't decided to join the trend."

To that she started to laugh louder. Bending some of the water in his direction she said, "You know you're horrible. Your uncle is a sweet man."

Now laughing himself he replied, "Sweet or not, my uncle naked is not a sight I'd like to witness too often in my lifetime." And with that he pushed his arms forward and tried to soak her back.

"Wow, that was pitiful!" she said. "The motion should be more fluid like this." Moving her hands in an upward fashion she pulled the water up and then pushed it in his direction effectively drenching him.

He sputtered and tried to catch his breath. Finally he said, "Easy for you; water is your element."

Laughing, she said playfully, "Well, I guess you shouldn't mess with a master!"

"Come in here and I'll give you a fair fight."

"Oh please, I could take you with one hand tied behind my back."

"Then come on in Katara. I'd like to see you try."

Staring at him she said, "That water is way too cold. I'll stay here on the ledge, thank you."

"That's a lame excuse. I think you're just being a chicken-sheep. You're afraid I'll be able to give you a fair fight in close combat." He laughed tauntingly at her.

"I am not a chicken-sheep!" she replied hotly.

"Prove it!" He goaded her.

"Fine!" she yelled, and getting up proceeded to strip down to her under garments. Preparing to get in, she glanced at Zuko to make sure that he wasn't going to try anything. He was looking back at her with an odd expression on his face and suddenly she felt very self conscious.

"What?" she asked. "Is something wrong?"

Shaking his head he replied with a slightly higher pitch than usual, "No, nothing's wrong." And then he quickly looked down at the water.

Starting to feel a slight bit awkward, she quickly made her way out into the water until she was about waist deep. As she drew closer to him Zuko looked up again. He seemed to have recovered his wits and prepared to fight.

"Okay big shot, you got what you wanted, now prepare to be utterly humiliated."

His familiar smirk returned and he raised his hands to attack. Before he could muster any force though, she moved her arms in a circular motion, and manipulating the water below the surface she wrapped it around his legs and pulled hard. For a split second she saw the shocked expression pass over his features, and then he was gone. Holding him under for a few seconds, she quickly released him and he came back to the surface sputtering and coughing.

"That was pretty underhanded." He said as soon as he had recovered.

Smiling she replied, "You were the one who insisted on close combat. I wouldn't want to make this too easy for you."

Giving her a look he said, "Oh, don't worry about me. Two can play at your game."

No sooner had the words left his mouth, when his head dunked down below the water again. Staring at the empty space before her she wondered what he was up to. She had not done anything this time. Before she had anymore time to think, she felt his hands grab at her ankles and in an instant she was yanked below the surface. She shot back up and gasped for air at the same moment that Zuko did.

Turning to look at her, he grinned and said, "I can keep up with whatever you throw at me."

Letting her pride get the best of her, she doused him several times in a row, barely giving him enough time to come up for air let alone retaliate. Putting her hands down she decided to relent, but he didn't resurface. Very funny, she thought, but after what seemed like minutes he was still nowhere to be seen. Just when she was about to search for him he broke the surface of the water behind her. Before she could even react, he grabbed both of her hands from behind and pinned them to her body.

"Enough!" he said between gasps.

"Oh, you're giving up?" she replied smugly. Only she wasn't feeling as superior as she let on. In fact she wasn't quite sure just what she was feeling at that moment. By pinning her arms to her body he had forced her back against his chest. She could feel every move he made as he tried to steady his breathing, and the sensations that it was creating in her were different from any others she had ever felt before.

"You're the one who is going to surrender. I've got you just where I want you. The only way out is to give up." He replied.

She tried to think up a clever retort, but the feel of his breath in her ear as he spoke was very distracting. Being this close to him was driving her insane. Part of her was enjoying it tremendously, but another part just wanted to run away as quickly as possible. It felt exciting yet terrifying at the same time. Kind of like the feeling she would get when she would sneak a treat before dinner, knowing that if she got caught she would have to face Gran Gran's wrath. Only this felt far more dangerous than sneaking a treat.

She needed to get away from him, but a part of her could not stand the idea of letting him win. Trying to save face she said, "I told you that I could take you with one arm tied behind my back, not both."

"And I told you that you would be no match for me in close combat. I suggest that you give up."

Once again she could feel her pride getting in her way. She hated to let him win. Trying to break free of his grasp, she began to struggle harder against his arms. This only made him grip her more firmly than before, pulling her even tighter against his body. Quickly she stopped her movements and let out a sigh of frustration. She didn't want to lose, but she knew that she couldn't remain like this for much longer. If she gave in she could at least get away from him and deal with these feelings in a more rational manner.

Reluctantly she said, "Fine, you win. Now let me go!"

"Promise me you won't attack me if I release you."

"I won't attack you. Besides," she stated, wanting to get back at him, "being this close to you has reminded me of one thing, you still need to bathe. Even playing in this water has done nothing for the smell."

With that said he quickly released her. She noticed his expression wasn't as playful as before, but she was too rattled to care. She quickly made her way to the edge of the pool and got out. Tossing him the soap she said, "I'm going to get dressed and then go outside and sit in the sun until you're finished."

To this he nodded and turned his back to her to get clean. Quietly she got dressed and made her way out of the cavern. She just needed some fresh air, she thought. Time away from him would help her to sort through these feelings. Finding a place in the sun she sat down and reclined back on her elbows. Closing her eyes she tried to relax. She could not be attracted to Zuko. And besides, he might not even feel the same for her. It was best, she decided, to let these feelings lie dormant and focus on their friendship.

* * *

Zuko finished bathing and quickly got out of the pool to get dressed. Katara's words before he released her still stung. He couldn't be sure where the teasing ended and the truth began. The whole afternoon had been so strange for him. He had tried to let go of his reservations and just have fun with her, but it seemed as if he had gone too far. He knew he should have backed down and let her win, but a part of him just couldn't do it. Though he had to admit that if she hadn't surrendered he probably would have caved within a few minutes.

Grabbing her from behind had seemed like a good idea at the time, but once he had her in his grasp he started to feel things that he hadn't quite expected. Seeing Katara in her underclothes had been unnerving in itself, but to be so close to her had his senses on fire. All that he could think about was how much he just wanted to turn her around and kiss her.

It had to be the thrill of the moment because he had never felt this way before around her. There was a part of him that enjoyed the rush of emotions that passed through him, but at the same time he felt uneasy. They had overcome so many obstacles over the past two weeks and had finally settled into a comfortable relationship. For the first time in his life he felt like he had a true friend that he could relate to. Now all these new feelings were getting in the way. The last thing he wanted to do was act on some impulse and ruin the friendship that they had. Resolving to keep his feelings to himself, he started to head out of the cavern and search for her.

He found her not that far from the entrance to the cavern. She was reclining back on her elbows, her head tilted back with her eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun's rays on her face. He paused again as he felt that odd sensation bubble in the pit of his stomach. Bury it, he reminded himself. Don't give in to impulse.

Taking a deep breath he walked over to her and sat down. Drawing his knees up towards his chest he wrapped his arms around his legs and stared out into the surrounding temple grounds. Katara remained quiet and he wondered if she was sleeping or just ignoring him. Guessing it was the latter he said, "Thank you."

"What for?" she asked. Her eyes still remained closed but at least she was talking.

"For the soap. For showing me the pools that you found." And then softer, "For spending the afternoon with me."

This earned him a glimpse at her deep blue eyes. Staring at him she said, "You know I wasn't very nice back there. I really didn't mean what I said before you released me. I was just mad at you for getting the best of me."

He grinned at that and said, "So I didn't smell so bad after all?"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far," she teased, "but you definitely smell better now."

With that said she sat up. They both sat in silence for a few moments until she said, "I guess I'm just a little too competitive."

"What?"

"Well, I hated to let you win. I hate to lose, especially to you." She said, but her words held no malice.

"I guess I should be flattered?" he asked with a note of humor in his voice.

"I don't know if I'd go that far, but I do derive a certain pleasure from kicking your butt."

This caused him to laugh and he responded, "You have never 'kicked my butt' before."

"Oh please Zuko, I took you down at the North Pole."

"If I remember right it was you who ended up unconscious right before I took the Avatar."

"Yeah, but in the end I remember you knocked out in the snow after we found Aang and you in that blizzard."

He opened his mouth to respond, but found nothing to retort her claims. Finally he said, "I guess you could call it a draw."

"Oh very diplomatic, Zuko," She laughed, "but I think the last person standing is the winner. Admit it; I got the best of you."

He stared at her for a moment and then realizing that this was just what got him into trouble earlier he said, "Ok, you win. I'll give you the North pole."

"Thank you." She replied.

Once again they sat in silence. Finally he said, "You know I expected to have to fight the Avatar that day. When I saw you I realized that the battle would be easier than I had anticipated. But you really surprised me."

"Well Master Pakku is an excellent teacher." She replied.

"Yes, but Katara you weren't even in the North Pole for a month, and yet you mastered water bending. Do you realize how frustrating that was to me?"

She gave him a confused look and asked, "Why would that frustrate you?"

"Because I spent my whole life trying to master fire, and I have yet to do it. You spend a few weeks learning water and you master it."

"It wasn't quite like that. I never had a master until Pakku, but I worked at learning various techniques that I picked up here or there. Still it was difficult, and when I showed Aang what I knew he picked it up right away. Talk about frustrating." Smiling at him she continued, "That's why I stole that water bending scroll from those pirates. I just wanted to learn more so that I could have something on Aang."

"I can understand that." He replied. "There were times when I would have done anything to have one up on Azula."

Placing her hand on his arm, she turned slightly and said, "Having a good master to teach you makes all the difference. Still I found that when I let go of my need to prove myself better than Aang, and just focused on the bending, I did much better."

"Well my uncle is one of the best fire benders I know, and I have learned a lot from him during my banishment." He responded and then thinking back over the day's discoveries he continued, "Today, while opening the fifth chakra, I realized that I really have improved over the years. I just spent so much energy comparing myself to others that I couldn't see that. I think that sometimes in the past I focused more on being the best and less on my lessons. It's no wonder it was so difficult."

"I can see what you mean. I find that when I'm frustrated or angry I have a hard time learning anything new. I do my best when I let go of all my negative feelings and just focus on my bending."

He knew that she was right. He did need to focus on his bending. Discovering the truth that he had hidden from himself was very liberating, and he was excited for the first time in his life to get back to his training. The desire to master fire bending was stronger than ever, but the drive that fueled it was different than before.

Smiling he said, "I can see that you've been spending a lot of time with my uncle."

"How is that?" She asked.

"Because you're starting to give some very wise advice."

She blushed at that comment, but gave no response. They sat together in a comfortable silence for some time before she made the remark that they should head back to camp. Helping her to her feet he found that his hand once again found its way into hers. She clasped it firmly and he smiled more to himself at her response.

They continued hand in hand back to camp, talking about nothing in particular. He found that he really did enjoy her company and was glad that he let down his guard today and just let himself have fun.

Still caught up in conversation they came to camp and found both Iroh and the Avatar waiting for them. Zuko had forgotten about his hand in Katara's until he noticed the smile that had appeared on his uncle's face. Slightly embarrassed he almost let go of her hand until he saw the look that had come over the Avatar. The boy appeared hurt, but there was something else there as well. Zuko knew that feeling well. It was one of anger. He noticed the boy's scowl darken more and he could feel the good mood from the day begin to evaporate. He had managed to keep his distance from Aang since they had arrived here, but he knew that that was about to change. They were going to have to deal with each other and settle their differences, and if his relationship with Katara was going to be the starting point then so be it. He braced himself as he prepared for the confrontation that he knew was soon to come.

* * *

**A.N.** This chapter was supposed to be fun for me, but I found that I had to really work hard at it. I wanted it to be fluffy, but not sappy. The pressure was on and I hope I pulled it off. (Of course after last weekend's spoilers for season III, I was pretty upset. Yes I ship Zutara. The "kiss" was pretty hard to stomach! But alas this is my escape so I will keep plugging away.)

As for the season's starting date - I now have a new deadline. I know that if I don't crank this out before then I may lose my drive once I see the first episode. That coupled with the fact that my summer break ends Wednesday and I start back to work brings more stress. Add a baby that may come before my original October deadline and I am scrambling. Still I will try my best. I estimate at least six or seven chapters to go. Wish me luck - and no writters block!

As for Aang - the next chapter is important to the story. Zuko and Aang will deal with each other but don't expect any blows. Aang has decided to let go of his romantic feelings for Katara, but he's not ready to face the budding relationship between her and Zuko.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks again to all who have reviewed.


	21. Chapter 20 Common Ground

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**Common Ground**

Katara looked at Aang with dismay. She couldn't understand why he looked so angry until she felt Zuko's grip on her hand tighten. She had been so comfortable walking hand in hand with him that she hadn't thought about how it might appear to Iroh or her friend. Though Zuko's uncle didn't seem bothered in the least, Aang was staring at her with a look of barely controlled rage.

"Nice that you two could join us." He said bitterly, his eyes still focused on her hand in Zuko's.

She felt Zuko lessen his hold on her, and pulling her hand free, took a step towards Aang. With a nervous laugh she said, "Actually Aang it's kind of funny. You see, Zuko found himself on the receiving end of Appa's affections, and he needed a bath. So I brought him to those springs that I showed you last night so he could clean up. After he was finished we just got to talking and lost track of time. But we're here now so I can fix something for dinner if you'd like..." Her words faded into silence as she watched his expression darken. She knew she was rambling, but she was at a loss as what to say or do.

Aang quickly replied, "Well I'm glad that you and Zuko can find the time to play while we're here. Iroh and I have only been training all day so that I can master fire bending, and defeat the Fire Lord in a couple of months. Or have you forgotten about the war?"

His harsh words hurt her, and without conscious thought she brought her hand up to her throat to touch her mother's necklace. "I could never forget this war or what it has cost me ... cost all of us. I can't believe that you could even say something like that to me."

His eyes still blazed as he continued to stare at her. Finally he spoke, "I can't be here right now. I don't want to fight with you..."

As his words faded, he turned and started away from camp. Katara started to follow him, but she felt Zuko's hand grab her arm. As she turned to him he simply shook his head at her. "I don't think you should do that. Let me go instead."

"He's my friend; I think I should be the one to talk to him. After all I'm the one he's mad at. " She replied.

"I don't think so Katara. And if you go after him he may just get more upset. Let me talk to him.

"But you two don't really know each other. You don't even like each other."

Looking intently at her he said simply, "Trust me."

Uncertainty gripped her heart and she felt torn. His words spoken so casually, held much more meaning than letting him go to Aang. If she refused him she would destroy all that they had repaired over the last two weeks, and in effect shatter their fragile relationship.

Closing her eyes against the tears that were threatening to fall, she bit her lip and prayed for guidance. When she opened her eyes she looked at his face, and saw the apprehension there. He needed her to trust him more than she needed to go to Aang. Nodding her head she said softly, "Go ahead."

A slight smile appeared on his face. Reaching out he embraced her tightly and then let her go. Turning he walked off in the direction that Aang had just gone. Behind her she heard Iroh speak. The sound of his voice startled her as she had completely forgotten that he was there.

"You were right to let him go after him." She turned to look at the older man, and he continued, "There is so much more going on here than hurt feelings. Those two have avoided each other long enough. It is time for them to clear the air and set things right. Otherwise all of this could be for nothing."

She looked at him for a moment, and then turned back to where both boys had gone. She hoped Iroh was correct. Otherwise two people that she cared about could really get hurt.

* * *

Zuko walked at a brisk pace to catch up with the Avatar. He wasn't quite sure what he would say when he found the boy, but he knew he had to face him. Coming to a large open space, he found Aang standing still, staring out at the mountains below. He slowed down and approached him.

Never looking at Zuko, Aang said, "This is where I first meet Appa. We were to choose our bison that day. I was told to pick wisely because he would be my companion for life."

Zuko found this revelation odd in the face of all that had transpired so he remained silent. Aang turned to him and said, "I've lost many people that I loved during my lifetime, but Appa has always been there for me." Looking back out over the mountains he grew silent. After a moment he continued, his voice rising in anger, "I'm so tired of having all the people I love taken away from me! It's not fair! Katara was the one who found me in that iceberg. She was the first person I saw after a hundred years of sleep. She means more to me than my own life. I shouldn't have to give her up!"

He was surprised by the boy's outburst and replied, "No one is asking you to give up Katara."

Aang turned back again, the anger flaring back in his eyes. "You don't understand. You can't even begin to understand."

"Then enlighten me." He replied.

The avatar stared at him for a moment and then asked, "Which chakra did you just open?"

He wasn't sure where this was going, but he replied, "The sound chakra."

Aang nodded his head and then said, "Opening the chakras wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I found myself moving through them rather quickly until I came to the final one. Letting go of my grief, shame, and fears hadn't been too difficult. So when the guru told me that I would need to give up the things that attached me to this world I thought no problem, I'm a monk, I don't really have any attachments. But when the time came I realized that there was one attachment that I didn't want to let go of."

Understanding dawned on him and Zuko replied, almost to himself, "Katara."

Aang turned back towards the mountains and continued, "I didn't see why I should give her up. I loved her. What was so wrong about that?" He could feel his eyes widen at the boy's revelation and suddenly it all made sense to him. No wonder he was so upset when they walked into camp. "At first I couldn't do it, but Guru Pathik reminded me that I needed to in order to enter the Avatar State at will. I tried again and this time I found it working..."

"But you left before you opened it." He interrupted.

"Katara was in danger. I had to go to her. I couldn't let something happen to her. I was willing to give up my ability to enter the Avatar State. I was willing to jeopardize everything in order to save her. Leaving locked my chakras, but I didn't care."

"But you went into the Avatar State in the crystal caves."

"I knew that the only way to win was to access it so I let go of her. I let go of my feelings for Katara so that I could save her."

Zuko was amazed by what he was hearing. The fact that a twelve year old boy could love someone so dearly that he would let her go to save her was hard to believe. In fact he didn't know many adults who would have done such a thing. His mind raced ahead to the last chakra and he wondered if Guru Pathik demanded the same from him, would he be able to choose as Aang did. Would any of it be worth it if he lost her in the end?

Aang continued, "When we returned here I sought out the guru and we worked to reopen the chakras again. This time I was successful, but the damage had been done. My connection to my past lives has been damaged and I may never be able to fix it."

"So you gave her up for nothing?"

Turning to him the boy replied, "No, it wasn't for nothing. Loving Katara like I did made her vulnerable. People could use her to get to me. A few months back we came across an Earth Kingdom general who actually buried Katara alive just so that he could trigger my Avatar State." Zuko felt an anger rise in him at what Aang was telling him. Clutching his fist tightly to gain some control, he listened as the Avatar continued. "As long as I loved her like that, she would always be at risk."

He grew silent and stared once more out to the horizon. After a moment he spoke, his voice a whisper, "I also let her go to protect myself."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"As the Avatar I must remain neutral. I am the bridge between the spirit world and this and I need to protect all people; being in love with Katara made me lose sight of that. I should never have gone back to Ba Sing Se before I opened that last chakra. By letting my emotions get in the way, I risked the future of the entire world. I need to be ready to face the Fire Lord and defeat him. Katara knew that. She would have wanted me to stay, but I was too afraid for her. I screwed up and now I don't know if I'll ever be able to fix things."

Zuko found himself at a loss. Speaking from the heart he said, "You did what you thought was best. You made a choice and it didn't work out like you expected. If it had been me, I would have done the same thing."

Staring at the boy's profile, he noticed a tear make its way down Aang's cheek. With a voice full of emotion he said, "I never wanted to be the Avatar. I was happy in my life at the Southern Air Temple. Everything was so peaceful. But when I found out that I was the Avatar all that changed. My friends no longer included me in their games because they felt that it wouldn't make for fair teams, and the elders felt that I should train more to be ready in case something happened. Life lost its joy. In fact there was only one person who still treated me the same as before and that was Monk Gyatso. He knew that I needed to play and enjoy life, so he took time to make sure that happened." The tears continued to fall, but Zuko noticed the boy's face harden. With anger in his voice he continued, "The other monks were angry about what Gyatso was doing. They felt that we were too close and that Gyatso was letting his love for me interfere with my responsibilities. They wanted to send me away. They were going to make me leave the home that I loved so much, and the people that meant the most to me just to punish me. I mean I hadn't done anything wrong. I didn't even want to be Avatar. Heck, I'm only twelve years old. I wasn't ready to save the world. I just wanted to have fun. But that didn't matter. Nothing mattered."

He hung his head at that. Zuko was stunned by the boy's story, but more so by the similarities between both their lives. In his mind he raced back in time to when he was fourteen. He had been devastated by his father's decree that he be banished. The Fire Nation was his home. Everything and every person that he loved was there. He had never felt so much sorrow as that day when he sailed away, but he also felt anger. He could understand completely Aang's feelings of injustice. He had only been doing what was the right thing that day in the war room, and yet he was punished severely for it. Aang was just being a kid. It was wrong to send him away.

As Zuko looked at him he saw him in a different light. For so long he had been the Avatar. He had stood in the way of his return home and the Fire Nation's complete victory in the war. But he was just a boy. He should still be playing games and having fun instead of planning how to save the world.

Staring off into the distance he responded, "When I was fourteen my father banished me for standing up for the rights of some of our soldiers. He gave me this scar as a reminder of my lack of respect for him and my elders and then he sent me away. For three years I have been trying to return home. For three years I have held onto the hope that he would take me back and that my life would return to the way it was before. I realize now that that will never happen. Everything I loved before is gone. But I wouldn't change anything that I did back then. Even after losing everything, I would never want to compromise who I was in my heart.

"The monks may have been wrong in how they handled your training, but they were only doing what they thought was best. Denying that you are the Avatar would have been like me remaining silent in my father's war chamber. You are the Avatar, and as unfair as things may seem, you will always be who you are."

Aang turned to face him. His face was streaked with tears and his expression was one of confusion and pain. Zuko understood that perfectly. The responsibility of the boy's position in life was overwhelming him, and though he was trying his hardest to do what he was born to do, he was still just a child.

Without thought he put his hand on the boy's shoulder. Speaking to him as he would a younger brother he said softly, "You don't have to do this alone. You have friends that care about you and are willing to die to see this war end. I have seen the conviction in their eyes and I have heard it in Katara's words. They will not leave you to face my father alone. They love you and they will not abandon you."

He felt a shudder pass through Aang as he listened to his words. Quietly he said, "I don't want the people I love to get hurt. This is my battle, not theirs."

"This battle is all of ours. We need to fight it together not as individuals. If you shut them out you only dishonor them and their abilities. They have every right to fight for what they believe in. To deny them that would be the same as denying that you are the Avatar. Let them help you. You are not alone in this anymore."

"Neither are you." The boy responded in a whisper.

Zuko's eyes opened wide in amazement at his simple words. He had been alone all his life it seemed. He never fit in even when he was a young child. It seemed too much to believe that Aang was offering him acceptance and a place among his friends. At a loss for what to say he simply responded, "Thank you."

They stood in silence for some time before Aang spoke again. "I wish there was another way to end this war. I really do not want to fight the Fire Lord."

"Neither do I", Zuko replied, "But I don't see any other way to accomplish that."

"You and I are probably the only two people who don't want to do that. For everyone else it seems so easy."

Zuko was quiet as he thought about that and then said, "No matter what has happened in my past, and what I have discovered while opening these chakras, the Fire Lord is still my father. Knowing that I will have to face him as an opponent and not as his loyal son is still hard to accept."

"So do you think that that's your destiny then; to fight with us to end this war?" the boy asked.

Thinking about it he replied, "All my life I was brought up to believe that the war was just, and that as a member of the royal family I would do all that I could to see that we were victorious. When my father ascended to the throne, I prepared for a new path; that of Fire Lord. My destiny always seemed set in stone. But now that has changed. I will probably never lead my country and I am faced with fighting on the opposing side in this war.

"When I met with Guru Pathik he told me that once I had opened all the chakras that I would understand my destiny and posses the ability to fulfill it. I know that facing my father is part of that, but I sense that there is much more that I have yet to realize."

"As Avatar it seems that my destiny has already been chosen for me." Aang said, almost dejectedly. "I don't feel as if I ever truly had a choice to make."

"I used to think that way too, but we all have a choice. Back in Ba Sing Se I thought that Azula was offering me a chance to redeem myself in the eyes of my father, but once I chose to side with her I felt empty. You could choose to turn your back on the world and walk away from this war but I would guess that ultimately that would leave you feeling the same way. I think that when we choose the right path to our destinies, no matter how difficult, we will know it because we will be at peace with ourselves."

He could see the boy thinking about what he had said before he responded, "I can see what you're saying. When I left here without opening all my chakras I was following my heart and doing what I thought was best. But deep down inside I knew it was the wrong choice. Ultimately I had to let Katara go, but in returning to Ba Sing Se I jeopardized my ability to go into the Avatar State. Now who knows if I'll ever truly be able to access it again?"

"But you said that you and the guru worked to reopen all the chakras."

"That was only the beginning. I needed to reconnect with my past lives. I can only do that through meditation and contact with the Spirit World. I have reestablished my link with Roku, and he has been helping me repair the damage. Still there is something missing. Something that is essential to fixing what has been broken."

"What is that?" he asked.

"I don't know." Aang replied dismally. "I can't figure it out. Roku told me that when I discover it I will know and my link to the Avatar state will be complete."

"So you're just waiting for some missing piece to fall into to place? The fate of the world depends upon whether or not you stumble across it?" He replied incredulously.

Aang shrugged his shoulders and said, "I guess so."

"Unbelievable!" Zuko replied.

Aang blushed in embarrassment and once again Zuko was reminded of just how much depended on this child and his abilities. Calming down he said, "I'm sorry. It's just that so much is at stake that it frustrates me to think that we are all dependant upon some unseen event to help you realize your full power."

Maybe in the end it will just come to all of our strength combined." Aang replied. "Maybe the link to the Avatar state will remain gone forever."

"But then there would never be another Avatar."

"Maybe the world will be ready to stand on its own without the aid of the Avatar to maintain peace." The boy replied almost philosophically.

Zuko thought about that. Maybe he was right, but deep down he felt otherwise. One hundred years of war and its fallout would require time and care to mend. He remained silent for some time when Aang suddenly let out a slight laugh.

Turning to him he said, "You find this funny?"

"No", Aang replied. It's just that when you followed me out her I kind off expected you to yell at me about what I said to Katara. Instead we ended up talking about all this other stuff."

"You still owe her an apology." He said sternly.

Blushing yet again, Aang replied, "I know. I know. I didn't mean to get so upset. I guess letting her go isn't as easy as I thought it would be."

"She's still your friend. She still loves you. That will never change. You should remember that next time you get mad at her for nothing."

Aang's expression grew slightly dark again and he replied, "It wasn't over nothing. Katara is my friend and I don't want her to get hurt again."

"I wouldn't hurt her. She has been there every time that I opened a chakra, and her understanding and care has helped me to cope with many painful revelations." Lowering his voice he continued, "Katara is the first friend that I have ever had. I have never felt as comfortable around another person before in my life as her."

Aang stared at him for a moment more and said, "You know I was surprised that she didn't follow me out here."

"She would have, but I stopped her." He replied.

"Why did you do that?" Aang asked.

"I felt that this was between you and me. It just seemed that it was time for us to clear the air."

Aang looked at him and then smiled. "I guess you were right. We have been kind off avoiding each other since we got here. It just seems weird to be here talking like this with you. I mean we've been enemies for so long. Now everything has changed."

"I'd like to believe that I've changed." He replied a little abruptly.

"Boy have you ever!" Aang said. "I mean before you always seemed so serious and angry. Now you seem almost... I don't know; nice I guess."

"Nice." He replied.

"Yeah, I mean I would never have left Katara alone with you if you were still being an angry jerk like before."

"An angry jerk?" he asked, a little irritated now.

Aang looked a little embarrassed and said, "It's just something that Sokka called you back in Ba Sing Se. It seemed to fit at the time. But you don't seem so angry anymore."

"Ok enough with the compliments. I think it's best to stop now before you say something really annoying."

Aang smiled at that and Zuko found that his good mood was infectious. He couldn't help but return the smile. "You know we should get back to camp before Katara thinks that I did something to you."

"Do you think that she'll be mad at me?" Aang asked with anxiety in his voice.

"Katara, mad at you?"

"She does have a temper."

"I hadn't noticed."

That made the boy laugh and he said, "She told me that she nearly choked you after we first arrived here."

Zuko thought back to that day he opened the water chakra. It seemed like a lifetime ago. "Ok so she has a slight temper..."

Aang continued to laugh and said, "Yeah slight... Still I hope that she will forgive me."

"There's only one way to find out." He replied.

Aang nodded and together they headed back to camp. Zuko thought about how odd this day had been. It seemed as if he was learning how to repair the bridges that he had burned in the past but more importantly he was finding that making friends wasn't as hard as he thought it would be.

Aang's words from earlier came back to him. He didn't have to be alone anymore. That thought gave him comfort and strangely the courage to face these last two chakras. His destiny was in his reach and he wondered just what he would discover when he opened that last chakra. Of course that was for another day. For now he would enjoy the closeness that he had achieved with Katara and Aang.

* * *

**A.N. **Wow! I have nothing to say. I hope you like this chapter. It sets the stage for the next two (or three). Thanks again to all who review. I really appreciate the response.


	22. Chapter 21 The Light Chakra

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**The Light Chakra**

Zuko awoke to darkness. Lying on his mat he stared into the blackness. The light from the moon enabled him to make out the shapes of his companions as they slept quietly. As he looked around his gaze fell on Katara. She was sleeping so peacefully and he was glad for the opportunity to just be able to watch her without the fear that she would catch him staring. He wasn't sure how or when it had happened, but he found that his feelings of friendship were somehow changing into something else. Talking to Aang yesterday had sparked something within him. Maybe it was the realization that he may have to give her up that caused him to look deeper into his feelings for her.

He knew that it was that fear that had made sleep difficult for him, and was the reason that he was awake now. He had never thought too long on the last chakra. Katara had mentioned Aang's trouble with it, but he figured that he would deal with it when the time came. But now that time was quickly approaching and the knowledge that he might have to give up the one person who he wanted desperately to remain in his life was overwhelming. Would the guru demand the same of him as he did of Aang? And what if the demands were too high? What if he couldn't give up what attached him most to this world?

So many thoughts were swirling around in his mind; so many issues that needed resolving. His feelings for Katara, the eventual battle with his father, and his place in all of this were all vying for his attention. He needed to deal with them, but he knew that it was pointless when he was so restless.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he rose to his feet and quietly made his way from camp. He needed to clear his head and focus on the task ahead. Walking some distance he found a comfortable spot and sat down to meditate. Igniting a small flame in each hand he focused on his breathing. With each breath he found himself relaxing a little more.

He needed to work through these last two chakras. He knew how important it was that he remain calm and focused. Continuing his breathing he worked at letting go of his fears and anxieties. Slowly he worked his way through the previous chakras. By going back over what he had learned by opening them he found the courage that he needed to continue. With a renewed sense of purpose, he opened his eyes and extinguished the flames. As he looked around he noticed that the sky had lightened. Rising to his feet he headed off to camp.

Upon returning he found his uncle sitting quietly by the fire enjoying a cup of tea. As he approached the old man looked up and smiled at him, and then patting the spot beside him said, "Why don't you have a seat beside me and enjoy some tea."

Zuko nodded and sat down beside his uncle. They had not talked much the night before and to his relief his uncle had not mentioned the scene that ensued once he and Katara had returned to camp the previous evening. Iroh handed him some tea, which he gladly accepted. Though he did not share his uncle's enthusiasm for the brew, he found that today it was just what he needed. As he sipped from his cup he stared out at the flames before him, enjoying the quiet of the early morning.

From beside him his uncle spoke in a hushed voice, "You are up quite early today. Any particular reason?"

Zuko stared at the flames a moment longer and then replied, "I couldn't sleep so I decided to take a walk and clear my head."

"Anything in particular that is troubling you?" his uncle asked.

Once again he remained silent. Glancing across the fire his gaze fell on Katara, still sound asleep. Finally he said, "I guess I'm just a little apprehensive about the last two chakras. I just don't want to ruin everything that I worked so hard to unlock over the past week."

"Why do you feel that you would ruin everything?"

Zuko thought about that. He knew the answer, but he wasn't comfortable saying it to his uncle. "Aang told me about the last chakra. He said that he had to let go of the things that bound him to this world." Still gazing at Katara he said absently, "What if I can't do that? What if the thing I need to let go of is the one thing I can't live without?"

He felt his uncle's arm on his shoulder. "You may be surprised at what it is that truly binds you to this plane of existence. Sometimes our inner most desires are hidden deeply, and finding out what they are can be a complete surprise to us."

"You sound as if you're speaking from experience." He replied.

Iroh let out a sigh and then said, "After Lu Ten died, I went through a very similar journey to the one you are now taking. Though I didn't have someone as wise as Guru Pathik to guide me, I worked through the chakras with the help of another, and found much peace as a result."

Looking at his uncle, Zuko said in amazement, "Why didn't you tell this before?"

His uncle shrugged his shoulders and then replied, "You never asked."

Zuko narrowed his eyes at the old man, and could feel that old sensation of annoyance return. "I would think that I wouldn't need to ask."

"You should never assume things, Prince Zuko. Asking questions is truly the best way to finding answers."

"Another of your proverbs Uncle?"

"No, just a simple deduction." And then he smiled.

Zuko couldn't stay angry, and smiled in return. "So, care to share with me what it was that you discovered when you faced the last chakra?"

"Ask me again once you have opened them all, and I will gladly share with you."

Zuko stared at his uncle for a moment, and then turned back to the fire. "I guess this is going to be one of those things that I'll need to do on my own."

"Sometimes the best teacher is experience. You and I are different people, as are you and the Avatar. The things that we desire most will be as diverse as we are. My experience may not benefit you in the least at this point. When your time comes you will understand."

As he contemplated his uncle's response, he heard the guru approach. It seemed as if his time was closer than he thought. Rising to his feet, he readied himself to face what was to come.

* * *

The guru led him to a spot that overlooked much of the temple grounds. As they sat in the familiar meditative pose, Zuko felt the apprehension from earlier return. Taking a deep breath he let it out and tried to calm himself.

The guru's voice broke through the stillness of the morning. "The next chakra that you will face is called the light chakra. It is located in the center of the forehead and is sometimes referred to as the third eye. It deals with insight and is blocked by illusion. The third eye is like a gateway into the realm of our higher consciousness. As you work through this chakra you will find yourself becoming more and more enlightened. You may experience things such as visions and out of body experiences similar to what you felt when you opened the fire chakra. Do not let this scare you. Though these visions may be real, they cannot harm you physically, and the knowledge that you gain from them will be invaluable."

Zuko reflected on what Guru Pathik said. Though he did not look forward to reliving the experiences from a few days ago, he knew that he would have to face whatever came his way if he was to open this chakra. Silently he nodded to the guru. The old man smiled and said simply, "Let us begin."

Closing his eyes he focused on his breathing. He could feel his body relax, and he cleared his mind of any thoughts that were troubling him. As he felt the familiar calm envelope him he heard his uncle's voice speaking as if he were right there with him.

"_...in our family things are not always what they seem_."

Zuko wondered why these words from months ago would suddenly spring into his mind when suddenly he found himself being pulled away from the present. Looking around at his surroundings he found himself in the Fire Lord's throne room. He knew it was the throne room, but it looked somehow different then he last saw it. As he looked around he noticed a man sitting on the throne. It was not his father or his grandfather, and as he continued to stare he realized that it was Fire Lord Sozen. His great grandfather had been dead for almost a century, but Zuko recognized him from paintings and the many statues that were present around his nation.

As he looked around he noticed another figure present in the room. His breath caught in his throat, and he felt something akin to fear grip his heart. This man was easily recognizable. He had seen him with his own eyes months earlier and the encounter still left him awed.

Avatar Roku looked younger then when he had seen him at the temple, but not by that much. He glared at Fire Lord Sozen and spoke with a voice full of anger. "I am the Avatar. You cannot command me to fight for any one nation."

His ancestor looked at the Avatar and said heatedly, "You are a citizen of this nation first and as a faithful subject I expect you to fight for the better interests of our country!"

"You ask me to fight for your interests, not that of the Fire Nation."

"I am the Fire Nation. My interests are therefore that of every citizen. As your Fire Lord I command you to help your nation defeat the other nations of this world."

"What you demand is insanity. The other nations live in harmony with each other. If you destroy that harmony, you will destroy the balance of the world and throw it into complete chaos. I cannot and will not follow such a command."

"I am your Lord. You cannot refuse me!" Sozen replied, his voice roaring through the room.

"I may be Fire Nation, but as Avatar I am loyal to no one nation. I am the bridge between them all and the spirit world. To do as you demand would place me in direct conflict with who I am."

The Fire Lord rose to his feet and the flames around him danced higher with his temper. "You will not defy me Roku!"

The Avatar's eyes took on a momentary glow, and then in voice that seemed to be that of many voices banded together he said, "It is you who should not defy me! I am as old as time itself. An ascended being come down from the heavens to provide balance and order in this world. You are nothing compared to me. You think you have power, but you are insignificant in the face of the universe and all it holds. What you desire, domination and superiority, will bring nothing but death and destruction to this world.

"If you try to carry out your plans all the nations will suffer. But your nation, the Fire Nation, will suffer the most. You will create a rift between your country and the rest of the world that will be all but impossible to repair. Your descendants will also pay a high price. Your family will be cursed with strife and a thirst for power that will border on madness. Father will turn against son, brother against brother. There will be disharmony and death through every generation to come. Your house will be in conflict with the spiritual realm and with the Avatar. Your pride will be your downfall as it will be for all generations to come. Complete humility will be your only savior."

Sozen stood firm. "We are sons of Agni. The Royal Family has the blood of the gods flowing through its veins. We have no need for humility. Our power, our abilities are far superior to that of any other nation and we will control them all. I will find a way to defeat the other nations with or without you Roku. Stand with me and you will share in the glory. Defy me and you will be a traitor to our nation."

"You are a power hungry fool, Sozen. It is you who tempts fate and it is your family that will eventually pay the price. If you come for me you will sever any connection between the Avatar and your house. Only disharmony will follow until the one comes who will set things right. You can try to eliminate me but my spirit will live on in every avatar to follow. Eventually my death will be revenged and balance will be restored to this world."

At this Sozen threw his head back and roared. Flames shot from his mouth as the rage at Roku's words enveloped him. In a flash he regained his composure and blasted flames in the Avatar's direction. Roku deflected the flames by encasing himself within a ball of fire. As the flames disappeared so did the Avatar. The guards who had been witness to the entire scene cowered in fear at what they had just witnessed.

Zuko found himself just as awed. As he looked toward Sozen he felt a strange tugging sensation. Suddenly he found himself looking through the eyes of his ancestor. He could feel Sozen's rage at what had just occurred.

_How dare Roku defy him? He was the Fire Lord. He was the most powerful man in the world. But Roku was the most powerful being. Sozen would always be mortal. His power would eventually die when he did. Roku was right. His spirit would live on forever, as long as there was an Avatar. As long as the cycle wasn't broken. _

_With that Sozen felt a smile creep into his features. That was the answer. He would find a way to not only destroy Roku, but the avatar cycle as well. Somehow he would find the power to accomplish such a task and then he would rule the world._

_Looking out over the guards in his throne room he felt annoyed. They were useless and worse yet they were the only other souls who had witnessed what had transpired between him and Roku. They would need to be silenced. Without remorse he unleashed a brutal attack killing every man present. No one would know what had happened today. Roku would be hunted down as a traitor and eventually killed. Then he would use the time until the next Avatar was revealed to find a way to destroy him once and for all._

* * *

Zuko felt his vision cloud as the scene before him fell away. He could feel his spirit disconnect from Sozen and felt a sense of relief. The bitterness and hatred that his ancestor felt for Avatar Roku was overwhelming and he was glad to be free of it. But his sense of relief was short lived. As his vision cleared he found himself once again in the Fire Lord's throne room. But as he looked at Sozen he could tell that time had past. Maybe only a few years, but those years had been unkind to the Fire Lord. His faced seemed more pinched and his eyes held a gleam that touched on insanity.

Before the throne stood one of the Fire Sages. In a voice filled with sorrow he relayed the information of Avatar Roku's death. Sozen reacted with shock and sadness, but Zuko knew that it was a lie. His great grandfather hated Roku and they had parted on the worst of terms. In his heart he questioned whether or not the man had something to do with the Avatar's demise.

Sozen discussed with the sage the necessary preparations for the Avatar's funeral and cremation and then dismissed the man. Calling in one of his trusted aides he relayed the information the sage had given him and then talked of the future.

"The next avatar will be born into the Air Nomads. We have some time until the child will come of age. Until then we will search for a way to destroy them as well as the new avatar. Roku's spirit will not live on for very long." With that he smiled. The aide returned the smile and then bowed low before leaving the throne room.

Zuko felt a chill wash over him. He had known that his great grandfather had had a falling out with the Avatar, but he was amazed at the depths of his hatred for the man. His plan to destroy the avatar just to get back at Roku bordered on insanity. History would remember the Avatar as a hero and the Fire Nation citizens would look to him with pride and love. Sozen was content to let those memories stand. In his heart he would defeat the Avatar. That was what was important. The curse that Roku had spoken of was already claiming his great grandfather's mind. Zuko only could wonder at just how many more would succumb to the madness before this was over.

* * *

Once again the vision before him faded as another began to take shape. He now found himself standing on a balcony. Below him stood more soldiers than he could count. They were dressed in full armor and appeared ready for battle. Looking around him he saw his great grandfather once again. This time the man appeared much older. Around him stood the Fire Sages. They were chanting and Zuko thought that he had never seen a ceremony quite like this one before. He wondered exactly what was happening when suddenly the air around him became very cold. As the temperature dropped he began to notice a mist begin to swirl around Sozen, and as the sages continued to chant the mist began to take shape. Figures that appeared to be dragons danced around the Fire Lord. They hissed and snapped their snouts at Sozen.

Suddenly they were upon his ancestor. Their bodies seemed to pass in and out of his body. Each time they did this they seemed to grow until finally they stopped. Merging together into one being they shot up into the evening sky towards the heavens. Zuko followed their path and it was then that he noticed the comet that streaked through the sky. The immense spirit dragon raced towards it until it seemed as if the two collided. A brilliant light flashed across the sky and then the dragon made its return. As it headed for Sozen he stretched out his arms and embraced the beast.

Closing his eyes he hugged the dragon to him until it was gone. The air around them grew still. It seemed as if the entire world was waiting for what was about to happen next. Slowly Sozen opened his eyes. The brilliant light from earlier now burned from his eyes and he smiled as he turned his fiery gaze towards the soldiers below.

"The time has finally come. Tonight I posses the power of the comet. As long as the comet makes its way through our skies I will be invincible, as will you. From this moment on the rest of the world will bow down before the Fire Nation. The superiority of our element over all the others will be hard to dismiss."

The soldiers below let out a loud cheer as his words began to whip them into frenzy. Sozen smiled and continued, "We start our assaults at the three air temples. With our new found power we will flush out the Avatar and destroy his people."

At this the cheers grew even louder. Sozen waited for the excitement to die down before he spoke again. "The Avatar will not be able to withstand our power, and with him out of our way the Fire Nation will rule the world!"

The noise became deafening. Sozen stood back and surveyed the crowd before him. Finally he raised his arms and the noise was silenced. "Bow down before your master and receive the power of the comet." With that every person below prostrated themselves before the Fire Lord. Suddenly white light shot from his hands and enveloped the soldiers. "My strength is now yours as well. Tomorrow we will strike out at our enemies. No one will stand in our way!"

The soldiers rose and once again cheered their Fire Lord. Zuko stood silent in awe of all that had transpired. It was one thing to read about the past, but to witness the power of the comet firsthand was magnificent. It was hard not to fall under its seductive spell.

* * *

As he marveled at the scene before him, it began to fade away. Once again he was moving through time, but when his vision cleared he noticed that he was no longer in the Fire Nation. As he looked around him he realized that he was among the Air Nomads. Only this temple was smaller than the Eastern Air Temple. Instinctively he knew that this was Aang's home; the temple that he spoke of the previous evening; the temple that he would have to leave behind. Zuko noticed that the skies above him were heavy with rain and he began to look for shelter.

Walking through the buildings he followed the lead of some unknown force until he came to one of the cells. Opening the door he noticed an old man reaching for a parchment lying on the bed. As the man opened the parchment his expression fell and Zuko knew that whatever he had learned was not good. Walking to the window the old monk stared out at the now raging storm. He looked worried and whispered, "Be safe Aang."

Zuko's eyes widen at the words and he knew that this was Monk Gyatso, the man that Aang was being forced to leave behind. It seemed as if Aang had taken matters into his own hands and had left the temple alone. He felt sadness for the boy as well as for this monk who loved him so. It was unfair that Aang should have to leave, but even more unfair that he should have to shoulder so much responsibility at such a young age.

Suddenly the scene before him seemed to speed up. Days seemed to pass within minutes and Zuko found himself immersed in the day to day living of these people at the temple. He found a sense of peace from watching them and almost felt a longing to join them in their simple life. Everything seemed so balanced and whole, but under the surface he could feel a tension starting to build mostly from the older monks. Something was happening and Aang's disappearance was only a small part of it. He found them frequently watching the skies and he wondered what they were searching for until one night when a powerful light seemed reach from the heavens down to the earth. It was then that he remembered the comet. Its power had been forgotten as he had enjoyed the serene life at the temple. Now it came back with frightening speed.

He knew what was to come. He had witnessed first hand Sozen's power and his madness. In his heart he sensed that these older monks knew as well. It was just a matter of time. Soon the Fire Nation would be upon them.

Then came the day when the skies took on an eerie red glow and an unnatural heat seemed to permeate the air. Without warning the war had started. The once peaceful temple now became chaos. The Fire Nation soldiers made their way through the grounds killing everybody in sight. Their eyes blazed with an eerie white light that, combined with their face masks, made for a terrifying sight.

Zuko screamed out and tried to run, but he was rooted to the spot. Horrified at the scene before him he tried to shut his eyes, but it was no use. He couldn't escape it. He was forced to watch the destruction of this peaceful people and their civilization.

The power of the comet consumed all in its path. The fire that the benders produced was so intense that it reduced the nomads to ashes within minutes. As the battle waged on he could hear less and less screaming. An unnatural silence fell upon the temple and he realized that the Air Benders were all dead.

All but one, he soon discovered. Finally able to move he followed a group of Fire Benders as they chased one remaining monk, Gyatso. He led them to a building away from the main temple area. Once inside he turned to the soldiers and prepared to fight. It was then that one of the soldiers spoke up. The voice was that of Sozen, but Zuko knew that his great grandfather was not here. The power of the comet that he had bestowed upon his soldiers now enabled him to possess them at will even from as far away as the Fire Nation.

"Tell me where he is. What have you done with the Avatar?"

Gyatso looked at the soldier but said nothing.

This enraged Sozen who then yelled, "I know that you are hiding him. We killed all the children, but none seemed to possess the power of the Avatar."

Quietly Gyatso replied, "He is still a child, not yet fully realized. What did you expect from him? If you have killed them all then he is dead as well."

"You seem so sure of yourself old man. I would have to agree, but something tells me that you are lying."

"Then he must be at another temple." Gyatso replied.

The soldier paused for a moment and Zuko knew that Sozen was searching the other temples; his spirit racing among his followers. Finally he said, "There is no one left. You are the last of the Air Benders. All the other temples have been destroyed. Now tell me where he is!"

Gyatso hung his head. They were all gone. A whole race of people destroyed. To Zuko it was overwhelming. He couldn't begin to imagine how the monk felt. Looking up Gyatso said, "I will never let you have him."

With that he began to move his hands in a circular motion. Zuko could feel the air being sucked from the room. Even with the comet's power, the soldiers' flames could not ignite. One by one the men began to fall, clutching their throats and gasping for air. Gyatso continued until not a soldier remained standing. He then fell back against the wall. At his feet lay the bodies of at least fifty men.

Gasping for air, the old man sat with tears streaming down his face. All that he loved was gone. The Air Nomads were no more. His race had been extinguished. Looking towards Zuko he asked, "Why?"

Zuko's breath caught in his throat. Could Gyatso see him? He couldn't be sure, but he responded anyway, "My great grandfather's lust for power has driven him insane. He wants nothing more than to rule the world, and to do that he must destroy the Avatar."

"He will not get Aang."

Zuko smiled a bittersweet smile and said, 'No he won't."

Gyatso returned his smile and said, "He is just a boy. He has no one now to watch over him."

"He has friends now, loyal friends, who will fight with him to the end."

"But he needs something more." In a weak voice he continued, "Promise me that you will look out for him. Promise me..."

Zuko nodded and replied, "I promise."

* * *

With that said, he felt himself propelled again through time. When he came to, he found himself back in the present. The lightness that he had felt in the early days at the Southern Air Temple had vanished, and in its place was a heaviness that was hard to bear. In his visions he had experienced a time when the world was in balance, but now he became painfully aware that that balance was gone. The Air Nomads had been destroyed, and when Aang died they would truly cease to exist. The reality of that, the destruction of an entire race of people, was suffocating.

Turning to the guru he said, "I can feel the loss of the Air Benders. Before I never realized just what that meant for the world, but now I can see the hole left by their absence. I can feel the emptiness left behind by my great grandfather's decision to annihilate them."

Guru Pathik stared out over the temple grounds, and in a voice filled with sadness he said, "I have felt their loss for some time now. They were a peaceful people with much love in their hearts, but they lived their lives apart from the rest of the world. Their destruction began this war, but due to their detachment from the other nations the enormity of their loss was not fully realized.

"Since that time most people have been struggling just to stay alive. Avoiding the Fire Nation has kept them distracted. The Air Nomads have become more a legend to them now. There are very few of us left that remember how it felt to have that balance between the nations. You have received a rare gift through your visions, and now you too can understand."

The old man grew quiet and Zuko thought about what he had said. Remembering the rest of his visions he said, "I always believed that the comet's power was a good thing. It enabled the Fire Nation to demonstrate its true power and superiority over the other nations. But the dominance came at a great price both to the world and to my people. Sozen's Comet has been nothing more than a curse given to us by a man who would sell his soul to darkness in order to gain power. It has driven my family to madness and has destroyed all in its path."

"And now it is set to return." The guru replied.

"My father believes that he can use its power to defeat the other nations once and for all, but he doesn't see what that will do to the world. The Water Tribe has been all but decimated and if he destroys the Earth Kingdom there will be nothing left. Any chance at restoring peace and balance depends on Aang's ability to stop him and end this war."

"It is an awesome responsibility."

"Still he is our only hope. He may be our last hope."

"So you are beginning to see what is truly at play here young prince. You have gained much insight today. By opening this chakra you are now more in touch with the spiritual realm than ever before. This is an ability that will aid you well in the trials to come."

Zuko looked at him puzzled by his remarks. Had he opened the chakra? He didn't feel the rush that always came when he met success. He was about to speak when the guru smiled and said, "This chakra brings understanding. The fact that you have been able to understand what you have seen shows that you have opened it."

"Now I just need to apply it."

Guru Pathik nodded in return. Zuko thought about his fears of opening the last chakra. His worries from earlier still plagued him, but he now knew that he had no choice. He would have to face his anxieties if he was to be of any use to Aang and to the world.

"I want to open the next chakra now, while these visions are still fresh in my mind."

The guru replied, "The last chakra will be very demanding of you. More so than any other you have opened before. You must be ready for it."

"I don't think I'll ever be more ready than at this moment."

The guru nodded his head and said, "Then let's begin."

* * *

**A.N. **I always had a sense of what I wanted to convey in this chapter, but as I wrote it it sort of took on a life of its own. I revised it several times (much thanks to my daughter who's imput helped me keep my perspective) and I hope that it works. This is of course pure fiction though I did find inspiration from a few areas.

(1) The trailer for Season III - there is a scene with a man that I thought could be Sozen. His eyes are glowing and it made me wonder about the comet and just how its power was manifested. So I wrote my take in this chapter.

(2) There was some falling out between Roku and Sozen so I went with that in terms of this story.

(3) I always wondered why there was no evidence of the Air Nomads existence when Aang returned to the temple and why Gyatso and those Fire Benders remains were left. So once again I used that to create the scene at the temple.

I hope you enjoy it, even though it is long. Once again it is fiction and I know that there are a lot of people who scream canon whenever someone deviates but from here out it is all deviation. This story is fiction based on the series and the characters themselves. I hope I have stayed true to them. And I hope I don't sound too bitchy but I guess I'm a little anxious about this chapter.

Thanks again to all who review. I greatly appreciate your imput.


	23. Chapter 22 The Block

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**The Block**

Zuko once again resumed his meditative pose. His breathing grew steady and he listened as the guru explained the last chakra that he was to open.

"The seventh chakra is known as the Crown Chakra. It is located at the top of your head and symbolizes detachment from illusion. By opening this chakra you will find yourself in union with the cosmic forces of the universe. You will become enlightened to truths about humankind not seen by many. It will bring a sense of understanding and peace.

"This chakra is blocked by our earthly attachments. You must find the things that tie you to this world and let them go. It is only by doing this that you will achieve success."

Zuko let the guru's words penetrate his thoughts. Let go of his earthly attachments. He knew he had to do it to open this chakra. He sat still and tried to clear his head, but images of Katara kept intruding. He remembered the first time he saw her in the South Pole, his mind too occupied with capturing the Avatar to pay her much notice. Their encounters over the past year raced before him; capturing her to find the whereabouts of the Avatar; tracking her scent with the shirshu in the hopes of discovering the boy; and of course battling her at the North Pole. They had been enemies for so long that it seemed almost funny that they would end up imprisoned together in Ba Sing Se.

His thoughts raced to that moment in time. It was the first time that he saw her as anything other than the Avatar's companion; his enemy. A bond had started between them only to be broken by his own need for power and honor. He still marveled at how she was able to get beyond that betrayal and heal him less than a week later.

Now he was faced with the realization that he had grown attached to her. She was his first true friend, and she brought him comfort that he had not experienced since his mother's disappearance. He had not realized how lonely he had been, how empty he was inside, until she offered him her friendship. And he knew that it had not been easy for her to do. He had betrayed her, and she had told him that she was afraid to trust him again. Yet she had let those fears go and given him a second chance.

How could he not feel attachment for her? Her friendship was the only thing that had kept him going as he opened these chakras. Without her, the grief from relieving the agni kai and the realization that his father didn't love him would have been too much to bear. He may have opened the chakras, but it was her love and compassion that helped him to learn from them.

But what if he had to give that up? Aang's distress from last night washed through him and he realized that he had to face this. Still, he wondered if maybe there was something else. Maybe it was much more than he could see at this moment. All he knew was that he couldn't get beyond his feelings for her. He couldn't see the truth through his immediate fears.

Opening his eyes he met the steady gaze of Guru Pathik. "I can't relax." He said "I feel blocked. My fears are keeping me from moving forward."

"That is very perceptive of you. You must confront these fears and deal with them if you are to move on. What is it that has you so concerned?"

Zuko looked down. It was easy to admit his fears to himself, but he felt awkward voicing them to the guru. "Last night I talked with Aang. We discussed the last chakra, and he told me about his troubles the first time he tried to open it."

"Ah, and you are afraid that you may have to let go of similar attachments?"

Zuko blushed at the realization that his fears were so obvious. Stumbling over his words he replied, "It's just that Katara is my friend... I enjoy her company... she has really helped me a lot... I just don't see how letting her go would help me."

The guru smiled at his explanation and said in a calm voice, "Letting go of Katara would be the worst thing you could do."

Zuko's eyes grew wide as he stared at the guru. Part of him wanted to leap from his spot with joy, while another part sat confused by his words. "I don't understand. I thought that I was supposed to let go of the things that attached me to this world. You told Aang that his feelings for Katara stood in his way from opening the chakra, but now your telling me that to let go of my feelings would block me further?"

"You and Aang are very different people. Though you may share some common bonds, your needs are not the same. Aang's love for Katara prevented him from his duties as the Avatar. He could not see beyond his desire for her to make the choices that he would need to as he drew closer to his destiny. His concern for her outweighed his concern for the world, and as Avatar that presented a problem."

"But what of my choices." He asked. "Wouldn't my feelings for her taint my decisions?"

"Look back over the choices you have made in the past." The guru began, "Have your decisions been made for love of others or your own desires?"

This question took him aback. Did the guru find him so selfish? Was he really that shallow that he chose his own needs over that of everyone else? He thought over the past three years. He had definitely been driven by a need to capture the Avatar so that he could return home. His needs had taken precedent over everything else. His drive had been so fierce that he had been willing to betray his uncle just so that he could find favor once again in his father's eyes.

But then when had making decisions with his heart ever truly benefited him? The last time he spoke out in defense of others he had been severely punished; burned and disfigured at the hands of his own father and then banished form his country for his weakness.

Still, was he truly that selfish? Over the past year he had made decisions based on the needs of others. He had turned his ship around in the face of the typhoon even though it meant losing the Avatar's trail. He had seen a need to protect his crew. His selfish desires had been all too evident at that point for even him to ignore.

And then there was the time in that Earth Kingdom village. He had rescued Lee because he knew it was the right thing to do. He could not let his family and town be bullied any longer. Besides he had grown attached to the boy. He couldn't let him suffer. So he risked his life and his anonymity to help the boy. But in the end he had been discovered. The town had driven him out, sparing his life only because he had rid them of the thugs that had terrorized them for so long. The look of hatred on Lee's face still hurt him, but he had to admit that it had been worth it. He had done the right thing and he had done it selflessly.

Answering truthfully he said, "Most of my decisions had been for my own benefit, but I have made some decisions based on the needs of others."

"And when you made those decisions for the good of others, how did it make you feel?"

Zuko thought about that for a moment. His selfish decisions always left him feeling empty, even when he got what he desired as a result. But the truly selfless decisions had brought him a sense of freedom, even if he suffered as a consequence. "I guess I felt free." He replied.

"There you go."

"I don't understand?"

"Decisions based on love free us from the burdens of this world. Selfish decisions may get us what we desire, but they also enslave us to our own needs. They bind us further to this plane of existence."

"I still don't get what this has to do with Katara." He said in reply.

The guru sat quietly for a moment collecting his thoughts and then said, "Aang has always known love. The Air Nomads cared for each other freely and without constraints or limitations. Making decisions for the sake of others comes easily to him. Loving Katara confused his sense of unconditional love and giving. He started to make decisions based on her needs. His decisions became selfish in a way, and started to bind him to the world making it impossible to move to a higher plane of consciousness.

Your life has been very different. Love for you has always come with conditions. Your decisions began to be shaped by how they would benefit you most. Love had to be earned and that made it difficult for you to make choices that would benefit others."

"But my mother loved me unconditionally." He interjected.

"Yes, she did. And her love for you enabled her to make the choice to sacrifice herself for your sake."

"She shouldn't have done that." He said before he could stop himself.

"She wouldn't have been able to live with herself if she hadn't. Her love for you enabled her to truly free herself of this world. It is the ultimate act of love that enables us to put others before us, even though we may pay the ultimate price in the end. That kind of love brings incredible freedom. You experienced that when you spoke up in defense of those soldiers. You knew what was right and you found the freedom to do the right thing."

"But it cost me everything." He replied bitterly.

"Did it really? If you had sat by and let those men be slaughtered, would you truly be happy? Could you have lived with that decision?"

"No." he said softly.

"Then you understand what your mother did. Love of others sets us free. Loving Katara, making decisions based on that love, will free you more than it will bind you. In fact it was the loss of those you loved that had hardened your heart in the past. In fact I would venture to say that opening yourself up to love is what has helped you progress through these chakras as well as you have."

He knew that that was true. He had realized that just moments earlier. Loving Katara had helped him to deal with the chakras better. Loving Katara, that thought took him back for a moment, and he suddenly felt a little bit uneasy. Did he love her? Is that why he found the thought of losing her so unbearable?

He definitely enjoyed her company and being around her gave him great pleasure, but love? He wasn't sure. Still that would explain a lot about how he had been feeling over the past few days. She had become very special to him. She knew him as an enemy and a friend. She accepted his faults and cared for him anyways. Being with her made him feel free to be himself.

Free to be himself. Love set you free; that was what the guru had said. Katara's actions and his love for her gave him a freedom that nothing else had in the past. Slowly he began to see what the guru had been trying to explain. He did not have to let her go. In fact is was essential to opening this chakra that he hold on to his feelings.

Relaxing again he let out an involuntary smile. He was amazed at how much this knowledge gave him a sense of relief. He could love Katara and still face his destiny. Looking at the guru he said, "I understand now. Thank you."

The guru looked at him with a smile. "I'm glad I could help. But I am afraid that the truly hard work is now before you. Discovering what it is that binds you to this world will not be as easy. You must search your heart and discover your desires. What is it that truly holds you back? When you have realized that, you will be able to face it and let it go."

Zuko nodded his head and once again closed his eyes. Facing what lie ahead may be difficult, but knowing that he wouldn't have to lose the love he had finally found in Katara made it easier to bear.

* * *

**A.N. **This chapter was originally just going to be the beginning of the Crown Chakra, but it took on a life of its own and I thought it should stand separate. I felt that Zuko's feelings for Katara would hold him back, hence the name. But as I read it to my daughter she said it sounded like a therapy session. I guess it does, but who could benefit more from therapy than Zuko? 

Anyways I hope you like it. The real stuff begins next and I hope I can write it as powerfully as I imagine it. I did actually hint to what he needs to give up in the last chapter, but it was very subtle (at least I think it was). I would like to post the next chapter soon, but I can't promise anything.

Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. I hope this holds everyone over until the next chapter. I did think it needed to be written. Please let me know what you think.

_On a side note - many peole have asked about The Walls Between Them. I have not abandoned the story but I want to finish this one first so that I can really put everything into the climax of the story. Hopefully the new baby will sleep alot and I can spend my maternity leave writing!_


	24. Chapter 23 The Crown Chakra Part I

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**The Crown Chakra**

Zuko sat in silence for some time as he tried to clear his mind. Relief swept through him as he realized that he did not have to give up Katara, but now that relief was quickly fading as he thought about what lie ahead. The guru had said that it would be difficult, but his love for Katara would see him through. Armed with that knowledge, he let out a breath and relaxed his body.

He was used to hours spent meditating, so when nothing happened he simply kept himself still. The answers would come. He knew they would. All he had to do was be patient. Of course patience was not a virtue he excelled in; still he wanted to do this so he would wait.

As time went by he began to feel warm. It was almost as if he were feverish. He hadn't felt like this since Ba Sing Se. As his temperature began to rise he felt himself becoming extremely thirsty. All he could think about was quenching that thirst when suddenly he found himself being pulled from the present. Opening his eyes he was once again in the palace sitting upon the throne. It was just like his dream before. He looked out at the soldiers gathered at attention waiting for his commands. He could feel the power and respect that came from being their master and it gave him a heady thrill.

As he relished in these feelings he felt a warm breath by his ear, and before he could react the Blue Dragon spoke, "Welcome back Fire Lord Zuko. Your presence here has been sorely missed."

He could feel himself becoming agitated. She no longer scared him; he had conquered his fear of her when he started this journey almost two weeks ago. In an annoyed voice he said, "What is it that you want from me."

"Oh, Fire Lord Zuko, it is not what I want from you, but what you want from me." She replied smugly.

"You have nothing that I want."

"I wouldn't be so sure." The dragon almost purred in his ear. "I have the answer to what you are seeking. I know what binds you to this plane, even if you yourself can not see it."

He felt himself stiffen at her words. How could she know what he couldn't let go of? How could she possibly see what he himself couldn't? "You are a liar. You have always been and you always will be."

"Are you so certain? All lies have some basis in the truth, do they not? Everything that I have told you in the past was not entirely without truth. After all Father was going to kill you, if Mother hadn't interfered. And he did want you home, even if it was to lock you away because you had become too much of an embarrassment."

"Shut up!" He yelled. The heat inside of him was becoming unbearable and he knew that the fever from earlier had indeed returned. His mind became clouded as he tried to fight its effects. Closing his eyes he said, "You cannot suck me in this time. I am on to your ways. I know how you work, and I will not listen to you."

"Such a shame." She hissed in his ear. "You are really making this harder than it has to be, Zuko. I have what you want and I am willing to share it with you. All you have to do is listen."

"I don't want to listen to you. I will do this on my own. I don't need your help."

The Blue Dragon laughed and said, "But you do. You think that you're strong, but you are not. You are weak Zuko. You always have been. Father knew that from the moment you were born. That's why he hated you so. You were a failure from the beginning and in the end you will die a failure."

Putting his hands over his ears he yelled, "Leave me be. I will not listen to you."

"Suit yourself, but in the end you will seek me out. You won't be able to resist."

With that she disappeared as did everyone else in the throne room. He sat staring out into the empty room. His thoughts were still focused on opening the chakra. How could the Blue Dragon possibly know what bound him to this world? He wasn't even sure what it was. He thought back to her greeting earlier; _Fire Lord Zuko._ Could it be that simple? Was that what he couldn't let go of; his need to be the next Fire Lord.

He contemplated that for a moment. Ever since his father ascended to the throne, he had stood next in line. It was a responsibility that both awed and thrilled him. Still he had always pictured it as something he would inherit many years from now. He still had plenty of time to grow and mature into a leader that would be fit to rule the greatest nation on the planet. But if the Avatar was successful his father would perish before the summer's end. It seemed logical that he would inherit his title and position, but he was still banished. His honor had not been restored in the eyes of his countrymen. He knew that he would not be accepted as their next Fire Lord.

Of course respect had never been something that he seemed to command from other people. Even while in exile he couldn't maintain complete order on his own vessel. If it hadn't been for his uncle he would have probably lost his ship long before Zhao destroyed it. Still he had been gaining some ground with the crew. Things definitely seemed to improve after he had risked his life to save the helmsman during the typhoon they had encountered while chasing the Avatar. And his willingness to ultimately put their safety ahead of his own desires seemed to earn him the respect that he had thought he deserved just by birthright.

Just like he had to earn the respect of his men, he knew that he would have to earn the respect of his subjects. He was only seventeen, and he knew, no matter how hard it was to admit to himself, that he still had a lot to learn before he would be ready to rule. But his chance to learn what was expected of him had been cut short by his banishment. He had no idea where to begin to lead a country, let alone rebuild after one hundred years of war. In his heart he knew that it would take a more experienced man than himself to do that job; someone with patience, understanding, and the ability to work with the other leaders of the world to form a lasting peace. He couldn't even get along with his peers. How did he expect to restore peace?

Knowing that he was not the best person to sit on the throne did make the reality of it any easier to bear. Still he knew that in order for his country to survive the aftermath of one hundred years of violence, it would need a stronger leader than himself. Deep down he knew that man was his uncle. Iroh had been the rightful heir until Ozai had usurped the throne from him. Zuko wasn't sure how his father had done it, but he knew that Iroh truly deserved to be Fire Lord. He also knew that Iroh was his country's best chance at peace and prosperity.

In the end he knew that he should not be the one sitting on the throne. Not yet at least. Maybe in time; maybe after he had gained the experience necessary to do the job right. For now he was willing to let it go.

With that decision made he felt the heated breath of the Blue Dragon once again on the back of his neck. "Well that was easier than I expected. Of course admitting that you are weak shouldn't be so difficult. You've been facing it all your life. Still I would have thought you would try harder to hold on to the throne."

"I don't want it!" he snapped back, angry that she had returned.

"You keep telling yourself that. Maybe someday you will truly believe it. Though I knew that the throne was never what you were truly looking for. What you seek will be much harder to let go of. In the end I don't think that you will be able to do it. After all, haven't you lost enough already in your life? How much more should you have to let go of?" She asked in a seductive voice.

Closing his eyes tightly he yelled, "I will not let you sway me! I will open this chakra and I will discover the path to my destiny."

"Such determination. Still I don't think you will find it as easy a task as this one was. In fact I don't think you'll get beyond the next test."

He felt the heat of the fever begin to rise. Once again he thought of how thirsty he was; how much he just wanted to cool his achingly dry throat. He was so tired of dealing with the Blue Dragon. "Leave me be!" he panted. "I will do this and I don't need your _help_ in doing so."

The Blue Dragon laughed and then disappeared again. He felt himself start to sway. The fever was making him weak, and he wondered if he would have the stamina to finish this task. He knew he needed help, but not from the likes of her. Grabbing his head in his hands he tried to steady himself.

* * *

Suddenly he felt the room begin to change. He could feel a cool, wet breeze, blow across his skin. Taking a deep breath he could smell the salty air about him, and without having to open his eyes he knew where he was. This had been one of his favorite spots as a child, and in all his travels since his banishment he had never found a place quite as beautiful or as tranquil. 

Opening his eyes he gazed about him. The beach was just as he had remembered from his youth. The crystal blue water sparkled as it reflected the sunlight. At his feet was the fine white sand that he had teasingly told Azula was sugar. The memory made him smile. He could still see her spitting out the sand after taking in a huge mouthful. His mother had not been too happy with him for teasing the baby like that, but he gladly took his punishment. It had been worth it to see the expression on her face. And besides, he had fallen for the same trick at the hands of his cousin. It only seemed fair to hand it down to his sister.

He hadn't realized just how much he missed this place until this moment. Not only was the tropical beach a beautiful sight to behold, but it held so many happy memories for him. His family had spent many of the warm summer months vacationing here when he was a small child. It was a time in his life where Azula still looked up to him with awe simply because he was her older brother. It was also the only time that he remembered feeling safe and secure in his father's love. Their family had been happy in the beginning. It wasn't until Azula started to bend that things seemed to change. Once she realized that she was better than him, that his father saw her as the prodigy that she was, life was never quite as serene again. From that point on he had always felt one step behind. He started to see his worth only in his ability to do things well. It was at that moment that he started to realize that his father's love came at a price, and that he didn't try hard enough he could lose it.

Pushing the painful memories aside, he focused on the scene before him. Looking around he saw a woman playing by the shore with her two small children. He knew it was his mother along with himself and Azula. Ursa looked very content as her children played in the surf. A smile appeared once again on his face as he watched the memory play out before him.

"They look very happy." Came a voice from beside him. Turning he looked into the smiling face of Aang.

"What are you doing here?" he asked confused.

"I'm just enjoying the sights. You know the Fire Nation truly is beautiful. I had forgotten how much so after so long a time away."

Zuko stared at him. When had he been to the Fire Nation? The child had been missing for over a hundred years and his life before that was spent sheltered within the air temples. Roku, he realized; he was seeing Zuko's home through the eyes of his previous incarnation. That realization awed him. Sometimes he just forgot who this child was and the power that lay dormant within him.

Looking back at the scene on the shoreline he said wistfully, "I have never found beauty quite like it in the entire world."

"You must miss it terribly." The Avatar said innocently.

Zuko felt a pain grip his heart. He had missed it. Not a day went by that he didn't think about going home. His banishment had been a heavy burden on him for the past three years. The knowledge that if he ever set foot on this soil again, he would be punished severely, maybe even with death was the only thing that kept him away. He wanted more than anything to return.

"I miss it more than words can say." He replied.

Aang stared at the children playing in the water. "This memory is from quite some time ago."

"Yes, it is. I wasn't more than four then, but it was a happy time."

"I'm sure it was. I remember many happy memories from my life at the Southern Air Temple as well. After Katara and Sokka found me I wanted nothing more than to go home. I wanted to return to those good times." He paused for a moment and then continued with a note of sadness in his voice. "But it wasn't quite how I remembered. After all a hundred years had passed and everyone that I loved was..."

Gone, Zuko thought. Every last one of them had died during Sozen's attack. "I'm sorry." He said.

Aang turned to him and said, "I realized that the life I had before was gone, but I had new friends and a new family to love. I carry the memory of my people in my heart. That way they are always with me, but I have moved on to a very different life now."

Zuko thought about that and replied, "My life has changed so much over the past few years. This memory is one of a few that keeps me going at times. I know that the home I remember will never be the one I return to, but still I can't help but want to go back to it."

"Sometimes we can't go back, no matter how much we want to. Life has a way of moving on without us. The life we remember just disappears, and the changes that have occurred in our absence leave us painfully aware of just how much we have lost."

"But it's not fair. I never asked for this punishment. I just wanted to do the right thing, but by doing so I lost everything. I can't return home now; not without..."

"Me." The boy simply stated.

Zuko looked down embarrassed by his outburst. "That is no longer an option." He whispered.

"Was it ever truly?" Aang asked.

Zuko stared at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, even if you could have returned a hero, would it have changed anything? This life you visualize before you ended a long time ago. Capturing me wouldn't bring it back."

He looked at the scene before him. In his heart he knew that Aang was right. This life had been gone for some time now. Closing his eyes he let the memory go. "I just wanted it so much." He whispered.

"You still carry it with you, just as I will never forget those from my life before. But it's time for you to move on with new people and new memories."

Zuko opened his eyes and looked at the empty beach in front of him. "I don't know how." He admitted.

"You already have started." The boy replied. Zuko looked again at Aang, his eyes questioning. The Avatar continued, "You've always had your uncle's love, and now you have Katara and I as well."

"You would be my friend? After all that I've done to you?"

"It hasn't been easy," The boy laughed, "But your uncle was right. There is good inside of you. I have seen it as well and I believe in you Zuko."

Zuko gazed around him. Could he really let go of his past? Could he find a home, a family, with the Avatar and his friends? He suddenly felt as if he had no choice. The past was gone, and he was never going to regain it. He could stay where he was or forge ahead with a new life.

"You're right. I do need to let it go."

Aang smiled at him and said, "Some day you will return home, and when you do you will see it through the eyes of a different person. The beauty that you remember will still be here, but the pain will be gone."

Zuko hoped the boy was right. Letting go was painful enough, but he knew that it was the only way. Once again he felt the heat of the fever intensify. This time the faintness caused by it overtook him. He could hear Aang calling to him as he lost consciousness, but he couldn't quite make out what he was saying. He was so tired. Maybe he would just sleep. Just for a little while until he felt strong enough to face the rest of this task.

* * *

"Zuko. Zuko wake up. You have to keep going. Please open your eyes." 

He felt himself reluctantly waking from his sleep. Katara's voice called to him and he wondered why he was back at camp. Opening his eyes he stared up into her face. He realized that he was lying on his back with his head in her lap. He could feel her hands as she smoothed his hair in a comforting way. Looking around he realized that they were not at camp but at the Spirit Oasis back at the North Pole. At first his mind couldn't register how they had gotten there, and then he remembered the chakra that he was trying to open.

She smiled at him and said, "You need to continue Zuko. You can't stop now. You must fight the urge to sleep."

"But I'm so tired." He yawned.

"Your fever is intensifying. Every time you move forward in this chakra, every time you let something go, you become physically weaker. Still you must not give in to it."

"But how can I fight it if I continue to loose my strength?"

"Your true strength comes from your heart and your will. The fever is a cleansing. Your soul is being purged of all the things that are keeping you from opening this chakra. You must eliminate them if you are ever to truly face what is holding you to this plane."

He was having a hard time focusing on what she was saying. His mind was confused and he said, "I don't understand. All the fever is doing is making me weak."

"No Zuko, it's quite the opposite. The fever is making you stronger" He looked at her again in confusion and she said, "When we were back in Ba Sing Se I spent one morning watching a silversmith at work. Did you know that in order to purify the silver he had to hold it in the center of the flames, where the heat was the hottest?" He continued to stare at her not seeing her point. Smiling she said, "He would hold it to that intense flame until just the right moment, when all the impurities had been removed, and then he would take it out. If he left the silver for one second too long in the flame it would be destroyed.

"Your fever is like that flame. You will have to endure it until just the right moment; when you have let go of all those things that hold you back. Only then will you be free of it. Only then will you be able to open the chakra."

"But I'm so tired."

"Zuko you have to fight the urge to sleep. If you give up now you will never open this chakra. Everything that you have endured so far will have been for nothing. You cannot let the fever consume you or like that silver you will be destroyed."

"But I'm tired of fighting. I don't even know what I'm looking for anymore. How can I open this chakra if I don't know what it is that I need to let go of?"

"You will find it. You just have to be patient."

"I'm tired of being patient. My whole life has been about waiting. I want to open this now!"

In a soothing voice she said, "Patience is a sign of humility."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Humility is the key Zuko. Remember that as you move forward."

"I've never been good at being humble. You said so yourself."

No, I guess you haven't. Your pride has definitely worked against you in the past."

"I thought you were on my side, but all you've been doing is pointing out my faults." He said with a slight pout.

"I am on your side," she said as she continued to run her fingers through his hair. "Loving someone sometimes means helping them face things that they would rather leave alone."

He looked into her eyes and she smiled in return. Did she love him or was this just a product of his fevered imagination? Reaching up he grabbed her arm tightly. "Please don't leave me." He rasped.

"I'll always be here for you."

The burning intensified and he moaned from the discomfort. He really did want to sleep. In all his life he had never felt so weak. "Katara I am so afraid."

"You can do this Zuko. You are not alone. Remember that. No matter what happens, you are not alone in this."

He could feel his grip on her lessening as the fever consumed him. "Please don't leave me." He pleaded.

"I will never leave you. I will always be in your heart. But you must continue on without me for now. When this is over I will be waiting for you."

* * *

As his grip on her let go he could feel the scene around him disappear and he felt himself starting to fall. He hit the floor with a painful jolt, and slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position. Leaning back against a wall he sat panting, trying to get his breath. Looking around at his new surroundings he realized that he was back in his apartment in Ba Sing Se. On the opposite side of the wall from him was the wash basin. Slowly rising he went over to it and found it filled with cool water. 

Leaning over the basin he splashed the water over his face and hair. The coolness of the water brought a slight relief to his fevered body, but not enough. He wondered just how much more he could take until he was ready to open the chakra.

Looking up he noticed the mirror in front of it. Catching his reflection he let out a scream. Behind him he heard the laughing voice of Azula. "As if your face isn't frightening enough!"

He struggled to move away, but he felt as if his feet where frozen to the floor. Unable to move or even blink his eyes, he was forced to stare at the reflection before him. Just as during his fever in Ba Sing Se he was faced with the image of his face unblemished by the burn his father had given him. His head was shaven completely bald, and he bore the tattoo mark of a master air bender. One master air bender in particular.

"You've been spending so much time around the Avatar that you're starting to look like him. Really Zuko, it's almost impossible to see where he ends and you begin." His sister taunted him.

"I am my own person Azula. I don't resemble anyone but myself."

"It wouldn't appear that way. I think you look more like that child than the Prince of the Fire Nation."

"I am still Prince Zuko!" he yelled at her.

"Oh Zuzu, you may think you are, but you are loosing yourself by embracing all this chakra nonsense."

"It's not nonsense!"

"Please, it's a bunch of spiritual babble created by a race of people who outlived their purposefulness a long time ago."

"The Air Nomads were a great people. We should have never destroyed them." He replied angrily.

"See you even sound like them... minus the peaceful disposition. But then you always did have a hard time controlling your temper."

"Why are you here Azula? Are you afraid that I'll actually open this chakra?"

She laughed louder at that remark. "You know you really are too funny Zuzu. I don't have anything to fear from you. You are a failure. Why should this be any different? You think you have made so much progress, but deep down you can't stomach what you are becoming. You can't even face this reflection in the mirror."

"This isn't me."

"Oh I beg to differ. You see while you have been up here getting in touch with your inner being the world has been moving forward. You are a joke Zuko. Everyone knows it. Your only chance at returning home was with me and you let that go in favor of chasing your destiny.

"Well I can tell you all about your destiny. It was to rule the Fire Nation and crush the other countries of this world. But you were too weak for that. You had to come here and find yourself. There is no other destiny as great as the one you gave up and now you will face the consequences of your actions."

"What consequences?" he asked.

"The world will forget you Zuko. You will not be remembered for greatness as a ruler of the Fire Nation, but as a pathetic friend of the Avatar. When he is defeated you will be forgotten."

"He will not be defeated." He said with more confidence than he felt.

This brought laughter to her again. "Even if he won you would be forgotten." She paused and then smiling said, "Do you really want to serve a child. Can you really stand the idea of humbling yourself to him? You are the son of the Fire Lord. You are royalty. He should bow down to you, not you to him."

"He is the Avatar Azula. He is more powerful than you can imagine."

"Not powerful enough. Or did you forget how I killed him once before."

"You never would have gotten that chance if I hadn't interfered. They had you beaten...twice if I remember correctly."

He watched her reflection turn to a scowl. "Well aren't we a little full of ourself brother." She replied heatedly. "Hard to believe that you're willing to let such skill and talent go unrecognized. Hiding behind the Avatar has got to be humiliating."

"I am not hiding behind him. I am fighting with him. This war is wrong; it always was. I cannot sit by and let it continue."

"_You_ cannot let it continue...do you realize how arrogant you sound? Honestly Zuko I find it hard to believe that you can let that go to follow this boy."

"I will do what I have to do."

With that said she grew quiet. After a moment her expression changed and a wicked smile came across her lips. He knew that smile. She was changing her attack. Her previous taunts weren't working so she would find another weakness to exploit. Moving in closer she whispered in his ear, "I really like this apartment. What kind of decorating style did you and Uncle use to furnish it – poor refugee?"

She continued to smile but backed up again. "Honestly Zuko, did you really enjoy working at that hole in the wall tea shop in the lower ring? I mean I could see Uncle happily brewing away, but you a common tea server? That had to be killing you; after all you are the one used to be served. How humiliating for you to have to put up with the demands of simple peasants. Working for some pathetic man not even fit to serve in the royal palace back home."

"That life is behind me now." He replied.

"Is it really? Will it ever be? The Avatar is a nomad. He has no true home. Following him will be no different for you than life on the run with Uncle." Grinning even more she said, "I know that you have a soft spot for the old man, but it had to be difficult trying to live by his ideals. He was probably very happy embracing his poverty and low social status. He probably saw it as some life experience; a way of relating to the common man; but not you Zuko. I can't imagine you being happy living that lifestyle."

She was right, he realized, he had hated it. Thinking back to the early days on the run he remembered Uncle trying to console him, _I know we've had some difficult times lately. We've had to struggle just to get by. But it's nothing to be ashamed of. There is a simple honor in poverty. _He couldn't see the honor in poverty. Even now, after all he had been through, he couldn't see it. Finally able to break free of the grip that held him frozen in place, he closed his eyes and bowed his head.

Behind him he could hear her laughter. "Ah, I knew you had more substance to you than all this peace loving babble. Face it Zuko, you enjoy your position as royalty. You were born better than most people. Living a life of poverty and constant humiliation is not for you."

Suddenly an image of himself and Uncle Iroh begging in the streets of some Earth Kingdom village played out in his mind. He remembered the resentment he felt well. _This is humiliating! We're royalty. These people should be giving us whatever we want. _It was humiliating and he despised it. But that had been months ago. He had changed. Or had he? Had he really changed that much. Could he truly swallow his pride and follow the Avatar. Could he leave his royal status behind? After all there was no guarantee that he would be successful. No guarantee that he would ever return home with honor.

Looking up he gazed again at his reflection in the mirror. Who was he really? Who did he want to be? Reaching out he touched the image. Behind him Azula taunted him more, "Admit Zuko, you are better than this. You shouldn't forget that. Never forget who you truly are."

At her words he stiffened. _Never forget who you are_. Those were his mother's parting words. Though he knew she meant differently, he still couldn't dismiss what Azula was saying. His fever was wearing him out and he couldn't fight her anymore. She was right, he was better than this. Her words made sense to his clouded mind. Letting out a tortured yell he drew back his arm, and making a fist, slammed it into the mirror. The image shattered.

Behind him he could hear Azula whisper, "You made the right choice brother."

With that said she disappeared. Around him the world started to sway. Inside of himself he could feel the fever scorching him. He was so tired. He couldn't fight Azula and he couldn't let go of his pride. The situation was hopeless.

As he felt himself slipping into unconsciousness he could hear his uncle's voice calling to him, _No, Zuko! You must never give in to despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. __I__n the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength._

Sorry Uncle, he thought, I have no strength left. And with that the darkness overtook him.

* * *

**A.N.** Ok that was harder than I ever imagined. 5,500+ words and I still have tons to go. I rewrote this at least three times, but I couldn't get the right feel for it. 

Thanks to all those who took a stab at what he had to let go of. In the end it helped me get over my block by incorporating those ideas into the chapter.In the end I believe that Zuko's pride caused his fall in the series (more so after his confrontation with Uncle in the trailer - bad Zuko!). So who better to tempt him than Azula.

I hate to leave on such a downer, but things will improve. I hope you enjoyed reading this and I will try to post soon. It seems that weekends are the only time I have to write. So much for my deadline!

Please let me know how you liked it and once again thanks to all who reviewed.


	25. Chapter 24 The Crown Chakra Part II

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**The Crown Chakra (Part II)**

Darkness surrounded him as the heat within him became unbearable. He couldn't do this. He had no hope left. All he could think to do was sleep. _You cannot let the fever consume you or like that silver you will be destroyed. _Katara's voice penetrated his fevered brain. He had to fight it, yet he felt so lost.

I can't do this, his mind yelled out into the darkness. I can't do this alone. _You can do this Zuko. You are not alone. Remember that. No matter what happens, you are not alone in this. _

"Katara!" he screamed. His voice seemed to echo through the darkness. "Please don't leave me."

He could feel the tears stream down his face. He didn't want to die. More so, he didn't want to go back to who he was before. He wanted to change so desperately, but his body was exhausted.

_I will never leave you. I will always be in your heart. But you must continue on without me for now. When this is over I will be waiting for you._

Clinging to her words he fought the darkness that had enveloped him. He had to finish this. She was waiting for him as was his true destiny. He couldn't give into despair. Uncle was right; hope was something he gave himself.

* * *

Pulling himself from his fevered sleep, he awoke to find himself kneeling in front of a grave. Next to him was his uncle. Looking down he realized that this was the grave of his cousin, Lu Ten. 

"In all my life nothing has brought me as great a sorrow as losing my son." His uncle said softly. In a voice choked by tears he continued, "I didn't want to live without him. I struggled to find any joy in life. He was everything to me."

Zuko remembered his cousin. He had always looked up to the older boy; had loved him like a brother. His death shook Zuko to the core. From that moment on his own life had seemed to spiral out of control. Lu Ten's death was the defining moment that separated the joy of his childhood from the anguish of his adolescence. Everything in his life changed and he began to turn in on himself; burying his emotions so that he didn't have to feel the pain of his mother's disappearance and his father's rejection.

His uncle continued, "For a while I lived without hope. I embraced the sorrow in my heart and let it consume me. It was a dangerous way to live and a selfish one as well."

"How can being sad be selfish?" Zuko asked.

"It was not the sadness but the despair that I gave into that led me into darkness. My grief was all that mattered anymore. I was so focused on my loss and my needs that I let the world and the needs of those closest to me fall to the wayside." He grew quiet and bowed his head. "I should have been there for you Zuko. I was so consumed with my own grief that I failed to see that you were mourning the loss of your mother. I should have been there to console you, but instead I hid myself away from the pain of living."

"It wasn't your responsibility to guide me through those painful times. My father should have been there for me." He replied bitterly.

"But he wasn't Zuko. I knew how my brother was and I should have come home, but I couldn't."

"But eventually you did."

"Yes, after much soul searching and an encounter with the spiritual realm I finally realized that I was needed back home. But by then the damage had been done. The innocent little boy I had left behind when I started the campaign in Ba Sing Se was gone. You had changed Zuko."

"I grew up Uncle." He stated simply.

"You had hardened your heart and closed yourself of from the joys of this world. That is not a natural part of growing up." Looking up he turned and faced him. Placing his hand on Zuko's shoulder he said, "You used to be able to see the world as it should be. You were unsullied by the madness that had gripped our family. You cared about people Zuko. But Ozai crushed your spirit and drove that compassion deep inside of you. He tried to make you into someone you weren't, and he almost succeeded."

Zuko thought about this chakra and how he couldn't open it. His pride stood in his way and he couldn't let it go. Yet here was his uncle still believing him to be a better person than he was. Uncle saw him with the eyes of an idealist. In reality he was no better than Azula or Ozai.

"He may as well have." He replied bitterly. "I cannot open this chakra."

"You cannot give in to your feelings of self doubt."

"I can't fight this fever Uncle! I can't find the strength to continue. All I want to do is sleep. I'm so tired of fighting for everything that I want."

"Zuko that is what life is about. The things we desire most are never easy to come by. We must work for them. Your destiny is in your reach, but you need to fight for it."

"How can I fight for it when I don't know what it is?"

"It will become apparent to you when you open the chakra."

"But I can't do it Uncle. I can't be something that I'm not. I can't be like you. I don't find joy in simplicity. I am tired of being poor. I don't want to be a refugee. I want my honor restored. I want people to see me as a success, not a constant failure."

"True success cannot be measured by others. It is something realized within your own heart. If you continue to look to the world for approval you will never succeed. You will always come up lacking. True humility is the only way to find peace. By emptying yourself you will be able free yourself from the burdens of this life."

"I don't know how to let it go."

"You must search deep within you. You must return to that innocence that you had before you began to let the world cloud your judgment."

"You make it sound easy."

"Oh it will not be easy, but when you embrace it you will be free."

Zuko stared at his uncle. In his heart he understood what he was saying, but he just didn't feel he had the strength to do it. Closing his eyes he bowed his head in shame.

"Zuko look at me." His uncle commanded. He looked up into his steely gaze. "Do you still have that knife I sent you after I broke through the walls of Ba Sing Se?" He nodded his head. "What did it say on the inscription?"

"Never give up without a fight." He whispered.

"I sent that to you for a reason. You have always been a fighter Zuko. You were from the moment you were born. You had to struggle just to survive your birth and you have struggled to survive your whole life. That is your greatest strength. You never give up. Don't forget that. You are stronger than you think."

* * *

Zuko felt himself drifting away from his uncle. Once again he found himself at the Spirit Oasis at the North Pole. His breathing had become labored as he fought hard to hold onto consciousness. Looking around he wondered why he was here. Slowly he crawled over to the small pond within the patch of grass. Gazing into the water he watched the koi fish swimming. He remembered how Zhao had tried to kill the one fish. His uncle had told him that the fish had actually been the Moon Spirit. He remembered the story of the young girl who had given her life back to the spirit so that it could live. Her selfless act had not only given back life to the Moon Spirit, but it had saved her people as well; possibly the whole world if Uncle was correct. He had been awed by the story and wondered why such giving seemed impossible for him. 

When had he become so closed off and rigid? Was he truly so selfish that he would put his needs above all others? Of course the answer to that became very clear as he thought back to his efforts to capture the Avatar.

_You're a terrible person, you know that? Always following us, hunting the Avatar, trying to capture the world's last hope for peace!_

He had been willing to hand the boy over to his father in exchange for his honor. He had put his desires over the needs of the entire world. He had become selfish. Like Uncle had pointed out earlier, he had not always been that way. But then he had put the needs of those soldiers above his own and been severely punished for it. Selflessness had brought him nothing but pain.

Still Iroh had told him to search deep within himself to find what he was looking for. Though Azula had thrown the many months he had spent on the run in his face, he knew that his experiences had changed him. He may not have embraced his station in life or the poverty they lived in, but he had begun to see something more in the people he encountered day to day.

His mind went back to the boy Lee that he met while traveling alone. The child had touched him in a way he couldn't explain. He thought back to that night when Lee had taken his broad swords. If that had happened before he became a refugee he would have punished the boy for the theft. But instead he found himself following the child, eager to see what he would do. As he had watched him try to use the swords he was overwhelmed with a sense of protectiveness, and a desire to help. Teaching Lee the proper use of his weapons had given him a feeling that he had not felt in years. It brought him great pleasure to share his knowledge with the child and yet not expect anything in return. And yet in the end he found that the child's simple smile brought him joy enough.

It had been that way with Jen too. He had been so apprehensive about their date that night, and the awkwardness that followed was excruciating. But her eagerness to share something special to her made him feel good inside. He found her carefree nature infectious, so much so that when they discovered the fountains were not lit he wanted nothing more than to ease her disappointment. Lighting the candles surrounding the fountain was probably one of the most foolish things he had ever done. If he had been caught he could have faced execution, but his need to see her smile again outweighed the risks. Without thought of his own safety he had gone ahead and lit the lamps, and the joy he saw reflected in her eyes made him feel a sense of pride quite different from the arrogance he held as a royal.

Those days in Ba Sing Se had seen many changes in him, but nothing as unexpected as his freeing of the Avatar's bison. His uncle's lecture and then plea for him to look inside himself and find what it was he wanted had affected him more than he expected. Of course freeing the animal had not only gone against his very nature but it had started him down this spiritual journey. The experience had changed him, or so he thought. Coming face to face with Azula in the caverns beneath Ba Sing Se had undermined any confidence he felt in himself. She had played right into his sense of pride, his need to restore his honor, and his desire to return home a hero. And he had followed her blindly.

Why was it that he couldn't fight her? She always knew what to say to make him doubt himself. Even now she had swayed him from his course. She had kindled in him a feeling of hopelessness and despair, and he had let it spread like wildfire.

He thought back to what Uncle had said earlier about innocence and emptying himself of life's burdens. He realized that Azula had in effect lied to him again. She had equated humility to humiliation. She knew how much he hated to fail and she knew that he would rise to her bait if she played that up. But now he was suddenly able to see through that. Yes his experiences as a refugee had been humiliating. Being treated so poorly by those around him had brought about an anger and frustration that he had never experienced before. People looked at his station in life and not at him. He had become just another beggar; just one more refugee like thousands of others. But he was more than that; he had dreams and desires that drove him forward, only they were lost in his outward appearance.

He could see now that he had spent much of his life sharing those views. He had seen people not as individuals but as labels. Katara had been a peasant for a long time in his mind. He refused to see her as she was; a sister, a daughter; a bender, a healer, and a strong person. Aang had always been the Avatar. He never given much thought to the boy's life in the air temples or the people he would have loved and cared for. Not only had he become self centered as he moved into adolescence, but he had become prejudiced as well.

He remembered Uncle's explanation of the four elements and their peoples. All were unique, yet they relied on each other for balance and harmony. By cutting himself off from that he had become rigid. He had lost the ability to see people as anything more than numbers to be conquered. But his time on the run had changed that. Only Azula couldn't see that. She had appealed to his lack of understanding and had almost succeeded in destroying all that he had worked for.

He thought back to Roku's warning to Sozen all those years ago. _Your pride will be your downfall as it will be for all generations to come. Complete humility will be your only savior. _The Avatar had been talking about a false sense of pride. It was more an arrogance that blinded men from seeing the world and others as they truly were. Pride in itself, he realized, was not a bad thing. He could feel satisfaction in a job well done, and still be humble. Humility did not mean he had to lose himself. Instead it enabled him to see the strengths and weaknesses in all those around him. He could appreciate what made each person unique and in that appreciation he would find the patience that Katara had talked about. He understood that even though he was born into royalty he was no better than anyone else.

He felt as if blinders had been removed from his eyes. Suddenly he understood what Uncle had meant by returning to the innocence of his youth. As a child he had seen people as they were, and even though he was taught to view them by their station, whether they be servant or nobleman, he could still appreciate them as individuals. It was that ability that had separated him from Azula as a child. Once she realized her abilities, she had started to treat people differently. Maybe it was his struggles with bending that made him appreciate those around him. Maybe that was what enabled him to feel compassion. But as he grew that compassion had been seen as weakness and his innocence was snuffed out the moment he discovered his mother was gone. He had hardened his heart and by doing so he had disconnected himself from his fellow man.

He thought back to his reflection in the mirror from earlier. It had frightened him; the thought of losing who he was. But he had misunderstood, as had Azula. Looking through eyes blinded by arrogance he could only see what he had to lose. But now he saw it differently. Aang was still a child, both physically and emotionally. And though the responsibilities of his position as avatar was slowly taking its toll on him, he still possessed a certain joy and innocence that enabled him to value all those around him. It was that same joy and innocence that Zuko had abandoned all those years ago. The image was more a reminder of what he could be, not of what he had to lose.

As he let go of his fears and his prejudices he could start to see what Iroh had also meant by emptying himself. By letting go of these things he could empty himself of his worldly attachments. He could be humble and not have to lose himself in the process. He could also let go of his arrogance and still feel pride.

As he knelt by the koi pond he felt the fever start to completely consume him, but he knew that it was necessary. All these impurities within his soul had kept him from opening the chakra, and now that he could identify them he could let them go. He could finally be free of what attached him to this world. Suddenly he felt a coolness envelope him and he realized that the fever had left him. Like the silver that Katara had mentioned earlier, he had been purified.

The scene around him fell away and he found himself back where he had begun this journey earlier today. But as he looked out into the nighttime sky he was awed by what he saw. It was as if the stars in the heavens had come down to touch the earth. Never had he witnessed anything like it. He wondered if he reached up would he actually be able to touch them.

As he stood there he felt a rush much stronger than any he had ever experienced opening the previous chakras. He had done it. He had opened them all. As he continued to gaze out at the stars he realized that the people of the world were one and that he was one with them. The sense of being on the outside looking in left him, and for the first time in a long time he felt that he belonged. His destiny became clear to him and he knew what he had to do.

Basking in the glow of his success he noticed an animal approaching him. As it drew nearer he saw that it was a dragon, a blue dragon. But somehow this dragon was different from the one earlier. Instinctively he knew that the coloring on this animal was due to its residence within the Spirit World. Just as he realized that, he understood that this was Avatar Roku's dragon, his animal guide.

The dragon stopped in front of him and Zuko wondered what it wanted from him. Reaching out with one of its whiskers it touched him on the forehead. Zuko felt himself being propelled forward in time. Different scenes flashed before him in what seemed like seconds.

_He saw himself training with Aang and Katara, preparing for the battle with the Fire Lord. He felt a new confidence in his abilities as a bender. Having opened the chakras had indeed helped him to gain more control over his bending._

_Next he found himself within Ozai's throne room. His body felt battered and broken. He sat against a wall as his father approached him. His mind registered that this was the end. His father was going to kill him. At that moment Aang interceded and Zuko watched as Ozai met his own end instead. _

_Suddenly he was standing beside his father's funeral pyre. As the fire was ignited the crown that he wore was placed upon his uncle's head. Iroh had finally ascended to the throne that had been his birthright all along._

_Again he raced forward. He found himself in command of a large army as they prepared to start their campaign to take back Ba Sing Se from Azula. Beside him was Katara, her brother, the earth bender Toph, and the Avatar. As the battle ensued he saw the city fall, as well as his sister. The war was officially over. The nations were free._

_He then saw himself with his new friends returning to the South Pole. He watched as Katara was reunited with her family. His joy at her reunion was only dampened by the knowledge that he would be parting ways with her for a while. His life was tied to the Avatar for now and there was still much to be accomplished to bring about peace._

_Time elapsed and once again he found himself back in the South Pole. Only this time he had returned with one goal in mind. Grasped in his hand was the necklace he had crafted for Katara. Made from amber, it bore the image of the water tribe on the front and an image of Agni on the back. The dragon could be seen almost as if in union with the moon and water on the front. He presented it to her and she tearfully accepted. _

_Moving forward again he saw himself on his wedding day. As he caught a glimpse of Katara he felt his heart leap in his chest. He loved her so much and the thought that she desired to make a life with him made him happier than he could ever had imagined._

_Finally he found himself with Katara. She was exhausted from the day, but as she looked into his eyes she had a sparkle that he had never seen before. Her joy was written all over her face. Softly she said, "Zuko, I present to you your son." Looking into the face of his child he understood her joy. His life felt so complete and he suddenly realized that he had accomplished much more than opening the chakras. He had guaranteed a world at peace for his son to grow up in. _

Suddenly he felt himself being pulled back into his body. As Roku's dragon disappeared he felt all the things that he had seen start to fade as well. Desperately he tried to cling to them, but it was no use. They were gone and all that remained was a feeling akin to hope within his heart. He had something to strive for even if he couldn't remember it.

Opening his eyes he looked into the smiling gaze of the guru. "Welcome back Prince Zuko. You were gone for quite some time."

He let out an exhausted sigh and then smiled. "I did it. I opened the chakra."

"It would appear so." The old man said kindly.

Zuko stared at Guru Pathik for a moment and then said, "I also know what I have to do. I understand my destiny. I know why I had to open these chakras in order to face it."

The guru continued to smile and said, "You have worked hard to accomplish this task. Facing your destiny should be a little easier now."

"I hope so!" he laughed. And then more somberly he said, "I guess this is where we part ways."

"It would seem that way." The old man said.

Zuko suddenly felt a deep sense of loss. "Will we ever see each other again?"

The guru's gaze became distant. "Just as you are discovering your destiny, I am fulfilling mine." Looking back at Zuko he continued, "I am an old man and have lived a life full of many joys and sorrows. I waited a hundred years for Aang to return and subsequently for you to arrive. My time here is finished."

Zuko felt a sorrow deep in his soul. He wasn't prepared for this. He had grown attached to this man and his ways. "So this is goodbye?"

"For now." The old man simply replied. "But we will meet again someday."

Zuko rose and bowed to the guru. "Thank you. I cannot begin to express my gratitude."

"Sometimes the simplest responses say it all."

"I guess I should go find Aang." He said.

"That would be best."

Zuko started to walk away. Stopping he turned back and said, "I'm going to miss this time together."

The guru returned his smile and replied, "As will I."

With that Zuko continued on ready to face his destiny.

* * *

**A.N. **I spent most of yesterday trying to finish this chapter. By the time I completed it it was late and my brain was fried. I waited to post it so that I could reread it after a night's rest. Once again how I envisioned it was different than how it played out - slightly. I hope it doesn't seem rushed. I really wanted to do it right. 

Of course it may seem odd to have what seems like an epilogue when I still have five or so chapters to go. I wanted Zuko to have hope and I liked the idea of peeking into his future.

_Thanks to soupcan who reminded me to not lose Zuko in the process. I hope I made the distiction betwen pride and arrogance make sense._

_And in response to taffy 0823, the fluff is to come! _

I hope you enjoyed it. I never meant to leave anyone hanging. Thanks to all who reviewed. I hope this chapter does the other justice.


	26. Chapter 25 Truth and Confidence

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**Truth and Confidence**

Katara tried to busy herself around camp, but it was of no use. Her anxiety from the previous day had not gone away. As the sun reached the midpoint of the sky and Zuko was still gone she felt genuine panic set in. Where could he be she wondered and why hadn't he returned yet. None of his chakras had taken this long to open before, and she feared that something had gone terribly wrong.

Iroh had tried to reassure her last night that Zuko was in very capable hands with Guru Pathik, and that the old man would let nothing happen to him. Still she noticed that this morning even the retired general seemed a little unnerved. In fact the three of them ate breakfast in an awkward silence. None of them seemed rested from the previous night's sleep, and all of them seemed a little preoccupied.

None the less Iroh and Aang had gone off to train claiming that hard work would help them clear there minds. That left Katara alone to worry more about the prince. She tried to busy herself with chores, but there wasn't really much to do. Nothing seemed to distract her from the fears building inside of her.

Zuko had left early yesterday morning before she had woken up. She had wished that she could have seen him before he had left. There was so much that she wanted to say to him, but was unable to the previous night when he had returned from his talk with Aang. She was amazed at how the two seemed to mend their fences so quickly, but more so was relieved that she had made the right choice in trusting Zuko to go after her friend.

When the two had returned to camp she took one look at Aang and realized that she couldn't stay angry at him because of his earlier outburst. She had simply opened her arms and welcomed her friend back to camp. Aang embraced her and apologized for what he had said, but she had already forgiven him. As she hugged him in return she lifted her eyes to Zuko and smiled. Silently she mouthed the words 'thank you' to him. He gave her a shy smile and a simple nod and then went to sit with his uncle.

That was the extent of their conversation that evening, and after the afternoon that they had shared she was still feeling confused by her emotions. She was stunned by her sudden attraction to him. The fact that they had both let down their guards and become friends was comforting, but this mounting desire to be more than friends was a little unsettling. As her enemy she had never looked at him in quite that way, but now that they had resolved their differences she was noticing more and more just how attracted she was to him. And she found that this attraction went deeper than how he looked; it was the man he was becoming that held her spellbound. She never would have guessed that Zuko was such a complex person; he had always seemed so single-minded in his need to capture Aang. But the more he struggled to open these chakras the more insight she gained.

She could see him now as so much more than she had ever imagined, and in a way that terrified her. She knew she was losing her heart to him. She couldn't deny how much she cared for him, but she had also cared for Aang, and in the end Aang had had to turn away from his feelings for her in order to open the last chakra. What if Zuko had to do the same thing? What if in the end she lost him? Opening her heart to him had not been easy, but now the thought that she would lose him both scared her and infuriated her.

It didn't seem fair. Zuko had grown so much, and now, after all that they had been through she may have to lose him because of some cosmic payback. How was that finding balance? How was that bringing about a deeper understanding of self? If you weren't free to love then what good was being free? In a way she wished they had never come here. She found herself resenting this place, and more so Guru Pathik for taking away from her the people she loved. Hadn't she lost enough already? Weren't her mother's death and her separation from her family a high enough price to pay? Why did the universe demand more? Her frustration gave way to tears. She couldn't take this anymore. She couldn't lose one more person that she loved.

Suddenly from behind her she heard the sound of someone approaching camp. Her heart began to beat fast as she turned to face who ever was approaching. As she looked up she saw to her relief that it was Zuko. He looked exhausted, but there was something else; a confidence that she had never seen before.

He smiled at her and simply called her name. That was all it took. All her questions, all her fears were pushed aside as she found herself running to him. He barely had time to open his arms and catch her as she barreled into him. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and buried her face into his chest. He held her loosely at first, but then she felt his grip grow strong as well.

She stood there caught in his embrace, crying in earnest. He in return stood silent until at last she found her voice. "I was so worried about you. Why were you gone so long?"

"Katara, the sun is barely midway in the sky. It hasn't been that long."

Pulling back slightly, she looked into his eyes and said, "You left yesterday morning Zuko."

His eyes widened slightly at her information. "I've been gone for almost two days?"

She nodded her head and then said, "Your uncle tried to reassure me that you were ok; after all you didn't return from opening the Fire Chakra until late into the evening. But after last night, after the dream I had, I found even that explanation lost its strength."

"What dream?" he asked.

She hesitated for a moment. The dream had been so odd and in a way very personal. Telling him about it in too much detail would be too much like admitting her new feelings for him. Choosing her words carefully she said, "I dreamed that we were back at the Spirit Oasis in the North Pole. You were sick Zuko. You had a fever almost as bad as after I first healed you, but this fever was different. It was like it was purifying you; somehow preparing you to face whatever it was you had to do."

She felt him stiffen slightly at her explanation. His face took on an odd expression, and he took in a deep breath. Bringing her hand to his heart she asked, "Zuko, what is it? What's wrong?"

He reached up and grasped her hand and said, "You were there..."

He grew silent again. "Zuko," she said feeling a slight panic set in, "What are you talking about?"

He shook his head as to clear his thoughts and then said, "When I opened the last chakra I suffered through an intense fever. As the fever progressed I had many visions, or so I thought they were visions... now I'm not so sure."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

His eyes took on a distant look as he explained, "In these visions I saw many different people; Aang, my uncle, Azula, and... you. Katara you were there."

"But how could that be? I was asleep?"

"You may have been asleep, but somehow you were able to enter into my visions." He moved his hand from her own, and brought it up to cup the side of her face. Staring at her intently he said, "Katara, the words you spoke to me and the encouragement you gave me kept me from succumbing to the despair that overwhelmed me as I progressed through the chakra. I don't think I would have opened it without you."

At his words she felt a numbness start to creep throughout her body. Dreaming that he had been in trouble was one thing, but to actually have been there with him was another thing altogether. In a small voice she said, "In my dream I told you to stay awake... to fight the urge to sleep... but you were afraid. Zuko you were so scared."

"I didn't want you to leave me. Do you remember that?"

She nodded her head, and then letting go of her previous fears said, "I told you that I would never leave you. That I would be here waiting for you when you were done."

He looked at her and smiled weakly, "After I opened the chakra I wondered if it was all in my head. That maybe I was just imagining what I wanted to hear..."

She returned his smile and said honestly, "Zuko whether or not it was a dream or a vision, I meant every word that I said."

At that his smile faded and his eyes took on a look that she had never seen before. Bringing his face closer to hers he whispered, "So many things have changed since we got here; how I see the world... how I see you... how I _feel_ about you..."

Following some unknown impulse, she leaned forward. Not waiting for him to finish she brought her lips to his. The kiss was gentle and brief, and as she pulled back she could feel the embarrassment at her boldness bring a flush to her cheeks. Looking down she said, "I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. Normally I'm not so..."

Moving his hand to under her chin he lifted her face level to his and then returned the kiss. The gentleness of the first kiss was replaced by a passion that left her breathless. As he released her she looked into his eyes, stilled a little dazed, and finished what she had started, "bold."

He smiled and then pulled her in closer in an embrace. With her head lying against his chest, he stroked her back absently. She could hear his heat beat, still racing from their earlier contact. Closing her eyes she listened to the rhythm finding it oddly soothing.

After a few moments he spoke. "I didn't know quite what to expect when I came back to camp. When I left to go with the guru I was so torn up inside, and after opening the chakras I felt more at ease." He paused a moment before continuing. "I'm just glad they're over. I have never wanted to finish something as much as I wanted to open those chakras."

She raised her head, pushed back slightly, and stared at him. "You mean you opened all the chakras? You finished the last one?"

His smile grew wide and he said, "Once I opened the light chakra I found that I didn't want to wait to move on."

She felt herself grow cold at his revelation. Her fears from earlier flooded her with doubts. Involuntarily she shuddered. Moving his hands from her back to her arms he began to rub vigorously in an effort to warm her up. "Are you ok? You're shaking." He asked.

"It's just that I thought I had more time." She said without thought.

"More time?"

Feeling awkward she broke his gaze. Looking down she said, "It's just that I thought you were only going to open the sixth chakra. I thought that we still had time to... well to get closer... I mean we've just gotten to be friends and I didn't want to have to... to say... goodbye."

"Katara look at me." He said with a slight edge of authority to his voice.

Looking up she felt completely foolish. She was so tongue tied over how to explain her feelings. "I must sound like an idiot." She said in a whisper.

Smiling slightly he said, "You don't sound like an idiot."

Needing to explain herself she said, "It's just that when Aang opened the last chakra he had to give up his..." she paused and then continued, "He gave up his affections for me. And even though we weren't involved that way, it still hurt to have to let him go. I didn't want to have to do that again."

"Neither did I." he replied softly.

"What?"

"When I went to open the Crown Chakra I thought that I would just move through it quickly, but as I tried to clear my thoughts I found that I was blocked. I couldn't even begin to open it."

"But why?" she asked.

"The previous night, when I talked to Aang, he told me about the last chakra and what he had to do to open it. The more I thought about it the more I began to fear that maybe the same would be asked of me." It was his turn to look away, and she stood shocked by what he had confided to her. Looking back at her he said, "I couldn't begin to open it because I wasn't prepared to let go of my relationship with you."

Smiling she replied, "You were afraid of losing me?"

He blushed slightly and whispered, "It's just that everyone that I've ever cared about has been taken from me..."

He grew silent and she knew that confiding in her like this was so hard for him. Leaning up she gave him a quick kiss and said, "I promise not to leave you if you promise not to leave me."

She caught a glimpse of his smile before he embraced her once again. They stayed like that for some time before he said, "So much has changed since I started to open these chakras."

"You've changed." She said softly.

She could feel a rumble in his chest as he chuckled slightly. Pulling back he smiled and said, "So have you."

She gave him a look, but she knew that he was right. Every time he opened a chakra she had found herself benefiting from what he had experienced. She had been forced to look beyond her fears and misgivings about him, and though it had been hard at times she had grown. She had in fact changed.

Suddenly feeling a little awkward at the direction of their conversation she said teasingly, "So Mr. Enlightened, do you now know what it is that you have to do?"

"As a matter of fact I do." He stated.

After a moment of silence she said, "Well?"

He grinned and said, "I need to find Aang. After all this time I was right. He is the key to fulfilling my destiny, but not in the way I had always imagined."

"Care to elaborate?"

He grew a little more serious and replied, "It was in opening the last chakra that I realized what I had to do. All this time I was worried that I would have to give up a thing or a person, but in reality it was more than that. My pride was holding me back. For so long I saw myself as better than everyone else. I felt that I somehow deserved more. But I was wrong. All my arrogance was doing was holding me back. By letting it go I was able to see my true path."

"But what is your true path?' she prompted.

"Humility; you said it yourself Katara. During my vision you said that humility was the key and you were right. My role in this war is not as the person in charge. This is about Aang and his destiny. By following him and helping in the battle against my father, I will be doing my part to see him fulfill his mission. For too long there has been a rift between the Fire Nation and The Avatar, and I intend to change that today."

She looked at him with amazement. She would have never believed such change possible in one person. To hear him talk like this was almost surreal. But the passion in his voice made her know that it was the truth. Now all that was left was to find Aang and begin the next part of this journey.

Taking his hand in hers, she squeezed it tightly and said, "Then let's go."

* * *

**A.N. **Sorry for the delay. This chapter was harder to write than I thought it would be. The start of the new season set me back, my approaching labor is weighing on me, and now I've got a cold (I know I'm whining - my apologies). My brain is fried but I really didn't want to compromise this chapter and I didn't want to rush it.

I was afraid that it would go from fluff to mush, but quite frankly if lines like _You look beautiful when you hate the world_ are written in the series, I don't feel so bad. And yes this Maiko thing is driving me nuts. Of course not as much as Zuko's behavior.

Enough ranting. I hope to start on the next chapter soon. It is the climax of the story and I really want it to flow just as I have envisioned it for months now. I am a little anxious about it, but hopefully it will compliment the story, not ruin it.

Thank you again to all who have reviewed. I appreciate all your imput. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.


	27. Chapter 26 Repairing the Past

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**Repairing the Past **

Katara led Zuko to an open courtyard where his uncle and the Avatar were training. He stood in awe watching Iroh and the boy sparring. It had been only a few weeks since they had arrived at the air temple, and even less time since Aang started fire bending, yet the young monk was using moves that had taken himself years to learn. The realization of this hit him hard, but he was surprised to find that instead of jealousy he felt admiration for the boy. Though many people tended to underestimate his uncle, Zuko knew that the old man was one of the best fire benders out there. He also knew from watching the two now, that Iroh was not holding anything back. Yet Aang held his own ground, and using a combination of all the elements, was actually gaining on his master.

It was the boy's use of the four elements that amazed Zuko the most. In all his time spent chasing the Avatar, he had never fully realized just how powerful the boy could be. Though he had learned a valuable lesson in the South Pole about underestimating the child, he still had not gained an appreciation of his abilities. Now watching him in action he understood just what made the Avatar such a threat to his father, and why he brought so much hope to the rest of the world. For the first time he started to feel confidence that this young boy could actually bring down the Fire Lord and end the war that started so long ago.

The two continued until finally Iroh caught sight of him and Katara. Easing back into a neutral position, his uncle smiled at them and said, "That's enough for now Aang, we have visitors."

Aang turned around at Iroh's words. His face was red from the exertion of his workout, but he still managed a smile. Taking a moment to catch his breath he looked to Zuko and said simply, "You're back."

He nodded in response. From behind the boy he heard his uncle say in a concerned voice, "You look exhausted Zuko. Do you really think you should be out here? Maybe you should go back to camp and rest."

"No Uncle, "he responded. With his eyes still on the Avatar he continued, "I have something that I need to do first."

With that he stepped forward until he was within a few feet of Aang. The boy's smile disappeared, and a look of apprehension spread across his face. Zuko wasn't sure what the boy expected him to do, but he knew he needed to act now before he lost his nerve. Three years of searching for the Avatar had come down to this moment. He cleared his mind of all thoughts except the task at hand.

Humility, he reminded himself, humility was the key. He had spent his life being so proud and so arrogant, but now he was surprised to find how easily he could let it go. Embracing his destiny he lowered himself to his knees, bowing before the boy. In a soft voice he said, "Avatar Aang, I wish to follow you. My life, my skills, all that I have is yours."

As soon as he spoke the words a silence fell over the small group. Suddenly the air around him started to stir and he could feel a slight electrical charge pick up in the breeze. It was then that the Avatar spoke and in his voice Zuko could hear the voices of all the Avatars before him united as one.

"Rise Prince Zuko."

Slowly he lifted his head and sat back on his knees. His eyes grew wide at the sight that greeted him. Aang's eyes and tattoos had taken on the familiar glow that indicated that he had entered into the Avatar State. Cautiously he rose to his feet. He had witnessed the boy go into the Avatar state on several occasions, and he knew enough to be afraid of what was to come.

As he started to back away he noticed that flames had started to lap at Aang's feet, and then slowly swirl around him gaining momentum until they began to form what looked like a cyclone. Instantly the monk was swallowed up by the column of fire as it shot skyward, and then as quickly as it had begun the fire fell back to the earth and dissipated. Aang had disappeared and standing in his place was Avatar Roku.

Zuko felt a fear grip him so tightly it froze him in place. Staring at the Avatar he waited for whatever was to come. Roku returned his gaze, but when he finally spoke his voice held no anger.

"It has been well over a hundred years since I last spoke to Fire Lord Sozen. I warned him of the price that he would pay if he began this war, but he refused to listen. Because of his arrogance an entire race of people have been destroyed and the world has lived in chaos ever since. But as you well know Prince Zuko, his decision placed a heavy burden on the people of the Fire Nation and on the royal family as well.

"The comet brought with it great power, but it also created a madness that has gripped the leaders of your nation as well as their ruler for the century that followed. Sozen himself succumbed to its effects. His need to maintain control and dominate the other nations led him to many despicable acts, but it also robbed him of his sanity. He lived the remainder of his life searching for the avatar, and he died a failure to that end.

"His thirst for power didn't end with his death though. His son was more than willing to continue the madness. Azulan was just as driven as Sozen, and just as cruel. Favoring his eldest son, he created a monster in Ozai. Years of harsh lessons and impossible demands made your father the man he is today. . What he did to you at the agni kai, what he planned to do to you years before that at his father's request, were heinous acts. A lesser man would have lost all faith in the world and acted out just as cruelly as those before him. But you, Prince Zuko, have risen above the painful lessons of your past and have embraced your destiny.

"Though you have failed many times along the way, your persistence has aided you in choosing the better path. You have ultimately succeeded where those who went before you have failed miserably. You are the one Zuko, the son of Agni, who will set the royal house in order and bring peace to a troubled world."

Zuko finally found his voice and said, "But I thought it was the job of the Avatar to restore peace to the world."

"Aang's destiny has always been to defeat the Fire Lord and end this war, but it is you who must work for peace. It was not Aang's people who brought this suffering to the world. It is not his responsibility to mend what has been broken all these years. But as the Avatar it is his duty to maintain balance. He will stand by your side and help you along the way, but it will only be through your contrition that the other nations will accept your nation and begin to heal."

He let out a sigh and said almost to himself, "But that task will be enormous."

Roku smiled, and reaching out to grab Zuko's shoulder in an affectionate way said, "It will not be easy, but you have faced many other things in your life that seemed quite impossible and you have met with success. That is your way; you always keep fighting, even when it's hard."

He remembered those exact words spoken years ago by his mother. He knew it was true; he would fight for this cause with all he had in him. Still Roku's words were a little overwhelming, the task ahead seemed daunting. For all his resolve he still wondered if he would be able to do it alone. He felt his old anxieties take hold of him and he said, "I just don't know if I can do it alone."

"You will not be alone. Aang will be there with you. Your destinies are intertwined and you will need to rely on each other to see them through." Squeezing Zuko's shoulder he continued, "You have already helped Aang draw closer to his destiny by humbling yourself to him. You have provided him with the missing piece that he was looking for since Ba Sing Se. You have enabled him to reenter the Avatar State and truly mend the cycle that was broken when your sister shot him down weeks ago."

"But I don't understand. Why would he need me to fix it?"

"For over a century now the bond between the Avatar and the Fire Nation has been broken. The disharmony in this world had a profound effect on the harmony within the spirit world. When Azula struck Aang down while he was in the Avatar State she not only killed him, but any chance of another Avatar being reborn into the cycle. The water from the Spirit Oasis restored him to life, but the damage had already been done. The rift created by Sozen became too immense. In affect your sister completely severed all ties between the spiritual world and your people, and the effects have been disastrous.

"But through your humility today you have reestablished the link. You have created a new bond between the Avatar and the Fire Nation. You have provided Aang with what was missing, and brought harmony to his being thus allowing him to reconnect completely with the spiritual. From now on he will be able to enter the Avatar State at will, something that he will need to do if he is to defeat the Fire Lord."

He felt himself sway slightly at the Avatar's words. How could he be the missing connection that Aang was seeking? He was still just a banished prince. He closed his eyes and tried to take in all that Roku had shared with him.

Suddenly he felt the Avatar's hand steady him and in a voice filled with compassion, Roku said softly, "You have been through so much in your young life, Prince Zuko. You have experienced many sorrows at the hands of those who should have protected you the most. But through that pain you have become a man of honor and integrity. By opening the chakras you have enabled yourself to rise above your past and embrace your future. You have become the man you were destined to be, and by doing that you have enabled Aang to achieve his destiny as well."

He opened his eyes and looked at the Avatar. Roku looked at him with pride in his gaze and said, "You have taken the steps to mend the past and change the future. This journey has healed you in many ways, but now it is time to finish it. It is time to restore balance completely, not just to the world, but within your life."

With that Roku released him and moving his arms in a circular motion created a ball a fire around himself. As Zuko watched the flames changed from red to blue, and then from fire to water. Finally the water evaporated and standing before him was a woman. Her dark skin and blue eyes distinguished her as from the Water Tribe, but he had no idea who she was.

Looking at him she smiled and said," I am Avatar Vailea. As Roku told you earlier you have healed the rift between the avatar and the physical world and by doing so you have enabled the spirits of your nation to once again dwell among their people. Because of this they are very pleased and wish to help you to heal as well."

"But I have already opened the chakras. I have put much of my past pain behind me. What more could there be?" he asked.

Reaching up she cupped the scarred side of his face and said, "You have lived through much pain in your life. Physical pain may fade with time, but the scars that are left behind on our souls can live with us forever. You have confronted your past and accepted the truth of it, but you are still bothered by it. The scars you bear are a reminder to you of the man you once were and for a time seemed destined to become, but these are not necessary anymore. In order to heal your spirit completely you must heal your heart and your body."

With that she removed her hand from his face, and then drew water from the bag at her side. With her bending she formed gloves around her hands. As the water began to glow she moved her hands to his face and placed them just behind his temples. He felt the coolness at once and then closing his eyes he began to feel a calm come over him. He could never remember a feeling of peace like this before, even after opening the chakras.

After a moment he felt her right hand shift to cover the left side of his face. All at once memories from the agni kai came back to him in a flood, but as they washed through him he felt almost detached. The pain and the shame from that day seemed to fade away, and though he could remember it all in vivid detail, it no longer hurt. For the first time in his life he was able to let it go.

As Avatar Vailea removed her hands from his face he opened his eyes and smiled at her. In an astonished voice he said, "I feel so free."

"That's because you are free. Your past will not torture you any longer, and though you will never forget what was done to you, you will be free of its painful hold on your heart."

"Thank you." He whispered.

She bowed to him and then in wrapping herself within a mist she vanished, and in her place stood Aang. His tattoos glowed a moment more and then returned to the familiar blue.

Opening his eyes he looked at Zuko and said in a dazed voice, "I think I just entered the Avatar State."

With that the young monk closed his eyes and passed out. Instinctively Zuko reached out and grabbed him and gently lowered him to the ground. Behind him he heard Katara call Aang's name. He had forgotten that she was there. Quickly she was at his side and he laid the boy in her arms. Tears ran down her face, but he wasn't sure if they were joy or sorrow.

Cradling Aang she rocked slightly and spoke soothing words to him. After a moment she said, "It's been so long since he has experienced that, and never quite like what I saw today... I fear that he may not be strong enough yet..."

"He'll be fine." Zuko stated quietly. "He's more resilient than you give him credit for."

She looked up at him and he smiled in return. Expecting her to smile as well he was surprised when her eyes opened wide and she took in a sharp breath.

"Oh Zuko," she said in a whisper of a voice. "Oh Zuko... your face..."

Confused he brought his hand up to his face where only moments before the Avatar had touched him. As his fingers connected with flesh he felt numbness creep into his entire body. The left side of his face felt just as smooth as the right. Unable to trust what he was feeling he slowly explored every feature. Touching his ear he was amazed to feel smooth cartilage that ran in a curve all the way down to the lobe. Moving his hand up to his eye he felt the brow and then just below that lashes coming from his eye lid. As he moved his hand just a fraction more he felt something that he hadn't felt in years – tears. Removing his hand from his face he stared at the wetness on his fingertips.

How could it be? He hadn't even realized it, but the woman had healed his scar. The magnitude of that shocked him, and rose abruptly to his feet. Looking at his uncle he found that no words could form in his mouth. Iroh for his part embraced him in fierce hug, crying all the while.

When he pulled back from the embrace he found that he was still shaken by what had happened. The events of the past two days caught up with him and he found his head spinning. He had never expected any of this when he set out to find Aang this afternoon. With Roku's words still ringing in his ears, and dampness from his own tears fresh on his fingertips he stared at his uncle.

"I don't understand," he said wearily. "I never expected this... I didn't ask for this." He hand went to his face again. This time though he noticed it was trembling as he lightly touched the unblemished skin. "I need to be alone. I just... I don't know what to do... I need to think..."

He felt his uncle grasp his shoulders tightly and looking at him said, "You did the right thing Zuko. Everything that has happened here today is due to your willingness to change. I know that you have received quite a shock, though truly wonderful, still a shock. Take the time you need. Meditate on what you have learned, and when you are ready we can talk."

He stood silently looking at his uncle and then nodded. As Iroh moved away from him he turned to Katara. She remained on the ground cradling Aang in her arms. Through her tears she finally smiled at him and said, "Your uncle's right. Go ahead without us. We'll be ok."

Once again he felt himself at a loss for words. Reaching down he simply gave her a kiss on her temple, and then straightening he turned away and headed off to be alone.

* * *

**A.N. **That was by far the hardest chapter to write, but even harder to submit. I have dreaded this moment since I first envisioned this chapter some six months ago. I know the scar is a very touchy subject. Some people want it left alone and others want it healed. I tend to believe it defines Zuko as who he is and normally I would not steer a story in this direction, but as I developed this chapter I found that it was the only way I wanted to go with the story. Zuko's journey has been about healing and the scar was the last step in that process. The series teased us last year with the possibility, but I don't really believe that will ever happen and honestly as the show stands now it would make no sense. Still in the case of this fic it made perfect sense to me. I hope that it does not disappoint too many of my readers. I cannot tell you how flattered I am that you enjoy this story so much, and I don't want to detract from that enjoyment in any way. I only ask that when you review that you be honest but not harsh with your feelings. 

With that aside, I apologize for the delay. I have never experienced a block like this before. I know that it was due to three things. 1) I had a baby and those little ones take it out of you. Granted she is a great sleeper and affords me many hours to write, I find sleep at this point to be more a necessary creative outlet then writing. 2) The third season has been so good that I am too preoccupied with the goings in the show to focus on this story. And Zuko being a complete bastard didn't help either. But after _The Avatar and the Fire Lord_ I am feeling more confidence in him and so I feel better writing him. Silly, I know, but that's the way I am. 3) I really don't like people to be mad at me. I procastinated because I was afriad of what peole would say. But the time has come to bite the bullet!

Once again I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The story is coming to a close soon (about three chapters to go). Thanks to all who have reviewed in the past, especially the regulars. I can't begin to tell you how much your imput means to me.


	28. Chapter 27 What the Future Holds

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**What the Future Holds**

He sat still, deep in meditation; a fire burning in front of him. Breathing in and out he focused his thoughts on the events of the afternoon. For the past three years he had never found peace. He awoke each day to a reminder on his face of his disgrace and humiliation at the hands of his father. His thoughts were constantly on finding the Avatar and bringing him home to the Fire Nation. Three long miserable years that had changed him into someone he didn't want to be. And in one afternoon the past had been wiped away. The horrible journey that had been his banishment had finally come to an end. For two weeks he had worked hard to renew himself spiritually and now the last visible reminder of his shame had been healed as well.

He knew he should feel joy, and he probably would after the shock had worn off, but for now he just felt oddly disconnected. For so long his identity had been that of the banished prince. His uncle was always telling him that adolescence was a time of discovery, shaping one into the person they would be as an adult. But he never had a chance to figure things out for himself. His childhood ended with a brutal assault at the hands of his father, and his adolescence was spent trying to become someone that he wasn't. Now all of that had changed, and he wasn't quite sure where that left him.

His scar had always marked him; making him easy to identify. There was no avoiding the stares or the thoughtless questions, and he had found it easier to be alone than to face that discomfort every day. Now that it was gone he looked just like everybody else. At a glance he was just another teenaged boy. And while that was freeing, it was also scary. He had lost his identity. He was no longer Prince Zuko; at least the Prince Zuko that the world had known.

Ahead of him lie a blank canvas; the one that should have been there before the agni kai, and now he was suddenly free to paint it the way he wanted to. Having opened all the chakras he had an idea of where to start. His destiny was finally clear to him, but how he would fulfill it was still uncertain. He had placed his life in the hands of a twelve year old boy, and already that decision had changed his life dramatically. He realized that he would have to trust the Avatar and see where that led him; knowing that he was on the right path made that easier to accept.

Slowly he opened his eyes and gazed out at the mountains in front of him. He was unaware of how long he had been in a meditative state, but he could tell by the position of the sun that it had to be late in the afternoon. Suddenly he sensed a familiar presence behind him, and still staring ahead of him asked, "How long have you been there Uncle?"

The old man coughed and said, "Only a few minutes."

"You should have said something." He replied.

Iroh laughed and said, "I learned some time ago that it was best not to disturb you when you were meditating."

He couldn't help but smile at that and said, "That never stopped you before."

"True, but today was different." Zuko could hear the emotion in his uncle's voice, and he realized that the afternoon's events had been hard on him as well.

Extinguishing the fire in front of him he slowly rose to his feet and turned to face his uncle. He noticed the old man's eyes begin to tear up as he took in his appearance. At a loss he said lightly, "You know it's really going to become awkward if you cry every time you see me."

Wiping his eyes Iroh smiled slightly and said, "I know, I am acting just like an old woman." He paused and tried to collect himself. "It's just that when I look at you now, I realize just how much you lost three years ago. I can't help but feel responsible for the turn your life took..."

"It wasn't your fault Uncle." He interrupted. "I knew to be silent during the war council, but I didn't."

"You were a young boy, full of passion and naive about the ways of war. I should have refused to let you accompany me."

"You couldn't have anticipated what happened, or the fact that my own father would challenge me to an agni kai."

"I knew the type of man my brother was. I should have seen it coming."

Zuko reached out and placed a hand on his uncle's shoulder. "It's ok Uncle. The past is behind us. All the pain and the heartache is just a memory now. And besides, I would not be where I am today if it had turned out any differently."

"Still I cannot help but feel responsible. It should never have happened."

"No it shouldn't have, but it was my father who was responsible for that, not you. He should never have challenged me to an agni kai or banish me for refusing to fight."

Iroh looked down and said softly, "I always knew that my brother was capable of doing horrible things, but I never thought that he would treat his own son with such cruelty."

"That's because you were a much better father. You understood that discipline is necessary for growth and change. My father saw it only as a means to punish. The only lesson he wished to instill in me was to keep my mouth shut and follow him blindly."

Iroh looked up and with a slight smile said, "A lesson you thankfully failed to learn."

Zuko returned his smile and said, "That's because I am too much my _mother's_ son. She would never have tolerated such behavior. Her last words to me were a reminder to never forget who I was. She would have been proud of me for what I did that day..."

"She would be even more proud of what you did today."

"It was what I had to do. It was time to set things right."

His uncle reached out and cupped the smooth skin where his scar used to be. "I am so pleased with the man you have become."

Blinking back tears he replied simply, "I had a great teacher."

As soon as he spoke Iroh grabbed him in a tight embrace. As he released him, Zuko wiped the tears that had fallen regardless of his best efforts to remain in control. With a slight laugh he said, "Now we're both acting like old ladies."

Iroh laughed at that remark and after a moment said, "I wanted to give you the time alone that you needed to collect your thoughts, but I think that it is time you returned to camp."

He suddenly became concerned, "Is something wrong? Is the Avatar ok?"

"He's resting comfortably, but I am a little worried about Katara."

His uncle's remark made his stomach drop. "Why are you worried about her? Did she get hurt?"

"It's nothing physical, Zuko. She just seems distant and she's been very quiet. I think she needs to talk, but I have a feeling that it is you who she wants to confide in."

He thought about that. For over two weeks now Katara had been there for him, listening when he needed to talk to someone. Maybe it was time to return the favor. Nodding his head in agreement he said, "I think you're right about that."

His uncle gave him a reassuring smile and then said, "You know it has been quite some time since I have been able to sit quietly and take in such a view as lovely as this one. Maybe you should head back to camp without me and I'll join you in a little while."

He gave his uncle a look, but he wasn't about to argue with him. He knew that his reunion with Katara would be a slight bit awkward with the older man hanging around. In fact if she needed to talk she would be more comfortable without a crowd. "You're right Uncle. You do deserve some time to yourself. In fact take all the time you need. Don't feel that you need to rush back on my account."

"You are too kind nephew." He responded.

He turned and began to walk back to camp. As he came upon her she was sitting a slight distance from the fire and Aang. With her legs drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them, she gazed at the young boy. It was clear that she was lost in her thoughts, and it wasn't until he was right on top of her that she reacted to his presence. When she looked up at him he could see sadness in her expression, and even though she smiled at him it never reached her eyes.

* * *

Katara realized that she couldn't hide her true feelings from Zuko. As soon as she looked up at him his expression grew concerned. Kneeling down beside her he reached out, and without saying a word, pulled her to him. With her head lying against his chest, she could feel his arms wrap loosely around her body. Gently he kissed the top of her head and whispered, "It's alright Katara. Whatever it is that's bothering you, it's alright. I'm here for you. Let me help you." 

As soon as he spoke she could feel the tears begin to fall down her face. Letting go of her legs, she brought her hands up and returned his embrace. As he had done just a few hours earlier, he silently held her and let her cry.

She couldn't explain these emotions that had overwhelmed her. She should have been happy. It was as if everything that she had wished for over the past few weeks had come true. Still as soon as she knew that Aang was safe and was able to digest everything that had happened that afternoon, she felt a sudden anxiety grip her heart. She felt unsure of herself and terrified of something that she couldn't even pin down.

Trying to collect herself she said quietly, "I'm so sorry Zuko."

"Sorry? What do you have to be sorry about Katara?" he asked.

Honestly she didn't know herself. The words had just seemed to tumble from her mouth. She pulled back slightly and looked at his face; his beautiful and unblemished face. Reaching up she touched the skin below his left eye and said, "Your face... it's perfect... you would never know by looking at you..."

Once again the tears overwhelmed her and she began to sob softly. His expression showed his confusion, but even more so she could see fear in his eyes. "Katara I don't understand. I want to help you, but I don't know what to do."

"I don't understand myself. I should be happy. I should be overjoyed, but when I look at you I just can't help but feel guilty..."

"Why would you feel guilty? I've been healed. My scar is gone. In fact I owe it to you. You saved my life..."

"But I didn't want to!" she blurted out. He recoiled slightly at her outburst and she bent her head down in shame. "When my father pulled you from the wreckage of your ship we thought you were dead. You should have been, and I knew that if I didn't heal you with my bending that you would die. Your uncle pleaded with me. He begged me to save your life." She looked up into his eyes and repeated, "He begged me Zuko. He shouldn't have had to beg. I should have healed you because you were a human being in need of help, but I couldn't. I hated you for what you did in Ba Sing Se. I wanted to see you pay for what had happened, and I couldn't get past those feelings. I couldn't heal you."

"But you did Katara..."

"Eventually, but at first I walked away. I couldn't do it. I was going to let you die."

"But you didn't."

"No I didn't. In the end I couldn't. I can't explain it, but when I looked back at you lying there dying, I couldn't walk away." She lowered her head again and then whispered, "My reasons for leaving you to die were so selfish. I was so mad at you for all the pain that I had felt. I blamed you for what happened to Aang, and I wanted nothing more than to get justice." Looking back up she said, "I never would have guessed that you were the key to Aang reconnecting with the Avatar State, or that you were just as important as him in ending this war. I would have let you die because of my anger, and the world would have ultimately paid the price."

Reaching up he held her face in his hands and staring intently at her he said, "Katara you healed me. No matter what you were feeling, no matter how much you hated me at the time, you still healed me. A lesser person would have walked away. Someone else might not have been as compassionate as you. You talk about my destiny and Aang's destiny, but what about your own destiny. Have you stopped to think that maybe, just maybe, your destiny was to save us; that without you none of this would have been possible. You brought Aang back to life, and you saved me from death. But even more so Katara, you saved me from myself."

It was her turn to look confused. "How did I do that?"

He smiled slightly and said, "Opening those chakras was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Each one left me more drained, and there were times when I was afraid to continue. But you were always there for me to talk to. You kept me going and you helped me succeed. I am indebted to you for much more than my life."

Leaning forward he kissed her tenderly on the lips. It was a brief caress that ended too soon, but in it she found strength. As he pulled back he looked at her and she gave him a weak smile and then rested her head against his chest. His arms encircled her once more, and she sat there silently marveling over the calming effect he had on her.

If only he understood how much their talks had changed her. When they had arrived at the temple she was torn up inside, and the only thing that kept her together was her hatred for him. But as he progressed through the chakras she found it harder and harder to hold onto those bitter feelings. The more she learned about him, the more she found herself caring for him, and in that she found a strength inside her that she never knew that she possessed. It was one thing to love her family and friends, but he had taught her that she could find it in her heart to love her enemies as well.

She realized that she cared deeply for him, and part of her was afraid that something would happen to him. Everyone that she loved had been hurt by this war. Friends and family had lost their lives, and she didn't want to lose him as well.

Instinctively she tightened her arms around him and said softly, "I don't want to lose you."

His grip on her tightened as well and he replied, "I thought we already agreed that we wouldn't leave each other."

"Yes we did, but sometimes things happen. My mother planned to always be there for Sokka and me, but she died."

He was silent for a moment and then said, "Katara I can't promise you that I won't die. We're at war. Eventually we will have to face my father. Anything could happen..."

At his words she pulled back from his embrace and stood abruptly. Wrapping her arms around herself she turned her back to him. Fresh tears ran down her face, but she didn't care. She couldn't lose him, not now, not after she finally realized how much she loved him. Turning back around she faced him and in a determined voice she said, "No, I won't accept that. I'm tired of bad things always happening. Nothing good ever seems to last." Closing her eyes she said, "I'm so scared that if I let myself feel joy over all that has happened, it'll be snatched away."

She heard him get up and approach her. Taking her hands he said gently, "Katara look at me" She opened her eyes and looked into his. "You shouldn't be afraid to feel excited by what happened today. Our lives have changed for the better. Aang is whole again, and together we will be there to make sure he fulfills his destiny." Smiling he continued, "The world has been waiting for this time for over a hundred years. The people are ready to take a stand and Aang is their rallying point. We can make it happen."

"You seem so sure."

"I am sure." He replied. "For the first time in many years I feel hope. We will do this Katara. I believe in Aang... and I believe in you." With that said he leaned in and kissed her, but this time was different than before. He seemed more passionate, and she couldn't help but respond in kind. All the sorrow she had been feeling had left her drained. His kiss seemed to fill that emptiness and give her strength.

Finally breaking the kiss, he turned his head and whispered against her ear, "I can't imagine my life without you in it, and I will do everything I can to make sure that we come out of this together."

Smiling she said, "I believe you...and I believe in you as well."

She knew at that moment that she loved him, and she felt certain he loved her back. Though neither of them was ready to say it yet, she knew the time would come. Zuko was right to feel hope, and she couldn't help but feel it too. Their lives had changed, and as scared as she was, she had to believe that everything would work out. Good would prevail. Aang would succeed, and they would be there together to see it happen.

* * *

A.N. This was one of those chapters that I envisioned one way, but on paper went a completely different direction. The beginning with Iroh was how I planned it, but the ending with Katara was totally different. I like this direction better, but I'm not sure if I conveyed what I was trying to get across. I just know from past experiences of my own that when things go bad for a long period of time, it's hard to trust the good things that come our way. Both characters, while happy for Zuko were still in a little bit of shock over everything that had happened.

This story still has a few more chapters planned to bring about closure. I hope to finish soon, but with the changes to this chapter, my next ones may not go as I planned. We'll see. As for a sequel - I'm not promising anything. I would like to do something, more like drabbles than an actual story, but I have to finish _The Walls Between Them_ first.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The last one got the most reviews of any I've submitted before ! I'm glad people enjoyed it. Thanks again to all that do review.


	29. Chapter 28 The Honest Truth

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**The Honest Truth**

Zuko lay still on his mat, caught somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. He could feel the sun on his face, and knew he should really rise, but his body protested, still desiring rest. The last few days had been exhausting. He figured that he had gone almost the entire two days without any sleep, and he barely had the energy the night before to eat anything.

He remembered falling asleep with his head in Katara's lap as she softly stroked his hair. Right before he drifted off he could feel her fingertips brush lightly over the smooth flesh of the left side of his face. She was exploring his newly healed features, much like he had done himself many hours earlier. Her gentle movements reminded him of his mother, and made him feel safe and secure for the first time in many years. For the first time since Ursa had disappeared, he slept peacefully without any nightmares or guilt.

Sleep had helped to clear his mind somewhat, and the shock from yesterday was starting to wear off. As he lay there, holding on to the last vestiges of sleep, he realized that they had all been in a daze yesterday. It seemed that he was not the only one to have not gotten much rest the previous evening. The lack of sleep combined with the events of the afternoon had definitely taken its toll on all of them. Today would be different. Today he would truly start his life fresh.

Keeping his eyes closed, he was set to hold onto this quiet moment for just a little longer when he heard Aang's voice, "Here you go buddy. Katara picked these just for you."

He opened his eyes and turned to see the Avatar feeding some apples to his bison. Looking around camp he noticed that Katara and his uncle were gone. Sitting up he stared at the boy's back, and his mind registered something that he hadn't noticed yesterday. Without realizing it he spoke out loud, "The scar is gone."

Aang's hand went instinctively to his back as if looking for the missing mark. He then turned and smiling said, "I guess you're not the only one who was healed yesterday." He looked at the boy questioningly. Aang laughed and continued. "Katara said that my injury must have been healed while I was in the Avatar State. I'm not sure how, but I'm not complaining."

He started to walk away from Appa and approached Zuko. His face was scrunched up like he was inspecting something he had never seen before. He was almost on top of the prince when he stopped. His stare was beginning to make him feel uneasy and he said with a slight bit of sarcasm, "You're not going to start crying too are you?"

Aang cocked his head to the side and said, "I can if you want me too."

Zuko couldn't help but laugh. "Not really." He replied. "My uncle and Katara were enough."

"I hear ya. They were doing the same thing to me. Well at least Katara was. She kept touching my back and getting all weepy." Then dropping his voice to a whisper he said, "Personally I think she was a little upset that it wasn't her that finally healed that wound."

He laughed again and said, "Somehow I can believe that."

Aang smiled and then backed away, returning to his place close by Appa. "I bet you're hungry. I've got some apples here that Katara picked for Appa, but I'm sure he won't mind sharing, will ya boy?" The bison grunted in return and Zuko questioned how smart it would be to take the food from the animal. "See, he doesn't mind at all." Aang continued, and picking up one of the remaining pieces of fruit, tossed it his way.

"As long as he doesn't mind," Zuko replied wearily. He bit into the apple and realized that he was a lot more hungry than he thought. His stomach let out a loud growl in appreciation, causing Aang to laugh again.

"I think one isn't going to be enough." Picking up another apple, he again tossed it in Zuko's direction. He caught it with his other hand, and nodded his appreciation as his mouth was still full of food.

Aang sat down and silently watched Zuko as he devoured the fruit. After a few moments he said, "Well I guess you opened all the chakras." He nodded his reply and Aang continued. "I didn't know you were so close."

Swallowing the last of the apple he replied, "Once I opened the light chakra I didn't see the point in waiting any longer to continue, so I went ahead with the last one."

Aang nodded his head and then said awkwardly, "So what did you have to give up?"

Before thinking he replied, "Not Katara, if that's what's you're asking."

Aang couldn't help but turn completely red. "That wasn't what I meant. I was just curious, that's all." He grew silent and then asked, "So why not?"

He looked at him a slight bit confused and said, "Why not what?"

"You know, why didn't you have to give her up?"

It was his turn to blush. The boy's questions were getting a little too personal. "The guru said I didn't have to."

Ahhh, I see." he replied. They both grew quiet again. Suddenly Aang's expression changed and he said, "You know that's the stupidest response I've ever heard; _the guru said I didn't have to_. What are you three years old?"

Zuko didn't know quite how to take that. He stared at the boy and replied, "It's just kind of personal. I asked Guru Pathik if I would have to give her up and he said no. I mean he gave me reasons and all, but I don't really feel like going into detail about them."

Aang's mouth dropped open in surprise. Recovering himself he said, "You asked the guru if you would have to give her up."

He felt himself blush at that and said, "Well I needed to know. Besides it was your fault that I did it."

"My fault?" he replied.

"Yes, if you hadn't mentioned giving her up the previous evening I wouldn't have been so worried about it."

"You were worried about having to give up Katara?" the boy asked in a whisper of a voice.

Zuko looked down and replied, "I've never had a friend like Katara. She has helped me through each chakra, and I've grown very attached to her."

"Attached to her?"

"Yeah", he said, feeling a slight bit embarrassed. "She means a lot to me. I didn't want to lose her."

Aang was silent for a moment and then asked, "Do you love her?"

Zuko looked up and locked eyes with the boy. "That's not really your business." He replied a little harshly. Aang's eyes grew wide and he jerked slightly at Zuko's tone. It was then that he remembered how the boy felt about Katara. Aang wasn't being nosey just to satisfy some sense of curiosity. Rising to his feet he walked over to the Avatar and sat down next to him.

Looking at him he said, "Look I didn't mean to sound so angry. It's just that I don't feel comfortable talking about this... especially with you."

"Why not?" the boy asked.

He was surprised to find that he could feel even more uncomfortable than before. "Well because of how you feel about her."

"Oh." Aang replied.

"Look," he started, "I meant what I said yesterday. All I have is yours. I will follow you to the bitter end, but in order to do that we can't have any secrets or resentments towards each other. I don't want to have our feelings for Katara come between us."

"Why would there be a problem if you don't love her."

He rose to his feet again and began to pace in his frustration. Finally turning back towards Aang he said, "I care deeply for Katara. She is very special to me, but I've only really known her for a few weeks. How can you expect me to be in love with her?"

"I fell in love with her the first moment I saw her." The boy replied.

"Well in case you've forgotten, the first time I met Katara I was attacking her village looking for you." He yelled back.

"Yeah, I guess that's true. Still how can you say that you don't want to lose her if aren't in love with her?"

"I don't know, I just... I mean I care about her... it's just that... I'm not the kind of person who likes to talk about touchy feely stuff like you do. I've spent more time exploring my feelings over the past few weeks than in my whole life. Even so, talking about it is still awkward. So excuse me if I don't want to tell you how I feel!"

Aang started to pout slightly at his rant. "Ok, sorry, I didn't mean to pry. Look let's just forget it. Why don't you sit back down and relax."

Zuko started to feel foolish for his outburst, but he was glad that this line of questioning was over. He sat back down next to Aang again and both of them stared into the ashes of the fire from the previous evening. After some time Aang spoke with another question, "So when you opened the crown chakra did you see anything about the future?"

He turned to look at the boy. "Why, did you?"

Aang turned to him and looked just a little smug. "Well actually I did see something about the future."

"You mean your future?" he asked.

"No, as a matter of fact it was Katara's future."

"Why would you see Katara's future?"

"Well I guess it was all part of helping me to let go of her. I saw her future, and I knew that she would be happy, so it wasn't as hard to let her go."

"So in this future was she with anybody in particular?" he asked before he could stop himself.

Aang smiled and replied, "Why would you care. It's not like you have an interest in it. After all it's not like you're in _love _with her."

His eyes narrowed as he glared at the boy. "This is about the previous conversation. You said you would let it go, but you haven't."

"No." Aang replied innocently. "I let it go. I'm just saying that you seem awful interested for someone who is just a good friend with her. What should you care who she ends up with?"

"So you do know!" He said again without censuring himself.

"Yeah, but I won't tell you who, so don't bother asking."

"Who sounds like a child now." He said irritably.

"Well technically I still am a child." Aang replied with a laugh.

Zuko clenched his fists tightly in his lap. Did I really pledge my loyalty and my life to this kid? He was beginning to doubt the wisdom in that move. Beside him Aang began to laugh in earnest.

"Something funny?" he asked.

"It's just that I'm only teasing you and you're getting all upset."

"So you didn't see her future?" he asked.

"Oh I saw her future, and she'll be very happy. It's was just like this fortune teller Madame Wu told her. She'll marry a powerful bender."

"A powerful bender?"

"Yeah, so that leaves me and you out because I'm _the_ _most_ powerful bender and you're just mediocre."

Zuko felt like he was going to explode when beside him Aang started laughing so hard that he fell over. "Now what?" he asked angrily.

Clutching his sides the boy spoke between spasms of laughter. "You are just way too uptight. I'm just giving you a hard time. You're not really mediocre."

"Like I needed you to tell me that."

Aang continued to laugh. When he had composed himself enough he said, "If you don't get a thicker skin before we meet up with Sokka and Toph they're gonna eat you alive."

He stared at Aang for a moment. Toph and Sokka. In reality he had forgotten about them. It was just a matter of time before they left the air temple and headed back to the real world and the war. Suddenly his irritation faded away. On the floor in front of him Aang asked rather concerned, "Are you alright?"

He looked at the boy and said absentmindedly, "This is really happening."

"What is?" Aang asked back.

"I'm going with you to fight the Fire Lord. I'm going to be traveling with you and all the others."

"Yeah, I guess you'll be part of the gang, or as Sokka likes to say – 'Team Avatar!"

Great Agni, what had he gotten himself into, he thought. "Is Katara the only normal one in the bunch?"

"It depends on your definition of normal." Aang replied laughing again.

Zuko brought his hand up to his face and began to rub his eyes. Closing them and pinching the bridge of his nose, he tried to block the headache that was forming. From beside him Aang spoke again, "You know you really need to laugh more."

"We're at war. We're going to face the Fire Lord, my father. There's nothing humorous about that." He replied.

"More so the need for laughter. If you just act serious all the time, you'll eventually go crazy."

"You sound just like my uncle." He said.

"Well your uncle is a great man. He'll fit in fine with the rest of the gang." Aang said cheerfully.

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me." He said with a slight smile.

"Ah ha! You found your sense of humor again. That wasn't so bad was it?"

Zuko looked at the boy. He never ceased to be amazed that the fate of the world rested on Aang's shoulders. But maybe he was right the world could use a little laughter in the face of all the pain and suffering going on.

"No, I guess it wasn't." He said. And then wondering aloud he continued. "Did you get your carefree spirit from the Air Nomads or were you just born that way?"

Aang shrugged his shoulders and replied, "A little of both I suppose."

That sat in silence for some time after that. Finally Zuko said, "About earlier." Aang looked at him and he continued, "Would it change our destiny if I did love Katara? Could we still fight side by side as comrades if I had those kinds of feelings for her, or would it be too hard for you?"

Aang turned away and lowered his head. He remained like that for awhile and then turning back to look at Zuko replied, "It would be hard for me, but if she were happy, truly happy, then I would be able to deal with it."

Zuko smiled at that. Never in his life had he met someone as selfless as Aang, and it proved his decision to join him was a good one. "Thank you." He replied.

"No problem." The boy said in return.

* * *

**A.N.** Originally this chapter was much more serious. Alot of talk about destinies and the war, but after the last chapter I wanted things a little lighter. I enjoy Zuko and Aang going back and forth, and I really wanted to settle the thing with Katara (which could be potentially weird for them if it wasn't addressed). 

I like the way this turned out and I hope you do as well. Please let me know what you think. Reviews are always appreciated. And as always thanks to those who take the time to review on a regular basis. I feel the chapter is a success when I hear from you guys!

* * *

Also, I wanted to let you know about a few good stories out there that are worth the read, if you haven't come across them already:

_Avatar the Last Airbender: The First Step_ by bluespiritgal

_Broken Wing_ by taffy0823


	30. Chapter 29 The Hardest Words to Say

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**The Hardest Words to Say**

Zuko approached the courtyard where the previous day he had pledged his loyalty to Aang. So much had happened since that moment. Bringing his hand to his face he thought about how much his life had changed as a result; how much all of their lives were going to change as well. It was hard to believe that in about two weeks they would be leaving the Eastern Air Temple to meet up with Sokka, Toph, and the rest of the forces they had gathered. He wondered how Katara's brother was going to take the news that he and Iroh would be joining them in their battle against the Fire Lord. More so he wondered how the teen would take his relationship with Katara. He found that he was a slight bit apprehensive about that encounter. Gaining Katara's trust had been difficult enough, but he knew that getting her brother to accept him may prove even harder.

The voices of his uncle and Katara drew him from his thoughts. Aang had told him that the two had set out earlier to train together. As he came across them now, he found his uncle watching intently as Katara showed him one of her water bending movements. Smiling he thought that was typical of Uncle; always eager to learn something new. In his mind he could hear Iroh tell him, _the technique I am about to teach you is one I learned by studying the water benders. _He wondered just how many of the movements that he had learned were actually based on other bending styles.

As he drew closer they stopped what they were doing. His uncle was the first to speak, "You look well rested, my nephew."

"I feel much better." He replied truthfully.

"Good." The older man returned and then asked, "Have you seen Aang this morning?"

"I just left him. He was going off to meditate so I decided to come find you and Katara." He said as he looked at Katara. She smiled and blushed as she caught his gaze. He found himself responding in a similar fashion.

Beside her his uncle groaned and said, "Ooh! My body is so sore from all this work. I know you just got here Zuko, but if you two don't mind, I think I'm going to go find a nice quiet place to soak my old bones."

Zuko looked to Iroh and said, with feigned concern, "You really should take it easy Uncle. In fact if I were you I would take a nice, _long_ soak. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

"How kind of you Zuko," His Uncle replied. "You know ever since you opened that last chakra, you have been so understanding of my needs. Before, you would have been annoyed at my desire to enjoy life at a leisurely pace, but now you seem to almost encourage me on a daily basis."

Zuko smiled and then turning back to Katara he said, "I guess I'm finally learning that it's ok to slow down and enjoy the simple pleasures in life."

She returned his smile, and then placing her hand on Iroh's shoulder said sweetly, "You know Zuko is right. You really should take it easy."

His uncle placed his hand on Katara's and said in return, "Are you sure you don't mind me leaving you with just my nephew for company?"

She laughed slightly at then and replied, "I think I'll manage."

"Well then I guess there is no reason for me to stay." With that he turned to leave. As he made his way to Zuko he paused, and then said softly, "It really is good to see you up and about." He then leaned in closer and in a voice only Zuko could hear he continued, "More so it is good to see you genuinely happy." He then glanced back at Katara and whispered, "She is a truly lovely young woman."

"Yes she is." Zuko replied.

"I see." His uncle replied enthusiastically. "Well then just remember, girls like to hear sweet words. And flowers; they always appreciate flowers..."

"Uncle!" he said a little tersely. He could feel himself getting embarrassed.

"Oh, and poetry..."

"Uncle, I think I can handle this on my own!"

Iroh smiled and then patting Zuko on the back said, "I'm sure you can." He then continued on his walk away from them.

Zuko looked to Katara. She stood silently with a smile on her face. "So care to share with me what that was all about?" she asked in a teasing tone.

He walked closer to her, and then shrugging his shoulders he said, "You know Uncle, he's always trying to impart some wisdom on me whenever he can."

"Yes." She replied and then waited for him to continue.

"Well it was just a bunch of babble. I mean sometimes I can make sense out of it, but most of the time I don't really know what he's getting at. This was one of those times." He lied.

She gave him a look that said that she didn't believe him, but she let it go anyways. "So I guess you had a good night's sleep?" she asked.

"Yeah I feel much better now. The shock of yesterday has kind of worn off."

She smiled and then, with anxiety in her voice, said, "You know about yesterday... well I sort of feel embarrassed about losing control like that."

"I think we were all a little bit overwhelmed yesterday. And you shouldn't feel embarrassed. It's ok to lose control every once in a while. If you keep your feelings bottled up inside, you'll eventually go crazy."

"I know you're right, but I still feel bad about it." She replied.

Looking into her eyes he said, "Katara I can't tell you how much it means to me that you trust me enough to let your guard down. It was nice to be the one who was able to give comfort for a change."

She blushed at his remark and he was reminded once again about how strongly he felt about her. He realized that if he could he would love nothing more than to keep her safe and happy for the rest of their lives. Leaning forward he gently gave her a kiss.

When he pulled back she said softly, "For so long I've had to be the strong one for everyone else. It was nice to have someone be strong for me."

"Anytime you need me, I'll be there for you." He said as he slipped his hand into hers. Changing the conversation he said, "You know I've been here for about two weeks and I have yet to see much of the Air temple. Would you like to spend some time exploring with me today?"

She nodded her head and said, "Sure."

As they walked off he thought how thankful he was that his uncle was not the foolish old man that others took him for. Iroh was well aware of what was going on around him, and he knew when he should make himself scarce. Zuko found that he wanted nothing more than to spend the afternoon alone with Katara and Uncle understood that. Zuko was looking forward to their walk, and though he enjoyed their company, he was glad not to have Iroh or Aang tagging along.

* * *

The afternoon had been one of the nicest that Katara had experienced in a long time. She and Zuko strolled through the grounds of the air temple, hand in hand, for the rest of the day. They spent most of the time talking about things that had happened to them when they were younger, and eventually they discussed what each had gone through since this whole journey with Aang had begun. It was eye opening to hear some of the things that had happened to him over the past year, and she was pleasantly surprised to find that as he related his side of the events she no longer felt anger at him. 

Opening the chakras had changed him. She knew that the Zuko that she had first met was now gone. He was free to be himself without the burden of past mistakes weighing him down. The boy who walked beside her now was sweet, compassionate, and funny. She had not expected him to have much of a sense of humor considering how serious he had been when he was chasing them, but he surprised her with his wit. Being around his uncle must have worn off. She found herself laughing as he would tell her stories of his past, mimicking characters like Azula, Zhao, and even his uncle.

He was finishing telling her a story about an Earth Kingdom town that he had visited while he was traveling without his uncle. As he told her about the events that had occurred he mentioned how he had found himself missing home all the more, especially his mother.

They came to a balcony on one of the highest tiers of the temple, and looked out at the brilliant colors of the darkening sky. Squeezing his hand she asked, "What was your mother like?"

Still gazing out at the scene before him he replied, "She was beautiful; not just on the outside, but in her soul. She always made me feel like I could do anything. She believed in me when no one else did. I think my father resented all the time she spent with me, but she didn't let him intimidate her. She was strong like that. Once she made up her mind about something there was no swaying her from it."

"Sounds like someone else I know." She said with a smile.

He grinned and then after a moment replied in a whisper, "Her influence over me was probably the only thing that kept me from becoming as cold as my father."

Katara thought about that. It must have been so hard having Ozai for a father. She cringed at the thought of being married to someone like that. Turning to Zuko she asked, "Did you father love your mother or was their marriage arranged?"

He turned to her and said, "They don't arrange marriages in the Fire Nation any more, but that doesn't mean that marriages aren't made for political gain. I think my mother was the ideal wife for my father's plans, at least in his eyes. She was stunning and graceful, but she was also sharp and insightful. She knew what was expected of her for her station, and she lived accordingly."

"Did she love him?"

He let out a sigh and said, "Honestly I don't really know. They seemed happy; at least when I was a young child. But as my father's desire for power grew, she began to withdraw. When she disappeared I think he was relieved."

"I'm so sorry." She replied.

They stood silently for some time when Zuko asked, "What about your parents? Were they in love? I heard that the water tribe still arranged marriages?"

"They do in the north, but our tribe was so small that a lot of those traditions were done away with. My parents married for love. They had known each other all their lives, and when the time was right they were married."

"It must have been hard for your father to lose her like he did." Zuko said softly.

She felt tears sting her eyes as she thought about how hard it had been for all of them. "He tried to be strong for Sokka and me, but I know he was crushed by her death."

She turned back out and stared into the darkness. The stars were beginning to shine brightly now that the sun had set. At this elevation she felt that she could just reach out her hands and grab one for herself.

Beside her she felt Zuko shift. Releasing her hand he moved behind her and loosely wrapped his arms around her waist. Speaking softlyhe said, "Katara, do you believe in love at first sight?"

She was silent a moment longer and then replied, "I don't know. When we went to the Northern Water Tribe Sokka fell in love with Yue as soon as he saw her. But I'm sure if she had been mean or snobbish, he would have lost interest. And my parents knew each other since they were children, but they didn't fall in love until they were our age. So I guess it's possible, but I don't think it's always the case."

"I see." He simply replied.

"Why do you ask?" she couldn't help but say.

She could feel him stiffen slightly behind her and then he relaxed again. "Well it's just that Aang and I were talking earlier..."

"About love?" she interrupted.

"Sort of." He replied awkwardly. "Aang just said that he had fallen... I mean he had been in... well that he always knew how he felt about you from the first time he saw you"

She couldn't help but feel embarrassed by that. "So you and Aang just sat around talking about his love life?"

"Not exactly." He said. "I mean he asked me if I was in... well actually he wanted to know how I felt about..."

She could hear how flustered he was and couldn't help but smile. As much as he tried to act like he had it all together, he could still get just as tongue tied as her brother at times. He grew silent and released his hold on her. He moved away from her and over to the balcony. Resting his hands on the rails, he looked out into the night sky and said, "It's just that when I first met you it wasn't under the best of circumstances."

"True." She replied.

He turned back to look at her and continued, "Well I just... I never really..." He let out another sigh and said, "Your parents loved each other. You know what love is like, but I never really had much of an example. Aang seemed so sure of his feelings for you, but I just feel confused."

His words left her feeling a slight bit uneasy. Had she completely misjudged him? She had thought that they shared similar affections for each other, but now she wasn't so confident. "What do you mean by confused?" she asked.

"It's just that we've only really known each other for about two weeks, and that's not a lot of time. But I have these feelings for you, strong feelings." He turned back around to look out into the night. "Aang fell in love with you the first time he saw you, but you said your parents didn't fall in love until they were older, so where does that leave me."

Katara felt her heartbeat speed up. She hadn't misjudged him. He did love her, but he was unsure about himself. She turned towards him and reaching her hand to his face, gently turned him towards her again. Looking in his eyes she said, "If anyone had told me that day on the beach that in two weeks time I would have fallen in love with you, I would have told them that they were crazy. But they would have been right." His eyes grew wide at her words. She gave him a smile and then continued. "Love knows no time. You can't put limits on it or set guidelines as to how it will happen. It just does. Whether or not it happens in an instant or over the course of years does not diminish its worth. And just because two people start out as enemies, does not mean that they can't find happiness together."

She then pulled his face towards hers and kissed him soundly. She felt his arms wrap around her as he deepened the kiss. She felt a warmth spread through her body and she couldn't help but think how right this felt. Suddenly Madame Wu's words from months earlier came back to her; a great romance and marriage to a powerful bender. Could the woman have been talking about Zuko? Breaking the kiss, she pulled back and looked at Zuko in wonderment.

He smiled at her and then said, "So it doesn't bother you that I love you?"

She laughed teasingly and said, "It would bother me if you didn't."

That caused him to smile even greater than before. Once more he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. They stood that way for some time until Zuko finally said, "We should really head back to camp before my uncle and Aang come looking for us."

"I guess you're right." She replied reluctantly.

As they headed back to camp she was struck by how much she was going to miss this place once they were gone. Her love for Zuko had blossomed in the isolation of the temple, but soon they would be back amongst so many people. And despite all of Zuko's changes, she knew that the road ahead would not be easy for him. One thing was for sure, her life would never be the same.

She thought back again to that day on the beach. How empty her life would have been if she had not followed her heart then. Her journey at the temple had changed her almost as profoundly as Zuko's had him. She had grown and she had learned to open her heart again.

Maybe Zuko had been right yesterday. Maybe it was her destiny to heal him and Aang, and by doing so she had healed herself as well.

* * *

**A.N.** Personally this was one of my favorite chapters. I enjoyed writing it and I enjoyed editing it. Usually I am anxious about these two declaring their love for each other so early on. That sort of inspired Zuko's concerns towards the end of the chapter. I also think that they had been through so much together that they would have bonded pretty quick. 

I drew a lot from both the third season and from my reviews from chapters 27 and 28 when writing this chapter. Some of the inspiration from the series may be obvious,others not so. As for reviews it was iluv2view2 that inspired Katara's talk about her embarassment over falling apart in chapter 27.

I am trying finish this story before I head back to work in two weeks, but with Christmas approaching I can't promise anything. Also I know that some people have expressed excitement over Toph and Sokka entering the story, and I feel horrible, but this story will end when they leave the temple. I have thrown around ideas for what would happen later, but I won't promise a sequel. If I do it will be more like drabbles than a full fledged story.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Please let me know. Once again thanks to all who review. Your responses really do help to shape this story!


	31. Chapter 30 Faith and Trust

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**Faith and Trust**

They spent the remainder of their time at the Eastern Air Temple training for the imminent battle with Ozai. The four of them woke with the sun and trained until lunch. Then they would rest for a few hours during the hottest part of the day, only to resume training until dark. He had not worked this hard in a long time, and he was pleased to see that Katara and Aang were just as focused as him.

It felt good to fire bend again, and the guru had been right, his bending had improved significantly since he opened the last chakra. He was amazed at how smoothly everything seemed to flow. Never before in his life had he had so much control and felt so much power. He knew that mastery of his element, as well as confidence in his abilities, was key if he was to be of any use to Aang. With the confrontation with Ozai coming before the summer solstice, he knew they would all have to be in the best condition.

He wished that Katara would not be there for the invasion of the capital city, but he knew that there was no way that she would remain safely tucked away while her friends and family fought to end the war. He respected her abilities as a master, but he couldn't help but worry about her. Aang shared his feelings as well, but the two knew better than to voice their concerns to her. She was just as determined as they were to win the battle, and she would do it by their side.

She trained just as fiercely as he did, and at times Aang and Iroh would sit off to the side, tired and sore, and watch them as they practiced. He was relentless in his training with her. If she would not be swayed to stay out of the battle, then he planned to make sure that she was ready to face any move that a fire bender may send her way. He refused to leave her vulnerable during the battle. And as each day went by he felt his love for her drive him on more and more to do his best to guarantee her safety.

It still amazed him that she loved him. For so long they had been on opposing sides, but now they were united in more ways than just combat. He found that each night he looked forward to spending time with her. Even though they were exhausted, they would talk for hours. He had learned so much about her life in the South Pole and in turn he had confided much to her about his time growing up in the royal palace. And when they were too tired to talk anymore they would just lie, gazing up at the stars, until they fell asleep. He treasured this time with her because he knew that soon they would be leaving, and once back amongst her family and friends, they would not have many opportunities to be alone.

He found that after his talk with Aang, the boy had done his best to give him and Katara space. They were both sensitive to the young monk's feelings, and neither wanted to cause him any more heartache, so they kept their contact platonic while he was around. It was only during their late night talks or walks around the temple grounds that he would hold her hand or steal a kiss. It was an arrangement that seemed to work for all of them, and so their days fell into a comfortable, but exhausting routine.

Now their comfortable routine was coming to an end. Tomorrow they would leave the air temple to begin their journey to the Earth Kingdom base, where they would meet up with Toph, Sokka, and the rest of the invasion force they had gathered. He couldn't help but feel a slight apprehension about joining them. After all he was still the Fire Lord's son, and his uncle was the Dragon of the West. He couldn't help but believe that their reception would not be the warmest. And as he had come to discover through his conversations with Katara, Toph and Sokka held no ill will towards Iroh, but they only agreed to Zuko joining Aang at the air temple because it was the only way to get his uncle to agree to teach Aang fire bending. Convincing them that he had changed would be one thing, but to have her brother accept that he and Katara cared for each other as much more than friends was another thing entirely.

His anxiety over this drove him to train more vigorously than usual, until at the close of the day he was the last one left standing. As he took a moment to catch his breath and regroup his thoughts, his uncle approached him.

Placing his hand on his nephew's shoulder he said in a concerned voice, "You really need to rest Zuko. Tomorrow will still come, whether you exhaust yourself today or not."

He looked at his uncle and said honestly, "I don't know if I'm ready to leave this place."

His uncle smiled and said, "You have changed so much since we arrived here a month ago. People will see that change, but you will need to give them time."

"I know you're right," he said, "but I just can't help but worry that I'll somehow mess up. What if I undo all the progress that I have made here?"

"You are still meditating each day are you not?" Iroh asked. He nodded his head in reply. "And you spend time in the evening going through the chakras to keep them flowing?" Again he nodded. "Then you should be fine."

Zuko sighed and said, "I still wonder if Katara's brother will accept me."

His uncle smiled again and leaning in said in a hushed voice, "When I sought the Avatar's help in Ba Sing Se Katara's brother was not to willing to give you a chance. I told him that there was good _inside_ you, and do you know what he said in response?" Zuko shrugged his shoulders and Iroh continued, "He said the good inside you wasn't enough; to come back when it was on the outside as well."

He didn't know quite how to take that so he asked, "How is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Zuko, the good_ is_ on the outside of you. What was once buried deep within you has been resurrected. You have taken the time to change, and it will be obvious to Sokka and any others that knew you before, once they spend time with you."

"I hope so." He said.

"I know so." His uncle replied with a wink. And then after a moment he said, "I know that you are probably exhausted, but there is still something that I want you to try before we leave here."

He looked at his uncle. He had a feeling that he knew what that something was, but he was still apprehensive about it. "You want me to bend lightning don't you?" he asked.

His uncle nodded. "Before when you tried it you were not ready, but now you have dealt with all the turmoil that was inside you, and you have a confidence in your bending that was not present before. I believe the time has finally come to attempt it again."

"I don't Uncle, "he began. "I know I have progressed much in my abilities, but lightning..."

His uncle's expression became hard and he said with authority in his voice, "Zuko this is something that needs to be done. If you are to face your father and your sister, you will need every weapon that you can bring to the fight."

He looked down as he let his uncle's words penetrate his thoughts. Iroh was right, and honestly he wasn't quite sure why he was balking at the idea, but he couldn't help but feel uneasy, and unsure. Looking up he glanced over to where Katara sat quietly talking with Aang. Without taking his eyes from them he said, "If you are sure that this is the right time."

His uncle's gaze went to the two younger benders as well. "There is no other time. You are ready to do this now. Soon Aang will be ready as well. But this is your moment. You will never be more ready than now."

Zuko understood the meaning behind his uncle's words, and his insistence on doing it before they left to join the others. At the heart of it all Iroh was protecting him. He knew how hard it had been for Zuko watching his younger sister master their element, while he struggled through every form. And now Aang, who had only begun his training a month earlier, had almost mastered it as well. If Zuko did not act now the boy would surpass him, and his uncle did not want that to happen. He was giving him the opportunity to do this before the Avatar, and Zuko knew he would take it.

Still looking at Katara he said softly, "Then I guess I will try."

As if she could sense his gaze, Katara looked up at him and smiled. Turning to Aang she said something, and they both stood up and walked over to join him and Iroh.

"So are you two ready to clean up and have some dinner?" she asked.

"There is still one move I need Zuko to attempt." His uncle said before he could respond.

Katara stared at them puzzled, and then her expression darkened and shaking her head she said, "You want him to create lightning, don't you."

"Katara," Zuko began as he reached out to touch her shoulder. She shook him off violently.

"No! You can't do this. I won't let you do this!" she yelled in frustration.

He was at a loss as what to say when his uncle spoke up, "Katara this is something that Zuko must do..."

"No it's not!" she replied angrily. "What possible reason is there for creating lightning? It's nothing but destructive."

"Lightning can be very destructive when used as a weapon," Iroh began in a soothing tone, "and it is something that should never be directed at a human being..."

"But it was! Azula killed Aang with it. You saw it. You saw how horrible it was." With that she began to sob loudly. Zuko stepped forward and embraced her. This time she accepted his comfort. With her face against his chest she sobbed, "His boot... the blast blew his boot right off his foot. The force of it exiting his body was that fierce. It was if the bolt entered his back and dragged his spirit with it as it left his body. If I hadn't caught him he would have crushed every bone in his body from the fall."

With that she stopped and buried her face in Zuko's chest. He could feel her hot tears on his flesh, and his heart ached for her. He had never realized how awful the experience had been for her, how truly horrific a lightning blast could be or the damage it could do to a human body. He had no words for her, so instead he stroked her back and offered her the only comfort he could give.

Gently his uncle spoke, "Katara, what you witnessed that day was something that no one should have to see. What my niece did was cruel, and it was wrong, but that is the way she is. She uses fire for destruction. But it is for that reason that Zuko needs to be prepared, as will Aang eventually. In order to defeat her he will need to possess confidence, and that can only be gained through mastering the element."

Pulling back from him, she wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "I understand, but that doesn't mean that I accept it. And I will not watch!"

Her words stung. For Zuko this was a pivotal moment in his training. He wanted nothing more than to have her there with him as he mastered his element. But he understood her reluctance. "It's ok Katara. I understand." He said.

She looked up at him and said, "I'm sorry Zuko, but I just can't."

Before he could say anything more, Aang spoke up. "Katara, we have faced some difficult times together. I wish that you did not have to witness what happened to me in Ba Sing Se, and I wish I could change all our actions from that day, but I can't. We all have to move on, but if you refuse to accept Zuko's ability to bend lightning, then you will never be able to do that, and he will never truly have your trust."

She turned to Aang and said heatedly, "How can you say that? I have forgiven Zuko. I do trust him."

"Not enough to let him try to bend lightning." The boy shot back.

"That's not how it is." She protested. "You should know that Aang. You were the one who suffered the most from the attack."

"From Azula's attack." He emphasized. "Zuko never shot me with lightning, and honestly I could never see him doing that to anyone. He is not his sister, and I trust him with my life."

Zuko looked at Aang, touched by the boy's words. Before he realized it he said, "Thank you."

Katara turned her gaze back to him as soon as the words left his mouth. "Do you believe that Zuko? Do you think that I don't trust you?" she asked. The hurt was evident in her voice.

He reached out to her again. Taking her hands in his he said softly, "On a conscious level, I think you trust me."

"So you agree with Aang?" she asked as she pulled her hands from his grasp.

"Katara, you have a right not to trust me completely. What I did in Ba Sing Se hurt you deeply. By siding with Azula I let you down, and I risked Aang's life."

"But I've forgiven you. I told you that."

"Forgiveness and trust is not the same thing. I know that you have forgiven me, and our feelings for each other could not be so strong if there wasn't trust between us. But I think that Aang is right. I think that deep in your heart there is a fear that I could betray you again. You may not want to feel that way, but you can't help it." Taking her hands again he continued, "I don't resent you for it, and I know that I can't change that. It is a real fear, but you have something else that I believe is stronger than that fear. You have faith, and from that faith there will always be hope. You believe in me, even though it sometimes scares you to do so. It is that faith that will see us through the hard times to come. I truly believe that."

She bowed her head for a moment, and then looking up he noticed a resolve in her eyes. Squeezing his hands she said, "I'll stay. I'll watch you. But I won't like it."

He smiled at her and replied, "I'll understand if you really want to leave."

"No." she said, "I need to do this – for you, and for me."

He kissed her gently and then turned to his uncle and said, "You're right. There will never be a better time than now."

His uncle nodded and they walked a distance from Aang and Katara. Facing the mountains in the distance, Zuko took his stance. Clearing his mind he began the circular motions that would create the lightning. He knew from the beginning that this time was different from any of the other times before. He could feel the energy, positive and negative, building. He waited for just the right moment and then released the charge, directing towards the open space before him.

As he watched the lightning shoot across the sky, he felt completely at peace. For so long his life had been like that lightning. Positive and negative forces always seemed to struggle within him seeking balance. Until he had come to this place, he had never known how good that balance could feel. Now that he had come to terms with his past, he had found a way to release those feelings. For the first time he was truly whole and he owed it to the three people standing behind him now.

Turning to face them he couldn't help but smile. He had done it. He had truly done it. Iroh patted him on the back in congratulations, Aang nodded his head in approval, but it was Katara's embrace and her words softly whispered in his ear that meant the most. She was proud of him. No matter how afraid she had been, and would be in the future, she was willing to let him try. She was willing to have faith in him.

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**A.N.** I thought that this would be the last chapter, but as I wrote it it became much more than I had envisioned and the second half of the chapter would not have worked with it. The next chapter should do it. I started with Katara and I plan to end with her as well.

I have really enjoyed writing this story, and have learned a lot from all of my reviewers along the way. I really would like to continue, but as I said before I cannot promise anything. But I will say this much, I have already loaded the first chapter of a possible sequel (drabbles - not full blown story) into my documents. I want to get a little more planned out before I commit.

Thank you to all who have reviewed. This story means a lot to me and I am touched by the response it has gotten.


	32. Chapter 31 Better Days

_I do not own Avatar or any of its characters._

**Better Days**

Katara stood gazing out at the mountains that surrounded the air temple. Today would be the last time that she would do such a thing for a long time, possibly forever. She wanted to remember every little detail about this place and their time here. She thought back to months earlier when her journey with Aang had barely begun. He had taken her and Sokka to see his home at the Southern Air Temple. She had remembered her excitement over seeing an air temple, but it had been tempered with a slight bit of apprehension from knowing what they would probably find once they got there.

The Eastern Air Temple had been a different experience right from the beginning. She still approached the temple with awe and apprehension, but this time her fears were not for Aang's emotional well being, but his actual safety. She didn't trust Zuko, and she worried that in the month's time that they would be there he may try something. But he had surprised them all. Weary from the war and dissatisfied with his life as he was, he had taken the guru up on his offer to change. She had been skeptical at first. Her guard was always up around him, but in the end he had changed. This brought a smile to her face as she realized they all had changed.

One month ago they had arrived here exhausted and in need of healing. Each of them had demons to contend with. Each had been wounded in one way or another. Their time at the temple had healed them all, and it had all started with Zuko. It was ironic in a way. Zuko had been the source of all their suffering, or so she had believed when they first arrived. His betrayal in Ba Sing Se had cost all of them dearly, but in the end it was his willingness to change that had set off a series of events that would not only affect each of them, but eventually the whole world.

It amazed her that this boy, who had entered her life as her enemy, attacked her village, and tracked her and her friends around the world, would eventually be the key to peace amongst the nations. The Prince Zuko that she had first met months earlier cared only for himself, and would stop at nothing to restore his lost honor. He had done some horrible things to them, but it never seemed to faze him. He had been so narrow minded and focused on his goal of capturing Aang that he had never thought about anyone else. Now she knew differently. She had learned about the pain that drove him forward; that had made him grow stronger and more determined, and she was thankful for those qualities because without them he would have never opened the chakras.

It still amazed her just how much he had changed as a result of his experiences with Guru Pathik. Gone were the insecurities and doubts that had plagued him for so long. Without the need to prove himself to his father he had become free and surer of himself. He understood his destiny, and that understanding was what now drove him forward. It was a difference that could be seen in his temperament as well as his bending.

He had told her that for so long his bending had been fueled by anger and hatred. He never appreciated it as anything other than a way to prove himself and to dominate others. But when he opened the last chakra he realized that there was so much more to firebending than what he had originally believed. He sought his uncle's counsel, and spent a great deal of time relearning his craft. He was relentless in his training, but she noticed that he seemed more satisfied at the end of the day. He was at peace with himself as a person and as a bender, and as a result he had grown incredibly powerful.

Now his new found abilities would soon be put to the test. They would be leaving the temple today. By the end of the week they planned to rendezvous with her brother and Toph, as well as any forces that they could gather for an invasion of the Fire Nation. She knew that Zuko was anxious about the upcoming meeting with Sokka. Her brother still considered him the enemy, and he had not had the chance to experience the changes that Zuko had gone through the way that she had. Convincing him to trust the prince would not be easy, but she had faith that he would eventually come around.

She stood thinking about the reunion with her brother when she felt two arms encircle her waist from behind. Pulling her back against him, Zuko leaned down and said softly in her ear, "I missed you when I came back to camp this morning."

She smiled and asked, "Did you and Aang find Guru Pathik?"

"Yes we did?"

"Did he take you up on our offer?"

"No, he said that he had fulfilled what he had promised to do a long time ago, and now he was content to live out what was left of his life here in the solitude of the air temple."

She could understand the old man's decision. She almost wished they could stay as well. But they also had a promise to keep, and that promise would not be kept if they stayed hidden from the world.

"I'm going to miss this place." She said truthfully.

"I will too." He replied. "I never would have thought so when we first arrived, but now that we're about to leave it, I find myself appreciating it more."

Turning in his arms she faced him and smiled. "I'm going to miss this too." With that she gently kissed his lips.

When she pulled back he looked down at her with an expression of worry on his face. "What do you mean Katara?"

"Well it's just that up here, in the isolation of the temple, it's much easier to be alone. I don't know how many chances we're going to get once we meet up with everyone else."

"We'll make opportunities." He said, and then in a voice laden with insecurity he asked, "Katara, you don't regret what we have do you? I mean now that we're about to meet up with your brother, you're not having second thoughts about us are you?"

She brought her hand up to his face, and placing it against his cheek she said, "I love you Zuko. I will never regret that feeling. I'm sure that Sokka will have something to say about it, but I am not ashamed of you or of us."

He grinned at her answer. "I love you too." He replied, and then returned her kiss with a more passionate one of his own.

Pulling back she said breathlessly, "If Sokka sees you kiss me like that he may do something more than just complain."

This brought a slight smirk to his face. "I'm not stupid you know. I'll behave myself around big brother."

"See that you do." She teased, and then stepping out of his embrace she said, "I guess we should get Appa loaded for the trip."

"Aang and Uncle are already doing that. It was Iroh who sent me to find you. In fact he was very insistent about that."

'Really?" she smiled.

"Yeah." He replied and then in an irritated voice he said, "I don't think he has much faith in my abilities to woo you."

"Woo me?" she laughed.

"You know," he started, becoming slightly embarrassed, "courting girls; saying romantic things and such."

"Is that so?" She said laughing still, "Why would he have doubts about that?"

"I don't know." He replied scratching his head and blushing furiously. "I guess he still remembers that girl I went on a date with in Ba Sing Se."

"You went out with someone in Ba Sing Se?" she asked suddenly feeling jealous.

"Well it was only one date, and it was very awkward."

"Really, why was that?" She teased.

"I don't know. It just was. I mean I never really went out with a girl before and I just didn't know what to say. Everything came out all wrong. It was a complete disaster."

"So I guess your uncle has some valid reasons to worry."

He gave her a glare and said, "I think I'm doing just fine."

"Yes you are." She replied. She turned towards camp and started walking. Looking back over her shoulder she said, "But a little poetry every now and then would be nice."

With that she started to laugh again as she took off running. She could hear him close behind her all the way back to camp. Smiling she thought she truly would miss this place, but she knew that the memories of what had happened here would stay with her forever. No matter what the future held for them she would never forget the time spent at the air temple for it had changed her life.

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**A.N.** It is done! I love hitting the Complete button! I was getting anxious as the year anniversary of this story drew near. I am by nature a procrastinator and even worse at avoiding things that I don't want to do. Actually I did want to finish this so I sat down today and did it. I hope you all like it. This is probably my shortest chapter ever. Like others before it, it took on a life of its own and ended completely differently than I envisioned, but I liked it like this.

Writing this story has been an incredible experience for me. I have learned so much about my writing and have become a lot more confident. Much due to all of the support and constructive criticism over the course of writing it. When I started this it was in response to the horrible feeling that episode 220 left behind. But as I wrote it I began to pour more of myself and my own journey over the past year into it.

I truely enjoyed writing this and I have the first two chapters of a sequel already uploaded. Look for the sequel to share the title of this chapter - "Better Days".

I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the others. Thank you again to all who have reviewed. I never would have thought I would get such a great response. And once again I would like to thank WrenSharpbeak for her encouragement and ideas early on. Her imput really helped shape the story!


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